Star Wars Griefing Thread (SPOILERS) - Safety off

[LORD IMPERATOR]

Hm, both Palpatine and Emperor had sensei in their earliest retconned forms.

It was retconned to Autism for the Emperor, and into clone sons for Palpatine to somehow make Rey his grand and actual daughter.

It is interesting how they were both made into "too busy plotting to woman chase".

Chad Vitiate on the other hand had a proper wife. His sons did the Horus so... but he at least got laid!

The funny thing is, both Vitiate and the EoM got Horus'd by their sons, but while the EoM lived in hell for 10K years, Vitiate was at most, inconvenienced in the same way someone stepping on dogshit would be. Sure, it's an annoyance, but he was more than OK living inside the Outlander.

As for the Emperor being overpowered, it was fine because he wasn't really used for anything. He was like Jesus in a game about the crusades. Mentioned but not showing up. He had no movie scenes where he didn't use powers he should have etc, his only scene was his epic duel with Horus.

It wasn't fine at all. It made no narrative purpose. If it all turns out that the Emperor's great feats were all a lie, nothing really changes. Not to mention that it makes no sense why the EOM didn't just warp-storm Horus' fleet or just subdue the kid with his immense power and exorcise him later. If he can subdue an entire Space Marine Legion and make them all kneel, one man, no matter how enhanced, would be no problem. Just beat him up enough to soften him up, then subdue the brat.

At least with Palpatine, he didn't use the Force Storm during the Battle of Endor because he believed his men had everything under control, and he was more pissed off with Luke telling him to get fucked. While on Coruscant, during the battle between the Separatist and Republic fleets, both sides were just stage actors in a play he crafted, so he had no need to act when both sides acted the way he wanted them to.

And if you removed Palpatine's OP status, then that would change the story drastically; even for the films. You wouldn't need for him to step onto a space station for the ENTIRE REBEL FLEET to blow up, nor would you need his right-hand man to kill him at the last second. Just break the piggy bank and hire a good assassin, and blow his brains out when he's speaking in public or relaxing in a vacation home or something. Maybe you can kill him Lincoln-style when he's off attending the opera, which we know is a hobby of his. You can even get a sympathetic Moff to have a couple dozen rebels be disguised as Stormtroopers when the Emperor is visiting to escort him, only for them to jump him and mass-fire on his ass, Order 66-style.

If Palpatine wasn't OP, then the last OT film was a big fucking waste of time and life. If anything, Palpatine being OP is not only in line with SW canon and the views of someone like Lucas who WROTE the three OT films to begin with, but it explains why the Rebels thought the only good way of killing him was having him step into a space station for them to blow up, or why it took Vader's last-minute betrayal to kill the old fart at the end.

But back to the topic, who will the next Bob be? Will they finally make KK the head of Disney?

I don't think so. I'm hearing rumors that it will be some guy from EA.

https://variety.com/2024/biz/news/disney-ceo-succession-ea-andrew-wilson-1236207653/

 

[Ghostse]

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Oh dear...

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oh no imagine my shock anyway.

The only project that has been pitched in recent memory that would stand a hope of success is the Rogue Squadron movie. But they have fucked themselves there.

You could have made a pretty Kino "Top Gun Laser" movie about the first real Rebellion space battle, but they fucked that by having (for no reason) the Tantive IV leave the battle of Scarif so you can't retell the original story of Torpawa, and they gave the "Rogue" name a super gay origin that ties it directly to the 30 minutes before the opening of ANH.

You can't set it in in the sequels because everything is fake and gay. You can't set it after the OT because the empire is fake and gay. You can't set it after the sequels for the same reason.

and that's before we deal with the fact they'd fuck it up with DEI bullshit.

 

[LORD IMPERATOR]

The only project that has been pitched in recent memory that would stand a hope of success is the Rogue Squadron movie. But they have fucked themselves there.

Really? I don't think there was even any hope for that project. Only Andor Season 2 has any chance of having any rapport with the fans, while the people waiting for the Filoniverse movie are just waiting for them to put that whole story line out of its misery after the flops of the Book of Boba Fatt, Mando Season 3, and Ahsoka.

You could have made a pretty Kino "Top Gun Laser" movie about the first real Rebellion space battle, but they fucked that by having (for no reason) the Tantive IV leave the battle of Scarif so you can't retell the original story of Torpawa, and they gave the "Rogue" name a super gay origin that ties it directly to the 30 minutes before the opening of ANH.

They basically had it so that Luke named Rogue Squadron after Jyn Erso's unit while Darth Vader's fleet was attacking some Rebel shindig. LOL.



But to be fair, even after they evacuated the Yavin base, they still didn't use the Rogue Squadron moniker. I seem to remember the earliest time they used that name in the old media was in the Battle of Hoth.

You can't set it in in the sequels because everything is fake and gay. You can't set it after the OT because the empire is fake and gay. You can't set it after the sequels for the same reason.

If anything, they might set it in between the OT films to mooch off a guy like Vader and have him run around and be the main attraction.

and that's before we deal with the fact they'd fuck it up with DEI bullshit.

I wonder how they would do that. Maybe the female pilots have better ideas that the male pilots put down? Or maybe a male squad leader takes credit for a female pilot downing a Star Destroyer?

 

[Mac Monster]

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Oh dear...

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The last Ice Age film came out in 2016 and bombed. It's pretty telling that the rat has more confidence in that series than any follow-up to their shitty sequels.

 

[Ghostse]

If anything, they might set it in between the OT films to mooch off a guy like Vader and have him run around and be the main attraction.

Dead honest having the first part of the movie be an assassination mission sent to ambush on Vader in his TIE and the entire squadron sent to get him getting blown the fuck out (except maybe one guy who escapes to be the shell shocked demoralized veteran who slowly comes to believe) would be kino as fuck. (Sort of like that Vader Horror comic with the over confident pilot but as a war movie not psychological horror).
No modern director/editor/corpofucks would do it right either, with Vader just taking them out in either complete silence/with minimum dialogue to their increasing panic as they drop like flies.

But the issue is: even if you have this hype opening, and use that mission to explain why Red Squadron is being sent to Top Laser school to become Rogue Squadron, what the fuck else could they do? There's really no room for other truly massive high-stakes targets in the OT, and if its low stakes - like liberating some planet or something that doesn't really matter - it makes the rest of the movie seem needlessly overwrought.

I wonder how they would do that. Maybe the female pilots have better ideas that the male pilots put down? Or maybe a male squad leader takes credit for a female pilot downing a Star Destroyer?

All that but include a They/Them, overly focus on feminism and the girlboss pilot. Basically make their self-inserts front and center instead of the missions and action. instead of "how does the squadron interrelate to each other, how do they come to mutual understanding" it would all about "How does the Squadron treat Girlboss and Tranny, how does Tranny and Girlboss pwn the haters, and how do they condescendingly portray their magnanimity when they interact with the other characters"

 

[LORD IMPERATOR]

Dead honest having the first part of the movie be an assassination mission sent to ambush on Vader in his TIE and the entire squadron sent to get him getting blown the fuck out (except maybe one guy who escapes to be the shell shocked demoralized veteran who slowly comes to believe) would be kino as fuck. (Sort of like that Vader Horror comic with the over confident pilot but as a war movie not psychological horror).
No modern director/editor/corpofucks would do it right either, with Vader just taking them out in either complete silence/with minimum dialogue to their increasing panic as they drop like flies.

And even if they did it right, it won't be a Rogue Squadron movie, but a Vader movie. I mean, it's like how every character in Rogue One became worthless when Vader showed up. Nobody gave a shit about Jyn Erso after Darth Vader kicked down the door and massacred the living shit out of that rebel warship's crew. It's the exact reason they left Luke out of most of TFA; because if he showed up in that film, people would automatically forget about Rey and Finn.

All that but include a They/Them, overly focus on feminism and the girlboss pilot. Basically make their self-inserts front and center instead of the missions and action. instead of "how does the squadron interrelate to each other, how do they come to mutual understanding" it would all about "How does the Squadron treat Girlboss and Tranny, how does Tranny and Girlboss pwn the haters, and how do they condescendingly portray their magnanimity when they interact with the other characters"

If they had any balls, they'd find a good actor to be the new recast Luke Skywalker, or make in an animated film where Luke, Wedge, and Crix Madine take charge and whip a bunch of yahoos into shape as the new Rogue Squadron, Sgt. Hartman-style. Then they would base the series on the missions you play in Rogue Squadrons 1, 2, and 3, from the N64 and Gamecube. That would make a great show.

But like I said, they'd only do it if they had any balls, and I highly doubt they have the cojones to do something like that. Honoring the past lore and making the fans happy? What year do you think this is? 2005?

 

[Gondolindrim]

Well, they did allow "remasters" of games of which arent canon to the main continuity so I dont think canon is the real issue to them. Unless they declare that it is canon now, wouldnt surprise me.

Yeah, I just wonder about the sheer whiplash of sudden;y introducing all this stuff that doesn't exist in Disney Wars or clumsily trying to insert Disney Wars shit into KOTOR. It would be a tonal mess, a war between concepts that aren't meant to exist together.

 

[Judge Holden]

So I went over to the star wars reddit to feed off some of the cope/bitter realisation of how right the evil nazi chuds were about their beloved product, and saw an old classic that is sadly underdiscussed in currentnow.

Back around the time of The Phantom Menace/Attack of the Clones one of the EU comic lines did a trilogy of "What if?" star wars stories, and the first one involved the Empire winning the battle of Yavin when Luke failed to blow up the Death Star, before fucking off on the run with Han and Chewie while Leia was taken as an apprentice/probable-coom-slave for the victorious Big Nigga Sheev

Long story short shit happens and Yoda winds up hijacking the Death Star during the climax of the story as it orbits Coruscant as part of some "We super-duper-won" celebration the Emperor is throwing, and then the lil green guy...well...



The punchline? Well....look at the release date for the final issue of this story...

 

[XYZpdq Jr.]

So I went over to the star wars reddit to feed off some of the cope/bitter realisation of how right the evil nazi chuds were about their beloved product, and saw an old classic that is sadly underdiscussed in currentnow.

Back around the time of The Phantom Menace/Attack of the Clones one of the EU comic lines did a trilogy of "What if?" star wars stories, and the first one involved the Empire winning the battle of Yavin when Luke failed to blow up the Death Star, before fucking off on the run with Han and Chewie while Leia was taken as an apprentice/probable-coom-slave for the victorious Big Nigga Sheev

Long story short shit happens and Yoda winds up hijacking the Death Star during the climax of the story as it orbits Coruscant as part of some "We super-duper-won" celebration the Emperor is throwing, and then the lil green guy...well...

View attachment 6653001

The punchline? Well....look at the release date for the final issue of this story...
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Ackbar Allah, nye~sss!

 

[William Murderface]

If Palpatine wasn't OP, then the last OT film was a big fucking waste of time and life. If anything, Palpatine being OP is not only in line with SW canon and the views of someone like Lucas who WROTE the three OT films to begin with, but it explains why the Rebels thought the only good way of killing him was having him step into a space station for them to blow up, or why it took Vader's last-minute betrayal to kill the old fart at the end.

I think you have it backwards. The Rebel objective was taking out DS2 at Endor before it was operational, while it was still under construction. Taking out the Emperor was just added in as a bonus once they found out he was going to be there, but killing him was never the primary goal. If they could kill him, great. If he got away, that sucks, but so long as DS2 was out of the picture before it came online was the important thing.

 

[LORD IMPERATOR]

I think you have it backwards. The Rebel objective was taking out DS2 at Endor before it was operational, while it was still under construction. Taking out the Emperor was just added in as a bonus once they found out he was going to be there, but killing him was never the primary goal. If they could kill him, great. If he got away, that sucks, but so long as DS2 was out of the picture before it came online was the important thing.

Uh, no. The Emperor 's presence was the main reason why the Rebellion launched that attack. They even noted that the Emperor's presence is a unique opportunity. If he got away, the DS2's destruction would be inconsequential; the Emperor would just summon reinforcements and squash the Rebels. Killing the Emperor, the central figure of all Imperial power, was mission priority, robbing the Empire of another toy is the bonus.

Especially since if the Emperor was still alive, he could easily order the construction of a third Death Star, and the Rebels wouldn't know it. Hell, the only reason the Rebels knew of the second Death Star was because the Emperor leaked the plans-including the fact that he was going to be there in person. The Emperor could've just chosen NOT to leak it, and the Rebels wouldn't know about it until it starts vaporizing planets left and right.

Meanwhile, if the Emperor is dead, the political chaos alone would help the Rebellion far more than the destruction of another fancy toy. Imperial unity will shatter, and the warlords, Moffs, generals, and admirals will start fighting each other, and the Empire would be too divided for them to focus on making a third Death Star, let alone fighting against the Rebellion. In fact, that's how the Rebels seized control of the galaxy; the Emperor died, the Imperials started fighting each other, and the Rebels only needed to pick off enough of the survivors of the gruesome aftermath for them to establish their regime. By the time Thrawn showed up, half the galaxy was in Rebel hands.

The Rebels, obviously, wanted the Rebellion to spread. But as Empire Strikes Back painfully showed, a unified Empire is still perfectly capable of kicking their asses, even without a Death Star. If the second Death Star was destroyed, but the Emperor got away and survived, the Rebellion would be right back to where they were during the Battle of Hoth: playing a losing game of Cowboys and Indians with the Emperor. Nothing would've been achieved, and for all they know, the Emperor could just order another Death Star, since he was more than capable of replacing the first without the outside world knowing.

The best way to spread the Rebellion is to shatter the Imperial system by killing the man holding everything together; a divided Empire will be far less capable of stopping the spread of rebellion than a unified Empire would. And the Rebel leaders definitely knew that, since they took full advantage of the Imperial infighting that occurred AFTER the Battle of Endor. Forcing the Empire to go full Crisis of the Third Century by killing its leader and causing all the big dogs to start fighting over the throne was a necessary step in the Rebellion's march to victory.

 

[The handsome tard]

Yeah, I just wonder about the sheer whiplash of sudden;y introducing all this stuff that doesn't exist in Disney Wars or clumsily trying to insert Disney Wars shit into KOTOR. It would be a tonal mess, a war between concepts that aren't meant to exist together.

It would be a mess but hey, we are not spiteful or apathetic disney/lucas executives.

 

[Mississippi Motorboater]

A thought I've been having lately about the KOTOR remake is how the hell was it supposed to work? Disney's long since declared the Old Republic era as a no go for writers and they hate to acknowledge races and concepts that weren't introduced in the sequels. Were they planning to rename Tatooine to Jakku?

I don't remember if it was Leland Chee or Pablo Hidalgo that disclosed this, but some spokesperson at LFL basically said that the KOTOR Remake would be set in the old Expanded Universe Timeline (or "Legends", if you're a Mouse Coomer), not in the Disney Timeline.

Which I would say poses the chance of screwing with the continuity of the old lore, but given how there's basically no new stories being written for that timeline by the current Disney Regime (thank fucking Christ), it won't affect any ongoing plotlines or stories set after KOTOR.

You could effectively just ignore the remake entirely and stick to the original game's events, which is what I'm planning to do.

 

[Screamer_2]

Some light amusement may be found.

 

[Clyde Cash's Left Teste]

Some light amusement may be found.

I still have a fondness for Jedi Rocks. Also the ending montage of Jedi is better with all the planets at the end.

I think with the Prequels, all I would have done would be to update the CGI and stuff. Also add an extra Jedi death to the Order 66 sequence

 

[Male Idiot]

To add to the long list of "stuff in prequel films that is only properly explained in external materials/sources":

Apparently, what Palpatine looks like after the Mace Windu fight is his real face. He had used a Sith technique simply called "Mask" to hide it. The force lightning reflected back to him not only shed the disguise, but due to some unspecified complexity of the technique, it also prevents him from ever reapplying it again. So he plays it off with the famous/infamous "The attempt on my life has left me scarred and deformed" -line.

Again, it just feels like unnecessary meddling.

Palpatine gets his face scarred. Rhymes like poetry.

Or

Palpatine's disguise self is taken off and somehow, for some reason he can't reapply it. For reasons. Some reasons. Why? Farting noises.

Or his scrote face could have been him being what, 90 by the time he was shown in ep5-6. That would have worked too.

As for 40k spergery, the Emperor is stuck in his place because if he has to keep the hellgate behind it closed, if he fails, Eye of Terror 2.0 happens. Older (mid editions) lore stated that it would make the entire universe get swallowed into the Warp in a total Chaos W.

 

[LORD IMPERATOR]

Palpatine's disguise self is taken off and somehow, for some reason he can't reapply it. For reasons. Some reasons. Why? Farting noises.

You're more ignorant than I thought. The film explained this quite thoroughly.

In the film, Palpatine talks to the Senate about how the Jedi attack scarred and deformed him, but that his resolve had never been stronger. From that point on, he bore that scar as a point of pride. As in "those fuckers tried to kill me, look what they did to my face, but I'm still here, and I'm not backing down."

Sure, he could've used sorcery to cover his disfigurement, or pay a good plastic surgeon to fix his face, but why bother? He used that scarred face as a propaganda tool. Both to show how vulnerable and fragile he is, just like any human being, but that he doesn't let that keep him down, showing that he's willing to take a slap in the face for the sake of his beliefs. He bore that ragged face with pride, and made sure that all his statues had that face as well.

The fact that you missed this obvious explanation goes to show me that you weren't paying attention to the films.

As for 40k spergery, the Emperor is stuck in his place because if he has to keep the hellgate behind it closed, if he fails, Eye of Terror 2.0 happens. Older (mid editions) lore stated that it would make the entire universe get swallowed into the Warp in a total Chaos W.

That's what the Imperial propaganda machine says. But the humans during the Dark Age of Technology did fine without him. They explored the galaxy and colonized worlds left and right. And that was after the Eldar gave birth to a hentai god through a galaxy wide orgy, since the more advanced humans rose to power long after the Eldar fell due to Slaanesh. So Chaos existed as a problem at the time, but it wasn't a problem that the Ancient humans were unable to tackle without the False Emperor. They were perfectly able to keep Chaos at bay, and it was their own machinery that led to their downfall.

 

[Midwit]

That's what the Imperial propaganda machine says. But the humans during the Dark Age of Technology did fine without him.

But they didn't have to deal with Magnus ripping a hole into the webway 2.0 which spews a constant stream of daemons right into the Imperial Palace.

 

[LORD IMPERATOR]

TCW fanboyism is pretty strong in the fandom, to the point where they're remaking movie scenes with TCW graphics and models.

But they didn't have to deal with Magnus ripping a hole into the webway 2.0 which spews a constant stream of daemons right into the Imperial Palace.

And whose fault is it that Magnus even exists? I mean, even the Jedi didn't have such a bad track record of having half of all Space Marines and Primarchs going rogue. At most, you had several periods of Jedi going rogue, but most Jedi in the Republic's 25,000-year history lived and died as loyal Republic subjects. Which, the same cannot be said for Space Marines and Primarchs.

 

[Male Idiot]

I don't think he knows about the webway boogaloo. Also forgets that the Horus Heresy happened without the marines knowing what Chaos is. After the heresy, they turn traitor rather rarely.

But the analogue is flawed to begin with, Sw eu Jedi and Sith started out as a "both sides" order that split, Jedi won, and had to later always contend with various darksiders. So they knew both sides from the beginning, and later ditched the dark.
Don't know if that is still true with Disney mucking about, but well Disney is retarded. Don't really care. Disney just shits out whatever they want. I feel like if they went for Veggietales instead of gendertales you would love it.

So it wasn't really one side being taitors. It was an ideological split, Jedi don't need to be the republic's cops by default.

But my point is that something wasn't needed. Palpatine smartly exploiting his scarring vs just revealing his True and Honest Palpgender face is the same amount of manipulation.

But him turning getting wounded by Windu into pity points makes him more cunning. He rolled with the blow and came up on top because he is just that smart.

Him exploiting getting his own ass kicked is exactly the sly shit one would expect from one of the most manipulative and cunning Sith ever.

This is the same bad writing as happens with TLJ/TRS and primarchs. Well no, but akshually yes, but we added 20 unnecessary steps.

Rayray is a nobody, her parents were nobodies, but akshually his grandpapa is Palpatine so totally not nobody. But so hecking le epic twists you guys! So clever! So subversive! Give me my soymilk!

I hate subversive writing so much.