How are you doing? - Kiwi Farms Wellness Check

Got my vacation payment sent to the wrong account due to mistake I made 4 years ago. Had to move it to my current account with extra fees, but hey, it is still more than nothing.
Take care, people.
 
I got an IPhone 16 today, base model, so thats pretty cool. $22 a month, and maybe nothing at all/a reduced price once I finish transferring everything from my old phone and trade it in. Not really intuitive like my old Samsung though. Found out that my cellphone carrier doesn't have any internet in my area besides this shitty cellular thing that you just plug into a power outlet that has shit DL/UP and connectivity, but whatever.

I need to get all of these cardboard boxes out of my computer room and start hanging up my certificates/degrees/etc. I tried those shitty adhesive strips but then the frames instantly sagged and it looked shit so I hape these drywall anchor things, hopefully they work.
 
  • Winner
Reactions: DeutscheKatze
My refrigerator has stopped doing it's primary task, that is refrigerating. The freezer function is fine. This means it's probably fixable. But it's on a little foot high platform the previous owners put it on. So I get to put my woodworking skills to the test to build a little ramp so it can be slid off the platform to be repaired and/or replaced. And the fucking platform will be removed.

The good news is about all that was in it was condiments, one of the advantages to eating 98% of my meals out of the freezer.
 
Best case scenario, take pills at night, bury yourself in the garden or go into the cellar, chances are nobody's going to find you until the most inappropriate time. Cops are not going to know cause they're going to be told it's a missing persons case so they're not going to bring dogs. Your family is going to search the neighborhood, not the backyard cause they're convinced youre still alive. People will find the body when the property is being sold or somebody does gardening. Everybody wins.

In other news I'm depressed, shit sucks, more news at 11
creative, i like the funny idea of self composting biomüll entsorgung. but they prolly find the scruffled up earth and retrace steps. plus doggie sniffers are good so they catch you.
could make for a cool youtube spoopy idiot documentary, also hilarious :3

dun be depressed, drink a coffee, play a game, pet a cat or dog
eat some good fleisch
durchhalten, kamerad
 
  • Feels
Reactions: Lukie
so put off by her self-centeredness
You have my sympathies..... I am around the elderly day and night in my personal life and my vocation. Without psychobabble, just believe me that especially when they start pushing 85, even without any dementia, elderly people often start acting like teenagers. It's rough.....



I have been gone from work for just a few days and things have already escalated to fistfights in the parking lot and people quitting. They actually tried to call me in... I'm still in the hospital.... A buddy called and offered me a job on the spot since I worked for them previously. It was tempting to ditch my main employeer for them, but sadly they're pretty seasonal and it just wouldn't be enough hours.

My friend bought me a pack of zyn to cheer me up.... I don't use pouches or smoke. Being a wigger is awful.... I want to go home to my cats.
 
My refrigerator has stopped doing it's primary task, that is refrigerating. The freezer function is fine. This means it's probably fixable. But it's on a little foot high platform the previous owners put it on. So I get to put my woodworking skills to the test to build a little ramp so it can be slid off the platform to be repaired and/or replaced. And the fucking platform will be removed.

The good news is about all that was in it was condiments, one of the advantages to eating 98% of my meals out of the freezer.
Success, I was not crushed by a falling refrigerator. Turns out it was just solidly iced over, which I could have figured out from the front without moving it. Well, at least the stupid platform can be removed this weekend for whenever it does need to be replaced. And the defroster on the coils is working fine, those things get hot, ouch. Not sure what the cause was, maybe the door was open a crack or something and overwhelmed the defroster and I didn't notice.

And now I'll remember to turn back on the temp alarm.
 
Not so great. After the fire my roommate and I moved into a friends house (duplex, we had the upstairs) have been here 5 years. All that time the “friend” had be lying to us, the house had been foreclosed on and the bank owned it—he kept taking the rent tho.

About a year ago the house was sold at auction—“friend” didn’t bother to tell us this was coming up—sold for 12k to the “friends” cousin...it’s ok tho cousin would never sell while he and we were living here.

I supposed it’s pretty obvious what happens next. Can’t find ANY place to move to in town, we have 5 rescue cats for Christ sake...anything available is no freakin pets

Just a touch stressed
 
creative, i like the funny idea of self composting biomüll entsorgung. but they prolly find the scruffled up earth and retrace steps. plus doggie sniffers are good so they catch you.
could make for a cool youtube spoopy idiot documentary, also hilarious :3
I trust you've never seen Buried. Granted the mc didn't bury himself but I'm sure it's possible to do so.
dun be depressed, drink a coffee, play a game, pet a cat or dog
eat some good fleisch
durchhalten, kamerad
There's no fix for tfw no gf, just work through the pain.
 
Last edited:
I’m in a weird state of life right now.

I’m at the edge of a major life decision and it’s been hard as hell dealing with it. It’s especially hard since I don’t have a lot of friends I can talk to about it. It’s kinda frustrating since I lost a Job opportunity a couple of days ago.

I just feel so demotivated and apathetic now it kinda hurts. I know I have to take the next step forward but I part of me feels like it’s to late for that even though shit still needs to get done
 
Almost lost my cat yesterday. Was looking for her for almost two hours until I found her in an abandoned building nearby. I was happy, but when I tried to take her home she started hissing at me. It didn't stop me, but now I think that maybe she will never get fully attached to me, since I didn't get her as a small kitten, she was already big enough and with a full set of teeth. That makes me sad since I love her.
 
I have a relevant degree, but all I get is "we have gone forward" with another candidate.
Lie on your resume. Weird you actually get rejection emails, your resume is probably getting rejected by the automated system that checks for keywords.

Tax:
Last rental company returned my security deposit, but it was almost $400 more than I think I paid them. Good investment I guess.
 
Last edited:
I've half a mind to blogpost on KF, but this is a rational community, so I will.

The thing that I swore I would never allow to have happen to me has happened. I swore never to get into a relationship because chances are it would end in heartbreak, yet I was foolish enough to enter a relationship. I never understood why society values romance and relationships so highly, but now I do. I cannot emphasize how special this woman was to me: she was kind, caring, gentle, and loving. She understood me for who I am, and I loved her. Before this, I never knew how you could love someone other than one of your immediate family members, and I never knew how you could fall in love with a brand new person and see someone you've never known before as a guiding light in your life. She was a woman who could have been a wife to me, and I could have been a husband to her. Sadly, none of that will happen, and now I feel like I have been condemned to a lower sphere of existence. This is like having to experience teen angst as an adult! I have no ill will towards her, and I wish her well, but it's still sad.
 
kitchen sink flooded the floor, its not real wood parkett but some cheap stuff they layed over stone tiles

The dishwasher made it overflow water didnt properly sink idk
This whole apartment is just..
but it is my home and my place right now


ordered stuff to check the sink
already in minus so yeah
the forever loop
i cleaned it up as best as i could
when standing you can hear the water under the tiles

rug wet, dozens of towels
did put it in bathtub
airing out the kitchen
that i all can wash by hand now tomorrow
i feel so weak

i dont bother telling my parents anymore or my sis
they just give me the feeling no matter what i do i should have done this or that

job search? more money otherwise its bad -dad
why dont you move closer to us again? Its dumb staying there, if you switch job fields or learn something new you dont make enough money -sis

mom is in her own world like always, her against what the doctors want her to do, so instead of going to the physio doc she cancels on him, only talking about how she feels or what she has to do

my work is toxic enough i cant show any further thing of my struggles
they use it against me

369 days sober
i wish i was not im sick of my reality
of whats left of my dumb life i destroyed myself
well as if i ever had better cards to begin with

seriously, im at my limit now
the whole day i had this feeling of dread that something is going to happen
or something is gonna come out again that will hurt my heart more
i did wash my clothing by hand, brush teeth shower did eat took care of cat
eat stupid vitamins
the whole time i had the most awful thoughts again
i dont even have anything to listen to anymore or watch
its too strong

im done
I know i dont deserve proper salary
I dont deserve love or friends
Or even peace
no solutions no wonders
why cant live not just fucking kill me with a desease or sudden anything quickly
i know thats the thing i deserve
das ist alles nurnoch Quälerei

others have way worse situations
i have nothing to offer i just want to be gone

no one cares anymore too
whoever vodoos me my bad life
Do the final blow already
Im sick of it
No matter what i try i cant win

its so hard to appear like i still have a plan to do better infront of work or anyone else

its perverse how on some days i even remotely think id have a chance on things changing, hope

i dont deserve anything
they all were right
i made my own grave
stressed is no word anymore
Im numb

its all pathetic
im pathetic
 
Lie on your resume. Weird you actually get rejection emails, your resume is probably getting rejected by the automated system that checks for keywords.
A lot of the listings you see these are "ghost jobs".

Tax: Slowly chipping away at my list of "shit what needs doing". Managed to replace the shells of my key fobs which were a pain in the ass, even with the use of a rotary tool. Managed to burn my finger on the plastic, too. Tomorrow, gonna start touching up all the paint chips before we start getting snow.
 
I moved all my bills to a bank account that my VA pension feeds into, hopefully I didn't forget anything. Waiting for my water/sewer/trash and gas(?) bill to come in the mail so I can make accounts for that but thats it. Also my fucking car lease expires next month and my bank has been sitting on my auto loan for like 2 goddamn weeks.

Bulking fucking sucks, its so hard to gain weight; I ate
3 microwaveable burritos (310 each -> 930 calories)
microwavable general tso's (450 calories)
Ice cream (700 calories)
32oz milk (552 calories)
and a McDonalds Double Quarter Pounder w/ 10 chicky nuggies. (1200~ calories)

all for a total of 3850 calories, and I just finished all of this at 11 PM. I'm supposed to only eat 2840 but I didn't hit my protein needed and it all went to shit, but I fucking hate protein powder, even with 48 oz of milk its like I'm drinking syrup.

Now all I want now is to drink but I'm ultra resistant to even the hardest of liquors and at 90 calories a shot i'll end up at 5000 calories by the end of the night. I need to stay up anyway so fuck it I guess, I'll just starve myself harder on the cut, hope thats not worse compared to the bulk.
 
Last edited:
  • Lunacy
Reactions: AnOminous
High as fuck. Party was kinda dead, but I’m gonna sleep like a baby tonight (almost fell asleep at that motherfucker). Halloween just don’t feel the same as it used to, but glad I tried to do something anyway.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Mesh Gear Fox
Back