Noah Samsen / “Nice Guy” of Breadtube - Breadtuber, Male Feminist, Illymation Simp, Little Mermaid Enjoyer, TBYS and Vaush Rival, Whiteknight

[Albrecht von Wallenstein]

Welcome back, ladies and gents!

Noah Samsen released a new video on the Gazan War, dissecting a CNN article that discusses the PTSD and mental issues that IDF soldiers develop from their military experience. He will surely provide nuanced and insightful commentary on this sensitive subject.

• He criticizes CNN for being pro-Israeli.
• He claims that IDF soldiers deserve no sympathy and cannot suffer from PTSD. He even denounces IDF medics.
• He deduces that all IDF soldiers commit war crimes and kill civilians. This escalates to his statement that IDF soldiers are Nazis (I don’t know what to say anymore).
• He completely forgets about Israel’s mandatory conscription.
• He demonizes the IDF soldiers who post photos of themselves holding the possessions of evacuated or killed Gazans, yet he ignores Hamas’ beheading and rape videos.
• When discussing an IDF reservist who, after witnessing some horrible stuff in Gaza, committed suicide, he conflates “witnessing” with “committing” war crimes. Thus, this simple reservist, who drove a bulletproof bulldozer to demolish Gazan houses and accidentally ran over civilians or corpses, is labeled as a war criminal and Nazi.
• Even though the reservist fed starving Gazans while under fire from Hamas, Noah downplays his humanity.
• He described the reservist’s wife as a war criminal for living on a western settlement.
• The article states that the reservist was eager to serve, but Noah perceives this as volunteering.
• He claims that Israel is not a legitimate state.
• He states that the Gazan War should be renamed the “Gazan Genocide.” According to his logic, WWII be renamed to the “Jewish Genocide,” which is extremely retarded.
• Although the article explains that the IDF treats Hamas and Gazans the same because Hamas terrorists hide among civilians, Noah believes that CNN is labeling Gazans as terrorists to continue the genocide.
• He discredits an IDF medic who said that a typical IDF soldier’s perception of Gazan civilians changes once he is near them. All IDF soldiers are complicit in the genocide.
• He says that since the IDF lies, every IDF soldier is a liar. Would this make every Boeing whistleblower a liar?
• He asserts that Hamas has committed no war crimes. Also, Israel is responsible for the hostages.
• Finally, he shills a charity that funds an Arab friend.

Anyway, these are the most important points of the video. I hate Israel and Hamas equally, but I hate Noah’s retardation even more. He is somehow dumber than CNN, lacking any media literacy, research skills, or basic logic. In this video, he sounds like a gay clone of Hasan Piker.

Seriously, fuck these retarded faggots.

 

[Sargon's wife's son]

Seriously, fuck these retarded faggots.

If you would tell me that the only thing it took to break the left brains that make them unpalatable to the mainstream Democratic Party is a bunch of Jews being slaughtered I would say more Jews for the meat grinder I want another October 7

 

[Nod Flenders]

Noah Samsen has something in common with the alt-right, they both hate Israel.

 

[Albrecht von Wallenstein]

I never realized that Noah gave a shoutout to Hakim. Vaush’s ability to forge alliances between the worst people is astounding.

 

[RestoreDaFagYiff]

In a recent YouTube community post, Noah Samsen included a comment on his recent sports activities and some shirtless pictures. Behold, a faggot.
View attachment 6476883
View attachment 6476880


The comments under this post are interesting. There are some retards praising his progress and content, but there are some mocking him as a “fake nice guy.” Finally, people are beginning to recognize his grift.

Also, there are some thirst comments; however, knowing his audience, it is difficult to determine if they are biologically female.
View attachment 6476899

Knowing the sorry ass state of YouTube bot moderation I find it most likely they aren't even biologically human. I see these bots and worse everywhere on YT.

 

[Levitcus prime24]

I never realized that Noah gave a shoutout to Hakim. Vaush’s ability to forge alliances between the worst people is astounding.
View attachment 6560582

fed post:you know what, fuck it. I want trump to win. I wanna see these little shits cry and piss themselves as trump takes away their right fuck them

 

[Albrecht von Wallenstein]

Noah recorded another video on Gaza. I have not watched it yet, but I am assuming that he makes several retarded points about "media bias."

 

[Sargon's wife's son]

Noah recorded another video on Gaza. I have not watched it yet, but I am assuming that he makes several retarded points about "media bias."

more guns for Israel more bombs to be dropped on Palestinians

 

[Albrecht von Wallenstein]

Noah’s most recent video received a community guideline violation for showing a minor participating in a dangerous activity.

Spoiler: Noah Sperging Out

 

[Sneedposting]

This guy's gayer than Hasan lma

A "man" objectifying himself because he is starved for female recognition and validation on the Internet. Noah truly is for gender equality.

Men who thirstpost are 100% gay and I refuse to believe otherwise

 

[Albrecht von Wallenstein]

It has been a while since I posted on this thread. Life has been extremely busy, but I am back for the Christmas season and ready to ruin your holiday with Noah's retardation. Let's begin, shall we?

I noticed that - for roughly a month - Noah Samsen did not post a single video on recent internet drama. Most of his recent content exclusively covers the Israel-Palestine War.

Spoiler: Noah's Recent Gaza Videos

In general, this content feels similar to that of Badempanada, who is a close friend of Noah. Optically, focusing on the war in Gaza is probably a smart idea, as Noah has been relentlessly ass-raped by multiple content creators, including Rob's Media, for his retarded takes.

However, he released one video on internet drama, and it is formatted as a half-assed apology. He addresses the most recent video from Rob's Media, but he only focuses on the section about ChudLogic, specifically his threat to boil him in a cauldron. Noah not only reiterates his retraction of calling Chud a pedophile, but also retractes his accusation of ephebophilia, stating that he received backlash for misusing and misunderstanding this term. Despite giving this heartfelt apology, Noah still claims that Chud is a groomer because he was sexting a legal adult (huh?). Moreover, he engages in whataboutism and constructs an imaginary argument against Destiny's defense of Chud by pointing out Destiny's weird messages to girls. Although this video is supposed to be sincere, it still comes across as smug, and it barely touch's Rob's main argument. One of the worst apology videos I have ever seen. 0/10

Also, the video features an ad for a cock ring and fleshlight, for some reason.

 

[harmy.kook]

Also, the video features an ad for a cock ring and fleshlight, for some reason.

Come on man you know why: He's a F A G G O T

 

[Blue Gem Kosher Queen]

The only remarkable thing about Noah is that he clearly isn't retarded enough for his hypocrisy to be excused as you'll see him use the same tactics he accuses others of using but he does look pretty retarded nonetheless. He doesn't go out of his way to own the chuds like Peethan, he isn't a total bitch like Danny Gonzalez, he isn't a sociopath like Bad Empanada, not as pathetic as Jake Doolittle or Quinton.

Noah just is the Kroger version of what a breadtuber is.

 

[Verdigris]

I never realized that Noah gave a shoutout to Hakim. Vaush’s ability to forge alliances between the worst people is astounding.
View attachment 6560582

>Posts about Palestine.
>Endorses genocide denier
Are these niggas for real, lmao.

 

[Albrecht von Wallenstein]

Noah just is the Kroger version of what a breadtuber is.

From my interpretation, Noah Samsen is an almost mediocre BreadTuber. He is not egregiously evil, manipulative, or loud. He is a meek loser who has consistently retarded takes. Honestly, he is a lame version of BadEmpanada.

Also, I forgot to mention this in my previous post: In his response to Rob’s Media, Noah mentioned that he will distance himself from internet drama to focus primarily on the Israel-Palestine War. Personally, I believe that this is an indirect admission of defeat to Rob.

 

[Albrecht von Wallenstein]

I did not realize this. As such, I will include it in this thread.

After Noah made his response to Rob's Media and proclaimed his channel's new direction, Hasan decided to react to his video. As we are aware, Hasan is a complete retard who is somehow a bigger glue sniffer than Noah, and he completely fumbles in online discourse.

For instance, Noah renounced his previous claim and stated that ChudLogic is not an ephebophile; however, Hasan still labels Chud as such and ignores the obvious retraction. Indeed, he even claims that Hailey was a minor (she was 18 when she was communicating with Chud). Hasan's take on the situation is somehow more retarded than Noah's.

Though the video does include a segment on Noah, it mainly focuses on Destiny - Hasan's archenemy and rival. Since this is not the Hasan thread, I will refrain from including anymore irrelevant information.

 

[Hausu!]

In his response to Rob’s Media, Noah mentioned that he will distance himself from internet drama to focus primarily on the Israel-Palestine War.

I find it funny how his echo chamber (like usual) are meat riding him about this change as if he's some Messiah. A messiah who told a black person that she doesn't deserve have an opinion on her own race. He'll eventually return to regular content shit once people realize how fucking boring and retarded he is. Would be funny to eventually see his defense of ethanisretarded.

 

[Albrecht von Wallenstein]

Greetings, Kiwis. I hope that you had a great New Year’s holiday.

I haven’t been keeping close visual on Noah. Life has been really busy and such. However, I’m back with some juicy details.

As all of you are probably aware, Bluesky has gained popularity among retarded leftists, along with pedos and other undesirables. Among these leftists is our good friend, Noah. After being banned from X for issuing a death threat upon Elon Musk, he had no where to chimp out; however, that changed with Bluesky. Now, he can political sperg without any consequences, no matter how heinous the accusations or claims.

Link to his Bluesky account

So far, his posts have been tame. Still, it’s mostly stuff about the Gaza War. There are occasionally retarded statements from him, but they are nothing serious. Honestly, Noah has been extremely boring over these past two months. He has gotten into very little trouble, and he enjoys considerable views on his most recent videos, in which he avoids internet drama altogether.

I will share all the posts Noah has made since he activated his account. They are quite diverse: He denied the results of the US election, praised Bluesky’s freedom (lol), discussed the prospect of a leftist Joe Rogan, shouted out fellow BreadTubers (namely Hasan and BadEmpanada), claimed that the school from the new Wicked movie was like “Hitler University,” and talked about woke Peter Griffen. In all honesty, these posts are pretty tame for a BreadTuber. He is not extremely vitriolic, but he is still retarded. In fact, I would describe some posts as plain odd. It’s the typical “Look at me! I’m so quirky!” type of humor. It’s just not very amusing. The more serious posts, which discuss the Gaza War or Bluesky’s brilliance, are drowned out by his retardation.

Spoiler: Noah’s Posts

Have a happy rest of your holiday, my niggas.

 

[Albrecht von Wallenstein]

I found every person Noah is following on Bluesky. The list is quite interesting, as you may recognize a few names.

 

[Albrecht von Wallenstein]

This will be a triple post, and I apologize for it. However, I may have found some information on Noah Samsen.

While searching his name on the internet to find any possible accounts that I may have missed, I discovered a LinkedIn account that eerily matches his profile.

This Noah Samsen lives in the Greater Seattle Area and has a Bachelor of Arts from the University of Washington Tacoma, with a major in Communications and a minor in Film Studies. Moreover, he has been a self-employed director since 2016, and he has "skills" in editing. Importantly, the comments under his profile pertain to Noah Samsen videos.

I think that this is our man. Now, we know which schools he attended and some of his credentials. However, his personal details remain a mystery, which I cannot wait to see solved.

P.S. Noah and Hasan, funnily enough, have the same type of degree from college - a Bachelor's in Communications - that has little use in the real world. It is no wonder how these BreadTubers became unproductive faggots.

Spoiler: Evidence