Margaret Pless / idlediletante / Stan - Official Kiwi Farms Advertiser and Enthusiast Who Has Proudly Eaten Ass. Now Posting Her Tits to Own the Troons!

[AgendaPoster]

RFK Jr. is the reason I was able to row the Hudson River Sound 6x wk in 2011-2012 without dying of some weird exogenic toxicity. YES I had cold and flu sx often cause of normal infectious process but within regional politics, RFK Jr. is the reason the Hudson is clean-ish nowadays. People like me who depended on that remember it.

This is the sort of info that's valuable to people like me, who do not live there, and only see these people on podcasts and online.
Cheers.

 

[Stan]

This is the sort of info that's valuable to people like me, who do not live there, and only see these people on podcasts and online.
Cheers.

Cleaning up local waterways and watesheds used to be his brand, then he switched to antivaxx stuff and later on Trump stuff. But I'll still respect the guy who made the Hudson and Harlem splash non-toxic.

 

[DefinitelyNotMe]

Hello
One little kiwi knocked to me and asked to me to pass something to you during this jolly time.
Merry Christmas and happy New Year @Stan

 

[Stan]

delightful! I will print it out and frame it, Merry Christmas!

 

[dick brain]

It's very funny to me that she's basically Walter Sobchak from The Big Lebowski, a fat raving lunatic prone to unprompted pseudointellectual sociopolitical rants who pretends to be jewish because they can't let go of their jewish ex.

 

[Stan]

Why is it every time I ask my husband to take a turn watching Tilly, five minutes lates she ends up screaming alone in the foyer or crawling up the stairs to come find me? I don't think it's only because I am the fun and superior parent. I think Alex just zones in to whatever he's doing at the computer ('cause he's the master of the universe, don'cha know, much too important with important business to do chores, or to meaningfully watch his kid, or set up childproofing, or open his mail, or to listen to his wife when she advises him repeatedly that Bear is a dog, not a pig, and can't tolerate eating spicy, oily foods like mapo tofu, causing the dog to vomit on the carpet, which he's also too important and busy to clean up.)

I'm being a little harsh 'cause he does put her to bed every night, but still. He sleeps 'til 11 most days and then takes an hour-long toilette. He has mostly relied on his parents to move in with us and pick up the slack wrt childcare. My MIL lived with us for six months starting 3 weeks before Tilly's birth, she stayed w me 24/7 postpartum in hospital (I love her), and then Stella came back for another 6-month stint this summer and fall to act as Tilly's Mandarin-speaking early childhood educator. My FIL is a reasonably important CEO to a China SEO, and therefore less free to travel out of the country, but he still racked up four weeks here in May and June doing much the same job as Stella, and that's not counting the full month we spent in China, where both paternal grandparents attended to Tilly. Being the only child, Alex is very used to his elders waiting on him, and IMO he kinda exploits them and doesn't feel too bad about it because he thinks filial piety means the elders are obligated to take care of their kids' babies. And when my in-laws' visa allotments ran out, I organized and started sending Tilly to a daycare six hours a day, five days per week, and Alex is the greater beneficiary from that*, whereas I had to take on additional tasks around my existing day job like lunch-packing and drop-off everyday and often pick-up as well. There are some days where he won't clear the sink in the kitchen if I ask him to, even though Tilly's at daycare and there's really no imposition on his time other than his self-employed job.

I hate it, but I feel powerless to change his behavior. He knows I am too angry at divorce as a practice to ever leave short of him beating me to an inch of my life, and I don't think that divorce would make him a better child-carer anyway; I'd just have primary custody and no claim to the riches he says he's earning while disencumbered from Tilly-caring. WWYD? How do I train him to do more childcare and chores and shit when he knows any chore he derelicts will be taken over by me before it reaches a critical mass? How do you even negotiate with moids when their expectation is that you will do all of the things by default? Historically, even my boyfriends have gotten lazier when they were together with me, expecting them to wash their dirty socks if they threw them in my laundry basket. I can't imagine a woman doing that and expecting to get her socks back clean and laundered.

Was the answer "don't get married"? Then I wouldn't have Tilly... this is such a mess.

 

[crazedaze]

Was the answer "don't get married"? Then I wouldn't have Tilly...

I am too angry at divorce as a practice to ever leave

You have a child with a useless moid. Of course you shouldn't have married him, and you should have the insight to understand that breeding with a useless moid who will make you forever miserable is not worth it. You'd have been better off getting sperm from an anon donor since at least you wouldn't have had to put up with him, clean up after him like mommy and fuck him.
Of course you should divorce. He will never change.
But you would rather suffer because you feel like that's noble. Now I'm not telling you not to complain, but if this is the life you are going to embark in and give yourself no out from, my advice would be to learn to enjoy it. I hear there are pills for that.

 

[Stan]

@crazed

You have a child with a useless moid. Of course you shouldn't have married him, and you should have the insight to understand that breeding with a useless moid who will make you forever miserable is not worth it. You'd have been better off getting sperm from an anon donor since at least you wouldn't have had to put up with him, clean up after him like mommy and fuck him.
Of course you should divorce. He will never change.
But you would rather suffer because you feel like that's noble. Now I'm not telling you not to complain, but if this is the life you are going to embark in and give yourself no out from, my advice would be to learn to enjoy it. I hear there are pills for that.

It makes perfect sense. It wasn't as if I was unaware how bad moids could be, or the foibles of this specific man; I knew him since he was too young to want a partner. Perhaps I thought I could manipulate him. He was pretty forthright about wanting to marry me from the start, knowing that other moids warned me.

"He wanted to marry you, that's why he brought it up so soon, even if he blamed you for wearing a red dress on the first date." My Chinese labmate "Bernie" was pretty clear that he thought Alex's insistence that I wanted to marry him on the first date was some kinda reverse psychology tactic natural to FOBs who want to convince 'big foreign mares' (this is a byword for western women to chinamen) to marry them.

I mean, not all of us are Mary, blessed among women, able to have a precious holy child despite not being defiled by a man. Tilly is precious to me beyond stones or precious metal. And yet, the husbandly laziness, and my inability to really motivate him to work as an equal partner, are annoying to me. I think this is a real front which many women would enjoy if men suddenly took housework and childcare as seriously as their wives do. And I do think women deserve a better deal than being the expected catch-all of unexpected chores and tasks. It makes us the servant of the family and we don't have to be.

 

[AgendaPoster]

Marge, keep in mind marriage is about compromise and long term resilience, don't do anything retarded out of minor frustrations and because of "advice" from members of a forum that's host to some of the most maladjusted people existing on the planet.
Be smart, use your wiles to extract what you want from men, and set your expectations at a realistic level that acknowledges humans are deeply flawed and imperfect.

 

[Herr Flick]

@Stan

This isn't your blog. You have vomited a wall of powerleveling at a group of strangers who do not care about the simultaneously privileged and retarded situation you got yourself into and are unable and unwilling to leave.

If your husband is a worthless fuck but too moneyed for you to want to leave him (????), use his money to hire a maid and a nanny instead of bitching about it on the Kiwi Farms. Lord have mercy.

 

[fake farts]

WWYD?

Never be in your situation in the first place, lmao.

He knows I am too angry at divorce as a practice to ever leave

Why? Religion? You've proven he's useless. What do you have to lose with a divorce? Money that he says he's making? Why don't you know? I'd rather be poor and free with my child than rich and me and my child trapped with a useless scrotoid.

short of him beating me to an inch of my life

You already confessed he punches walls. Violence escalates. Being beaten within an inch of your life is a very real possibility for you.

 

[Stan]

Why? Religion? You've proven he's useless. What do you have to lose with a divorce? Money that he says he's making? Why don't you know? I'd rather be poor and free with my child than rich and me and my child trapped with a useless scrotoid.

The knowledge that divorces are always a rift in your child's life that hurts them, compared to your parents growing up and learning to get along. The purpose and vow-greement that you're in this for keeps. IMO if you divorce you're transferring relationship stress and its politics onto your kids to relieve your own issues.

You already confessed he punches walls. Violence escalates. Being beaten within an inch of your life is a very real possibility for you.

I think that would be reasonably difficult to do; I got a knife. I would not lay down and let Alex kill me for tax reasons or whatever. I doubt that he would be up to that no matter the potential reward. He's already a young lord, to quote what his chinese worker bees call him.

You have vomited a wall of powerleveling at a group of strangers

What, strangers, after all this time? I don't think so.

 

[Thé au lait]

advises him repeatedly that Bear is a dog, not a pig, and can't tolerate eating spicy, oily foods like mapo tofu, causing the dog to vomit on the carpet, which he's also too important and busy to clean up

Why is it every time I ask my husband to take a turn watching Tilly, five minutes lates she ends up screaming alone in the foyer or crawling up the stairs to come find me?

to do chores, or to meaningfully watch his kid, or set up childproofing, or open his mail, or to listen to his wife

used to his elders waiting on him

he won't clear the sink in the kitchen if I ask him to

None of this is acceptable at all, do his parents not know about this? Especially if he's from Chongqing there's literally no excuse for any of this, Sichuan is literally famous for understanding that there is an expectation to take care of and listen to your wife. He has literally no excuse, what the actual fuck?

He knows I am too angry at divorce as a practice to ever leave

I'd like to first ask what your issue is with regard to divorce, (see edit) but more importantly he's very brazenly exploiting the fact that you have feelings against it.
Combined with this:

Alex is very used to his elders waiting on him, and IMO he kinda exploits them and doesn't feel too bad about it because he thinks filial piety means the elders are obligated to take care of their kids' babies

I am 100% beyond certain that he knows what he's doing. He knows none of what he's doing is what he should, none of it is right, but he's seeing decency and morality he can exploit in others and doing so.

short of him beating me to an inch of my life

I know I've said this before but his little tantrum is a threat at this, there is no other reason he's going to destroy the furniture just for the fuck of it.
Please keep your safety in mind, and even if not your own safety then your daughter's. Please make sure your MIL knows what's going on because this isn't normal, and this sure as shit isn't acceptable. It's not safe, and he contributes less than nothing anyway besides danger.

I think that would be reasonably difficult to do; I got a knife. I would not lay down and let Alex kill me for tax reasons or whatever.

I'm sorry but a knife is not nearly as useful as you think and the fact that you even need to keep a knife on you to protect yourself from your husband is genuinely disturbing.

I doubt that he would be up to that no matter the potential reward.

You overestimate men. I'm sorry but you are being insanely optimistic, every woman I've ever known who thought like this ended up being brutalized for her faith in scrotes.

He's already a young lord, to quote what his chinese worker bees call him.

That's not a good thing, that's a term for someone who doesn't know consequences because they're too insulated by money. These are the men who go around casually gangraping women, everybody knows, but nothing ever happens because their victims are fucking buried if they say a word.


Edit: I don't agree at all. Being stuck with a parent who mistreats you is much, much worse on a child than being raised without them. Having your parents pretend like being in a neglectful or abusive relationship is somehow normal or acceptable over getting the fuck out and being safe is a horrible example to set for a child and it will absolutely affect her later.

 

[2mm and 99 others]

I think that would be reasonably difficult to do; I got a knife. I would not lay down and let Alex kill me for tax reasons or whatever.

Then, in the better case enjoy dealing with the justice system that was discussed many times here regarding self-defense.

Anyway, I propose a new sticker, I made it now just for you.

 

[crazedaze]

The knowledge that divorces are always a rift in your child's life that hurts them, compared to your parents growing up and learning to get along. The purpose and vow-greement that you're in this for keeps. IMO if you divorce you're transferring relationship stress and its politics onto your kids to relieve your own issues.

I asked for AI-'s help in replying to this

You don't "know" that divorce is "always" a rift that hurts them. You listen to moids too much. I would recommend therapy to help parse out what it is you actually know and what you are telling yourself to keep yourself stuck that's not based in reality.
Seeing her mother run around like a chicken with her head cut off serving a moid with no respect, just to stay married and fulfill some twisted sense of obligation, vs. Seeing a mother thriving and taking care of herself and living a happy life. That's the day to day. Divorce is an event with an end. The day to day is what'll shape her view of herself. You decide.

 

[fake farts]

The knowledge that divorces are always a rift in your child's life that hurts them, compared to your parents growing up and learning to get along. The purpose and vow-greement that you're in this for keeps.

Past a certain point, there is no "learning to getting along", you're just a slave to a manchild growing older. I am a child of divorce, and I will tell you flatly: I'm glad my mother did it. It's not out of hatred towards my father, but because she - and my brother and I - would have wound up a lot worse had they remained together. In order for her to be where she needed to be, it meant a divorce. And I never faulted her for it, never felt anger.

IMO if you divorce you're transferring relationship stress and its politics onto your kids to relieve your own issues.

The same can be said for people who stay together who are not in love, in relationships that are abusive, or disordered. You are in a disordered relationship. You cling to him out of some sense of obligation, some belief that otherwise you're child will become traumatized or broken. Perhaps, and it seems to me, it's also out of sheer consumerist need for monetary security. A child sees this too, and the stress will still transfer. A child, a girl, growing up witnessing deadbeat daddy who can't even be assed to tend to her for five minutes, making this money you claim he has. What will that show her? Her view of men is already disordered from jump.

No matter what we tell you, you will stay like this though. You will maintain an already broken, dysfunctional household, because you are scared. You use vows and a contract as an excuse, but really it's fear. Many women have lived in fear before you, and many will after. Walking through that door and becoming free is far easier than women think.

 

[Friend of Dorothy Parker]

The knowledge that divorces are always a rift in your child's life that hurts them, compared to your parents growing up and learning to get along. The purpose and vow-greement that you're in this for keeps. IMO if you divorce you're transferring relationship stress and its politics onto your kids to relieve your own issues.

If you feel that way, then get to growing up and relieving your own issues, and stop complaining.

Sometimes divorce is the better choice. Maybe not in your case, but then, is kvetching online about a terrible day-to-day really better?

I think that would be reasonably difficult to do; I got a knife. I would not lay down and let Alex kill me for tax reasons or whatever.

THIS is a dynamic you think is healthy and sustainable?

You're either bullshitting/exaggerating or enabling and coping hard.

 

[Herr Flick]

What, strangers, after all this time? I don't think so.

No one on the Kiwi Farms is your friend, and the ones who pretend they are (in your thread and dms especially) least of all. Please don’t be stupid.

 

[crazedaze]

"Use your wiles"
Doesn't matter how many whipped cream maraschino cherries ice cube blowjobs you give him, he will never change because you've already "trained" him. This is it.

 

[lego racers]

keep in mind marriage is about compromise

what compromise is there in neglect and violent outbursts? running defense for an abusive man you don't even know.

long term resilience, don't do anything retarded out of minor frustrations

acknowledges humans are deeply flawed and imperfect.

wrong and wrong. neglecting the child, the dog, and the household in general is not minor, and every human being 'flawed' does not allow a husband free reign to break furniture like a retarded ape around a child.