Tess Holliday / Ryann Maegen Hoven - Beached Landwhale model, Body positive and social justice snacktivist, and gigantic fraud

[GAY Ted Wheeler]

Much like the current and former hosts of Fox News - somebody has to keep the book aisles at Ollie‘s filled with new stock. Tess’s next book will look great sandwiched between Dooce’s last project before she An Hero‘d herself and those Amish eroticas that litter every Ollie‘s I’ve ever been to in the United States.

 

[My cravat doesn't flutter]

Are we still waiting on a TEDx video?

 

[Blerg]

Well, if she got an advance, mystery solved regarding
the money on which she was living. Knowing Tess, if she set fingers to keyboard for a second on this book she’d have endless videos and shit alluding to her being an author, publisher gag order or not. She barely pimps her existing book, which was of course a failure. Now this is book is released by a terribly obese, lewd-posting has-been targeted at CHILDREN, at a time when fat acceptance is on its way out along with troons and all the rest of the wrong think victims.

I love it. Can’t wait to see this fucker on sale in a few weeks like all her other failed projects, with little to no promotion aside from a few backhanded articles from People or some similar shill rag.

Just get a fucking job, Tess.

 

[NoReturn]

She keep saying the book was released. It wasn't. It's on preorder.

 

[No Thank You v 2.0]

#1 in Diet and Nutrition new releases. She must be so pleased to be beating out a book on eliminating ultra processed foods.


We are so fucked.

 

[Constellationzero]

Why does EVERY SINGLE SOLITARY butt ugly, fat, GREASY, OILY, SMELLY, unhygienic super morbidly obese (looking at YOU, Sally Shine, and YOU, Corissa) think anyone wants/needs to see their jumpscare of a GREASY face shunted apropos of NOTHING on their Instagram posts?

 

[xogossipgorl]

Are we still waiting on a TEDx video?

I've even googled around for clips from some of the other speakers and can't find anything. That could just be me, but was this event such a nothing burger that there are no clips anywhere from any of these women's fans?
Wouldn't it be in their own best interest to have a youtube channel or something and put the speeches up now that the event is over?

It doesn't take much to rank in some of those Amazon subcategories. In the Kindle version her book is ranked 243, 133 overall which isn't good. And why isn't she outraged that it's in the evil diet section!

 

[Soup Sammiches]

The she universe and the she car and the she sun and the she Little Debbies Christmas cakes. SO tiresome.

 

[Pudgy Bear Claws]

Her bangs and hair look like dogshit when she doesn't get a professional blowout. Guessing looking at the texture of her hair she's using some basic bitch Walmart shampoo and conditioner.

 

[yousoundlikeanasshole]

Well, if she got an advance, mystery solved regarding
the money on which she was living. Knowing Tess, if she set fingers to keyboard for a second on this book she’d have endless videos and shit alluding to her being an author, publisher gag order or not. She barely pimps her existing book, which was of course a failure. Now this is book is released by a terribly obese, lewd-posting has-been targeted at CHILDREN, at a time when fat acceptance is on its way out along with troons and all the rest of the wrong think victims.

I love it. Can’t wait to see this fucker on sale in a few weeks like all her other failed projects, with little to no promotion aside from a few backhanded articles from People or some similar shill rag.

Just get a fucking job, Tess.

Her other book was a bunch of cobbled together bullshit and ended up on the shelves at the dollar tree.

 

[blue gopher snakes]

Her bangs and hair look like dogshit when she doesn't get a professional blowout. Guessing looking at the texture of her hair she's using some basic bitch Walmart shampoo and conditioner.

She has wavy hair and iirc she has posted about it and even had a “natural hair” moment before giving up on trying to be Italian or whatever she was claiming. Wavy hair (and curly hair) looks like dogshit if it’s not styled in the proper way, even without years of color and heat damage.

 

[The Hardest R]

#1 in Diet and Nutrition new releases. She must be so pleased to be beating out a book on eliminating ultra processed foods.
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We are so fucked.

It’s so tempting to get MATI about this but I know this will just lead to entertainment later. It’ll be fun to see her on a possible media circuit incoherently babbling, like the time she claimed to be anorexic.

She has wavy hair and iirc she has posted about it and even had a “natural hair” moment before giving up on trying to be Italian or whatever she was claiming. Wavy hair (and curly hair) looks like dogshit if it’s not styled in the proper way, even without years of color and heat damage.

Yeah that was during the moment she was dipping her big, splayed out toe into the waters of transracialism.

 

[Boston Brand]

That’s why I was curious if @Boston Brand had access to the numbers to see how many copies of her 2017 book sold. For some ungodly reason, maybe Tubby Tess sold more than what we’d think her book would’ve sold but she keeps getting these extra chances for some odd reason. I think she’d have pretended to be some renowned author if she was successful last time. Tubbers is (ghost)writing another book, pretty much doing anything and everything other than being a model.

Nothing showing up when I look up her or the title. I will tinker around a bit later, I could be inputting the data wrong.

Her publisher is, or at least was, Weldon Owen, a small imprint that specializes in cookbooks and coffee table books. An odd fit, to be sure.

 

[NoReturn]

I'd tell Tess to stop dating and focus on her kid but we all know she's looking for financial support.

 

[Daddy's Little Kitten]

Her hair looks horrible. Why get a haircut that requires maintenance when you can't lift your arms to style it?

 

[No Thank You v 2.0]

Her hair looks horrible. Why get a haircut that requires maintenance when you can't lift your arms to style it?

Because, like everything, she expects someone else to fix it for her. You can see she’s already abandoning her bang maintenance.

I think for a lot of American women who were young and watching TV between 1988-1993, bangs have always been very closely associated with Winnie Cooper of the wonder years, and to that, my only warning for Tess is YWNBWC.

I noticed yesterday that people are nicknaming their Teslas “Tessy,” which has given me a chuckle. I don’t like the way Teslas look, but I’ve never thought of them as “The Fat Woman’s Favorite Car,” like how I now see Jeeps, thanks to Tess.

 

[DeusVult]

I'd tell Tess to stop dating and focus on her kid but we all know she's looking for financial support.
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Damn, why is she so angry in this video?

 

[PatrickButtmanJr.]

Damn - I come back to this site after a few years and Mess Hoofiday still hasn't keeled over from a heart attack or lost a limb to the 'beetus? She did get fatter as expected, and is still pimping poor out Bowie for attention. Some things never change.

 

[Blerg]

Wish.com Sabrina Carpenter over here; I really cannot get over those bangs and that freckle makeup on her, she looks ridiculous but is clearly feeling herself so hard.

Broke, homeless (as far as we can tell), failing at everything, obscenely fat, literally glistening in grease and she focuses on love? Love? What the hell does she know about love? Her ex husband abandoned her and their son, whom she exploits, and not one single friend has lasted all these 1431 pages as an active, supportive participant in Tess’s life. Not even family. Love is not a word that Tess actually understands. It is a favor to the world that she plans to stop latching onto the first pulse that holds eye contact and claim it as love.

 

[barbie meat]

I really cannot get over those bangs and that freckle makeup on her, she looks ridiculous but is clearly feeling herself so hard.

I've started to wonder if instead of makeup, she actually went and got those freckle tattoos. Because I don't think she's ever seen without them these days, even though the fake-freckles makeup look is already out of style. Just yet another L for our perpetual failure of a moddle.