🐷 Ethan Ralph's Twitter / Tweets - A collection of thoughts, insights and musings from the internet's favorite gunted hobbit

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Will the "MMA" fight between Gabe Hoffman and Ethan Ralph 🐷 happen?

  • YES!

    Votes: 26 7.4%

  • lol no

    Votes: 327 92.6%
  • Total voters
    353
And somehow we're supposed to feel some kind of empathy for his latest troubles trying to visit his beloved son.
Such a trooper...sleeping in airports, getting whatever it is he says he has, to just get there.

How bout, book a flight to San Diego straight from Merida. No?
3 day weird ass excursions GTFO.
 
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Yeah, it just doesn't make any sense. None of it.
If he "lost" his passport, or whatever, wait until you have the necessary documents to travel. Fuck ...this kid ain't longing to see him so much he can't wait til gunt's got his shit together.

I mean, layovers, coyotes, Ubers, sneaking across the border. Somehow now he's in Guadalajara. Wtf?

I guess he's just a glutton for punishment and just a typical bitch-made drama queen.
 
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Nothing is more annoying than British people commenting on US politics. Then again, is Ralph even allowed to vote? Virginia bans felons from voting but he did flee to Mexico.
 
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Rogue AI said:
Nothing is more annoying than British people commenting on US politics. Then again, is Ralph even allowed to vote? Virginia bans felons from voting but he did flee to Mexico.
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It's either politics he knows nothing about or selling the gunt back hole for pesos
 
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Rage Pig said:
Why is he stranded in Guadaljara? Did he ride on a bus from Tijuana through Sinaloa? It doesn't make any sense when you look it up on a map, it's west of Mexico City. No signs of life since these tweets, there's hope they amputated his arm and he sleeps it off in bathtub filled with ice.
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A previous tweet heavily implies that he had to make last minute plans for his way back home
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He also states he'd be back around 2 PM today, but hasn't shown any signs of life for the past 17 hours.
 
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Assuming the airline wouldn't give him some kind of discount or refund for a new flight back, it would've been about 450 dollars with 1 stop at CDMX to return to Merida from Guadalajara. His return from Minnesota involved an incredibly long drive that ended up leaving his hip fractured: are we witnessing a similar situation? The city Ralph was last seen in is riddled with crime and gang activity, if a crippled gringo who can't speak the language asked for a 14 hour ride to Merida, would you do it or just rob him of all his shit and leave him on the side of the road? Keep in mind his pockets are literally jiggling like a piggy bank, plump with pesos and would be enough to withstand your Heroin addiction for the next 2 months.
 
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Die For Me! said:
Assuming the airline wouldn't give him some kind of discount or refund for a new flight back, it would've been about 450 dollars with 1 stop at CDMX to return to Merida from Guadalajara. His return from Minnesota involved an incredibly long drive that ended up leaving his hip fractured: are we witnessing a similar situation? The city Ralph was last seen in is riddled with crime and gang activity, if a crippled gringo who can't speak the language asked for a 14 hour ride to Merida, would you do it or just rob him of all his shit and leave him on the side of the road? Keep in mind his pockets are literally jiggling like a piggy bank, plump with pesos and would be enough to withstand your Heroin addiction for the next 2 months.
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He either lost his phone, internet access or his life. He usually can't go 24 hours without posting gay shit on X to collect 17 likes. I think his sperg out at the airport had consequences that make traveling more complicated than before, combined with being a broke ass pigga this turns every visit to his son into a multi day odyssey.
 
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Rage Pig said:
He either lost his phone, internet access or his life. He usually can't go 24 hours without posting gay shit on X to collect 17 likes. I think his sperg out at the airport had consequences that make traveling more complicated than before, combined with being a broke ass pigga this turns every visit to his son into a multi day odyssey.
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Maybe he had a moment of divine inspiration and went to build a sacred church on his worthless swamp land.

Honestly though, Ralph is a complete mess. He's getting fights at airports, he's losing phones and important documents, he's having to travel in the back of chicken trucks with coyotes to cross the border. All this could have been avoided if he had just got a job and paid his fuckin taxes. Maybe Ralph is just one of those people that can't function normally in society. What do we call them again? Oh yeah, retards.
 
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Over a day with no tweets. Ralph's either dead, or he lost his phone again. Given his Spanish skills, the latter may quickly lead to the former.
Edit to add: a fun third option would be, he slept on his good arm and what do you know? Piggertits managed to cripple his other trotter. Now unfortunately, Android phones don't seem to have language support for Speech to Text of "English (hollerin')". Too bad Ralph couldn't have held on to one of his iPhones, he could still be hollerin' out about how he voted for Obama (twice) on X!
 
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Welp, it's been over 24 hours since Ralph has posted on his Twitter. No signs of life anywhere, not even the mysterious anon who leaks Ralph's exs nudes on /cow/ after they coincidentally abscond hasn't appeared either. Has this ever happened before? Even in some of his most pilled out moments, Ralph has still managed to mush his hooves across his phone and send some kind of sign of life.
I'd like to petition a new decree to the kingdom of Gamer Gate, that if the king has not pointed at food, nay, even thirst posted under obvious phishing accounts for over one moon, that the court jesters are more than right to begin thy king's funeral proceedings.

Below are a few things I picked out; if we all contribute something like how Ralphs supporters were forced to contribute presents for his daughter's first birthday, I'm sure that, together, we can all make this a Ralphadeath worth remembering :)
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Be really funny if he talked up how he’s a huge streamer and gets all these dollars some cartel member is holding him for ransom. Would Null form a crowdfund to release our hollering hog in that case?

Alas Ralph just denies the name his daddy gave him so he probably just lost his phone while drunk in an airport on his 7 day journey back to his metal tin shack.
 
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Die For Me! said:
Welp, it's been over 24 hours since Ralph has posted on his Twitter. No signs of life anywhere, not even the mysterious anon who leaks Ralph's exs nudes on /cow/ after they coincidentally abscond hasn't appeared either. Has this ever happened before? Even in some of his most pilled out moments, Ralph has still managed to mush his hooves across his phone and send some kind of sign of life.
I'd like to petition a new decree to the kingdom of Gamer Gate, that if the king has not pointed at food, nay, even thirst posted under obvious phishing accounts for over one moon, that the court jesters are more than right to begin thy king's funeral proceedings.

Below are a few things I picked out; if we all contribute something like how Ralphs supporters were forced to contribute presents for his daughter's first birthday, I'm sure that, together, we can all make this a Ralphadeath worth remembering :)
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I'll get the local Padre to swear last rights over his mangled corpse in the ditch where he's dumped if anyone ever finds his remains. Good enough?
 
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