Careercow Brandon "Bam" Margera - From Jackass to Lolcow

One thing I kind of admire Bam for is his ability to talk so much shit and just accept the beating that will ensue because he has no idea how to fight.
When you’re drunk and high nonstop, you don’t feel anything so you can talk as much shit as you want!
Sugar foot.
Many people don’t consider all the sugar in alcohol. Given how much he drinks, it’s like choosing to drink Coca Cola all day. Little wonder why he looks like he’s diabetic.
 
Didn't that stem from Stallone because he wanted to fuck princess Diana but Gere snagged her?

As far as I'm concerned, Gere allegedly doing that is canon now.
Stallone had the rumor that there was a porn where he sucked his own dick.

This came about because Stallone, as a struggle actor, acted in a softcore film that was turned into a full porno, called "The Italian Stallion" right after Rocky made it big. It was originally called "The Party at Kitty and Stud's". This was years before he made it big.

No idea if the self sucking scene even existed in the film.
 
Obligatory holiday “look at me I’m a father” post from the captiancremebrulee account. Comment section is mostly cordial because Phoenix is involved. This picture is likely rehashed from years ago, but I cannot help but notice all of the craft plastic bracelets and watch on Phoenix’s wrist. Bam really does think his gaudy baubles and trinkets are cool and is forcing that shit upon his son. I’m surprised Bam didn’t hit up little vending machines in front of the local grocery store and buy out all of the 50 cent toy rings for him to wear.

Merry Christmas

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This picture is likely rehashed from years ago, but I cannot help but notice all of the craft plastic bracelets and watch on Phoenix’s wrist. Bam really does this his gaudy baubles and trinkets are cool and is forcing that shit upon his son.
now i have an idea, and y'all are probably gonna think im insane; but maybe, just maybe, phoenix is a child and idk perhaps made those on his own? had friends in school make them for him? i know it's an insane thing to consider, but it's just a hunch
 
now i have an idea, and y'all are probably gonna think im insane; but maybe, just maybe, phoenix is a child and idk perhaps made those on his own? had friends in school make them for him? i know it's an insane thing to consider, but it's just a hunch
Nice idea. I have one too. Maybe, just maybe, Bam is the ‘friend’ who made those bracelets for him, because he certainly isn’t a father to his own son.
 
Obligatory holiday “look at me I’m a father” post from the captiancremebrulee account. Comment section is mostly cordial because Phoenix is involved. This picture is likely rehashed from years ago, but I cannot help but notice all of the craft plastic bracelets and watch on Phoenix’s wrist. Bam really does think his gaudy baubles and trinkets are cool and is forcing that shit upon his son. I’m surprised Bam didn’t hit up little vending machines in front of the local grocery store and buy out all of the 50 cent toy rings for him to wear.

Merry Christmas

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Is that the buy from never ending story?
 
It just sucks for Pheonix that he has a retarded name to go along with his Greta Thunberg syndrome, and it's all because he had the misfortune of his parents being who they are.

Something just dawned on me. This crazy bitch i know who liked HIM and CKY back in the day and invited me to go to one of their shows.....named her fucking kid after bams kid. What a retard.
 
Something just dawned on me. This crazy bitch i know who liked HIM and CKY back in the day and invited me to go to one of their shows.....named her fucking kid after bams kid. What a retard.
I hope that kid just claims his parents were huge Tekken fans. It’s be less embarrassing to be named after (Paul) Phoenix. Or maybe just claim your named after the Arizona city?
 
now i have an idea, and y'all are probably gonna think im insane; but maybe, just maybe, phoenix is a child and idk perhaps made those on his own? had friends in school make them for him? i know it's an insane thing to consider, but it's just a hunch
Bamuel’s “art” is so childlike I don’t blame someone for thinking he actually made it for his son. Although that’s probably more effort than he’d ever make for his son as well.
 
Bamuel’s “art” is so childlike I don’t blame someone for thinking he actually made it for his son. Although that’s probably more effort than he’d ever make for his son as well.
don't get me wrong, im not dismissing the possibility that bam made them. i just feel it's even a bigger possibility that phoenix made them himself or had a classmate made them for him, considering his age and that age group has a tendency to gravitate towards creativity and crafting
 
I'm not saying this to be cruel because it's really low to pick on kids, but there's something syndrome-y about poor Phoenix's face. Having a stupid name is the least bad thing he inherited from his parents.
Bam had a syndrome looking face too as a kid, he definitely share a passing a resemblance to Phoenix The Wolf. I found a fun Jackass Kids image.
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Here’s hoping in 10 years time Phoenix will be beating up Bam for our amusement.
 
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