My partner nearly died after 0.3% chance complications
First off, let me say that he is okay now, but it was really scary and idk where else to vent about it
Obviously trigger warning for graphic description
Okay so, gonna try to keep it short but yknow… Anyway, two weeks ago my partner had extended meta.
He still very much needs my help when he goes to pee, and yesterday when he went to pee something happened. As I went to the kitchen to throw away his bandages (they need to be replaced every pee time) and I was washing my hands, I heard moaning from the toilet. I went to check it out cuz he didn’t respond to his name and he never moans, so it was really unusual. When I opened the door he was lying against the wall completely collapsed, eyes open. It was such a scary sight. He was moaning so I knew he wasn’t dead, BUT HE LOOKED DEAD.
I studied to be a nurse and although I quit due to medical reasons, I knew this was not okay.
But he has POTS and insisted he was okay. I didn’t agree but couldn’t force him to call an ambulance. We first got him back to bed with our other partner, and after a while we decided to call his GP. It is a long story on how things went from there, we got sent from one GP to the next for almost an hour, so eventually we decided to ‘just’ call an ambulance. Good thing we did, because we were in hospital at like 11 ish, and he got a diagnosis at like 17:00, didn’t get a room until like 19:00, and our other partner and I weren’t home until 21:00. It was a LONG fucking day.
Turned out he had multiple pulmonary emboli (blood clots in the artery to the lungs). That’s why he collapsed when he exerted himself, and why he went blind for about 10 minutes after.
Anyway, he is fine now, being monitored for 2 days now and will have to stay a bit longer, but man it was so scary.
All day I had to pretend to be fine, for both of my partners, but I knew it wasn’t fine. I KNOW how severe blood clots can be, especially pulmonary blood clots. I knew if we had waited a day he most likely would have died. He didn’t even just have one, but many. They were still small, but they were having quite an effect on his heart.
When we finally got home (other partner and I) and had some food, I completely shut down. I mean full mental breakdown, went mute, full on panic cry, manic laughter, that is when it really hit me how scary it was that he looked dead, and how scary it was knowing if we had waited a day he would have most likely been dead.
He’s been my best friend for 2,5 years and we recently started dating, and I cannot imagine what I would have done if he had died.
Not to mention how guilty I felt. I know I was still in training when I quit, but I felt so guilty for not realising sooner that he had blood clots.
He also has one in his leg they think. They’re gonna confirm tomorrow by echo. He has had a pain in that leg for a week (although when they checked yesterday it was fine, but today it was also swollen so now they def think he has one).
I feel so guilty, like I could have prevented it or known sooner that he wasn’t okay. I don’t know what I would have done if he had died. I never would have forgiven myself if he had died.
I have seen so many patients die in front of my eyes, and although that was also big, I was fine, cuz I didn’t know them. But my partner? I completely freaked out. I literally cried for hours.
I also stood for almost 12 hours straight, and
normally I walk with a cane and use a wheelchair because after 10 minutes of standing my body physically collapsed and my legs basically fall out from underneath me. So last night when I was finally home and in bed, I was in so much extreme pain. It was literally so painful my legs felt like they were ice on the inside. Not even stabbing or throbbing anymore, they felt like pure ice. I was shivering from being cold but my partner said my skin felt hot. It was such an extreme pain I have never felt before. Also having to do 6 stairs on top of 12 hours of standing reaaaally didn’t help either…
Anyway uh, thanks for reading, I just needed to get this off. I couldn’t tell either of my partners. I told them both how scary it was that he looked dead, but I can’t fully tell them the scope of it all.
Thank you and if anyone has tips on how to cope with this then please let me know and I hope you have a wonderful day
Forgot to mention but he does have a family history of blood clots, and it is only a 0.3% chance of this happening to anyone, so please don’t feel discouraged to get surgery, but definitely be aware that any type of chest pain, shortness of breath, excessive sweating, or pain in the lower leg can indicate blood clots and you need to get it checked out asap!
