Craigslist Cringe Thread

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Fiercely Codependent said:
The original has been taken down, but luckily someone had the foresight to save this beauty. I fall outside the age ranges, any gals want to take him up on this? Free beef jerky in it for you!!
http://web.archive.org/web/20170105213412/https://losangeles.craigslist.org/wst/tix/5946183119.html
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17. At least twice during the festival you must tell me in a playful manner that "I am naughty".
18. At some point in time during the festival you must tell me that "you didn't know how this would go, but you're actually having a really good time".
19. At least once during our stay after your shower, you must use the steam to write a cute message on the bathroom mirror for me to find later when I shower.
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20. At the end of the day you must gasp exactly four times while I'm laying on top of you in bed, with each breath becoming quieter than the last. Just like hers before the police found me.
 
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Oh boy, this thread comes back just as more crazies are looking for women.
Here's another guy totally not looking for a skin suit.
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Today I have:
This handsome fella.
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This local trailer park dude (skinny meth guy) who tries to lure people to his trailer to pork his Slaton-esque girlfriend. He posts constantly and posts lots of horrid pictures.
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And this dude who's convinced since he poured chainsaw oil or something into his knocking truck engine that it's fixed and now you should trade him a nice low mileage car or a big diesel pickup. For a 2000 Chevy S10 with a rod knock.
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Sub relationship with a bbc loving ebony
I am a young guy lookng to start a black owned life style with a black/ebony woman. This would of course be something I would like to be long term. I want a black woman to serve and worship and who enjoys black men sexually but maybe haven't find them to be the must emotional supporting bf. I can be a answer for both. You can have the dominance and sexually composer of black men and still have a awesome, sarcastic, adventurous BF. One who will push you to do what you think you can'nt. But will be on my knees holding your hair back while you blow another man.

We can go out to start just like a normal couple. Of course we will go over what we both want sexually and emotionally after that we can start out as how normal couple would start. Maybe food and drinks. I want to feel totally comfortable. with you. I want to go over each of our fetishes and desires. Be able to cuddle together and text funny pics. The whole nine yards of a awesome couple.

But like i said " black owned" Which means sexually you will want to be with black men. So i will support you in that quest. I will assist you with them. I will help whatever way i can includeing: Rubing, licking, spreading, spreading, holding, handling and cleaning up. I will to truly show my support suck cuck for you when command to. And will cleanup after them. You can use me for your oral needs as well when you are bored or just want some company.

Now if you can understand my desire to serve. I want a blk woman who loves the fact i will eat black cum for her and still cuddle with her while watching a movie. I am not some type of sissy guy and have really never consider myself , anything besides straight. But after playing with some couples( they really didn't get the sub role) I see now i was made to serve. I had a blk friend one type and she always loved the bbc fetish and could never find a blk man that was also loving. Well i will be loving and will also aim to always put you first.

If you are a black woman who love blk men and who can give orders when needed i may be perfect. I am 24 years old. white 5'10 160lb cute blue eyes. i live south of pitt. So if your ready to have the power for once put " black forever" in subject.

*** Also please please DO NOT ask me to explain what i want 7 times. i have a very detail ad RIGHT HERE. i dont know why peolpe have to keeep asking" what do you want again" I'm the one with the ad. Your not... so please read this as many times as you like. **
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The craft section is always good for a laugh. Who wouldn't want some of these beauties gracing their homes?

David Stabley Ceramic Lamp

Hand Carved Coconut Monkey

Vintage Needlepoint Pillow Tops

TheAmazingAxolotl said:
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Not even counting the cringe factor, that's actually supposed to be dangerous, isn't it?
 
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Here's more I found:
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Dumb and redneck as this is, lawn tractors with snowmobile/motorcycle engines were more common in my area than you'd think. Used to be they were the vehicle of choice for alcoholics who could no longer have a license. Somehow they were legally still a lawn tractor no matter what engine they had. (Even the one my local drunk drove around with a Honda CB750 street bike engine that did 90mph easily.) Also, check out that chain steering wheel. This is probably the 3rd time I've seen this ad. The price was originally $500.

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Clearly not a jeep. Come on, man, it visibly says Montero right on the side. I have no idea how someone can own a vehicle, sometimes for years even, and not know what it is.

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This guy's realized there are some things money can't buy... and for those things, there's parrots. But they must be high quality parrots. They'd have to be, for the kind of qualifications and work he's expecting. And then only if he approves of you and your house. Just how many parrots must this guy have? I'm not sure a parrot is exactly a hot commodity here, I've never actually known anyone to own one.

I'm starting to miss the Obamapocalypse preppers who wanted gold/silver in autistically specific amounts for everything.

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Better get a patent on that...
 
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TheGreatCitracett said:
Today I have:
This handsome fella.
View attachment 172536

This local trailer park dude (skinny meth guy) who tries to lure people to his trailer to pork his Slaton-esque girlfriend. He posts constantly and posts lots of horrid pictures.
View attachment 172539

And this dude who's convinced since he poured chainsaw oil or something into his knocking truck engine that it's fixed and now you should trade him a nice low mileage car or a big diesel pickup. For a 2000 Chevy S10 with a rod knock.
View attachment 172541
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That guy's face just screams pedophile! Wish I had the horrifying rating so I wouldn't have had to neg rate your post with islamic content. Lol
 
Oh man do I love browsing Craigslist now and then.

The Kitty Doc is not a real medical doctor, but he is special. That said, he is looking for a lovely lady to entrust the care and well being of her precious kitty to the good Doc. The Doc is well versed in Kitty ailments and has a 100% success rate at curing even the most difficult conditions. The Doc is also well versed in a large variety of treatment options among which is MKR (Mouth to Kitty Resuscitation) which is guaranteed to make your kitty purr and put a smile on the owners face.

The Doc is not interested in building a large practice, but instead would like to limit himself to a single lady so he can be free to devote richly deserved time and attention to a "patient" in an unhurried manner.

Please reply if you are interested or if this made you laugh. Put MKR in the subject line to weed out spam.

Disclaimer: The Kitty Doc is neither a medical nor animal doctor and has not attained a phd. However, he is will educated in his field.

Hey ladies ! I know what I'm looking for is a little different and I'm not trying to be disrespectful . I know what type of woman I need,want and desire in my life. Would you like a man that would share you with others, be cool and encouraging with you seeing others sexually ,a man that would love you sharing your body with others but giving your heart to me/. A man that will always be there for you ,protect you,be so very proud of you ,stand by you,be completely loyal to only you and love you with all his heart .If you do that man is me ! I am 58years old ,6ft2,hwp tan complected ,close cut beard an mustache.If interested please send your phone number ,not into emailing ,you learn and get a feel for others by talking and that shows me you are real and serious .Btw I'm not looking for pay for play and I'm not looking to be your pimp I'm just seeking a woman that loves showing herself and sharing her body and sexual appetite with others but wants to be loved and wants a man that she can love in a loving ltr . Put slut in title. I really hope you are out here . thank you

I'm looking for just one clean and sane guy not too young. Older is better. Hoping to meet up with someone regularly. I'm not looking for a bottom. I want a guy who will email me as often as possible for the both of us who knows what he wants and is very verbal. Someone who will do a lot of talking telling me what I need to do to make his dick/cock feel good. Someone is gets turned on by someone eating sperm. I want to be made to eat loads of sperm including my own. As many as you can give. Talk dirty telling me to lick, even lick and eat your ass real good if you wanted that, lick, suck, keep sucking, bob that head up and down, call me and talk to me any way that you want. Cum down my throat and or pull out and watch it shoot in my mouth, make me swallow all of it. Have me eat your ass good for a while then suck your dick some more. Make me jack it for you in my mouth. Have me eat your sperm off of your belly, whatever just make me eat lots of sperm all different ways. Someone who is not in a hurry and is turned on by having someone eat their cum. Someone who would have me hang out and take care him multible times. Heavy cummer would be even better. I'm not into abuse other than verbal and more like seducing me. Tell me things like>>> Take all of your clothes off, come here, kiss my cock, lick it, open your mouth, start sucking, suck it good, you are going to be my personal dick sucker or whatever, have me say yes sir or yes daddy. Tell me to keep sucking , you are going to suck me real good for as long as I want right?, Yes sir. You will suck and suck and suck and make me feel good, right? Yes sir. I'm going to shoot a big load in your mouth and you have to swallow the whole load down. Straddle my face and or jack off in my mouth, head hanging over the bed however. Yes sir. Lick that nasty cum up, eat it, all of it get every drop. It taste nasty, don't it. Eat it, eat it, swallow it down, isn't that good. swallow it all of it boy.Suck my balls, Lick my ass hole, eat it eat it real good. Come here, I need you to suck for me again. Time for you to make me feel good again. Time to eat some more of that nasty dick sperm ok? yes sir.. I am 47 white married professional extremely clean and must be extremely discreet. I am 5 ft 11'' 185 lbs. You can touch, play with me however if interested, it doesn't matter but I like to be naked. I'm a masc and normal straight man but want to be a secret little cum slut for one guy who can host and who lives in a decent area close enough to Chester. I can send pics if interested

I can't find it anymore but there used to be a guy in the "rooms wanted" section who basically wanted to be adopted into a family who would tuck him into bed at night and give him a dog to cuddle so he wouldn't be lonely. Kept going on about souls and vibes and universe love energy....he would have been a great post for this thread but I guess some sickos decided to kill him and harvest his kidneys adopt him into the family.
 
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PolexiaAphrodisia said:
Oh man do I love browsing Craigslist now and then.

The Kitty Doc is not a real medical doctor, but he is special. That said, he is looking for a lovely lady to entrust the care and well being of her precious kitty to the good Doc. The Doc is well versed in Kitty ailments and has a 100% success rate at curing even the most difficult conditions. The Doc is also well versed in a large variety of treatment options among which is MKR (Mouth to Kitty Resuscitation) which is guaranteed to make your kitty purr and put a smile on the owners face.

The Doc is not interested in building a large practice, but instead would like to limit himself to a single lady so he can be free to devote richly deserved time and attention to a "patient" in an unhurried manner.

Please reply if you are interested or if this made you laugh. Put MKR in the subject line to weed out spam.

Disclaimer: The Kitty Doc is neither a medical nor animal doctor and has not attained a phd. However, he is will educated in his field.

Hey ladies ! I know what I'm looking for is a little different and I'm not trying to be disrespectful . I know what type of woman I need,want and desire in my life. Would you like a man that would share you with others, be cool and encouraging with you seeing others sexually ,a man that would love you sharing your body with others but giving your heart to me/. A man that will always be there for you ,protect you,be so very proud of you ,stand by you,be completely loyal to only you and love you with all his heart .If you do that man is me ! I am 58years old ,6ft2,hwp tan complected ,close cut beard an mustache.If interested please send your phone number ,not into emailing ,you learn and get a feel for others by talking and that shows me you are real and serious .Btw I'm not looking for pay for play and I'm not looking to be your pimp I'm just seeking a woman that loves showing herself and sharing her body and sexual appetite with others but wants to be loved and wants a man that she can love in a loving ltr . Put slut in title. I really hope you are out here . thank you


I'm looking for just one clean and sane guy not too young. Older is better. Hoping to meet up with someone regularly. I'm not looking for a bottom. I want a guy who will email me as often as possible for the both of us who knows what he wants and is very verbal. Someone who will do a lot of talking telling me what I need to do to make his dick/cock feel good. Someone is gets turned on by someone eating sperm. I want to be made to eat loads of sperm including my own. As many as you can give. Talk dirty telling me to lick, even lick and eat your ass real good if you wanted that, lick, suck, keep sucking, bob that head up and down, call me and talk to me any way that you want. Cum down my throat and or pull out and watch it shoot in my mouth, make me swallow all of it. Have me eat your ass good for a while then suck your dick some more. Make me jack it for you in my mouth. Have me eat your sperm off of your belly, whatever just make me eat lots of sperm all different ways. Someone who is not in a hurry and is turned on by having someone eat their cum. Someone who would have me hang out and take care him multible times. Heavy cummer would be even better. I'm not into abuse other than verbal and more like seducing me. Tell me things like>>> Take all of your clothes off, come here, kiss my cock, lick it, open your mouth, start sucking, suck it good, you are going to be my personal dick sucker or whatever, have me say yes sir or yes daddy. Tell me to keep sucking , you are going to suck me real good for as long as I want right?, Yes sir. You will suck and suck and suck and make me feel good, right? Yes sir. I'm going to shoot a big load in your mouth and you have to swallow the whole load down. Straddle my face and or jack off in my mouth, head hanging over the bed however. Yes sir. Lick that nasty cum up, eat it, all of it get every drop. It taste nasty, don't it. Eat it, eat it, swallow it down, isn't that good. swallow it all of it boy.Suck my balls, Lick my ass hole, eat it eat it real good. Come here, I need you to suck for me again. Time for you to make me feel good again. Time to eat some more of that nasty dick sperm ok? yes sir.. I am 47 white married professional extremely clean and must be extremely discreet. I am 5 ft 11'' 185 lbs. You can touch, play with me however if interested, it doesn't matter but I like to be naked. I'm a masc and normal straight man but want to be a secret little cum slut for one guy who can host and who lives in a decent area close enough to Chester. I can send pics if interested

I can't find it anymore but there used to be a guy in the "rooms wanted" section who basically wanted to be adopted into a family who would tuck him into bed at night and give him a dog to cuddle so he wouldn't be lonely. Kept going on about souls and vibes and universe love energy....he would have been a great post for this thread but I guess some sickos decided to kill him and harvest his kidneys adopt him into the family.
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I love the last one. Just listing off the most depraved gay shit and then at the end just goes "I'm a normal straight man" so casually.

Craigslist is the gift that keeps on giving. I really need to dive back in and looks for some more gems
 
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