Tiffany Skylar Johnston / Zoey Willow / aumiist / emoboyfucker69 / mitsuwah / dollienarc / mitsufan / Splatinist / xKiwifarmjoshx (and many more) - "3rd generation Florida man", Delusional Mitsuba Sousuke spammer, 2edgy4u emo fujoshi, Oversharing autist, Sockpuppet hydra, Grimy worm-infested zoo animal, Crackpot schizo, Genuine Cautionary Tale About Childhood Internet Usage, Objectfucker

[Racist Parrot]

Of course she struggles eating watermelon. Why wouldn't she make something so easy a monkey can do it into an ordeal?

 

[Procrastinhater]

New stories, Zoey thought something outside was burning
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So Zoey is just stupid and doesn't realize she can just cut the watermelon. Ironic, considering her legs are pretty familiar with that,
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Thats not a good sign. Pretty sure smelling burning when theres nothing actually burning is a sign of a brain bleed.

 

[Kerry]

So Zoey is just stupid and doesn't realize she can just cut the watermelon. Ironic, considering her legs are pretty familiar with that,
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I'm imagining a large watermelon slice. Assuming she is too incapable of slicing it into smaller pieces for whatever reason, can she not use a fork or a spoon to eat it instead of digging in and eating it like an animal?
If watermelon is what she desires, but can't slice it into smaller pieces, there are alternatives. I don't know if something similar exists in the US, but over here, restaurants and stores that have buffet sections also offer fruit/veggie buffets. 90% of the time the selection includes small, square shaped watermelon pieces. She could try going through local food establishments to see if any of them offer something like that.
Or maybe try watermelon juice or watermelon-flavored water? There are options here.

 

[Jarl Varg]

Thats not a good sign. Pretty sure smelling burning when theres nothing actually burning is a sign of a brain bleed.

She must've dropped her crack/meth pipe, and not realized it.

 

[Manny Pardo]

 

[Schizoid Wife]

We're so close to getting an "enjoy prison, stalker"

She's gotten plenty of those.

 

[UnFuNnYmEmE]

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she's probably being followed by store security because she steals so much

 

[DickMain]

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She finally got a normal amount of sleep, that's good.

 

[Racist Parrot]

You just never know where she's gunna go next. I love it.

 

[Toji Suzuhara]

The consequences of waking up at noon:


I'm surprised that nobody tried to hit on her while at Walmart:

 

[Schizoid Wife]

I'm surprised that nobody tried to hit on her while at Walmart:

I have a feeling we're going to get an abundance of "my family is being weird wtf why" posts during the holidays.

That is, if she spends them with anyone.

 

[StoopidFookingHamsterFace]

She seems like she'd fall into the 'kid trap' of blow off all family gatherings (because she thinks they'll totally uncool) instead going for her 'internet following' on Instagram/Twitter (fuck me if I call it xeeting) to post about how she's only drank energy drink for the past 3 days while seeing these 'weird shadows on 3 hours of sleep' (or something like that)

Hopefully even if she hates her Mom (valid or not) she can maybe spend sometime with her uncle who seems to be the only other family who is still around in her life this holiday season. She's really stupid, but still young so I really hope she has some support structure this holiday season (and into the future *rainbow*)

Merry Christmas all, (except for you, Talbot, because fuck you pedophile)

 

[Schizoid Wife]

She seems like she'd fall into the 'kid trap' of blow off all family gatherings (because she thinks they'll totally uncool) instead going for her 'internet following' on Instagram/Twitter (fuck me if I call it xeeting) to post about how she's only drank energy drink for the past 3 days while seeing these 'weird shadows on 3 hours of sleep' (or something like that)

Hopefully even if she hates her Mom (valid or not) she can maybe spend sometime with her uncle who seems to be the only other family who is still around in her life this holiday season. She's really stupid, but still young so I really hope she has some support structure this holiday season (and into the future *rainbow*)

Merry Christmas all, (except for you, Talbot, because fuck you pedophile)

There are a few routes I could see this going.

1. Stays at home all day and schizoposts, attempting to create drama for other people like every other day

2. Stays with mother, sudden uptick in violent fantasies and/or suicide baiting

3. Stays with uncle and/or other non-negligent family member, hopefully does not lose her cool and acts somewhat normal

---

New story, apparently she nearly gets hit by a car multiple times a week.

 

[NerdShamer]

Is it wrong that I'm still stuck at the fact that she can't cut open an watermelon to save her own life?

 

[Autism Contractor]

I honestly hope ZoZo has a good Christmas. She's a lil odd but in a goofy way. I think honestly she's a good case study for baring all kids from Japanese media. There's a reason they're all so cooked over there and we don't want it here.

 

[Sandnigger]

I honestly hope ZoZo has a good Christmas. She's a lil odd but in a goofy way. I think honestly she's a good case study for baring all kids from Japanese media. There's a reason they're all so cooked over there and we don't want it here.

That's such a shit take. She'd have been fucked in the head no matter what kind of media was available.

Also, either drivers in Florida are legendarily bad or Zoey is legit paranoid and sees any car driving on the first lane coming to run her over.

 

[AltisticRight]

ew story, apparently she nearly gets hit by a car multiple times a week.

Zo-zo, let me introduce you to the vibrant subreddit called r/fuckcars.
You'll fit right in with the rest of us faggots.

 

[Vibe_Guy]

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Cop: "Ma'am. You've been loitering infront of the 7/11 for the past 5 hours. I'm going to have to ask you to leave."

Zoey turning to invisible camera: "Chat, is this real?"

---

Zoey later after dodging a truck in the walmart parking lot:

 

[NerdShamer]

Cop: "Ma'am. You've been loitering infront of the 7/11 for the past 5 hours. I'm going to have to ask you to leave."

Zoey turning to invisible camera: "Chat, is this real?"

Don't be ridiculous. She'll just take off running as soon as she sees the cop pulling in for an perfectly routine lunch break.

 

[Cheesy Beavy]

Also, either drivers in Florida are legendarily bad or Zoey is legit paranoid and sees any car driving on the first lane coming to run her over.

These both can be true at the same time.