Are you lost needing femoid advice post here - For the poor bastard's who dare or are just curious

[Meursault's gun]

The best thing to do whilst you are trying to figure out if you can capture a live woman is probably to get a cat for the company.

Women and cats alike would appreciate it if people like this didn't get their hands on whores OR street cats.

 

[Rekeita's Kidneys]

Understandable. "It's not that bad" is a phrase that therapists should almost entirely avoid because it's entirely non-productive. "Bad" is relative.

However, just like you should learn to not give a shit about what a random retarded friend or therapist may think, the same should apply to people online. We do not know your situation. Many people will go on to read what you say in a retarded light, and you need to be able to parse through what is really representative of yourself. Stop trying to prove yourself to anyone here. Just take the advice that seems rational and applicable to you.

You're probably right. I guess I'm overly defensive, this is the internet after all. Fuck, not just the lower case i internet, this is fucking Kiwi Farms lol.

 

[w4vy_gr4vy]

This is gonna sound ridiculous, but how do I get a white gf?

Get help

 

[DickMain]

You're probably right. I guess I'm overly defensive, this is the internet after all. Fuck, not just the lower case i internet, this is fucking Kiwi Farms lol.

It was @Hubelublub 's advice about being overly defensive, so that's who you ought to be admitting that to. Some other advice is to not go around dumb-rating folks who have legitimate advice for you. Some of that advice is going to suck to hear, but necessary. Confronting the uglier parts of ourselves isn't supposed to be fun, easy, or pleasant, but eventually you will be able to have a laugh about it.

 

[Rekeita's Kidneys]

It was @Hubelublub 's advice about being overly defensive, so that's who you ought to be admitting that to. Some other advice is to not go around dumb-rating folks who have legitimate advice for you. Some of that advice is going to suck to hear, but necessary. Confronting the uglier parts of ourselves isn't supposed to be fun, easy, or pleasant, but eventually you will be able to have a laugh about it.

I'm just dumb reacting because it is incredibly abrasive and annoying. Just trying to be honest I guess.
Here I am being defensive again lol

 

[DickMain]

A mark of maturity is to sometimes not be honest with your thoughts to save yourself from acting a fool. When I'd said people don't like their advice being thrown back at them, that's what I was referring to. It's okay to fuck up, but you don't need to be an ass (and nobody's going to remember this in a week so don't spend days stewing over it).

 

[Hubelublub]

The hardest thing in the world is figuring out whose advice to listen to, and when. Some will give gentle hints (you have to listen carefully to even notice these sometimes), some will give harsh words, some will deliberately try to lead you astray, some will accidentally lead you astray, and some just want to see the world burn.

If you listen too much to the people who tell you what you want to hear, you end up going on HRT, cutting your dick off, and calling yourself Fifi Trixibelle. If you listen too much to the people who tell you what you don't want to hear, you end up depressed and uninspired, constantly doubting yourself and unwilling to trust your gut.

This also applies to the role people play in your life. Those close to you in theory care the most about you. But they also have the most to lose in upsetting you. Some random faggot on the internet doesn't actually give a shit about you, but they also have nothing to lose in telling you the truth even if it hurts.

The only thing I can suggest is trial and error. Listen to different people, try to notice patterns, rank people based on what their incentives might be.
Then try their advice, and notice the outcomes. Try accepting advice you don't like, or even intensely dislike, and see what happens. Try to ignore your immediate reaction until you get a better grasp on things.

Ultimately, you pay the final cost of living your life, because this is the only one you'll ever get.

 

[The Feline Solution]

Psychiatrists are usually cursory - they are noting what you're saying in a medical framework. They may make some suggestions, which may include, "get sleep" or "consider finding a therapist."

Yes, many people are getting that one wrong and are confusing psychiatrists with therapists. Psychs give you meds and talk about how those meds are working out for you. The better psychs will take their time with patients and ask somewhat more in-depth questions but mostly it will still be "How are you adjusting to the medication?" "Do you have any side effects?" "We could try zogpill XYZ if this is not working out".

There are some psychiatrists who do some therapy (see any Woody Allen movie), but these days that's not the common model - it's fairly passe

Yeah, from personal experience these are all old, Freud-worshipping queers that never learned to get with the times. Last time i went to one of those was in the early 2000's i think, needless to say they were useless apart from getting my scripts filled. That last one was also a condescending cunt to such a degree that i told him as much in my penultimate session, of course he wasn't used to push-back of that kind and told me in the last session how he can't have me as a patient anymore. Fucking weak homo, wasn't like i was there entirely out of my own volition in the first place.

By not hating women

View attachment 6611901

Peak "It's time to stop posting" hours. I don't think even going completely offline could fix this kind of mindset, already way off the deep end.

I'm genuinely curious, are you white yourself?

Judging by his "Islam will fix Japan" statement it's some manner of shitskin. Shitskins are the only men i've ever encountered who are hung up and obsessed with getting a white girlfriend, those around here that manage to eventually trick a white woman into a relationship settle for some ugly slavoid woman more often than not.

Wow, that's terrible.

It's a shame you were prevented from explaining with words why that made you so incensed, and instead had to lash out with rage, cutting off your nose to spite your face.

If i was diddled as a kid, which i assume @Rekeita's Kidneys was hinting at, i would've looked for the next best heavy object in that therapist's office and bashed his face in it with, zero exaggeration. If it indeed was said as "Come on, it's not so bad". That's callous, unprofessional and a clear sign that you need to find a more competent therapist.

 

[pork and beans]

Im latefagging, like always, but I want to say that I disagree with the recent popularity of therapy as the solution or a MUST for every person.

it is true that a lot of people are suffering in a way therapy CAN help them, or help them help theirselves, as no matter how self aware we might be, we all have blind spots. And although friends can help you realise that, they might not be able to, either because they don't see those blind spots either or because they aren't equipped to teach you good methods of dealing with it depending on the issue. (Or someone may not have friends.)

of course, some problems can be fixed easily. Of course someone will be anxious and will feel bad if he has unhealthy eating habits or bad sleep schedule.

But you can also be suicidal or depressed, even though everything in your control is going well, with the same healthy coping mechanisms and support system you've always had. And you can have things that may be the cause or trigger for your issue, that are out of your control. The help therapy could bring you there is somewhat equal to the help you may be able to provide yourself with enough self research.

Another protential problem with therapy is that same as with confiding with a friend, the therapist themselves may not be actually equipped to help you, either, if you have a very concrete problem, or they work with a style of therapy that doesnt suit you. And unlike a friend, there is a power imbalance in a therapist-patient relationship. There are great therapists and there are not so good ones, not everyone is ideal at their job.

Ideally, the therapist should disclose what is their approach to therapy when asked, and will not take in patients they know are above their pay grade. But it is not an ideal world. And if you live in a country with public healthcare, where the one therapist you get assigned is not your choice, and the waiting lists are months long and sessions sparse, it just might not be always worth it.

Add to this the amount of therapists and counselors that push pills, are lazy...

I reiterate that I think a LOT of people would be better if they examined their lives more deeply, from
an outside perspective.
Its easy to think you are self aware, but that's almost never truly true, and so one might end up tripping over the same rock twice.


But therapy right now is only one method of many, and not always the best one, IMO.

Also, after seeing so many kiwis discuss CBT, I have to point out, even if it's obvious, that
Methods like CBT aren't good or bad by themselves, and even though they are now prescribed for everything, that shouldnt be the case.

CBT, for example, might be really helpful in one context (anxiety) and unhelpful, or with inconclusive results in another (OCD, Anorexia. Those seem to be helped more by Family Therapy. But the disorder itself is ofren caused, or exacerbated, by a history of family mental illness mental illness or unstable family dynamics...! So getting that type of therapy to happen depends on considerations often out of the patient's control....and other skills like DBT can be learnt at home.)

 

[The Feline Solution]

Im latefagging, like always, but I want to say that I disagree with the recent popularity of therapy as the solution or a MUST for every person.

If i'd click "Agree" any harder my mouse would break. It's a bullshit First World mindset, especially when it comes to stuff like depression and anxiety. Genuine personality disorders and addiction issues are a different game but i have spent enough time in the mental health care system to conclude it is mostly bullshit and that zogpills are poison.

Another protential problem with therapy is that same as with confiding with a friend, the therapist themselves may not be actually equipped to help you, either, if you have a very concrete problem, or they work with a style of therapy that doesnt suit you. And unlike a friend, there is a power imbalance in a therapist-patient relationship. There are great therapists and there are not so good ones, not everyone is ideal at their job.

Spot fucking on. Excellent and insightful post in general.

 

[fitty tucker]

So much fucking unpaid emotional labor in this thread, for a conclusion @Rekeita's Kidneys could have easily come to pages ago. And he still thinks he's the smartest one here


The other women here are a lot more patient than me, lol

 

[Hubelublub]

I reiterate that I think a LOT of people would be better if they examined their lives more deeply, from
an outside perspective

And how does a person who had never done this, and doesn't have the tools to do it, go ahead and, you know, do it?

It's a bit like swimming. Once you know how to swim, it's almost automatic to not drown. But for someone who never learnt to swim, standing at the poolside and telling them to swim as they desperately gasp for oxygen isn't going to do shit for them.

That's what we have going on here.

I agree with your that therapy is not necessary for everyone. Many people can simply heed a bit of advice and take it on board without much hassle.
But for the individual involved here, I think if you read over the posts, it's very clear that there will be a lot of work involved to get this person to a place where they are happy and fulfilled and have the tools to respond to hardships.

They can't do it themselves, they don't have friends willing to do it, who else do you suggest?

i would've looked for the next best heavy object in that therapist's office and bashed his face in it with

You definitely need therapy if you have so little control over your emotions. I hope this is just online bravado, because what the fuck.

So much fucking unpaid emotional labor in this thread, for a conclusion @Rekeita's Kidneys could have easily come to pages ago.

There are definitely some mental walls here, so I don't think it's so easy for him.
In any case, the poster has the potential to have a better life. Whether he actually does so is in his hands.

 

[The Feline Solution]

You definitely need therapy if you have so little control over your emotions. I hope this is just online bravado, because what the fuck.

I'm just sensitive. I also spent around 20 years in the mental health system, i had my fill of therapy.

 

[Hubelublub]

I'm just sensitive. I also spent around 20 years in the mental health system, i had my fill of therapy.

You're a retard using violence to handle your lack of emotional regulation.

 

[The Feline Solution]

You're a retard using violence to handle your lack of emotional regulation.

I don't do it (much) these days but i definitely did it back then. My temper got a lot better. Not through therapy or pills, mind.

 

[Meursault's gun]

So much fucking unpaid emotional labor in this thread, for a conclusion @Rekeita's Kidneys could have easily come to pages ago. And he still thinks he's the smartest one here


The other women here are a lot more patient than me, lol

He asked, and some people are willing to answer and explain.

(user was not held at gunpoint while writing this message) (user chose to click on the thread and reply)

 

[Hubelublub]

I don't do it (much) these days but i definitely did it back then. My temper got a lot better. Not through therapy or pills, mind.

Don't care. You're still gross, and promoting your disgusting tendencies. Stay away from women.

 

[Meursault's gun]

I don't do it (much) these days but i definitely did it back then. My temper got a lot better. Not through therapy or pills, mind.

I have this suspicion that, if a woman were to say that she would like to bash in the head of a therapist who told her that sexual abuse "is not so bad", they would be considered righteous for it. Strange double standards lurk around these parts. Sexual abuse on both sides is horrifying and its downplaying deserves backlash, imo.

Good on you for overcoming that shit. I'm sure that the more primal parts of men's brains are difficult to tame on your own when you have not been set up with good coping mechanisms.

 

[pork and beans]

Spot fucking on. Excellent and insightful post in general.

thanks its a touchy and tricky topic, I think, because people are reminded of those individuals that refuse therapy not because they are skeptic but because they refuse to be aware of their own issues or harmful behaviour.

However, psychology and therapy are not just areas of study but a part of an industry and the healthcare system and neither are or should be exempt from criticism. The more blindly we accept the information we are given, the worse off we all are.

Im sure im not the kiwi disillusioned with it.

I thoroughly recommend Daniel Mackler's videos, he is an ex therapist and ex therapy patient, so his perspective is double. I don't agree with everything he says (duh), but he hits the nail in the head in his critique of psychotherapy and how many patients don't get better, but worse, or the abuse that can go on in therapy-patient dynamics. I also think his videos on family are worth checking out. He has also written a couple of books, he strikes me as a quite sensible person.

 

[The Feline Solution]

Don't care. You're still gross, and promoting your disgusting tendencies. Stay away from women.

Nigger, i've been with my girlfriend for 16 years now, fuck off with this bullshit. Your moid hate is shining through again.

Good on you for overcoming that shit.

Having a good, no-nonsense woman at my side helped tremendously.