Quinton Reviews / Quinton Kyle Hoover / Q_Review / OttselSpy24 / OttselSpy25 - I KNOW WE HIT THE LIMIT FOR ME TO DO THEM, BUT THOSE THINGS TAKE TIME, NOW SHUT UP AND LET ME TALK ABOUT GARFIELD AND MCDONALDS, WHILE MOCKING OTHER YOUTUBERS!!

[Rotollo 2]

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Tales from the Quew: So, here's the thing.
After trying (and failing) to stay offline for the sake of his mental health and reputation, Qoomrade Quinton can't resist the urge to barge in and wakes up in Trump's America. A land of mischief and hate where working class folks and illegal aliens seem more excited for the next 4 years than he will ever be. Quinton Kyle Hoover gave his own side bad mojo after flashing his hairy ballsack on a YouTube short, he earned this future.
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Here's to the next 4 years of shitposting and the 10 years he will age by the next time. This is to you who stuck around and those that will join us on the way. I toast to future US President Joshua Conner Moon of the Sneed's (formerly Chuck's) Party.

this is the meltdown I was excited for, i expect Quinton's video productivity to nose dive due to his nemesis, orange man, returning

 

[The Blue Morpho]

It has been so long since I've checked up on Quinton. Good on him for starting to get into shape but also it would be funny if the election result causes him to stress eat, stop exercising and lose all his progress.

 

[Chilson]

It has been so long since I've checked up on Quinton. Good on him for starting to get into shape but also it would be funny if the election result causes him to stress eat, stop exercising and lose all his progress.

He has lost a decent amount of weight, then gained it all back and more at least 3 times now. Its not a matter of if he puts the weight back on, but when.

 

[Hal]

https://x.com/hayasaka_aryan/status/1854382683973198079?s=46

 

[Blue Gem Kosher Queen]

The Kiwi Farms wants to personally congratulate Mr. Jonathan Tron of the Racist Gamers Party for his projected return as US President. Current Veep, Wendaiah Goon, has refused to make any statements as he is working on his Rebuilding Appalachia Project alongside Asheville representative Zane Whitener. May their administration usher 4 years of stonks and lulz for sneeders of all kinds.

 

[Dirk Dinkum]

Quinton documents his training arc on Bluesky.


Thin Quentin era is upon us. Are you ready ladies?


Thoughts?

 

[Fag Alert Major Fag Alert]

Quinton documents his training arc on Bluesky.
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Thin Quentin era is upon us. Are you ready ladies?

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Thoughts?

He’s going to fuck it up somehow

 

[Blue Gem Kosher Queen]

If he manages to slim down and starts acting like a prick again, we are officially experiencing a re-run.
History doesn't repeat itself but it often rhymes.

 

[The Grimace]

Imagine if he gets fit and then "mysteriously" stops liking breadtube slop shortly after.

 

[Gloria The Glorious]

If he manages to slim down and starts acting like a prick again, we are officially experiencing a re-run.
History doesn't repeat itself but it often rhymes.

QBert VS Philion Arc when?

 

[Blue Gem Kosher Queen]

Wondering why you are single.

 

[Chilson]

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Wondering why you are single.

As if having a bluesky account wasn't enough of a red flag.

 

[Dirk Dinkum]

 

[Fag Alert Major Fag Alert]

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This is getting out of hand—now he’s joining the furry mafia.

 

[Blue Gem Kosher Queen]

Since this the season of archiving, I check Q's Twitter and I find that he was really proud of his pick-up line since he posted it there too and that he was in Disney Dan's podcast a week ago. In case you couldn't tell, he also is a manchild Q likes enough to follow even in his lurker account.

New @Zygon Penis pfp material.

In honour of our Anisa sisters, I shall summarize this for your amusement because you fuckers won't see it yourselves.

• Dan introduces Quinton by saying that his videos are as long as the time you are forced to spend with your toxic family during Thanksgiving.
• Quinton: 'I swear on God, I thought Garfield could fly'. Silence. Disney Dan, chuckle man does his thing. Even at 1.75 Quinton sounds slow af.
• When asked why he became a Garfield lore master, Quinton adds a new layer to his dad's lore by saying that he would go to the family porch, Garfield omnibus in hand, and chuckle by himself. Quinton adds that YouTube is the main reason he latched so hard to Garfield, as he needed a gimmick and pushed it so hard he developed a crippling hoarding addiction.
• 6 minutes in the great consoomer question comes about 'what is your holy grail?'. Through sheer coincidence, Quinton found a guy in FB Marketplace selling a 5-foot Garfield mannequin Dan talked about in a video of his that Q is willing to use his credit card over.
• Quinton keeps his merch 'white-whales' on a notepad and proceeds to list them. He actually shared the list in Bluesky and Xitter.

• 11:44. Months ago, we learned that Quinton attended the Garfield Gathering and he said he would make a vlog about it but never delivered. Dan's co-host gets him to talk about it. Q basically explains the lore of the con and that he had to sign up through a boomer lady's website to get an invite. It doesn't have a set location, in two years it will be held in Branson, MO. Lovely, wholesome and not a single cute girl his age.
• While discussing the Garfield statue parade in Muncy (which Q visited in early 2020 and thinks is more charming), Cow Parade is mentioned and after that Q's hometown version: Horse Mania.
• Dan asks if its better to walk the Garfield trail on Monday, Q replies any day but Monday. Q then says he would recommend doing it on Garfield's birthday if it weren't also a nationally recognized Civil Rights holiday.
• Dan asks if Jon Arbuckle is the saddest character in fiction and you can just see the tension on Q's face (newfags, Q played Jon in a fanfilm he made) so Dan pivots and asks if Q sees him as the most sympathetic.
• Quinton 'I'm a defender of the balding ponytail' Hoover.
• Quinton raises his cat and she claws him.
• Quinton doesn't like Gorefield, as he thinks it has become forced in Garfiled circles and Q's main problem is that Garfield is a franchise for children. This is a point he has made in the past and was going to make a video on but didn't because he believed people would believe him an absolutist about it.
• They just rapid fire Garfield media and Q gives his takes on it.
• Quinton couldn't convince any of his IRL friends to watch The Garfield Movie with him so he watched it alone at least one of the four times he watched it in cinemas.
• He maintains is a good movie and most people are going to retroactively say it is. He even has to soft defend Chris Pratt's casting. Q's only grievance was the product placement/collabs feeling straight off a TV ad. Is like he doesn't remember what Garfield is all about.
• Q explains how much he enjoyed Garfield branded food, especially grins when talking about a MEATY lasagna. Even Dan calls him out for how he acts when saying MEATY.
• 33:29. Dan's co-host brings up Garfield Eats. Quinton 'I feel bad for Nathen Mazri. Because he needs help' he says while cackling. The co-host presses for the full GE story, you may as well believe Quinton reads the Nathen thread or just wanks while watching Izzyyzz's video on him on repeat. The entire podcast errupts in laughter while Q recounts how Nathen lost the license. Dan asks if the video is up so he can watch it (he even says that is a piece of history that needs to be remembered, oh my fucking sides) but Quinton has a moment of clarity, calls it 'proud boy behaviour' and says Nathen needs help and he is worried about his mental health.
• Q thinks Garfield is a Thanksgiving icon because he is the gluttony hommunculus.
• For the first time since he became mildly popular, Quinton recognizes growing up in the Deep South (I mean, he is still wrong but he admits to being a hick) and that waking up in Trump's America ruined his Thanksgiving tradition of visiting the extended family. He eats cheese bowls with crackers as his comfort food, mac and cheese and ham.
• Quinton hasn't tried Friendsgiving. Doesn't see the point.
• A segment discussing Garf's Macy Parade outings, which is a microcosm of the entire thing. Dan is trying to guide the convo by giving a general Garfield centric topic and Q hyperfixates on one aspect of it, responds the question in longwided fashion and Dan moves on. The Macy Garf balloons are apparently the main thing Q doesn't know shit about, so you have Dan dropping tons of trivia with the energy of an autistic greeter and Q replying in monosylables. There's a claim Q does that the newest Garf balloon may have premiered in Muncy that is taken as fact but I'm not petty enough to fact check.
• If Quinton was allowed to choose how Garfield ends: the finak year is Jon proposing and planning his wedding to Liz and Layman showing up last minute to be the best man. This is old lore.
• Dan's co-host legit feels like he wants to out-sperg Quinton, as in he is the president of the anime club and is testing how the new autismo out. 'Lyman shows up in a four parter', Quinton says 'It wasn't canon.'
• According to Quinton, Jim Davis says that Garfield isn't bigger in Japan because it isn't 'too wordy'.
• 1:09:22. Quinton takes a call from his dad mid podcast. Russ Reviews came to pick up his son right after he was done discussing his plush collection.
• Dan says he bought a hammock for his kids because of Quinton.
• Dan 'do you have a suction cup Garfield plush?', Quinton 'no. I try to be incognito. I don't want people to be like that's Quinton Reviews' car.'
• Quinton has a Hello Kitty collection.
• Quinton autistically moves back n' forth like a special kid when the co-host plugs the channel's other projects because no one is talking to him.
• 1:26:17. Quinton's training arc and he started to take driving lessons (as he has grown tired of explaining it on dates).
• Quinton can draw Garfield, co-host isn't having it and in the pluggiest way possible says he can too.

Quinton's left vs. I think his name was Nathan.

• Quinton is reworking the Hillbillies video. Next main channel video is planned to be on Roku City. Quinton says in the podcast he lost 48 pounds, not sure if that was from his last weight update (November 12th) considering the recording date is missing. Disney Dan liked Quinton's thirst trap 'in a non-creepy way'.
• Not a mention of the McDonald's documentary so I hope that whoever lurks here for Q can enlighten us as to if he plans to meet the deadline he placed for December or if has already submitted it to festivals in an attempt to be a big pants filmmaker (which would mean we might not get to see it for the next year).

 

[Dirk Dinkum]

New @Zygon Penis pfp material.

Looks like if you took a pre-made animation from a girl character and pasted it on her dad's rig. I feel like changing my whole identity upon watching this.

 

[Blue Gem Kosher Queen]

The gig is up. Some autismo made a video discussing the many brand fuck-ups of YouTooz (specifically centred on what YouTubers they pick) and apparently the autismo that made this ranted about Quinton.

I would provide a timestamp if it weren't because the first screencap is right.

In other tangent Quinton news, kemono.su has updated his Patreon page and we actually have answers as to what's next for the channel. Published September 28th:

So at the time that I write this, I don't intend to release any videos in 2024 that are "new," so to speak. I'll be finishing my work on re-editing the April Fools video, but I don't want to put out anything starring myself until April. This is partially to keep the storyline intact, but also just because I've felt so burnt out recently by releasing content.

So with that in mind, I thought I'd share my current attempts to plan out 2025. The first list is a theory of what I actually want to release in the year, the second list is general ideas that I want to do in the next 5 years.

Now, I recognize that this is very pipe-dreamy in tone. Going from posting 1-2 videos a year to posting 10 is hard to believe! But I plan on shifting my weight to making videos that are morel like 1-2 hours instead of 8-40. I'm currently trying to plan out a lot of these videos because I want to move in the next year and I need to finish filming on the old set. I have some Johnmas skits I still need to use, ETC.

This is my attempt to both try new things and appeal to the "stereotype" of what people expect my content to be. I'd really appreciate people's thoughts on these ideas, I've found more private conversations about where the channel should go very frustrating. I don't want to just get stuck in a loop of talking about Henry Danger and Game Shakers until I'm 40. I really want to make some stuff that helps new people find my stuff. So any thoughts about which ideas excite you would really help me get motivated to start writing in the next month.

Nothing in this post is new as he has talked about wanting to downsize his videos, appeal to a wider audience and stray away from Dan Schneider sitcoms. You could just read the last 7-10 pages or so in this page to see his explanations in more detail as a testament to how organized and dead this thread has been due to his relatively low output of content.

What is a new revelation is the "planned" schedule for next year.

• Most of these ideas were also planned for this year, go figure.
• Quinton said in Dan's podcast he wouldn't return to his main channel until May, so Russ Reviews believers will be eating good. Roku City was specifically name dropped as his return video.
• Both the Doofenshmirtz and Phil of the Future ideas were first mentioned officially when Quinton was a guest speaker at his high school (yes, really).
• I guess we get unofficial confirmation that the Fairly Odder and iCarly iCeberg are dead (only video ideas that aren't either officially canned or postponed) as the reboot was going to be the end of the Nickstorian saga.
• Quinton actually answered some comments.

Here are some other ideas that you may get to watch once Barron Trump runs for President.

• Maccas bros, es el fin.
• The bigfoot video and Barnyard videos were subscriber goals he promised years ago. I wouldn't be surprised that if he gets a Quintonian & Quintonette exodus those videos never get made.
• He TECHNICALLY already watched every Garfield movie for a video.
• Air Buds and Max Headroom are two ideas he has been hyping since his channel stopped dying. We TOTALLY need another fucking video about the TV hijacking, SPECIALLY one where we get to hear a plot summary of the entire episode of Doctor Who that was interrupted.
• 5 kiwidollars he is saving the Biggets Loser video for when he goes back to I FUCKING HATE TRUMP weight.
• An Ernest video. I don't trust Quinton to make it good so I'm expecting this to be a Russ video. Probably only doing it because Varney played Jed in the Beverly Hillbillies movie. Hats Off Entertainment did it better tho. A corncracker hick getting schooled by a yawn on a Southern institution such as Ernest P. Worrel. Make a yinzer smile ya cunt.

So far youse probably think I'm too tough on the guy. I'm a bitch but remember when Quinton shared that 'thirst trap'? About a week after the election he released an uncensored version for members and shared the link to it on his Patreon.

Let me paint you the picture. In the original there's this moment, near the end when Q moves awkwardly and his parts escape the orange onesie he is wearing. I'm calling it 'his parts' because the pixels didn't allow me tell if its the wart he calls his cock or one of his testicles. And now I have my fucking answer.

Select frames, may be submitted to Playgirl.

 

[Flexo]

An Ernest video. I don't trust Quinton to make it good so I'm expecting this to be a Russ video. Probably only doing it because Varney played Jed in the Beverly Hillbillies movie. Hats Off Entertainment did it better tho. A corncracker hick getting schooled by a yawn on a Southern institution such as Ernest P. Worrel. Make a yinzer smile ya cunt.

Even extra insulting because Jim Varney was from Kentucky (Lexington in fact).

Best Quinton could do is to actually go around and visit to show on camera some of the places Jim was from and that have historical connections to him since they're probably an afternoon drive for Q.

 

[Dirk Dinkum]

Let me paint you the picture. In the original there's this moment, near the end when Q moves awkwardly and his parts escape the orange onesie he is wearing. I'm calling it 'his parts' because the pixels didn't allow me tell if its the wart he calls his cock or one of his testicles. And now I have my fucking answer.

Your browser is not able to display this video.

Select frames, may be submitted to Playgirl.

Quinton got me wondering if I'm actually into men holy shit.

 

[Metamorpho]