Nefco 2024 - Bios Statement
Pre-NEFCO: Prior to this year's event, I and multiple others involved in organizing the campout had become concerned with Hearth's behavior in the group chat, in particular their advertising of their site as clothing-optional, despite the park being open to and accessible by the public. While I felt their conduct on their site was ultimately their decision, I understood and shared these concerns given the context of the event. In light of these concerns, along with increased attendance numbers, I chose to introduce a limited leadership structure to the event, including an EMS/safety team and a small security team, only to be utilized if absolutely necessary. However, the goal of the event did not change; one and all were welcome, and at the end of the day, people were individually responsible for their own behavior.
Friday Afternoon: Once Hearth (and I believe Mars) arrive, I helped them unpack, cut a broom from a tree to help sweep their platform, donated some of my tent stakes for their tent, and let them borrow my Sawzall to cut a dead tree to use as firewood. I then asked if they were all set, as I felt I was no longer wanted on the site, and wanted to give them their space. Because their site was almost directly adjacent to mine, I told them to let me know if there was anything else they needed. Hearth said they were good, and I left.
Friday Evening: Later in the evening, Sniper approached me while having an apparent anxiety attack, and pulled me aside to talk it through. According to him, he had gone to Hearth's site and been told to leave; he was then asked for a hug, but was then again told to leave, and was confused and upset by the situation. I had not known Sniper long, and was only hearing one version of events, but I did my best to calm him down, and advised him to steer clear, give Hearth their space, and to spend time at other sites instead. Meanwhile, someone else from my site went to check in on Hearth and discuss the situation with them. Not long after, while I was busy tending to my site, another attendee came to me with concerns about naked people on a site, motioning toward Hearth's. I did not want to intrude on Hearth's site, and was unsure how to go about handling the situation, but advised the attendee to ignore them for now, and to avoid that area if necessary.
Late Friday Night: Despite these issues, I had been venturing around the campground throughout the night to check in with others and hang out, eventually returning to my site around midnight. As the fire had died down, I prepared to start cutting firewood. Others (including Hearth) had since gathered around my site, talking amongst themselves, so I prepped in my usual spot, at a separate unoccupied table. This was the exact spot I had used multiple times that evening, during the two days prior, and even during past campouts when Hearth was hosted on my site. I did not hear or see any objections to this until after several logs were cut, by which point Hearth (sitting at another table) was visibly upset with me, loudly and dramatically standing up and storming off. At this point, I noticed the commotion and started walking toward Hearth, calling out their name, upset by their behavior but hoping to have a discussion about what had gone wrong. They responded by running to their site and screaming incoherently back at me. At this point I did raise my voice, saying something to the effect of "Hearth, what the fuck? If you're going to act like this, you're not welcome on my site". I kept my distance, but continued trying to respond to them as they screamed at me, firmly telling them to calm down and breathe; meanwhile, they were shouting at me to fuck off, that I'm acting like a psycho, that I think I'm a god, and that I'm arrogant and "think I know everything". One or two other attendees from my site had followed behind us, and were placing themselves between myself and Hearth, but to be clear, there was absolutely no physical contact made, or any intention to engage physically on my part. As Hearth was still screaming and now saying they were calling 911, it was clear they were not going to be reasoned with, and my presence there was not helping the situation. I turned away and walked back up the road, again telling them firmly that they were not welcome back to my site.
Late Friday Police Interactions: After 10-15 minutes on my site, I saw two police cruisers approach our corner of the campground, and heard "Which one of you is Dan?" I got up to greet the officer, and we stepped aside to a quiet spot to discuss what had happened. I relayed this exact story to him, and I also let him know that he may want to be mindful of Hearth's and other's pronouns when interacting with them. The officer mentioned that Hearth had been highly emotional and borderline combative before giving their statement. The officer asked if I chased them with a saw or threatened them, to which I said no. He asked if he could interview any witness, and I told him to take his pick; by now there were upwards of 15 people nearby, many of whom had been present for the entire situation. Another attendee offered to give a statement, the officers concluded there was nothing to be done on their part, and they went on their way. Note: I have since called the sheriff's office in an attempt to gather any documentation they may be able to provide, but was told that because the call was so minor and no fault was found, a report was never written.
Saturday Morning: Around 9 AM, I left my tent and began walking down the road to use the bathroom and to visit with friends on a site further down the hill. The road brought me past Hearth's site, but wanting to avoid confrontation, I kept to the opposite side and did not engage. Hearth was still there and, upon seeing me, started yelling at me to leave them alone and calling me a psycho. I continued on my way, not engaging, and by the time they were done shouting, I was already well past their site. After about 20 minutes, from a friend's site at the bottom of the hill, I saw them pack up their car and drive away, followed soon after by more officers on quads doing a round through the campground. Despite an occasional cruiser or quad doing rounds throughout the day, however, the rest of the weekend went by without incident.
By Sunday evening, I had returned home from the event and regained phone/internet access. Between packing up, driving, and unpacking, I hadn't yet had a chance to see what had been written about the weekend's events, let alone respond to any of the allegations being made. That night (and into the next day), Hearth took it upon themselves to message me through an alternate account (@Tarot_Teeth). They chose to leave multiple hateful and slanderous comments on several of my posts, at least once referring to themselves in the third person. Worst of all, they chose to weaponize the death of somebody who was beloved by the community, someone I considered a loved one, and someone who I have missed dearly since they passed.
Despite them harassing me and attempting to bait me into responding, I chose not to engage, and these posts and messages were deleted not long after. In the meantime, though, the doorway to any sort of civil discussion had been slammed shut. Regardless of any perceived missteps on my part, regardless of how I could have done things differently, I would never dream of saying something like this to another person. I couldn't imagine hatefully baiting someone with a person who meant the world to them, and whose absence is felt every day. This is beyond a disagreement, beyond being yelled at, far beyond an utter lack of empathy or compassion. This is not the Hearth I thought I knew.
