Ethan Ralph, Fugitive from Justice

[MirnaMinkoff]

If he's smart (which he's not), he'd avoid visiting anyone he knows in the US. The amount of people that would sell his fat ass up the river is staggering.

Let’s be real here, there’s nobody for Ralph to visit outside of the court supervised visits with the child he had with a mentally ill teenager.

Dick should take this opportunity to extend that invite to dinner that Ralph has been so desperate to get. He doesn’t have to fake injuries anymore, Johnny Law has his back.

 

[JustStopDude]

Obviously not the same thing, and like Null said, this is really unprecedented, but for Ralph, this can get pretty shitty.

It can take a good amount of time of just sitting in a jail waiting for the courts to decide whether or not they want to spend the money to ship him back.

That crazy lady Leticia Collins, she has a thread, got caught up in Wisconsin or whatever on a slew of charges, including some in Arkansas for falsely accusing a guy for rape and digital harassment. She sat in jail for a while until Arkansas just dropped the charges rather than pay for her extradition.

You can't post bail or anything. When I was in the military, I used to warn the guys about going AWOL because the same thing can happen. The military can take weeks, sometimes months, to send someone to pick your ass up and the whole time you are just in limbo, in a county lockup.

 

[Tar&FeatherFurrys]

Imagine being such a fat fucking nuisance to society that you get this much fucking heat while being extremely irrelevant to most of the happenings going on beyond being a massive fucking nuisance. I'm sure it'll be real fucking easy to find a half crippled midget retard like ralph, what with his Nintendo power glove and slovenly appearance. Wonder if he'll have as easy of an experience waving these charges off with his age old excuse-

Rage Pig: "I'm sorry ya honah, I'm dumb as fucking shit"

 

[Willie B. Hardigan]

♫ I don't wanna know your name
'Cause you don't meme the same
The way you did before
Okay, you think you got a civil case
But the rest of you is just disgraced
You streamed alright before

Gunt on the run
You squeal and everybody comes, a-logging
Take a run and hide yourself away
Gunt is on the run
F-fallin'
Gunt on the run
And hide away ♫

 

[NerdShamer]

Can any lawologists comment on potential consequences of ol' pig slits evading this warrant by hiding in Mexico?

Basically, aside from the unlikely event of the Mexican law enforcement agencies of actually doing their jobs, hardly much of anything else would happen.

Might lead to another charge of something else when the cops finally catches up to him, going by his driving habits.

 

[Grayback]

T-tax free...?

Even better—this airfare finna be TAXPAYER-FUNDED, BISH!

 

[Daddy's Angry Juice]

Could you imagine the piggy being transported in a prisoner plane, like con air.

It'd be great if he got raped by Johnny-23

 

[Haramburger]

Despite the feature being up for two days, the "nation-wide" didn't hit me until just now. That's crazy, effectively cock-blocking yourself on the child visitation grudge you had for ONE of your kids. All because you couldn't be bothered to write notes like the legal kiwis and wanted audio content for your 200 viewers. Everything that happens to you in life is your own fault you manlet piggy.

Thanks for televising all of it, retard. This must be what angels feel like reviewing someone's soul: Heaven has a Lolcow Division and I've been getting pre-trained watching this moron pigman crash his life into every possible obstacle.

 

[JudyTester]

>Another male answered who knows defendant.

"Is this Ralph?"
"I am not Ethan Ralph."

Or:

"Who am I speaking to?"
"-incoherent drunk sounds, none of which sound like 'Ethan' or 'Ralph'-"

 

[SandyCat]

Whats below rock bottom? What ever it is Ralph is in it deep.

 

[There Is Light At The End]

Whats below rock bottom? What ever it is Ralph is in it deep.

That would be magma ocean. And he keeps on digging

 

[Shopping Cart Nationalist]

I actually thought that wasn't legally possible considering the disproportionate gravity of most misdemeanors.

RALPHAMALE confirmed in same rarified legal status as Trump with novel criminal charges.

What will he do next, put out revenge porn of some Mexican latina?

Followed by his personal chainsaw be-heading video.
Also "Mexican latina" is redundant.

 

[Freezard]

Why is he so fucking stupid.
Don't answer that we'll be here all day.

 

[The Tall Man]

This is ridiculous.
There is no good reason to make recording a courtroom an offense in the first place.

#TaxFreeTheRalphamale

 

[chicken nugget]

View attachment 6633366

>Another male answered who knows defendant.

"Is this Ralph?"
"I am not Ethan Ralph."

Or:

"Who am I speaking to?"
"-incoherent drunk sounds, none of which sound like 'Ethan' or 'Ralph'-"

They should try communicating with Ralph via TTS superchats.

 

[x3firehexx]

Why are the feds going for him like he's ted kazinsky 2.0???
For a misdemeanor at that?

 

[grimacefetishist]

Active warrant: this guy's crack just stinks so bad that he's not even worth having around. Please just get him off of any street ASAP if you get the chance.

 

[genericwhitemale]

 

[mindlessobserver]

Honestly the correct play for Ralph is to just get on a flight out of Mexico to Minnesotta and face the music. Even at the absolute worst he's just looking at a few weeks in jail and if he willingly surrenders that would probably get suspended. Better to just get it over with willingly rather then force the State to go through the expense and annoyance of hauling his fat ass in.

 

[Just A Fat Round Bird]

So.. a nation wide hog hunt? You can't make this shit up.
but the ralphamale keeps winning, right?