Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

When will Jack drop dead?

  • February-March 2024

    Votes: 6 0.4%
  • April-May 2024

    Votes: 6 0.4%
  • June-July 2024

    Votes: 18 1.3%
  • August-September 2024

    Votes: 34 2.5%
  • October-November 2024

    Votes: 37 2.7%
  • December 2024

    Votes: 44 3.2%
  • Sometime in 2025

    Votes: 258 18.7%
  • Sometime in 2026

    Votes: 194 14.1%
  • Jack lives forever. The Wendigo Must Consoom

    Votes: 782 56.7%

  • Total voters
    1,379
View attachment 6709131
the fuck? the longer I look at this the less it makes sense.
I think it's the combination of
  • Huge bendy thumb
  • The other fingers are comparatively small
  • His palm seems to congeal into a blob
  • His right arm has any motor function at all
Also the pose he's standing at is somewhat reminiscent of that iconic image where he tried to make people believe God restored his gimp arm.
 
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His gunt reached critical mass and is starting to split down the middle into two mini-gunts. Gunt mitosis. Thankfully with this new carnivore diet he will lose so much weight!
 
View attachment 6709131
the fuck? the longer I look at this the less it makes sense.
It's like a retarded pixar style knock off of a character from a cartoon based on the matrix that never happened.
I think it's the combination of
  • Huge bendy thumb
  • The other fingers are comparatively small
  • His palm seems to congeal into a blob
  • His right arm has any motor function at all
Also the pose he's standing at is somewhat reminiscent of that iconic image where he tried to make people believe God restored his gimp arm.
Don't forget the weirdly skinny shoulder, and then giant poofy sleeve on the forearm.
 
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Jack has a new gadget to play with

View attachment 6708185
Oh good, more Chinesium garbage that can cause a house fire. Also this is comedically pointless, since Jack's fake and gay diet precludes him from eating this shit.

Not to mention we've seen how angy he gets when the crust develops any form of char; this purchase is worthless even to him. It's like when he admits he hated when grandma put eggs in the spaghetti but fucking did that to his chili anyway. It's impulse and instinct at this point to buy shitty products.
View attachment 6709621
His gunt reached critical mass and is starting to split down the middle into two mini-gunts. Gunt mitosis. Thankfully with this new carnivore diet he will lose so much weight!
Oh no it's lamer than that. He uses his gunt as a kickstand because his most recent stroke took away his ability to stay stable or stand without support. He's doing that specifically to hide out of pride how crippled he actually made himself. It's funny given he also willingly had an entire saga where he was seated in a scooty-puff incorrectly when he shredded his tendons from waddling a mile.
 
I'm legit feeling a tad bad about hate watching jack. i can't explain it but that more recent video where he has the ice cream scoop of butter on a cheap steak, made me realize that he probably is doing that just to eat the steak and thats just so fucking sad. bro is legit dying, and im just watching this white trash melt away everyday. I legit just found it so depressing. Although the gross ass chili has kinda bumped up my anger and reminded me of his stupidity and uselessness again lol
I'm in the same boat. I used to watch nearly every non podcast Jack video and other than some special exceptions I barely do anymore. I keep up with his goings on by reading this thread. He's such a sad, pathetic shell of a man at this point that death will be a mercy. I can't watch him gargle and cough and slurp down whatever wretched slop he makes week after week anymore. This thread is entertaining enough reading yalls commentary on his videos.
 
There's a video from a few years ago where he and Tammy are excitedly talking about wanting to glass Palestinians with some other evangelicals. Jack couldn't care less about who those people are, their history, or whether he's also talking about innocent children that have no say in the politics unfolding there being destroyed. He just understands that Israel is gud and any enemy of Israel deserves pain and death. He's a stupid, incurious, callous man who bumbled his way into a wealthier, more charmed life than 99% of humans will ever experience. While hundreds of Palestinian orphans are huddled up in leaking, dirty tents Jack is stuffing his face with meat, the most resource-intensive food available, and watching the worst Hallmark channel dreck.

Nobody should ever feel sorry for him, you should either feel disgust at his views and attitude or envy him ideally. He's never burdened with the self-awareness to wonder if anything he's doing is wrong or disgusting or if he isn't living his best life because of his decisions. On his last day he's going to wake up, assume the birds outside are singing because Jesus sent them to fill his day with beauty, eat a gallon of animal and dairy fat, and keel over in his wheelchair content as a neutered fat housecat.
oh I know all that lol I have been a hatewatcher since all the way back when /ck/ first found him. extra hate him too because he pretends to be a christian. I guess I sometimes just see this literal dying man and his shit wife enabling him to his grave that I can't help feel a little bad. Its like seeing roadkill but not as sad. I actually really hate him for his abuse on jr tbh. You can tell in his older videos when he was just a kid that jack was fucking rude and probably a big white trash bully to him. and of course choking his own son.
 
Because autism stroke brain, of course.

Mac and cheese burger sounds gross. A good burger is about ratios - the meat, salad and bread need to all be in the right amounts. Shoving a scoop of carbs onto it is unneeded and will fuck the delicate burger balance. Just make a normal cheese burger, god damn.

Yeah it sounds nasty but it probably sells which is why they offer it.

Ameri'burgers must consoom new borger!
It’s perfect burger for when you’re drunk, hungry enough you’d eat a horse, hungry enough to eat like a horse, absolutely hate yourself, or stopped giving a fuck ages ago. Sounds perfect for somebody like Jack Scalfani.
No, they are more a team known for choking in the playoffs lately. They've made the playoffs the past few years and a couple of times in the decade before that.

They had that insane run the 90s, too. Lions have been inept for decades now, with only 1 playoff win since like 1993 or some time around then. Browns and lions are the lol-tier teams in the NFL
Also, don’t forget Jerry Jones. A stubborn, power hungry, egotistical old fart who needs to have things his way , fuck the highway.

I can see why Jack would love a guy like this.
 
Considering all the shit he buys, this is not a surprise.
But he GETS those things from the makers because he's such a good Youtuber. I mean he SAID so and since we all know lying is a sin and he's all about being a true and honest Christian that means he got them for free.

Instead the credit card bills are for his Grindr account.
 
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