I think the saddest part is that I don't think Tony is gay, I think he realized this is the best he'll ever do.
You know it's true, before getting with Zoooooey, Tony was all about how many lesbians he was going to commit rape by deception on and how he couldn't wait, he's been married to a woman before... he's a straight dude. He's not into men, he's just likely learned the hard way that even the handmaidenest of handmaiden lesbians doesn't want anything to do with his ditch and so has relegated himself to a marriage of political convenience, because being with Zoooey gives him cred and an "in" in trans politics that he wouldn't otherwise have. He is using that delusional gay man.
(Not that I feel sorry for Zooey, mind you. If he doesn't know what he's getting into by now, it's because he doesn't
want to know. He could've just been a normal gay dude instead of being... whatever the fuck that is. A man in a marginally more fitting dress than his heterosexual husband. And so he has lost any sympathy he might have otherwise gotten.)
Also lol those dresses. I'm saving their wedding pic to jumpscare my partner with later. I'm gonna get cussed out.
But really, did either of these guys look in the mirror before they wandered out on stage? Probably not, because y'know,
men. Tony looks like his dress came from Aliexpress and still has the tags on, and Zooey is only marginally better - but only in the waist/hips, those spaghetti strings just make his enormous shoulders look even wider and manlier. The v-necks showing off their masculine flat chests and the way it's beyond clear neither of them had someone come do their hair or makeup for them just makes it all even worse. They allegedly planned this for months? It screams "last minute with no budget" to me.
Seriously who told them that deep v-necks were a smart play here? Did they do it because they love us and want to bring us laughter? I mean, if so,
totally worked...
