Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[Doctor of Autism]

He has the brain of a peanut

 

[Adamska]

Jesus fuck that Seafood chili was horrible. On each level Jack managed to find a way to fuck this up. He fucked up by his choice to use Calamari as a component, which will almost always result in it just tasting like fish rubber. He throws in all that goddamn salt from the sauce and more cinnamon than the fucking chili powder too, which is horrid. Also GODDAMN GELATIN! FUCKING ANIMAL COLLAGEN FOR THIS SHITSHOW.

Then there's the ash tray fish, the curdled cream from the heat, and the random choice of Italian seasoning but no cumin. And he had the audacity to flatly lie about this shit being amazing too at the end of this.

That more than anything is proof positive that he only recognizes texture and very extreme flavors at this point IMO.

And fuck me but this has to be the worst one yet. Once again just dumping way too much seasoning including lethal amounts of cinnamon. What is the fascination he has with cinnamon recently? You could see he was trying not to dump too much in but like the mushbrain he is instead of using a measuring spoon or something he just shakes it until more comes out than it should.

I almost suspect that he's hate-reading the thread or having Jr. do it for him since he's been doubling down on it since we've brought it up as a flavor element.

The mentioning of mint in particular was a tell, since I specifically brought that fucker up when I talked about making a greek chili.

All I know is I expect this fucker to absolutely fail at making a Texan style Chili con Carne if that's what the finale to this horrible idea is. I hope he tries to do that; I want him to absolutely fuck that one up.

 

[Spasticus Autisticus]

He has the brain of a peanut

View attachment 6676523

It's even worse.



It's been a while since we've had another one of Jack's insightful knife reviews. I wonder if he's going to tell us that a bread knife can be used to slice a tomato!

 

[The Stranger]

It's even worse.

View attachment 6676586

It's been a while since we've had another one of Jack's insightful knife reviews. I wonder if he's going to tell us that a bread knife can be used to slice a tomato!

Boomers buying cheap crap that's made to look expensive never fails to amuse me. "Ooohhh it's Damascus made from German steel" (in China). Congratulations, you got a bunch of knives made out of pot steel and pig iron and for only $50!

 

[Hot CILF in your area]

SEAFOOD CHILI - (CARNIVORE SAFE)
(11/22/2024)

Original:

Spoiler: Local Archive (480p):

View attachment 6674954

"Each fish is gonna get a pinch of...garlic"

one jump cut later

This looks like something you could find pixelated in some game to indicate a grisly crime scene.

Spoiler: Different cow, same skill

Don't know how many of you look at our deathfats, but I'm getting...nostalgic.
ALR's Salmon:


Truly two master's at their craft of smothering fish in spices.

Also lmao at him recommending this with some crusty, hard bread, as if he himself could eat hard bread by this point without choking on it.
And I see that dead arm jiggle when he's adding the garlic like some LEGO figure that's been run over.

 

[Uber driver reviewer]

He has the brain of a peanut

View attachment 6676523

BLAGG FRIDAY

 

[AltisticRight]

It's even worse.

View attachment 6676586

It's been a while since we've had another one of Jack's insightful knife reviews. I wonder if he's going to tell us that a bread knife can be used to slice a tomato!

Yet another set of cheap garbage knives that he'll throw away once it gets dull.

 

[ddlloo]

Do you think Jack is capable of feeling shame?

This is a serious question.

 

[Super Hans v2]

Do you think Jack is capable of feeling shame?

This is a serious question.

Yes. If he wasn't, he wouldn't be bullshitting us about his gimmick diets or his failed scams like the Jackoff Pack. It's just that he's too stupid to realize he's a mongoloid and everybody sees right through his lies.

 

[ddlloo]

Yes. If he wasn't, he wouldn't be bullshitting us about his gimmick diets or his failed scams like the Jackoff Pack. It's just that he's too stupid to realize he's a mongoloid and everybody sees right through his lies.

See, I don't think that's because of shame. I think he just sees being called out as 'hate' so he's making the 'haters' shut up. It's like how when he gets called out on something on live stream he sarcastically says "thanks MOM!". He's not ashamed at lying, having lard for brains, destroying his own body, or even his own behaviour towards others. Jack is right because jack is a good christian, the others are just mad/jealous/idiots/haters because they are bad people and probably own an electric vehicle. Most of the lies he tells about his diets or product reviews and shit, I honestly think he just thinks that lying for your brand is how you play the youtube and social media game so it's ok.

Or maybe it is all rooted in shame, but his defence mechanisms just translate it as anger because otherwise he'd have to face the fact that God wouldn't even pity him as he sends jack to hell.

 

[Marc]

I sometimes wonder if we're just watching some elaborate backstory for how Slimer from Ghostbusters came to be.

All I know is I expect this fucker to absolutely fail at making a Texan style Chili con Carne if that's what the finale to this horrible idea is. I hope he tries to do that; I want him to absolutely fuck that one up.

Will it be an "AI-generated" Texas chili con carne recipe, or will Jack just throw a bunch of watery slop together in a pressure cooker for the forty fourth time and lie about it, before lying about it tasting "like a home run" while pretending he can stand?

lmao at him recommending this with some crusty, hard bread, as if he himself could eat hard bread by this point without choking on it.

I laughed imagining the jump cut from a sourdough round to a pile of crust shreds and crumbs after Tammy cut the bread for him. You're absolutely right about the guy who eats steak like a duck not being able to eat bread like one.

 

[Falcon Sebben]

Aren't anchovies typically tinned in olive oil or water? Anchovies alone are strong as hell, I think if you put them in fish sauce you'd kill someone.

Fish sauce itself is just anchovies, water, sugar and salt. Sometimes I've seen sardines as part of the ingredients. And yes anchovies are strong tasting so you only use a bit. Or do what I do, use anchovy paste. It keeps much longer and you can control how much you use.

You don't use a lot of it. Just a smidge but it can make a huge difference. This is why when using fish sauce you use a couple dashes of it. Too much and it overpowers everything.

But the absolute best use of anchovies? Bagna Cauda. It's a hot dip like a fondue and it really only has four ingredients. They are:

• butter
• EVOO
• garlic
• anchovies

You serve it warm and dip veggies into it, dab on a piece of bread before eating then later on eat the bread. Or just dip the bread into it. Even if you hate anchovies you'll love this because it doesn't taste fishy. Okay there's a mild fishy taste there but the flavor is incredible. Serve with a robust red wine. You need something with backbone and structure that can stand up to the flavors without being overpowered.

I almost suspect that he's hate-reading the thread or having Jr. do it for him since he's been doubling down on it since we've brought it up as a flavor element.

The mentioning of mint in particular was a tell, since I specifically brought that fucker up when I talked about making a greek chili.

That makes perfect sense. Add way too much cinnamon to a dish which makes it inedible in order to show us up and then eat it as a kind of "fuck you". Fatty sure showed us. Eating horrible food and acting as if he likes it.

It's even worse.

View attachment 6676586

It's been a while since we've had another one of Jack's insightful knife reviews. I wonder if he's going to tell us that a bread knife can be used to slice a tomato!

A $130 knife set? Yeah that's not some Chinesium level garbage knives at all.

Knife sets are the worst. Half of them you never use and those you do use tend to get dull super fast because they're cheap as fuck. These ones here? They're not Damascus steel. They were probably etched.

 

[AnOminous]

It's been a while since we've had another one of Jack's insightful knife reviews. I wonder if he's going to tell us that a bread knife can be used to slice a tomato!

Knife reviews are dumb especially of a knife set you just got. Even cheap junk usually starts out sharp. Does it keep its sharpness over regular use, though? If it loses it, how quickly? Can it be easily sharpened back to almost as good as new?

This looks like something you could find pixelated in some game to indicate a grisly crime scene.

It looks like a rotted zombie's chest.

Yes. If he wasn't, he wouldn't be bullshitting us about his gimmick diets or his failed scams like the Jackoff Pack. It's just that he's too stupid to realize he's a mongoloid and everybody sees right through his lies.

Or pretending his dead arm actually works. Or having Hammy do all the actual work on his videos but never having her on screen or thanking her because that would be admitting to being the stroked out retarded gimp he is.

Fish sauce itself is just anchovies, water, sugar and salt.

The Italian colatura di alici, sort of the gold standard for fish sauces of the region, is just anchovies and salt, sometimes water.

 

[Gentlebastard]

Ah, dropping fish on the garage floor to get that classic brake dust/exhaust soot/rat shit seasoning combo that all the top chefs crave. I've been wrong about Jack all this time, he's clearly a culinary genius.

 

[The Decimator]

I’m watching an old Godzilla movie with my dad on a channel called ChimeTV, and they keep showing commercials with some guy reacting to one of Jack’s videos.

 

[ZipDisk]

That's just grim, they even used an ice cream scoop for that sphere of lard. How creative!

In ancient times when jack was regularly hitting strip mall specials, Someone commented that when restaurants see fuckers like the scalfattis waddle through the door they know they have to over portion to prevent bitching. This steakhouse just said "fuck it, get the ice cream scoop."

What the fuck is he on about

I love when Jack gets slapped for spamming, It's one of the few remaining times we get to see him lose his shit.

ChimeTV

CLIP IT!

 

[Doctor of Autism]

More context on the admin NATZI thing



Sportsball talk



Jack makes AI slop

 

[Ghost Noob]

"Each fish is gonna get a pinch of...garlic"
View attachment 6676756
one jump cut later
View attachment 6676757
This looks like something you could find pixelated in some game to indicate a grisly crime scene.

Spoiler: Different cow, same skill

Don't know how many of you look at our deathfats, but I'm getting...nostalgic.
ALR's Salmon:
View attachment 6676768
View attachment 6676792
Truly two master's at their craft of smothering fish in spices.

Also lmao at him recommending this with some crusty, hard bread, as if he himself could eat hard bread by this point without choking on it.
And I see that dead arm jiggle when he's adding the garlic like some LEGO figure that's been run over.

Did porky season this shit with black mold?!?

 

[Seymour Duncan]

It's even worse.

View attachment 6676586

It's been a while since we've had another one of Jack's insightful knife reviews. I wonder if he's going to tell us that a bread knife can be used to slice a tomato!

14 strips of recycled Volkswagen doors with a "Damascus style" stencil printed on top in some chink sweatshop? Sign me up, lemme just toss this shithouse $70 knife I've been using for everything for years!

 

[The Grimace]

BLAGG FRIDAY View attachment 6677122

oh hell naw jack's bitmoji died from a heart attack