Nicholas Robert Rekieta / Rekieta "Law" / Actually Criminal / @NickRekieta - Polysubstance enthusiast, "Lawtuber" turned Dabbleverse streamer, swinger, "whitebread ass nigga", snuffs animals for fun, visits 🇯🇲 BBC resorts. Legally a cuckold who lost his license to practice law. Wife's bod worth $50. The normies even know.

[Pizdec]

Nick offended me as Southerner with his poor quality slop of biscuits and gravy. He made it more sloppy and botched the presentation and ratio of ingredients. No doubt it was disgusting.

Instead of being a comfort food, it was uncomfortable to look at.

I fucking love Buscuits and Gravy, but whatever the fuck Nick made? That ain't it chief.

Now that April left the Balldo Bunker, Rekieta is in search of another woman's attention.

He also tweets about how he is was suicidal.
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*Still is. We all know what you'll do when the guilty verdict comes in you selfish asshole.

 

[Catgirl Tyranid]

Plz no bully, I still don't understand how the balldo works... I understand that you put your balls into it somehow but then i don't understand exactly how the rest goes.
I heard PPP sorta explain it on the Kino Casino but I don't get it.
Unironically, make it make sense for me.
Everytime i read the word Balldo i am confused as to what it does or how it works.

No problem friend, I got you:

Step 1. Insert your testicles into the torture device

Step 2. Lie to yourself that this is totally normal and not at all the most degenerate thing you've ever done

Step 3. Sell you soul to Slannesh so that pain is now synonymous with pleasure

Step 4. Do all the drugs, permanently alter your brain chemistry, and become unable to differentiate reality from the lies you tell yourself

Step 5. Start a cooking channel.

Hope that helps!

 

[Edict of Expulsion]

How does Balldo reconcile saying he is "busy" all the time when all he seems to do is hang around in random chats of people he once associated with?

“Those are just your delusions stalker child.”
(He doesn’t because he can’t.)

When people point out his inconsistencies he just acts like a victim and says the biggest lie he can think of to deflect, like the drug test on his kid being wrong.
When people post literal video evidence of him contradicting what he just said now he doesn’t respond.

The holes in his brain just make him incapable of realizing that not everyone is as stupid as april or has given up on life like Our Wife.

 

[Edward Teach]

Ahem, I believe [warning: linked recipe looks absolutely vomitous]: hotdish*" is the preferred terminology in Minnesota.

You are correct.....fucking tater tot hotdish.......they always have to make it when I am there.

Oh and desserts......bars. Looks like fudge....no it bars.

 

[Bowl of Ramen]

My wife is from "the north" and I can say, all those fucking northerners always think they know exactly what southern food is, how to cook it, etc. Then they can't tell you what NC BBQ vs Memphis BBQ is, try to give you raspberry tea when you think you're about to get southern sweet tea, inform you how they don't know what grits are and have never heard of okra before, etc. Nothing against them, they just have no clue what our cuisine is like to the point where they can't really even discuss it because they have the terminology wrong at a very basic level.

Please don't get me started on the NC BBQ issue. All of the transplants ask about brisket, and I'm like, why can't we institute the death penalty for that fucking question. If you can break down NC BBQ types/history, you can move here. If you can't, total transplant death.

Nick tax: is he still suicide baiting? And why isn't his father beating the shit out of him? Bob, you're a continual disappointment.

 

[Edict of Expulsion]

Nick's collecting lolcow traits like fucking infinity stones. He's got bossman's crack, Fatrick's twitter mannerisms and now Scalfani's cooking. He's becoming the end boss of the sektur.

Next up; JF's potato mashing skills.

he even has ralph's level of brain function.

No other lolcow of the year can compete with the one true christianity all-in-one voltron lolcow.

He’s Cell from DBZ but he’s mastered adopting the lolcow traits from a distance. Perhaps a twisted power brought on by unexplored curses from the medallion. Great power… to become the greatest fuckup.

 

[Rodeo Roadrunner]

- several minutes of cooking advice
- can't use wine because he still got "a little bit of time left on my restriction from consuming alcohol"

Maybe I am a cooking retard but is he talking about using wine in cooking? Why wouldn't he be able to use it, when you use alcohol in cooking doesn't the alcohol cook off? Or is the very small amount left really enough to trigger a drug sensor or something?

 

[TexOffender]

Maybe I am a cooking retard but is he talking about using wine in cooking? Why wouldn't he be able to use it, when you use alcohol in cooking doesn't the alcohol cook off? Or is the very small amount left really enough to trigger a drug sensor or something?

He probably would lick the bottle after pouring some into the pan and not be able to resist taking swigs of it.

 

[Edict of Expulsion]

If this is actually April losing her fucking might while going un-coked and being ignored by Nick because he has to actually do shit for a change under supervision of his parent (who must be super happy about the situation, who does not dream about being forced to save your adult son from prison and raise his 5 kids????).

It funny how so many of the possible issues that could happen down the line of these criminal cases, which were predicted as scenarions on KF, are now starting to become reality.

The collective IQ here predicted a large number of events 100% correct.

All true! Especially this:

because he has to actually do shit for a change under supervision of his parent (who must be super happy about the situation, who does not dream about being forced to save your adult son from prison and raise his 5 kids????).

Crackets father Bob being around is definitely for CPS.

Remember in Bob’s CPS testimony that he couldn’t recognize when someone was on drugs and agreed to take classes to learn how to recognize someone on drugs.

Crackets would rather kill himself than live with his five kids and wife in a nice house with a good local church and community, if he can’t have his coke whore and regular orgies with scam artists in Jamaica.

His only priority is keeping his parents as ignorant as possible of what he has done and what he is, so they don’t alter their will, and wait for them to die, so he can instantly snort all of their money up his nose.

Sadly for crackets, his parents seem to be in very good health and there’s absolutely no way in hell he makes it 20 years without a full breakdown and relapse.

One a junkie, always a junkie. Ape just has to show up with a little white baggy and an offer for a fun afternoon over at her apartment and crackets is GONE.

 

[Yandex Captcha Solver]

Whoa buddy!

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Your making fun of my life? I've got a magical word up my sleeve that will tear you into pieces. NERD

 

[repentance]

April's brand of manipulation is to present herself as the perfect adoring, available, game, abiding, worshipful dream girl.

I suspect she also plays the vulnerability game. There's certainly no indication that she's ever lived as an independent adult.

 

[Pippa's Greasy KB]

Step 5. Start a cooking channel.

Is nick actually working on a becoming trad wife youtuber?

1. faith and religion stream (heretical but DONE)
2. cooking stream (slop for his family DONE)
3. gardening (talked about killing and torturing raccoons, just need to actually stream it)
4. health and wellness (rumoured to be treating his kids with coke)
5. interior design (had his insides rearranged by jamaicans)

 

[Vibralldo]

Now that April left the Balldo Bunker, Rekieta is in search of another woman's attention.

He also tweets about how he is was suicidal.
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Was?

 

[Edict of Expulsion]

Was?

“Was” as in this morning. He’ll be back there this afternoon. Don’t worry.

 

[repentance]

He's sperging in the chat:

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Nick's legal problems are very much real life issues and all of them, including the Montagraph lawsuit, stem from his abuse of substances. Whether he's an "addict" is irrelevant. His substance abuse has created havoc in his own life and the lives of his family.

 

[DickMain]

My wife is from "the north" and I can say, all those fucking northerners always think they know exactly what southern food is, how to cook it, etc. Then they can't tell you what NC BBQ vs Memphis BBQ is, try to give you raspberry tea when you think you're about to get southern sweet tea, inform you how they don't know what grits are and have never heard of okra before, etc. Nothing against them, they just have no clue what our cuisine is like to the point where they can't really even discuss it because they have the terminology wrong at a very basic level.

Which is ironic considering southern cuisine was developed by displaced northerners who had to adapt their dishes to a completely foreign agricultural environment. Imagine not ever having some grits with butter. I would rope (no offense to your wife).

Nick... buddy... for real now...

I know we like to have a good laugh at you but come on. That ain't happening.

Pull up, Goose!

 

[Captain Manning]

In Hunley's Laid Back Law stream right now fishing for twiggycide sympathy.

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Huh. Ironic. No?

You know, what's funny is I don't think I've ever once said that this man should kill himself. Nor do I intend to now.

Because I am a better person than him. That's hardly bragging, either. Being better than Nick Rekieta isn't much of an accomplishment. In fact, I take it on faith that everybody in this thread is a better person than him.

That said, I do firmly believe he needs to pay for his crimes against his children. In a firm but humane manner, as prescribed by law.

That's between him, the State of Minnesota, and God though. I ultimately have no say in that.

 

[Aggie Gray 59]

Maybe I am a cooking retard but is he talking about using wine in cooking? Why wouldn't he be able to use it, when you use alcohol in cooking doesn't the alcohol cook off? Or is the very small amount left really enough to trigger a drug sensor or something?

It does but not completely. He could use it in a long-cooking stew or deglaze a nice wide pan and get most of it, but never all.

 

[AnOminous]

- assures his audience that the Rekieta household is like this every day

So every day is a day of psychotic screaming about strangers who aren't even there to kids who don't care and are worried this psycho has a knife in his hand while spewing insane nonsense that makes no sense.

And this psycho is about to hand you a plate of vile slop and demand you eat it.

Okay kissing up to Nick's Daddy Dick Masterson. Yes that does raise suspicions that it's Nick gayopping. But I say it's either Nick or the real Ape.

It's hard to tell since they're both completely insane.

Those look like the most undercooked unfluffed biscuits ever. I don't even know what he did to fuck them that bad.
I could say this is what happens when a damn Yankee tries to make real Southern food but I know Yankees that can cook great.
That's a fucking atrocity.
Nicks "biscuits and gravy" reminds me of what Sherman did to Atlanta.

If you're going to fuck up the biscuits that bad you might as well just use canned biscuit dough and that gravy that comes in a boilable bag.

What a loser, and like biscuits and gravy is even a dish to boast about, much less to be such a joke you fuck up even cooking on games journalist mode.

After watching this Nick must be really busy if his Dad is having to drive the kids around and do his groceries for him.

Or maybe he's not allowed to be alone with them. I mean I can't imagine why that would be the case.

when a confused young woman is drowning in a see of retardation.

More like a sea of semen.

A lot of people itt have never broken up with a girl BPD psycho before.

FTFY.

I think these streams are partly about having evidence for CPS that the kids are being taken care of and that family is providing support. Far too much of the kids lives is being exposed to public view for it to be anything else.

If that's why he's doing it, he should try not acting like a ranting and raving psycho in a documentary where they show you home videos from before the axe came out.

Her gambit is "what I can do for you" but she doesn't realize that as much as she might flatter his ego, it doesn't override his need for status.

She may be very dim and slow, but she'll eventually realize that, and that's when things get fun.

 

[Major]

Cracky trying to seduce Ana Kasparian is the height of hilarity to me.

I think she can resist the magnetism of the balldo for now