So, I (23FTM) am on a study abroad trip to London as a theatre major. And I was so excited! I was so ready to make new friends and explore the city! I've also never been to Europe.
Well, the group I'm with (there is 10 of us) was initially sorta nice to me. SORTA. Then they started excluding me from everything. Never inviting me to anything, going to places I suggested without me, leaving me behind when walking... even the time I tripped, scraped my knee amd dropped my glass trying to keep up with them and they didn't even bother waiting 10 secs for me to get up.
I thought it got bad on New Years Eve where I had proposed seeing the fireworks or going to a specific GAY bar. And they all acted super flimsy going "ooohhh I can't sorry"... only to find out they all went to both places without me. So they told me to meet up at the gay bar I suggested, and well they left without me right before I arrived. At that point I was drunk, it was 3 am and I was so depressed someone noticed and gave me smth to drink (no idea what but I was a dumbass and took it), that freaked me out and I walked out and had to walk all the way back to our flat by myself at 3am, high/drunk af and with 15% battery on my phone on New Year. No one was answering my texts. I miraculously made it back safe and after drinking lots of water felt a bit better. But I couldn't stop thinking that if London wasn't so safe smth terrible could have happened to me and no one would have cared.
The course instructors have told us to always travel in groups or at least pair up for safety reasons but I have ended up doing literally EVRYTHING by myself. Even when I confronted one of them crying after that and they told me they weren't excluding me on purpose, and to stop making stupid decisions.
Well, it has kept getting worse. Yesterday, one of my flat roommates bought a bottle of wine for all 3 of them to share but me, and they gave me a random ass roommate agreement I wasn't even there in the making for to sign as a form of "intervention", making ME (felt really targeted) promise I would knock on doors before entering rooms bc someone could be naked, and not steal or even touch their stuff. Which... I haven't given them any reason to think I would do that, since I have barely even been there and I'm literally the only one who ever knocks. I also never touch amy of their stuff.
That's when it dawned on me after hearing them whisper that they have all been acting strange after I said I was trans and even MORE awkward after I said I was bi when I jokingly said the woman from Squid Game was hot.
Straight cis white motherfuckers actually think I want to steal their stuff and have a crush on them/want to see them naked and am gonna sexually harrass them just for existing any minute now.
Also, when one of the people in our group's flight was cancelled and she had to arrive a day late, I felt bad and bought her some candy as a welcome gift... apparently that means I am flirting and harrassing her too. (I'm not)
Just WHAT THE FUCK. I want to scream and say me being bisexual doesn't mean I have no standards and want to fuck everyone. Me being trans doesn't mean shit or that I am lurking in the walls waiting to see them naked.
I am also the only latinx /non american and ND person in the group so I feel more isolated.
They also always talk about how obssessed with Harry Potter they are and misgender me the few times they try "including" me going "yeeeessss having a girlssss night!!!!!" (Other times they do use my pronouns)
The moment they gave me that to sign I just went silent and left the groupchat we have. I was too stunned. After that I hear they have been more active in the gc (no needing to have another one to exclude me). I was also late to a few class activities when I twisted my ankle and had to walk alone etc. You get the idea.
Every time I walk into a room they all go quiet and start whispering. When I greet one of them or talk they ignore me or just stare at me. When they talk of going out I say "Oh! Where?!" and they go... "uhhhh y'know, places here and there...."
Tonight all 9 of them went out without me once more and I am so close to crying.
I am proud of myself for being so capable, independent and being able to navigate London (a city I've never been to) by myself, pulling off stuff and activities and not letting the way they treat me deter me from making the most of my trip. And Londoners I have met (other than a Karen who screamed at me) have been lovely. For example, I went to a hidden TARDIS Doctor Who landmark and was struggling taking pictures with it by myself so a fellow local offered to help me and she was so nice!
But I still want to cry by the way they are treating me.
Even more when I realized it's bc they are uncomfortable with my queerness. There are a couple other gay people in the group who they went to the gay bar with, but I'm the only trans and bi one.
Tonight they ALL left to go out together in front of my face. Like... wtf.
