Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[lindsayfan]

imagine if you were dating someone jack-adjacent and they were like "come over to my uncle's house for christmas, he's a famous youtube chef!" you'd be expecting a yule feast fit for a king and then when you arrive there's half-dead sped spud jack in his scooter going "i embdied a can of beans into a bowl and tammy browned da grounbeef, help yourselphhh."

 

[Agamemnon Busmalis]

Jack likes eating, not cooking. Most of the stuff he makes is easy (season then toss it in the smoker or in a crockpot, then eat when it's "cooked.") The taco bar where most of the toppings are pre-packaged is a typical Jack thing: the most amount of food with the least amount of labor.

I wouldn't mind a taco bar on Christmas whatsoever as long as they're good. For us it's always been a lot more laid back vs. Thanksgiving.

But this is Jack.

 

[AltisticRight]

Can you imagine what a Lazy Man Taco recipe would look like? Probably just store bought Doritos crushed and baked with loads of cheese, maybe a jalapeno, some minced meat, and loads of store bought sour cream.

 

[AnOminous]

Can you imagine what a Lazy Man Taco recipe would look like? Probably just store bought Doritos crushed and baked with loads of cheese, maybe a jalapeno, some minced meat, and loads of store bought sour cream.

Enough jalapenos to make sure Tammy couldn't eat it and he could gorge like a pig at a trough.

 

[p1138]

Can you imagine what a Lazy Man Taco recipe would look like? Probably just store bought Doritos crushed and baked with loads of cheese, maybe a jalapeno, some minced meat, and loads of store bought sour cream.

Yes, I can imagine. Except he doesn't even bake it together.

Because tacos are just so hard to eat.

 

[Whaler]

Can you imagine what a Lazy Man Taco recipe would look like? Probably just store bought Doritos crushed and baked with loads of cheese, maybe a jalapeno, some minced meat, and loads of store bought sour cream.

Yes, I can imagine. Except he doesn't even bake it together.

Because tacos are just so hard to eat.

This is actually a thing in some places and it's called a Taco salad. I had it at a restaurant a few years back and it wasn't bad, but I'd rather just eat a normal taco if I'm in the mood for one. You can replace the broken up taco shells with broken up Doritos of a flavor you like for a different taste. I really do question some of the culinary choices people make though.

 

[Aunt Carol]

Can you imagine what a Lazy Man Taco recipe would look like? Probably just store bought Doritos crushed and baked with loads of cheese, maybe a jalapeno, some minced meat, and loads of store bought sour cream.

Other than the baking, that sounds a lot like a Walking Taco, which is definitely a Lazy Man thing and could probably be based on a single-serving bag of pork rinds. Wonder why Jack doesn't film a recipe for a Walking--oh, shit. That was insensitive; sorry.

 

[Doctor of Autism]

Jack talks about Christmas movies



I'm pretty sure if someone can make bacon weaves, they can wrap gifts properly, not like Jack can do either



I know he's probably talking about the shitty Netflix Death Note and the Decent One Piece adaptation, but Jack getting into anime would be funny, He'd probably look to Luffy as a "literally me" character for eating shitloads of meat

 

[lindsayfan]

comments on jack's videos that make fun of jack are getting more likes than the videos themselves.



also i had to look up the toy story 2 reference but yeah, aside from the "use of both arms" thing, spot on.

 

[p1138]

I know he's probably talking about the shitty Netflix Death Note and the Decent One Piece adaptation, but Jack getting into anime would be funny, He'd probably look to Luffy as a "literally me" character for eating shitloads of meat

LOL, that's actually a hilarious thought. With as many anime as there are about cooking, shit like Dungeon Meshi, Isekai Shokudou, Shokugan no Soma, Cooking in Another World, etc. he'd definitely go for One Piece due to Luffy just eating huge piles of meat like a retard.

 

[ddlloo]

I know he's probably talking about the shitty Netflix Death Note and the Decent One Piece adaptation, but Jack getting into anime would be funny, He'd probably look to Luffy as a "literally me" character for eating shitloads of meat

View attachment 6785844

Keep him the FUCK away from my weebery!
The COD niggers and Blues Clues fandom can keep him!

 

[Hot CILF in your area]

I wonder, if fatty's next stroke causes him to lose his sense of taste (if it doesn't outright kill him) if he would still enjoy eating. I'd say yes, if it's not the sodium burn, taste of ash or MSG overloads or whatever that would cause him to strokegasm, it'd be the mouthfeel of raw chicken, the moistness of his shitty wretched chilis, hell, even just the feeling of his gullet being stretched wide as chunks of food, lubed up with plenty of butter, of course, are worked down his esophagus.

Apologies for that very, very islamic mental imagery, but Christmas celebrations in the household have pretty much concluded and this Cryptid has had a couple glasses.

On that note, I want to bestow my very humble blessings upon my fellow Farmers, whether you've celebrated already or have yet to celebrate. May you have peace, good food, and happiness in these days.

Merry Christmas everyone!

 

[AnOminous]

I wonder, if fatty's next stroke causes him to lose his sense of taste (if it doesn't outright kill him) if he would still enjoy eating.

What sense of taste? He recently said a raw leathery steak covered in the contents of a hotel lobby ashtray (back when they had those) and some salt was delicious.

 

[Doctor of Autism]

LOL, that's actually a hilarious thought. With as many anime as there are about cooking, shit like Dungeon Meshi, Isekai Shokudou, Shokugan no Soma, Cooking in Another World, etc. he'd definitely go for One Piece due to Luffy just eating huge piles of meat like a retard.

I hope Jack tries to recreate the meat from One Piece and gets a stroke from eating it.

 

[Hot CILF in your area]

What sense of taste? He recently said a raw leathery steak covered in the contents of a hotel lobby ashtray (back when they had those) and some salt was delicious.

Sense of taste purely in the mechanical sense that receptors on his tongue send signals to his brain which then interprets those signals. It's just that "interpreting" for strokebrain boils down to:
If (lodsa meahd OR sodium >= 5000mg OR lahdda seezning OR cock)

print("guhd")​

else

print("baehd")​

​

 

[Skwisgaar Skwigelf]

Sense of taste purely in the mechanical sense that receptors on his tongue send signals to his brain which then interprets those signals. It's just that "interpreting" for strokebrain boils down to:
If (lodsa meahd OR sodium >= 5000mg OR lahdda seezning OR cock)

print("guhd")​

else

print("baehd")​

​

The Scalgorithm is a remarkable procedure worthy of it's own field of scientific study.

 

[ILikeYou]

Yes, I can imagine. Except he doesn't even bake it together.

Because tacos are just so hard to eat.

In that taco video, he says he doesn't know why they call it a dollop at the 2:30 mark. Sir, that's a word, a normal, English word. He's referenced the 'do a dollop of Daisy' commercials before, but didn't know that a dollop is defined as 'a shapeless mass or blob of something, especially soft food.' So, what did he think they meant in the commercial--he thought they invented a word and used it in the ad?! Absolute dullard. I wonder if people around him ever just use big words in conversation so he can't understand them, like you do w/ a child when you spell things out to hide adult topics.

 

[Bassomatic]

I know it's impossible to Alog Jack because he's so awful but I hope a drunk driver slams into them when hes forcing Tammy to take him to Micky D's at 1030pm on Xmas eve .

The rest of you, all of my best wishes.

 

[mawrieposter]

imagine if you were dating someone jack-adjacent and they were like "come over to my uncle's house for christmas, he's a famous youtube chef!" you'd be expecting a yule feast fit for a king and then when you arrive there's half-dead sped spud jack in his scooter going "i embdied a can of beans into a bowl and tammy browned da grounbeef, help yourselphhh."

Date Armin Meiwes instead , I'm sure he could cook up something far more romantic and appetizing than Jack

 

[lindsayfan]

Date Armin Meiwes instead , I'm sure he could cook up something far more romantic and appetizing than Jack

now there's a man who knows güd meats