The Writing Thread

[Caddo Cobgang]

doumping this Short Story here, takes place a little over 80 years in the future, but its an alternate timeline where the British Empire never fell, I like making up hypothetical geo-political tensions

The air in Washington was thick with tension, a stifling blend of summer humidity and the weight of impending conflict. In the Oval Office, the triumvirate stood around the mahogany table, their faces illuminated by the glow of a digital map projected onto the surface. Red markers outlined British strongholds in Canada, while blue icons represented American military assets, precariously close to the border.

President Spencer Cheney, his sharp features shadowed by the dim light, leaned forward. “Euphemia is young, but she isn’t naive. Her ministers will push for a show of strength. We need to decide if we’re willing to respond in kind—or back down.”

Vice President Elliot Adams, a seasoned diplomat with a voice like gravel, folded his arms. “Backing down isn’t an option. A single shell hitting Buffalo or Detroit, and the people will demand blood. We’d better have a plan ready when that happens.”

Across from him, Secretary of State Stanley Deng adjusted his glasses, his expression unreadable. “If war breaks out, it won’t be a skirmish confined to the border. The British Navy is still the largest in the world, and their Commonwealth allies won’t sit idly by. We’re looking at a global war, gentlemen.”

Cheney’s gaze swept the room, taking in the silent faces of the other cabinet members. “We’ve fought wars before. Hell, we’ve fought the British before. But this time, we’re not just fighting a monarchy—we’re fighting the idea of empire itself. Euphemia’s coronation speech made that clear enough. ‘The sun shall never set on Britannia’s glory.’ That’s not just a slogan; it’s a threat.”

The tension crackled as General Martin Reynolds, Chief of Staff of the Army, cleared his throat. “If they shell the border, we’ll respond with overwhelming force. But we need authorization to mobilize now, or we risk being caught flat-footed.”

Cheney nodded, his jaw tightening. “Then let’s make it clear. If the British Empire wants a war, we’ll give them one. But we strike on our terms—not theirs. Adams, start drafting a statement. Deng, reach out to our allies. Reynolds, get me a strategy that shows we’re ready for anything. This isn’t just about defending our borders—it’s about defending the Republic.”

Outside, the setting sun cast the Capitol in a crimson hue, as though foreshadowing the blood that might soon be spilled.

 

[VeteranOfTheRetardWars]

I wrote another story for Dash Comet, and found out ChatGPT can take passages and turn them into images so I nerded out and commanded the machine to make me retro sci-fi art. It's actually a lot of fun writing these stories, it's kind of hard to think stuff up but once I make a basic outline of 'beginning, middle, end' it's easier to just go. I'll have to go over them again once I write more stories and polish them, but at least I don't find them offensively bad.
The new story is about a mission to retrieve data from a destroyed drone on an ocean planet, I've always liked things like Subnautica because the ocean is already pretty alien as is.
Critiquing myself, I need to find a way to slow down while maintaining the aspect of Dash relaying the details of his mission verbally. I should probably add more detail about what's around him and what he was thinking, but for now I'm just trying to write down the stories before I go over them again.

Spoiler: images

Moon Of Metal Leaves
View attachment 6645704

Under The Alien Sea
View attachment 6645706

The semester is finally fucking over so I can get back to writing Dash Comet instead of stats homework.
My next story is a toss-up between a story focused on Kaede or another Dash mission.
Dash's mission would be on an Arctic planet where the mission is to overthrow a warlord who has taken over a Union research base and save the scientists and their families from captivity. One thing would lead to another culminating in an epic unarmed duel to the death between the warlord and our daring hero, as we would establish an almost Fremen-esque viewpoint among the Frozen Tribe where death is a natural consequence of life in the harsh Arctic wasteland, and therefore the strongest is in charge. I mainly want to write an epic fight scene. The name would be something like The Deadly Hold of The Frozen Wastes.
Kaede's story would be about them orbiting the sun of a populated system where some weird shit is happening to the star, think Sunshine. Beings called the Solar Wardens appear to our duo, and these Wardens are beings made of energy. They explain that they will be eating this sun as that's how they survive, going from star to star and consuming its energy. It's explained to the Wardens that the way humans live requires the sun, and that untold numbers of humans would perish if the star was to die. The Wardens experience such a different manner of existence that they just don't comprehend death, so a deal is made. The deal is that if the Wardens can experience humanity in a way they can understand, they will work with the Intergalactic Union and do humanity a favor by not eating the suns of populated systems. Kaede, having been part of the Space Opera or some shit, plays a song of humanity on her holo-koto. A song about love, about war, about life and death. A song that spans from the very first humans on Earth to them leaving Earth and how they've never stopped exploring the great unknown of the universe. About hope and dreams, about pain and suffering, the greatest song ever played. Kind of like the song The Lat played in Dancers at The End Of Time. I've always loved the descriptions of music during important scenes in Kingkiller Chronicles as well, so I want to try something like that. The working title is A Solar Wardens’ Battaglia.
What would you guys want to read first, and are there some other sci-fi pulp ideas you all would like to see?

 

[darknation]

4th draft. Probably 9000 words to go. Circling the runway, either going to land this bastard gracefully or 9/11 it in a fucking blaze of islamic glory, idk will decide later.

36k notes on top of the actual text is probably OOT. I've basically written a fucking dissertation on my own novel at this point.

 

[Pomniman]

4th draft.

This is already as Islamic as it gets, bud.

 

[BrunoMattei]

This is already as Islamic as it gets, bud.

Try 100 drafts.

 

[Pomniman]

Try 100 drafts.

Why not at least 10,000, so every single line is perfectly bleached and manicured for xir pleasure like PPP's anus?

 

[Dick Johnson]

While not fanfic of a cow, this is inspired by a cow. Daniel Lavery (nee Mallory Ortberg) is an author who, as the name suggests, is a female-to-male trans person. And who recently released a first novel, titled Women's Hotel. I was making fun of the incredibly woman-oriented subject matter and suggested that 'Danny' write some more male-appealing fiction.

And I did a little, in sort of the style that 'Danny' (and Mallory) is known for, a very twee navel-gazing of the minutia of life. But, I put it to work in a technothriller.

Excerpted from

ON the Use of Covert Government Force Against Nonstate Groups Who May or May Not Have One or More Legitimate Grievances




REGINALD pressed his thumb down, savoring the precision click of well-machined components as he swept the safety off of his carbine. Quite a good job those boffins down in Armory did, the peculiar buggers, he thought. They really knew how to make a piece of kit, and if they’d had a social media page he would recommend it to everyone he knew as well as to complete strangers.

The complete strangers in the compound below would sadly get very little time to appreciate the quality, but they were at least lucky enough to experience it from the end that he himself could not, so they had that over him. The carbine had a suppressor on, that caused it to make a kind of silly sounding boof boof instead of BOOM BOOM. BOOM BOOM was a much more threatening sound, but it was also unpleasantly loud and there was also the small chance that someone who heard boof boof when they were being shot at would think there was a clown involved somehow. The compound itself was laid out like a series of small plates in a fancy restaurant, only some of plates weren’t plate-shaped and all of them were buildings. A lab for developing illicit chemical weapons, or perhaps bioweapons, but probably not nuclear weapons. Regardless of the weapons that were being developed there, they were all things that certain governments were very keen to keep other people from playing with.

Down we go then he thought as he slithered his way through the thick rainforest undergrowth, which would be an emerald overload in daytime but was now a false-color motion-higlighted wonderland through the Omnispec goggles. The surveillance he had gathered that morning (on what ended up being quite an enjoyable hike, even if he did have to take it slowly and quietly) lurked in the goggles field of view. Labels of buildings, neon-outlined exits and entrances and windows, projected locations of not-visible site personnel, illuminated visible site personnel, and electronic sensors along with their status of ‘jammed’ or ‘not jammed’. He crept closer as a pair of sentries on a patrol separated from the main bricked path to make their route through the trees. Hopefully they’d enjoy it as much he had earlier. They were going to approach but pass by him at a tangent, and all he had to do was wait, while his sound pickups tried to pull in the noises around him which would hopefully include (though sadly, not) an entertaining conversation between the two sentries. They weren’t big talkers and they quietly walked along until their backs were to him. He settled the dot of the sight on the head of the one on the left. Boof boof went the carbine, and he barely had the dot on the head of the one on the right, on the side of his head since he’d turned it to look at his partner’s exploding melon, when he caressed the trigger again boof boof. Reginald wondered if the second man had thought that he was being shot at by a clown.

Those Armory buggers should really get out into the field once in a while, he thought. It would be a real shame to make a wonderful firearm like this and never shoot anyone with it. He checked the corpses for anything useful, and found a keyfob per corpse that looked like they were part of the same batch of keyfobs and thus very likely their keys for the facility. He also found an open packet of tamarind-flavored chewing gum in one of their pockets, and he took that as well, in case he wanted to try it later. The corpses were then secreted away without ceremony in the thickest piece of foliage that Reginald could spot from where he was standing.

Everyone always thought that getting shot in the head would be instant goodnight Eileen goodnight, but what if it wasn’t? What if somehow, as the brain was liquified by the transfer of kinetic energy to soft tissue, the effect swirled things in a way that sped up consciousness? That the millisecond of projectile-skull collaboration would play out as an eternity in the agitated mixture, the person within experiencing a void of not-life? One of these days he was bound to find out.

 

[BrunoMattei]

And I did a little, in sort of the style that 'Danny' (and Mallory) is known for, a very twee navel-gazing of the minutia of life. But, I put it to work in a technothriller.

Good shit.

 

[BrunoMattei]

I will say, to defend ai programs for a moment after condemning them, it's good for a word search or when you're looking for the correct expression and rhyme. Kind of like a more refined Google.

 

[Pomniman]

I will say, to defend ai programs for a moment after condemning them, it's good for a word search or when you're looking for the correct expression and rhyme. Kind of like a more refined Google.

For purely aesthetic reasons, I have an aversion to using AI for anything even vaguely practical, so I made Elon's machine learning model LARP as a gypsy fortune teller for me since it's apparently free to use now.

Your fortune today, Scam, is wrapped in the mystery of the unknown, much like the elusive books you've sought in stores. The stars suggest that something you thought was lost or unattainable may soon surprise you with its presence. Keep your eyes open for hidden opportunities, and remember, the most intriguing stories are often those least expected.

3/10, I don't quite want my 0 dollars back but I'm none too impressed.

 

[BrunoMattei]

For purely aesthetic reasons, I have an aversion to using AI for anything even vaguely practical, so I made Elon's machine learning model LARP as a gypsy fortune teller for me since it's apparently free to use now.



3/10, I don't quite want my 0 dollars back but I'm none too impressed.

 

[Pomniman]

You know, now that I think about it, for all the times trannies are called Buffalo Bill, no one ever calls them Leatherface when he's an even more stereotypical autistic/retarded fat ogre-looking slob who crossdresses in at least one of the movies from what I recall. Missed opportunity, that.

 

[BrunoMattei]

Missed opportunity, that.

That can be fixed. Whenever I see troons mutilate themselves I unironically remember that scene from TCM:

 

[Viper the rappah]

How long are projects supposed to be finished especially comics?

Feels emberassing knowing my thing is supposed to be finished by the end of august yet here we are 4 months and 4 days later since that
It went from this



To these currently


Improvement is good but 4 months for only 3 pages dedicated to fight a scene, 7 introductory ones and 4/10 or so that are supposed to be remakes of first 7 with extra pages to make it better alongside 20-30 pages worth of storyboards is pathetically slow to me.
Anyways also more writing related i've been struggling with not making my script feel marvel if you know what i mean. I made one dialouge scene that i thought was fine but then upon discovering marvel's new shitty movies it made me reconsider if i am doing poor job at writing.

Spoiler: he's right behind me isn't he

It was supposed to go something like this

Main characters rush through the halfway of train with ankylosaur character shielding them with his plates until they take cover and exchange what will they do now

Veloci: what now?
Ankylo: my plates are bit damaged but it'll be enough for one more push. Just give me a moment
Tricka: A moment? Ankylo we are SECONDS away from being blown up by granade or whatever they throw at us first and these walls ain't gonna hold up either.
Tricka: We can't just keep pushing ourselves back into nearest couch or chair until they overwhelm us! It's either now or never!
Ankylo:Are you insane? As if it would've been better to just rush in and get shot on the spot. Tricka get over yourself!
Ankylo: At least let me breathe for a bit, maybe i'll be able to half ass some plan or SOMETHING
Tricka: You think just because you and Spinco been larping as backyard commandos in some quiet neighbourhood makes you some form of tactician. This ain't no game or mili sim. It's either you can decide in split decision or die.

 

[Pomniman]

Anyways also more writing related i've been struggling with not making my script feel marvel if you know what i mean. I made one dialouge scene that i thought was fine but then upon discovering marvel's new shitty movies it made me reconsider if i am doing poor job at writing.

It is a bit Joss Whedonesque, but in fairness it's harder to write comics without completely taking the piss out of everything relative to text-only books/stories where you can at least bullshit the audience into thinking you're taking things seriously when you actually aren't some of the time. If you want your writing to seem more superficially "serious" read some pre-modern stuff like ancient Greek plays (eg: the Oresteia and Theban (Oedipus) trilogy, they're shorter than you'd think) or epic poetry/stories derived from it (I'd recommend The Nibelungenlied and The Song of Roland because they're not that long as far as these things go and less dry than some others I've seen) and use that sort of style as at least a partial thematic basis.

 

[Viper the rappah]

It is a bit Joss Whedonesque, but in fairness it's harder to write comics without completely taking the piss out of everything relative to text-only books/stories where you can at least bullshit the audience into thinking you're taking things seriously when you actually aren't some of the time. If you want your writing to seem more superficially "serious" read some pre-modern stuff like ancient Greek plays (eg: the Oresteia and Theban (Oedipus) trilogy, they're shorter than you'd think) or epic poetry/stories derived from it (I'd recommend The Nibelungenlied and The Song of Roland because they're not that long as far as these things go and less dry than some others I've seen) and use that sort of style as at least a partial thematic basis.

I'll give book a try
Can i use chat gpt to help. I make script, ask chat gpt to help and redo some parts i think are shaky or dont fit

 

[BrunoMattei]

Something I wrote a few years ago and just now miraculously rediscovered.

Reddit

Frozen in a moment in time. Yearning to change. Trapped in a glass coffin while others pass like a chrysalis on display for a dissection in the science lab.

I yearn to change and become what I was meant to be and that thing is anything but what I currently am. To remove a false identity implanted by what I’ve been told. Unfortunately the process to remake yourself is monetarily costly even if mentally you’re already there. And so I made myself available to others at a price. I kept my current 9-5 and targeted Friday nights and weekends as my side job, lest I lose my insurance in the wake of a devastating newfound STD. The lowest moment was when I accepted an offer from a junkie and used a shopping bag as a condom. But after six months of enduring humiliation I had saved up enough to finally achieve my metamorphoses.

First were the breasts but that was a trial and error ordeal. It turned out I was allergic to silicone and my body didn’t produce enough fat to do a fat transfer –assuming I could even afford the fancier surgery. I ended up having them cut away but I was not deterred. What has been taken can be rebuilt with more sacrifice.

The prep for the final surgery was quick, just a single meeting was made to determine my candidacy. Then the surgery came where they took away what I affectionately referred to as the flesh tumor. As they cut pieces of me away, like a chisel applied to a statue, I welcomed this act of unmaking. However, my surgeon was no Michelangelo and I ended up far removed from La Pieta. The pain was immense and there was a constant stink of rot emanating from me like open sewage –this overpowering stench of feces and decay. I screeched when the pitiless nurse took the white phallus and dilated my wound until I grabbed at the feminine device and beat her with it in rage and tears. They gave me morphine before handing over a mirror to gaze at the wound which resembled a crude opening performed via chainsaw. More morphine was prescribed until I ran out and substituted that with hard drugs.

Time passed and I had come to realize that I am a failed alchemist, trading flesh for new flesh, and the body is but commodity to others. Either I whore myself or succumb to the machinations of others. When I made it home I sat down in front of a mirror fully nude and stared into the abyss: I imagined it to be a pink palace but it looked like red meat haphazardly arranged with already a forest of hair growing out. I renounce the flesh portal and reach in, pulling pieces of meat and hair away until my back breaks and I am inside myself to suffocate. There’s a metaphor there.

 

[Soi Woh Jak]

It is a bit Joss Whedonesque, but in fairness it's harder to write comics without completely taking the piss out of everything relative to text-only books/stories where you can at least bullshit the audience into thinking you're taking things seriously when you actually aren't some of the time. If you want your writing to seem more superficially "serious" read some pre-modern stuff like ancient Greek plays (eg: the Oresteia and Theban (Oedipus) trilogy, they're shorter than you'd think) or epic poetry/stories derived from it (I'd recommend The Nibelungenlied and The Song of Roland because they're not that long as far as these things go and less dry than some others I've seen) and use that sort of style as at least a partial thematic basis.

Not really, comics can be serious, all writing can be serious it's just that comedy should be sparingly used. The self aware humor trope which has infected the writing sphere has made seriousness obsolete. You don't have to read old shit unless you're trying to crib philosophy, tonality is something which can be managed if you avoid things like banter, levity and comedy, especially in places where they don't belong.

How long are projects supposed to be finished especially comics?

Manga artists take 3-7 days for a finished draft which is to say script and storyboards, probably few more days for inking. I take a slight bit longer for all three (script storyboard and inking), a week and a half tops for 10-15 pages if I have free time and my focus isn't shot. I would say it depends on focus and artstyle cause there are stories of people like kentaro miura taking 3 days for one 2 page spread drawing.

Now something I have a problem with, writing characters with opposing viewpoints. I neither have hindsight and foresight while writing, I just write in the present and assess quality later. One thing I find is writing opposing viewpoints and conflict is difficult because everytime it's easy to find the logical holes in the other side. Generally conflict should seem strong and natural but when it's easy to find logical holes in one side from your perspective, it becomes difficult to take that side seriously and makes conflict one sided. For example if you say write the conflict between a murderer and lawman, unless you make the lawman corrupt it's very difficult to make the murderers logic hold weight if he did it for non legal reasons, which makes the conflict weak and one sided. Part of it comes down to personal sympathy but how do you write unsympathetic non protagonist characters with solid logic and weight to their perspective without making them ontologically good?

 

[Pomniman]

Not really, comics can be serious, all writing can be serious it's just that comedy should be sparingly used. The self aware humor trope which has infected the writing sphere has made seriousness obsolete. You don't have to read old shit unless you're trying to crib philosophy, tonality is something which can be managed if you avoid things like banter, levity and comedy, especially in places where they don't belong.

I'd actually say that the more serious something intends to be the less serious it ends up being because it makes the author come off as a self-absorbed wanker with a stick up his ass. At a glance, fussing over tone might seem like the final solution to the reddit tee hee ha ha metaironic humor question, but it's a mistake in its own regard in that the silliest things in life are often also the most tragic, as much of the content of this very site can attest to. And reading ancient shit is good for you regardless because almost everything that's been written in the past 2000 years is heavily derivative of it anyway so you're only cutting out the middleman by at least occasionally revisiting the source.

 

[Soi Woh Jak]

I'd actually say that the more serious something intends to be the less serious it ends up being because it makes the author come off as a self-absorbed wanker with a stick up his ass. At a glance, fussing over tone might seem like the final solution to the reddit tee hee ha ha metaironic humor question, but it's a mistake in its own regard in that the silliest things in life are often also the most tragic, as much of the content of this very site can attest to. And reading ancient shit is good for you regardless because almost everything that's been written in the past 2000 years is heavily derivative of it anyway so you're only cutting out the middleman by at least occasionally revisiting the source.

I think you're confusing propaganda with respect. When I say serious I mean it's something respectful or realistic, it doesn't force you to take it seriously, it doesn't draw attention to itself and can stand on its feet. The reddit serious syndrome is propaganda, something which is a puppet for the writer, something which draws attention to itself and you can see from a mile away, you know, pretentious writing. A good example is tlou2 with its gratuitous sex and violence mixed with out of place subject matter and hypocritical framing. I never said reading ancient shit is by any means bad, I just said unless you're specifically cribbing from it, it can be unnecessary.