Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[Hollywood Hulk Hogan]

Neither is half the stuff Fatty shoves into his festering gob but it's not like that makes a difference to him. Carnivore is just a larp anyway.

It's hysterical that fatty cooks up all this (shitty) food but pretends he isn't eating it. I am totally sure he just cooks up this shit and Tammy and Jr just fill their mouths with it.

 

[Mechanical Pencil]

It's hysterical that fatty cooks up all this (shitty) food but pretends he isn't eating it.

It wouldn't be as funny if he only made double or triple portions, but no, he has to have Tamham mix up a whole damn party sized amount of slop.

 

[Bassomatic]

Damn that random Krabby patty clip is hilarious. Literally kids edit better off Daddy's retired iPhone4s. Yet Jack's got what a 5k rig?this restaurant just looks sad. All around. That meal was foul.

Was Tam Ham actually trying to help when she suggested the plank salmon? Jack immediately got scared and claimed "breading" despite that being in the cat fish. Got his ribs (did anyone if was a side of sauce?)

As I've said I struggle to watch these anymore it's such a drain circle feeling. Legit lost that spoof of low grade reviews just a fat man dying spaced out on pain pills.

Chilli month! God no. Actually as yesterday was Halloween, my mom always made her famous and super delicious vegetarian chili if anyone wants I'll copy paste recipe. But she'd put two pearl onions on too as "eyes"... Really happy memory as a kid. Unlike Jack being fed turkey necks to shush the child Wendigo.

I can't wait to see him fuck up 5 chillis and Thanksgiving. Is Jack going to try to kill another service member?

 

[Marc]

my mom always made her famous and super delicious vegetarian chili if anyone wants I'll copy paste recipe.

Yes, please.

 

[Bassomatic]

Yes, please.

Got you fam.

Please excuse the date but copied from a few weeks ago when momma basso sent me
FWD:
Ok watching Phillies. But will try to get this recipe going. First use dried beans only. Equal parts black and kidney. Boil in water with 1/2 onion, 1 garlic clove, a couple of squeezes of tomato paste and my secret epazote spice. About a tablespoon Cooks about 1 hour. Mean while. sauté onion, sweet and hot peppers of choice garlic with cumin seed, ground cumin , ancho chili pepper and a bit more tomato paste. Deglaze pan with a bit of water. Mash together with beans with a potato masher and simmer and adjust seasonings hope that works

Enjoy friends and even as a meat eater this is my favorite! Some friends and family who didn't grow up feel same so it's not just my nostalgia.

 

[SteveGoatman]

Nice, I'm going to try this. Also, just goes to show that somebody who actually enjoys cooking and has skill at it can make a wide range of dishes, including vegetarian even if they aren't one themselves. Jack couldn't imagine making something that doesn't personally appeal to him on a base level.

Got you fam.

Please excuse the date but copied from a few weeks ago when momma basso sent me
FWD:
Ok watching Phillies. But will try to get this recipe going. First use dried beans only. Equal parts black and kidney. Boil in water with 1/2 onion, 1 garlic clove, a couple of squeezes of tomato paste and my secret epazote spice. About a tablespoon Cooks about 1 hour. Mean while. sauté onion, sweet and hot peppers of choice garlic with cumin seed, ground cumin , ancho chili pepper and a bit more tomato paste. Deglaze pan with a bit of water. Mash together with beans with a potato masher and simmer and adjust seasonings hope that works

Enjoy friends and even as a meat eater this is my favorite! Some friends and family who didn't grow up feel same so it's not just my nostalgia.

 

[Falcon Sebben]

It's hysterical that fatty cooks up all this (shitty) food but pretends he isn't eating it. I am totally sure he just cooks up this shit and Tammy and Jr just fill their mouths with it.

It's not just that but his taste buds are so wrecked he's said he's not counting spices or rubs as part of this. In other words he's using sugar and dried vegetable matter in his cooking which isn't carnivore.

Or when he made that witbier with Jr you saw him sucking back half the bottle. Another thing that shouldn't be allowed on carnivore and yet there he is. Also Hammy is against alcohol so Fatty needs to be against it too but he still drank it and allows Jr to drink.

 

[a terminal posture]

I was waiting for it and then "a little salty". You don't say!
Also, he has officially given up on carnivore, on camera.

 

[p1138]

I was waiting for it and then "a little salty". You don't say!
Also, he has officially given up on carnivore, on camera.

What the fuck is that image of a child with burn wounds from cheese? And he asked an AI to come up with this bullshit? And then he's not even following the recipe that he actually remembered to put in the description, because it lists dried peppers.

Still has his nasty freezer burnt GAWRLIK. Probably squeezed some seeds from the lime into it, and the man barely has any strength in his one working arm.

Sprinkles in barely any ancho chili powder. Puts a fucking kinders steak rub in? "never heard of it, had to buy it". Then adds some cilantro lime powder thing? None of this is in the ingredients. 1 teaspoon of cumin, he adds a half cup. Same with the smoked paprika. A fucking cup of oregano, half teaspoon of cinnamon comes out to a quarter cup. Fist full of pepper, surprisingly light on the salt(even though there's so much salt in the other shit).

Tammy actually cooked the ground beef and chorizo for him.

20 minutes in the pressure cooker, doesn't know how to release the pressure. Dog on the screen for some reason.

That looks fucking HORRENDOUS in the pressure cooker. It's a liquid mess of slop. But that's what Fatty likes, meat cheese, and grease. Chili for fatty is basically the equivalent of a grease smoothie for him since he can just drink it. Adds the sour cream while it's still way too hot

"little salty, feel like a whole mexican restaurant just blew up in my mouth" blew a load in his mouth maybe.

"AI cooking at it's best" so is that what this month is going to be? AI chili month?

 

[Doctor of Autism]

I was waiting for it and then "a little salty". You don't say!
Also, he has officially given up on carnivore, on camera.

Nice try, Jack was only eating the meat part of the chili and he made a bowl for himself with peppers, chili, and sour cream just to show off the recipe, he's still totally carnivore.

 

[Falcon Sebben]

I was waiting for it and then "a little salty". You don't say!
Also, he has officially given up on carnivore, on camera.

It's the raw vegetables that I can't get past when he makes this shit. Well... that and the fact it's a greasy soup. But the whole point of sauteeing the vegetables first is to soften them but also to get rid of that "green" or "raw" flavor they have. His chili is going to be terrible even before he over-seasons it.

And of course the end result looks like trash with a mound of sour cream and shreddy cheese.

Although maybe the shreddy cheese and sour cream is what he uses to thicken it up a bit?

I don't know but his attempts at chili always make me sad.

EDIT: Forgot he always adds the cilantro too soon. That's a delicate herb. You literally add it at the very end. The chili is ready. You add your cilantro, give it a mix and then kill the heat.

Adding it at the start means the flavor is now gone.

 

[Hollywood Hulk Hogan]

It's the raw vegetables that I can't get past when he makes this shit. Well... that and the fact it's a greasy soup. But the whole point of sauteeing the vegetables first is to soften them but also to get rid of that "green" or "raw" flavor they have. His chili is going to be terrible even before he over-seasons it.

And of course the end result looks like trash with a mound of sour cream and shreddy cheese.

Although maybe the shreddy cheese and sour cream is what he uses to thicken it up a bit?

I don't know but his attempts at chili always make me sad.

EDIT: Forgot he always adds the cilantro too soon. That's a delicate herb. You literally add it at the very end. The chili is ready. You add your cilantro, give it a mix and then kill the heat.

Adding it at the start means the flavor is now gone.

I am weird but I like diced raw onions put in my chili after it's done cooking.

I also like my chili thicker, so I'd never use a pressure cooker but would prefer to cook it long and slow over a stove to reduce it.

He also put way too many fucking seasonings in there. Chili is a stupid easy thing to cook and of course fatty fucked it up. You don't need to get fancy with it, just the basic ingredients (beans, beef/chicken + onion sauteed, tomatos, spicy peppers if you want, maybe some garlic). Then for seasoning, just chili powder and pepper is all you need. Canned beans and tomatoes have plenty of salt, so no need to add more. I used to make chili with black & pinto beans, jalepenos, ground chicken and petite-diced tomatoes and seasoned with chili powder and pepper. Was delicious and stupid easy to make.

 

[p1138]

I also like my chili thicker, so I'd never use a pressure cooker but would prefer to cook it long and slow over a stove to reduce it.

Yes, but Fatty wants to be able to drink, or rather inhale his food as quickly as possible. He doesn't have time for a slow cooker, he needs gud meat NOW

 

[Fascist Frederick]

Someone posted an article about Steven Seagal and as soon as I saw his recent picture I instantly thought of one man.

Good god they are twins. At least Steven has the use of both arms. Probably. Maybe... though looking at it closer we've seen Jack hold the dead arm like that back when he was pretending he could still use it.

 

[Banks Davenport]

I was waiting for it and then "a little salty". You don't say!
Also, he has officially given up on carnivore, on camera.

Make sure to listen with earbuds so you can hear hear Tammy whisper "now" to inform Jack that he should start scooping the beef slop into the pressure cooker. Not how long and awkward the pause is as Tammy holds the pan in mid air.

We know Tam Tam carts Fatty around, but is she the secret puppet master, telling Jack exactly what to do before each take? Is she the Cheney to Scalfani's Bush?

 

[Instant_Pot_User]

I was waiting for it and then "a little salty". You don't say!
Also, he has officially given up on carnivore, on camera.

AI cooking looks and sounds like nonsensical slopmaking.

 

[Adamska]

Chili isn't carnivore!

You don't understand, duh seezonin duzn't cownt.

I for one can easily wait for Fat Jack to fuck up and make really shit soup for the thirty-sixth to forty-first time. Because you can totally make the same slop bowl you fuck up in a pressure cooker due to lazy gluttony be interesting enough to film five goddamn times.

And he asked an AI to come up with this bullshit? And then he's not even following the recipe that he actually remembered to put in the description, because it lists dried peppers.

Of course he didn't bother; it was likely just him lying about it so he could belatedly follow that gimmick where you have AI suggest a meal and cook it. He was always just going to make the same pressure cooked shit soup that he always makes.

It's telling even the fucking robot is telling him to simmer and slow cook the chili. A string of code with no ability to taste made a better recipe by borrowing from others than Jack ever made.

As for the chili, it's just shitslop soup part 37. The fat homo even mixed the cheese and sour cream off screen into the shitslop soup to make it nuclear orange like he always does when he has the choice to do it.

 

[AltisticRight]

I was waiting for it and then "a little salty". You don't say!
Also, he has officially given up on carnivore, on camera.

This new introduction is trash.

How is this a recipe? It's literally just add a bunch of canned products and off-the-shelf spices into a pressure cooker, cook for 20 minutes, and then cover it with disgusting slop.

This looks disgusting.


Of course.


He calls what looks like half a tube of sour sauce a "dollop".


Have your next stroke already Scalfatty.

 

[lindsayfan]

i'm not much of a chef, but inspired by this thread and another cow's deadly chili, i decided what the hell. i have just under a pound of ground beef i hadn't decided what to do with, so i made a simple, basic chili with what i had on hand, and it turned out great. i'm enjoying it as i type this.

browned the beef AND DRAINED IT
sauteed onions, sweet peppers, a little garlic and some tomatoes
made a roux (butter/flour, very simple once you're used to it), then stirred in some broth
added the beef, the veggies, a can of red beans and some tomato puree to liquid in cookpot
added salt, pepper, copious cayenne and the tail end of a bottle of bbq sauce for sweetness.
stirred, simmered an hour with a little more flour to thicken

it rules! thanks gross defective cows for inspiring this cozy meal. obviously if i had cumin, cilantro etc i would have used them but this is just what i had on hand where i am

 

[Falcon Sebben]

I am weird but I like diced raw onions put in my chili after it's done cooking.

I also like my chili thicker, so I'd never use a pressure cooker but would prefer to cook it long and slow over a stove to reduce it.

He also put way too many fucking seasonings in there. Chili is a stupid easy thing to cook and of course fatty fucked it up. You don't need to get fancy with it, just the basic ingredients (beans, beef/chicken + onion sauteed, tomatos, spicy peppers if you want, maybe some garlic). Then for seasoning, just chili powder and pepper is all you need. Canned beans and tomatoes have plenty of salt, so no need to add more. I used to make chili with black & pinto beans, jalepenos, ground chicken and petite-diced tomatoes and seasoned with chili powder and pepper. Was delicious and stupid easy to make.

No. Adding raw onions afterwards gives texture but also a counterpoint to the cooked onions in it. But notice the difference. You add them AFTER. He just dumps them in at the start.

And I don't know anybody who prefers chili soup to actual chili. When I make mine the only liquid comes from the tomatoes and the cup of coffee I add. Yes. I add coffee to my chili as well as cocoa.

The amount of cinnamon he added was horrifying. When I add cinnamon to mine it's a pinch. It's like a 1/4 tsp at most. It gives it a little extra punch. The amount he put in? You'd just taste cinnamon. But then everything he added was too much like the stupid amount of cayenne and that Cilantro - Lime seasoning. Looked like he dumped in half the container.

Someone posted an article about Steven Seagal and as soon as I saw his recent picture I instantly thought of one man.
View attachment 6589351
Good god they are twins. At least Steven has the use of both arms. Probably. Maybe... though looking at it closer we've seen Jack hold the dead arm like that back when he was pretending he could still use it.

Seagal, while a lolcow now, was at least a semi-respectable martial artist when he started. Now he's just a joke. Like Fatty is but Fatty was always a joke.