Are you lost needing femoid advice post here - For the poor bastard's who dare or are just curious

[fitty tucker]

Therapy legitimately only exists as a surrogate activity for men. It doesn't help any "set in stone" issues such as psychiatric disorders, physical illness etc.

It legitimately only helps with coping and that's about it.

If it genuinely helped people with medical disorders besides "mood disorders" (reaction to said medical issues) it would be great.

There it is. You do realize what you need help with is coping, right?

 

[Rekeita's Kidneys]

Well, someone telling me over and over again "hmm yeah okay, yup okay huh, yeah" might work for someone feeble minded who wants a yesman for everything. But in my personal experience it seems to only provide benefit for simpletons.

There it is. You do realize what you need help with is coping, right?

 

[fitty tucker]

Well, someone telling me over and over again "hmm yeah okay, yup okay huh, yeah" might work for someone feeble minded who wants a yesman for everything. But in my personal experience it seems to only provide benefit for simpletons.

Ah, so you just don't understand what therapy is. I see.

Actual therapy is work. You identify thinking and behavior patterns that don't suit you or cause you distress. You discover your many blind spots and biases. You learn ways to reframe your thinking and new ways to solve problems (believe it or not, you actually don't know the only solutions to every problem you encounter). You work on habits that are destructive to yourself and your relationships.

Despite what you may think, the only "solution" to you being a lonely, retarded, ugly piece of shit isn't you becoming magically hot and not retarded. That'll never happen. You can wallow in that fact, or you can do something to work on yourself and offer a shred of benefit to society rather than just being the hopeless waste of space you have determined yourself to be.

But anyway, you clearly already knew all that, so why did you even post in this thread?

 

[Mandy Stroyer]

I genuinely have pity for schizophrenics and people dealing with severe shit because there really is no good proper treatments, let alone a fucking cure.

The meds worked well, and incredibly fast, but I definitely did not need to be on them for nearly 2 years. If I ran out and started having symptoms again, I'd take them. The difficulty is judging when you're no longer having an episode which you can really only find out off them for a few weeks. I am lucky enough to be aware of what typically happens when one is kicking up but medication is now reserved for "active danger to self/others" situations only. I know unfortunately that is not the case for a good majority and I typically find that in people with drug induced schizophrenia whose brains are so fried they can't figure out that maybe smoking copious amounts of weed won't fix them. r/Schizophrenia is a good example of this and why I don't go there.

It legitimately only helps with coping and that's about it.

Well, someone telling me over and over again "hmm yeah okay, yup okay huh, yeah" might work for someone feeble minded who wants a yesman for everything. But in my personal experience it seems to only provide benefit for simpletons.

Agreed. I've seen several and it's almost always bandaid fixes on inoperable wounds. I'm not paying 85$ a week to be told I'm self aware and to play with fidget spinners when I think someone else might be in my house at 4 am. The only thing worth my time was Brain Lock, which wasn't recommended to me by a therapist but rather something I found on my own for free. There was tangible work to be done and some yuppie in a cushy chair was keeping me from doing it by treating me like a spastic 5 year old. I'm aware of my mental illness/es, aware of my behavior and that I have difficulty connecting to people, and that I come off strangely. Congratulating me on noticing is not helpful, noticing is why I am here. Modern therapy has been reduced to asspats and think tanks for the introspectively challenged.

 

[Rekeita's Kidneys]

Bingo. I think figuring out coping mechanisms is someone one must find out themselves.

Congratulating me on noticing is not helpful, noticing is why I am here. Modern therapy has been reduced to asspats and think tanks for the introspectively challenged.

Despite what you may think, the only "solution" to you being a lonely, retarded, ugly piece of shit isn't you becoming magically hot and not retarded. That'll never happen. You can wallow in that fact, or you can do something to work on yourself and offer a shred of benefit to society rather than just being the hopeless waste of space you have determined yourself to be.

The solution is to try and accept immutable bullshit and have reasonable expectations in life. If I keep desiring things that are unobtainable it will only make me more miserable.
To me, therapy just feels like prostitution, minus the fucking. Perhaps that's why it doesn't work for my hyper autist male brain lol.
I just went into the thread for some different perspective I suppose.

 

[Big Miss Steak]

To me, therapy just feels like prostitution, minus the fucking.

I genuinely don't understand what the hell that even means

 

[Rekeita's Kidneys]

I genuinely don't understand what the hell that even means

It's literally just paying someone to experience something normal people experience. Instead of fucking it's just talking.

 

[Soi Woh Jak]

To me, therapy just feels like prostitution, minus the fucking. Perhaps that's why it doesn't work for my hyper autist male brain lol.

You're genuinely retarded. It makes logical sense to view therapy as a crutch or a disability like I do but I have no idea how it can feel like prostitution. The therapist is not providing you emotional support you moron, he/she is trying to fix you cause youre a broken pathetic failure.

 

[Montalbane]

But anons the therapists themselves are broken pathetic failures!

 

[Meursault's gun]

@Rekeita's Kidneys I generally agree with what you are saying even though you are wording it all retarded. However, above all things, therapy is useful in managing to actually coherently display your issues and grievances to a person who is right in front of you, which you will inherently need in life. Yes, in an ideal world everyone would have a wonderfully supportive family and circle of friends, however we live in a society culture in which becoming isolated is all too easy. Yes, it feels gay to pay someone to listen to you talk for an hour. Yes, therapists are often fucking morons themselves. BUT trying it out won't fucking kill you, and it will inherently help you start relaying shit to the world in a productive manner, especially given your 'tisms. It's about the restructuring that your brain does upon bouncing your thoughts off a person who is trained in spotting negative patterns.

You can even come across therapists who are not yes-men, but will challenge the shit you say, esp if you tell them that that's what you are seeking. Generally, the older ones (40+) are the ones who are capable of this. Older therapists are just better inherently, tbh. I recommend them for anyone who has shit a connection with their parents and no parental figures.

 

[Rekeita's Kidneys]

@Rekeita's Kidneys I generally agree with what you are saying even though you are wording it all retarded. However, above all things, therapy is useful in managing to actually coherently display your issues and grievances to a person who is right in front of you, which you will inherently need in life. Yes, in an ideal world everyone would have a wonderfully supportive family and circle of friends, however we live in a society culture in which becoming isolated is all too easy. Yes, it feels gay to pay someone to listen to you talk for an hour. Yes, therapists are often fucking morons themselves. BUT trying it out won't fucking kill you, and it will inherently help you start relaying shit to the world in a productive manner, especially given your 'tisms. It's about the restructuring that your brain does upon bouncing your thoughts off a person who is trained in spotting negative patterns.

You can even come across therapists who are not yes-men, but will challenge the shit you say, esp if you tell them that that's what you are seeking. Generally, the older ones (40+) are the ones who are capable of this. Older therapists are just better inherently, tbh. I recommend them for anyone who has shit a connection with their parents and no parental figures.

I agree with this to some degree, and yeah, perhaps I was too blunt with my metaphor. But as someone who's been to CBT and ABA therapy for literal years besides realizing what a fucking scam it is... I'm not entirely convinced it's for someone like me. There is no way to "talk away" literal physical changes in ones brain from birth etc. All you can do is literally cope with it and hopefully not rope.

The only good therapist I had was an older Jewish gentleman who ended up popping himself in the head. Says a lot about how effective mindfulness if he can't even keep a 9mm out of his head lol.

What I probably genuinely need is to learn to accept certain things, and try and find some decent people to be around. I think, genuinely learning to accept certain shit in my life normal people take for granted... I am probably never going to experience. I need to learn to treat it like winning the lottery or some unobtainable unrealistic goal. That way I can focus on actual tangible shit in my life. Unfortunately, I compare myself to normal people, so naturally I am disappointment in myself.

Idk, long fucking tangent, I have little to no sleep and it's getting to me lol

 

[The Feline Solution]

Hey Kiwifrens I'm at a loss. I took some advice from this thread to pick myself up, be more confident and talk to more people. I met this girl a few weeks ago and I thought it was going great. We were texting everyday, talked on the phone quite a few times, and went on a few dates that were a lot of fun. We went out last night and it was, from my perspective, absolutely perfect. I'll spare you the details, but we kissed before we split up. This morning she told me she's not interested. I'm just really demotivated right now cause I couldn't imagine things going any better and it still wasn't enough.

Obligatory "not a foid" but sometimes it just happens, mate. Don't overthink it. Been there.

It's easy to directly jump to: "Man it's all my fault" when that's not necessarily the case.

Oh, i got an actual on-topic question for this thread for once: Is this a thing that women generally do? I think i never asked one about this particular thing before but i know tons of males, me included, who at one point in their life jumped straight to the "Man, it's all my fault" conclusion when things didn't work out with a girl.

Men often have this insane idea that they need to find out what the reason was, so (most likely) they can then negotiate it with her, or (less likely) they can change that aspect of themselves to suit her.

Certainly rings true in my experience. I learned that "If it doesn't click right away it will never" with women (i think it's true to some extent in males too) when it comes to relationships i've been in , so no matter what you do as a man, if the woman in question signals that she has no real interest any attempt to change her mind is a futile endeavour. I experienced outliers but very rarely. Good thing i will most likely never have to worry about this shit ever again but as a teen or young adult that was, at times, a hard lesson to learn.

Men need to get male friends and talk shit out with them.

Word. I almost feel bad now about leaving that comment i wrote a couple of days ago on your profile, this is a very insightful comment and, again, certainly rings true.

 

[Hubelublub]

There is no way to "talk away" literal physical changes in ones brain from birth etc. All you can do is literally cope with it and hopefully not rope.

Jesus, imagine being friends with someone like this.

You want decent people to be around, be a decent person. Good friends are for lifting you up when you're down, but they're also for sharing and maximising the good times too. No one wants to be befriend a dark cloud constantly raining on their parade.

Change your thinking from

try and find some decent people to be around

towards

being someone decent people want to be around.

You do sound disappointed in yourself, and it's bleeding into how you treat other people. Friends are not there to serve you, you're both there to serve each other. If you only in it for what you can take from others, you're going to attract only people interested in taking from you too.

You'd benefit from a good therapist to help you see the good in you, because no one is going to become close to you when you're Eeyore, and paying a therapist allows you to get feedback in exchange for giving them money.

Call that prostitution without fucking if you like. You need it.

 

[Major]

i think it doesn't make much sense to just trust any research, considering every year we have drug recalls and evidence of pharmaceutical companies knowing something they were selling was harmful but still going ahead with pushing it to market, how many stories are there of them paying researchers off, twisting the data etc. Hormonal birth control is very profitable, sure it gave women more options but everything has a cost. Just because there aren't studies that show something has x effect yet doesn't mean we should disregard all the women that report said effects, they have a vested interest in hiding that, and this shouldn't be even controversial given how often we see just that. It's a weird attitude in our culture to treat science as infallible and honest, rather than recognizing more and more it has become a business, as have academic institutions. It's also really hard to get anything published when it goes against the status quo, if a study shows something different it might never see the light of day, and it will be picked apart much harder than one that already confirms the current consensus. There's also been several scandals when it turned out some studies were complete nonsense, poorly done, etc etc and those go unquestioned and cited for years by others.

There was a huge study in Denmark which showed that hormonal birth control and IUDs were associated with depression. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/27680324/
Whether it is causal is unknown

 

[Meursault's gun]

Oh, i got an actual on-topic question for this thread for once: Is this a thing that women generally do? I think i never asked one about this particular thing before but i know tons of males, me included, who at one point in their life jumped straight to the "Man, it's all my fault" conclusion when things didn't work out with a girl.

Difficult to generalize something that varies so intensely from person to person, but from my experience it's very common. Most women I know started off with that mindset and had to train it out of themselves.

 

[Meursault's gun]

What I probably genuinely need is to learn to accept certain things

Read Viktor Frankl's Man's Search for Meaning and any other books of his that speak on logotherapy. It's probably one of the best schools of psychology for people who have issues that are relatively fucked and not exactly fixable, imo.

The only good therapist I had was an older Jewish gentleman who ended up popping himself in the head. Says a lot about how effective mindfulness if he can't even keep a 9mm out of his head lol.

And this is retarded, there have been plenty of incredibly wise people who offed themselves. Doesn't mean that what they've said should be taken for granted.

 

[Hubelublub]

Is this a thing that women generally do? I think i never asked one about this particular thing before but i know tons of males, me included, who at one point in their life jumped straight to the "Man, it's all my fault"

It's a little different to how men do it. For women, we have an ongoing guard for it. Women are generally more sensitive, so we're constantly picking up on small cues to indicate that we're not doing something right and need to correct it. We're constantly adjusting minor behaviours to get closer to what we interpret as being the ideal partner.

Men appear to wait until she leaves and it's over to start the recriminations. As far as I can tell, they have to be smacked on the head to clue in that someone's doing something wrong.

The end effect is that women adjust within the relationship, whereas men adjust without the relationship.

This also explains why women date a man hoping he will change and he doesn't, and men date a woman hoping she won't change and she does. We're each expecting different responses to stimuli, based solely on how we respond to stimuli.

I wouldn't say one is better than the other. The female approach leads to a lot of false positives and over-analysis, while the male approach is how men get blindsided, because they fucking slept through the whole relationship.

As always, there are no answers, only tradeoffs.

 

[Thief of Tables]

Either way, cutting it off early and without much fuss is good on her to do, she spared you a lot of trouble. Soldier on, nigga.

See it like another experience you got under your belt that will make you better in the future.

Yeah and to add to this don't take this as a failure because of yourself. Her not being interested doesn't have to do anything to do with you, you might have or could've done EVERYTHING perfect and she still could've been uninterested, maybe not feeling things, feeling incompatible, realizing she's in a bad spot for a relationship right now.

Men often have this insane idea that they need to find out what the reason was, so (most likely) they can then negotiate it with her, or (less likely) they can change that aspect of themselves to suit her.
Both of these are terrible propositions for a long term successful relationship.

Be the best version of yourself that you can be, and you'll find someone who will fit you, and you for them.

I wasn't in the headspace to take advice yesterday and I didn't want to be one of those faggots that rejects all the advice given in this thread. I know everything you're saying is true, but it's hard for it to sink in right now. I appreciate the replies.

 

[fitty tucker]

I genuinely don't understand what the hell that even means

It means he's the one super special moid that is too super smart for therapy. He knows better than everyone, duh!

Also, ABA is total shit and of course it didn't help your autistic brain. Did you know that not all therapy is ABA? Crazy!

All I'm hearing from @Rekeita's Kidneys is that he's lazy, doesn't want to do any legwork, and is the most super speshul saddest unfixable-ist person in the whole wide world so we should just feel bad for him ))))):

@Thief of Tables, keep at it. The world can fuck off while you take the time to process this mentally. Dating fucking sucks, and the emotional whiplash is retarded. To add to what someone said earlier, sometimes women are seeing more than one man. You might be a 92/100, but the other guy is a 98/100 for whatever random reason (remember, these numbers aren't objective, they're completely subjective to each person). She picks him, and it feels like you're a failure, when really you're both great dudes who get along well with her. You're still 92/100, because it's a binary yes/no, it feels like you're 0/100.

 

[soda pimp]

What kind of cheap makeup should I buy to play with? I've never used makeup before and I want to get into using it. I want to cover my pimples for an interview.