Are you lost needing femoid advice post here - For the poor bastard's who dare or are just curious

[Spooky all year]

I'm willing to try therapy but the problem is I've been to literally 8+ different therapists throughout the years and it really hasn't done anything that just self reflection and other bullshit has helped.

I have a terrible way with words but I am glad at least someone here got what I was saying LMAO.

I'd be willing to try out other forms of therapy other than CBT because it just feels... Too basic, I'm aware of my thoughts, thought processes and the concept of "theory of mind". What I really want I guess is solutions rather than just coping with shit. That and legitimately just someone to talk to about bullshit without it devolving into retarded bullshit like with my family and few people I know. (I probably just need friends)

If CBT feels too basic, maybe take a look at schema therapy. I've had good experiences with that and others that I know have found the same thing. CBT also didn't cut it for us. The whole thing though, is that you will need to want to change. It IS about breaking patterns. Properly learning why they form and how they work do help, but you need to want to get rid of them to get into a better space. It's pretty self-confronting and it takes a lot of work. That said, I think it's worth it. And I too have had multiple psychologists.

Kicked out of 108 different therapists offices but it was the therapists fault the every time. Oy vey!

Was it kicked out, or just no click with the therapist / type of therapy though? I'm not sure how the proper channels work for OP, but here you get referrals and you're pretty much stuck with whatever the therapist decides is best. You can agree to it, or you can look for someone / something else. I've run into that multiple times myself and only on therapist 6 or something they tried something new (the schema therapy) and that worked.

Psychiatrists are usually cursory - they are noting what you're saying in a medical framework. They may make some suggestions, which may include, "get sleep" or "consider finding a therapist."

There are some psychiatrists who do some therapy (see any Woody Allen movie), but these days that's not the common model - it's fairly passe and most give you 20 minutes while they think about your meds.

And since I can't get a quote from Friend of... I'll reply to that this way - here we do actually have psychiatrists that do the therapy sessions. Though they are also the only ones allowed to prescribe your meds. Usually we deal more with psychologists (is that the same as your therapist?), but there's an overseeing psychiatrist for a whole course of treatment. It seems to work out, here at least.

 

[Friend of Dorothy Parker]

And since I can't get a quote from Friend of... I'll reply to that this way - here we do actually have psychiatrists that do the therapy sessions. Though they are also the only ones allowed to prescribe your meds. Usually we deal more with psychologists (is that the same as your therapist?), but there's an overseeing psychiatrist for a whole course of treatment. It seems to work out, here at least.

I'm sure someone will correct any imprecise info I lay out - but as far as I have seen where I live, and for generally functional people without debilitating or critical conditions:

• These days, psychiatrists (MDs) are primarily prescribing meds and having fairly brief conversations about how you're doing/ how the meds are or are not functioning, and you see them every x months, depending on length of time on meds, seriousness and complexity of concerns, etc.
• Only MDs (and some types of nurses (APRN, NP, etc.)) can prescribe rx.
• A general (non-psych) doc may prescribe rx, of course, but beyond fairly basic anti-depressants/ anti-anxiety meds, GPs/ FPs/ peds commonly defer/ refer to a psychiatrist. And adhd rx requires a psych (idk if that is mandated by law or insurers, or just common practice in my particular location).
• Therapy-therapy (talk/psychoanalysis, cbt, dbt, emr, etc.) is more typically with a licensed psychologist/PsyD, lpc, mft, lcsw, d/msw, etc. Some specialize in one or more of those techniques, or specialize in specific demographics or disorders. Unless also otherwise authorized to prescribe, regular therapists/ counselors don't manage meds.

I'd say that there's generally not enormous coordination of care btw prescribing psychs and therapists/counselors, in the absence of a critical situation and permissions granted.

Also, to reply to a long comment, highlight the section of the comment you want to respond to, then hit Reply (which will appear under what you've highlighted).

 

[Space Police]

Yep. I'm totally baiting. You've all been trolled.

No meme arrow so you look like that and say that. Freudian slip?

 

[Hubelublub]

Hey ladies. Which are your favourite fall flowers?

Whichever ones don't attract the aphids.

I fucking hate those fucking fuckers so fucking much.

 

[Hubelublub]

Women will post shit like this then go on and accuse men of being porn addicts.

"Yeah go on and date a troon. I'm definitely not flicking the bean to that idea INCEL" date a troon and dm me the sex tape! That would be so cringe incel.

Fren, this is a forum dedicated to watching people fuck up their lives and laughing at them for it.

We want you as the next lolcow. You certainly seem retarded enough for it.

 

[Space Police]

"Yeah go on and date a troon. I'm definitely not flicking the bean to that idea INCEL" date a troon and dm me the sex tape! That would be so cringe incel.

Nobody says that. People who unironically post slopjak-like rants like that are often living slopjaks themselves.

 

[Inside your walls]

Hey ladies. Which are your favourite fall flowers?

I like asters, sunflowers and chrysanthemums.

 

[She Beetle]

Hey ladies. Which are your favourite fall flowers?

Cyrstanthemums, because the name tickles me. In terms of actual aesthetic appeal? Marigolds.

 

[Friend of Dorothy Parker]

Women will post shit like this then go on and accuse men of being porn addicts.

"Yeah go on and date a troon. I'm definitely not flicking the bean to that idea INCEL" date a troon and dm me the sex tape! That would be so cringe incel.

And the hits just keep coming.

Observation completely random and unrelated to anything you have ever posted:

You knowwwww, asserting something doesn't actually prove it. Sometimes asserting something reveals more about the asserter than about the object of the assertion.

But back on topic: I'm absolutely shocked the woman you mentioned a few weeks ago will not be your girlfriend. It's unfortunate she didn't provide you a detailed analysis as to why.

And no, don't ask her for one. If she wanted to, she would.

Hey ladies. Which are your favourite fall flowers?

Hydrangea, dahlias, black-eyed susans, goldenrod, Japanese anemone, sedum/ stonecrop, calibrachoa, nemesia, sunflowers, Leonidas roses, sneeze weed (helenium), salvia/sage. Availability depending on zone and use.

 

[Corvo]

This is gonna sound ridiculous, but how do I get a white gf?

I'm genuinely curious, are you white yourself?

 

[lego racers]

wishing this lost twink good luck on his self-discovery journey.

 

[DickMain]

One wonders why a man would want to date and/or marry such insufferable creatures. Everyone knows white women are whores who will baby-trap and divorce-rape you. Surely buttfucking other men would be preferable?

No dice. We tried that already. He just put on cat ears, cut his dick off, and started wearing skirts. Still gay and expensive.

What I really want I guess is solutions rather than just coping with shit. That and legitimately just someone to talk to about bullshit without it devolving into retarded bullshit like with my family and few people I know. (I probably just need friends)

There is no silver bullet, I'm sorry to have to tell you. The solution is to learn to cope. I did CBT for the last 2 years myself, and I spent a good chunk of that hoping to just find 'the answer' that would make everything make sense. Fact of the matter is that eventually you need to learn how to accept things around you, big or small. Take stock of what you can actually control and influence, and work at that; accept and forget about the rest.

Another Kiwi had pointed out that you need to be able to rely upon yourself first and foremost, and I think that's fantastic advice. You have to be able to support yourself mentally and find personal fulfillment that somebody out there wants to invest in, somebody you bring out the best in.

Wdym?

Just that (and I'm going off of 5 minutes of backing up a few pages here) it sounds like the same advice has been repeated a few times, and you seem to be finding reasons not to take it or work around it. This is something I myself struggle with, and it's feedback I've gotten from friends, so take it from me that everybody has an upper limit to their patience. You'll wear that thin if you're shooting down advice and looking for ways things can fail.

 

[Rekeita's Kidneys]

Maybe I'll just fucking cave in and try to see a therapist again. I'm just so fucking demoralized from literally seeing several and all of them ending up being complete idiots.

Genuinely, I won't go into this too much, but I had some bad shit happen to me when I was a little kid that still fucks with my head. So I mention this to the therapist and they have the fucking nerve to tell me "It's not so bad bro". Legit just stormed out and left. That was the last time I tried to get any counseling because that was incredibly fucking rude, offensive and unprofessional.

You could see why I have trust issues I guess.

It is really hard to try and open up to someone just to have them stab a knife in your stomach.

 

[DickMain]

Maybe I'll just fucking cave in and try to see a therapist again. I'm just so fucking demoralized from literally seeing several and all of them ending up being complete idiots.

it's not 'caving' you're working to improve and better yourself. and it's fine to not agree with your therapists 100%. when mine told me about all the workbook shit for CBT i p much told her after the first couple that i'm not doing children's schoolwork and we worked it out from there. it's a two-way street, but you also have to give them a chance. you can't just throw up walls and not try anything they suggest but there's nothign wrong with recognizing once in a while that some part of it isn't for you as long as you gave it an honest try.

a lot of us have had fucked up shit happen to us, but i encourage you to really sit down with yourself and try and remember ver batim what exactly it was that particular therapist said to set you off like that. really try to work out if it was that bad what they said or if there's even a possibility maybe it wasn't as simple as "it's not so bad". and most importantly don't tell us about it; this is for you, it's not performative. this answer is for you only.

a big part of my own sessions was having to sit down and really think about what was actually being said and not just putting words in peoples' mouths or getting ahead of myself and making the worst-case scenario of things. just try and take stock of those situations if you feel you're able, and again do not come and tell everybody. you should seek these answers for yourself for the sake of knowing them not because of how you think it'll make other people feel. seek that internal fulfillment

 

[Hubelublub]

Legit just stormed out and left.

Wow, that's terrible.

It's a shame you were prevented from explaining with words why that made you so incensed, and instead had to lash out with rage, cutting off your nose to spite your face.

 

[Rekeita's Kidneys]

Trust me, with the subject matter at hand, and how fucking rude and insensitive it came across with someone I already was beginning to mistrust... you'd do the same.

Wow, that's terrible.

It's a shame you were prevented from explaining with words why that made you so incensed, and instead had to lash out with rage, cutting off your nose to spite your face.

a lot of us have had fucked up shit happen to us, but i encourage you to really sit down with yourself and try and remember ver batim what exactly it was that particular therapist said to set you off like that. really try to work out if it was that bad what they said or if there's even a possibility maybe it wasn't as simple as "it's not so bad". and most importantly don't tell us about it; this is for you, it's not performative. this answer is for you only.

It was genuinely really fucking rude and unironically "triggering". There's ways to approach sensitive shit in therapy that can be more direct, but the way he did it just... yeah.

Imagine me telling some woman who just got raped or someone who saw their friend get killed in front of them some absolute retarded shit like that, you'd rightfully call me a fucking prick and not recommend my services, hell fucking company outside of therapy.

 

[Hubelublub]

Trust me

Why? On what basis?

you'd do the same.

Speak for yourself nigga.

you'd rightfully call me a fucking prick

What's this need to tell other people how they'd react, and insisting that it'd be just like your reaction?

I'm aware of my thoughts, thought processes and the concept of "theory of mind".

Really really pressing X to doubt.

Being incredibly defensive is a curse that will only damage yourself. Hope you give yourself the help you need. Good luck.

 

[isalaide]

This is gonna sound ridiculous, but how do I get a white gf?

song time, womenfolk!

Might have smoked a few in my time
But never thought it was a crime
Knew the day would surely come
When I'd chill and settle down
When I think I've found a good old-fashioned girl
Then she put me in my place
Everyone's a little queer
Oh, can't she be a little straight?
I'm dumb, she's a lesbian
I thought I had found the one
We were good as married in my mind
But married in my mind's no good
Oh, pink triangle on her sleeve
Let me know the truth, let me know the truth

Anyway, I understand you are black, cannot manage to stop talking about how much you hate women, and also are some broke retail worker, so I think you have to aim more at your level, which is no one white.

If I am wrong in my understanding and you yourself are actually white, you are focusing on the section of white women who are street homeless. They will put up with a lot and you will be able to flex your economic superiority to them.

The best thing to do whilst you are trying to figure out if you can capture a live woman is probably to get a cat for the company.

 

[DickMain]

Being incredibly defensive is a curse that will only damage yourself. Hope you give yourself the help you need. Good luck.

This was more or less what I was getting at earlier @Rekeita's Kidneys , when I'd said that most folk have an upper limit to how much they're willing to have their help thrown back in their face. I myself am an overly-defensive person so I've had experience being broken this news by people close to me how exhausting it is to make room emotionally for your baggage while dealing with their own. That's a theory-of-mind experience right there, learning that other people have their own lives completely outside your own just like how you don't notice 90% of theirs.

The quoted post actually echoes very closely what I had been told several times when I was a little younger. It's eerily close to things I've heard, so take it from me, it gets to be draining for everybody around you. This sort of behavior will make you unattractive to anybody in any situation, not just in romantic pursuits. Learning how to manage it will go a long way.

"You'd rightfully call me a prick if..." how do you know this? Try and work on this where you're able to. This, to me, sounds like you're just automatically projecting your own reactions and thoughts onto people, assuming they'll act or think the way you would. Nobody but you is in your head, and we're not telepaths. Try to catch yourself having these thoughts in your regular day-to-day, about mundane, ordinary things. I'm sure you'll notice it a lot. Try and catch it in the most ordinary situations you can imagine; if it's happening in those little situations, then it's no doubt happening in the big ones, and you can't hope to correct the big stuff before the small stuff.

The first step is to just catch yourself doing it, not necessarily correct it, but to just build that baseline awareness of the behavior. Eventually you can start questioning and challenging the thoughts; does it make sense that I'm thinking this? Am I just overreacting? What's the basis for this thought, where's the proof behind it?

CBT is a practice in exorcising irrational behavior. Those behaviors lead to irrational and overblown external reactions, which put you into further shitty situations to stew over and fret over even more irrational thoughts. Jumping to conclusions, making assumptions, reading peoples' minds, catastrophizing; these are some of the things that type of therapy excels at addressing. It's all rooted in trying to find the proof behind what you're thinking; to try and rationalize things and ground your thoughts in reality and not blow everything up to be a bigger deal than it is.

 

[Meursault's gun]

Trust me, with the subject matter at hand, and how fucking rude and insensitive it came across with someone I already was beginning to mistrust... you'd do the same.

Understandable. "It's not that bad" is a phrase that therapists should almost entirely avoid because it's entirely non-productive. "Bad" is relative.

However, just like you should learn to not give a shit about what a random retarded friend or therapist may think, the same should apply to people online. We do not know your situation. Many people will go on to read what you say in a retarded light, and you need to be able to parse through what is really representative of yourself. Stop trying to prove yourself to anyone here. Just take the advice that seems rational and applicable to you.