Tess Holliday / Ryann Maegen Hoven - Beached Landwhale model, Body positive and social justice snacktivist, and gigantic fraud

[Barbarella]

Fit is a funny word when used by Tess. The dress was wrong, too tight. The pink jacket…is it a jacket my friends? It’s hard to tell because her arms are so big whatever shape it might have had has disappeared. Her shoes are ugly as always, her toenails too long but hands bare? Her nail style is not for everybody but it was the one thing I liked.

And WTF is that handbag??? It looks like something she picked up at the dollar store. She had an LV pink purse, she had to have sold it, otherwise it’d have been perfect. And those bangs were the worst decision she could have made. Her face now looks bloated.

To cap the fit off, in the first picture it looks like she’s holding a bag of chips. She probably is, I just didn’t bother stopping to look.

John Legend must be doing somebody a HUGE favor.

 

[Miltank]

@Barbarella

Chester’s flamin hot fries it seems

 

[The Hardest R]

John Legend must be doing somebody a HUGE favor.

His wife. Throughout this thread, we’ve seen Chrissy Teigen inviting Tess to parties, giving her gifts, etc. I’m sure it’s done under the guise of muh inclusion but Tubbers is the ultimate DUFF.

 

[My cravat doesn't flutter]

I was really looking forward to the TEDx Talk ChatGPT Tess wrote. She hasn't mentioned it once after the fact.

 

[NoReturn]

And WTF is that handbag??? It looks like something she picked up at the dollar store. She had an LV pink purse, she had to have sold it, otherwise it’d have been perfect. And those bangs were the worst decision she could have made. Her face now looks bloated.

It's supposed to be a swan, that is the extent of my knowledge.

 

[multiverse]

@Barbarella

Chester’s flamin hot fries it seems

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Has she had to give up shapewear with her bangs? Fats sweat a lot anyway, and shapewear strong enough for fupa control tends to increase body heat; is she foregoing shapewear to as not to sweat her bangs up?

Because Tess is usually the queen of cinching herself in, but here she's bulging out badly at the hips. Did she forget to shoop them? Has she exhausted the powers of shapewear?

 

[Constellationzero]

Every photo that we’ve been seeing these last several weeks of her has this extremely greasy look to it. I’m assuming that now it’s just pure Crisco coming out of these pores. Her bangs are another big fat failure, much like Tubbers herself.

I'm convinced (though Hooves is FAT) that people who get repeated cosmetic procedures end up looking greasier and greasier and greasier with each procedure.

Almost as if stressing the skin produces excess amounts of sebum through doubly stressed pores.

 

[IBrokeBob]

I'd tell Tess to stop dating and focus on her kid but we all know she's looking for financial support.
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Ooh shes mad at a man. That is an epic song for a woman singing about a man who did her wrong and she promises to haunt him forever. I dunno who tessie is singing this for but they better run.

I'll follow you down 'til the sound
Of my voice can haunt you
Oh, give me just a chance
You'll never get away from the sound
Of the woman that loves you
Oh, was I just a fool

I'll follow you down 'til the sound
Of my voice will haunt you
Give it just a chance
You'll never get away from the sound
Of the woman that loves you

 

[The Hardest R]

I was really looking forward to the TEDx Talk ChatGPT Tess wrote. She hasn't mentioned it once after the fact.

If even Tubby Tess herself doesn’t even want to talk about it, then it had to have been really bad.

Ooh shes mad at a man.

I just assume any man at this point is a prospective cake john. You can see her salivating at the prospects of being paid thousands of dollars to be the center of attention and doing what she does best: eating. Then to have those hopes dashed, I can see why she gets mad when things with a cake john fall through.

 

[UnfOrtuNatE BaskEtt]

Fat Kunt Not Dead Yet....

where's Cardiac Arrest when you need it...?

i remember this pig waddling in a fashion show....she had to walk beside the catwalk, cos she couldn't climb up...and it wasn't re-inforced...and all the fash-kunts there clapped for the fat slag....coz she had achieved something by walking in yt crocs...

Fuk Yr Byewtee Standardz

 

[Constellationzero]

@Barbarella

Chester’s flamin hot fries it seems

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Does this make her officially a nigger, or nigger adjacent?

 

[The Queen of Autists]

Ooh shes mad at a man. That is an epic song for a woman singing about a man who did her wrong and she promises to haunt him forever. I dunno who tessie is singing this for but they better run.

I'll follow you down 'til the sound
Of my voice can haunt you
Oh, give me just a chance
You'll never get away from the sound
Of the woman that loves you
Oh, was I just a fool

I'll follow you down 'til the sound
Of my voice will haunt you
Give it just a chance
You'll never get away from the sound
Of the woman that loves you

Fleetwood Mac silver spring

 

[Tragon Dirtle]

I don't think she picked the song to be that meaningful, I think it's just become a famous song for woman angry at ex after the silver springs live performance video became kind of a meme online.

How long has Tess been friends with Chrissy Teigen for? Chrissy got cancelled for bullying and I'm wondering if she keeps Tess around as a safe target to undermine. I'm wondering if she gave her that shrug or thin nightgown.

 

[yousoundlikeanasshole]

I don't think she picked the song to be that meaningful, I think it's just become a famous song for woman angry at ex after the silver springs live performance video became kind of a meme online.

How long has Tess been friends with Chrissy Teigen for? Chrissy got cancelled for bullying and I'm wondering if she keeps Tess around as a safe target to undermine. I'm wondering if she gave her that shrug or thin nightgown.

The sweater and dress are from Selkie and being that she's posting a discount code she was probably gifted the outfit. Too bad that as usual she didn't pick the correct size.

 

[The Hardest R]

How long has Tess been friends with Chrissy Teigen for? Chrissy got cancelled for bullying and I'm wondering if she keeps Tess around as a safe target to undermine. I'm wondering if she gave her that shrug or thin nightgown.

A search through this thread indicates Tess has been in Chrissy’s orbit since 2019. May have been earlier but Tubbers only started mentioning her five years ago.

 

[My cravat doesn't flutter]

Tubbers is the ultimate DUFF.

If you're ever feeling bad about your appearance, the Farms are the place to go for a confidence boost. We've got cows of every kind of ugly.

 

[barbie meat]

How long has Tess been friends with Chrissy Teigen for? Chrissy got cancelled for bullying and I'm wondering if she keeps Tess around as a safe target to undermine.

It's still crazy to me that she got cancelled for bullying, not for being a pedophile (Hollywood, I know, but it's still insane). Especially because the bullying and the weird pedo shit she said were both done openly on Twitter.

 

[DickMain]

If you're ever feeling bad about your appearance, the Farms are the place to go for a confidence boost. We've got cows of every kind of ugly.

Oh thank goodness I thought he meant the users ha ha

 

[NoReturn]

Tess is still mad about mystery guy.

Oh thank goodness I thought he meant the users ha ha

This may also be true.

 

[The Hardest R]

Assuming this guy is even real, it’s gotta be a cake john. She was hoping to get her tacky shit out of storage, stop living in hotels, and find a trendy place to live at.