Amanda Marie Lochmann / Colton Marshall Lochmann / Battyforluv / GamingbatTheGamingPony / JustaBatto95 / battyforgothgf / Ghostguy15 / Saladfingy05 - Brony. Stinkditched Transbian. AGP Incel. Creepy Sex Pest. Autistic Crybully. Bitter Loser. Antiwork Unemployed NEET. "Enlightened" Atheist. Satanist. Toy Reviewer. PA Request Revenge Plot Backfired Spectacularly.

[break these cuffs]

I'm far more familiar with pooners taking the name Colton. A troon giving up the name Colton is throwing me for a loop right now.

 

[Lope de Aguirre]

Had to read the OP after that last post, and wow, what a waste of life.

Dude's life is already a bingo card of embarrassing self-owns and isolating everyone around him, I suppose 'file spurious lawsuit' is just another square. I reckon he's too retarded to even figure out the basics of any legal process.

 

[Xev]

Had to read the OP after that last post, and wow, what a waste of life.

Dude's life is already a bingo card of embarrassing self-owns and isolating everyone around him, I suppose 'file spurious lawsuit' is just another square. I reckon he's too retarded to even figure out the basics of any legal process.

He's too broke to buy his own Legos and too retarded to assemble the Legos he sucks dicks for.

 

[Admiral Throbnelius]

My favorite part of his lawsuit threat and him claiming we are "stalking and harassing" his Twitter is he is the one who decided to make his account public again for everyone to see.

As a refresher, when his nudes were found on his Twitter and posted early on into this thread, he privated his Twitter account. IIRC he recently made it public so he could talk with Zoey / emoboyfucker69 or he was just starved for attention.

 

[PS2 Nishiki]

Honestly, I don't think there's a word to describe how mentally retarded Colton is. He quite literally had the perfect simp white knight who went out of his way to dox @Assistant Manajerk on here for Colton's sake, and yet somehow Colton found a way to ruin that friendship for himself. It takes a lot of effort to be this retarded.
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Spoiler: attached images

 

[Bill Evans 45]

I reckon he's too retarded to even figure out the basics of any legal process.

He's too lazy. Look at Greer, man's an idiot but he's a Motion machine. Stebbins is a functional retard and he's arguably achieved more than Colton.
Colton is not XX thus he is of the male sex.

 

[PS2 Nishiki]

Our amigo, Señor Colton has been on a pretty miserable love quest at the start of the new year. He has been thirsting for random goth OF whores on Twitter.

"PLEASE FUCK ME, I'M A FAT 30 YEAR OLD VIRGIN WHO PLAYS WITH TOYS"
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"u single"?
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He even went on to try hit on this hoe by saying "Yeah baby..... I get called a fat retarded tranny by a bunch of incels, wanna fuck?.."
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Alas, all good love stories must come to an end, not once but twice even
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An ode to this girlfriend-free man child.

 

[Toji Suzuhara]

Our amigo, Señor Colton has been on a pretty miserable love quest at the start of the new year. He has been thirsting for random goth OF whores on Twitter.

"PLEASE FUCK ME, I'M A FAT 30 YEAR OLD VIRGIN WHO PLAYS WITH TOYS"
View attachment 6818944 ( Archive )

"u single"?
View attachment 6818948 ( Archive )

He even went on to try hit on this hoe by saying "Yeah baby..... I get called a fat retarded tranny by a bunch of incels, wanna fuck?.."
View attachment 6818953 ( Archive )

Alas, all good love stories must come to an end, not once but twice even
View attachment 6818963 ( Archive )
View attachment 6818982 ( Archive )

An ode to this girlfriend-free man child.
View attachment 6818978

I'm honestly surprised that a man so obsessed with goth girls hasn't found out about Tiffy yet

 

[PositiveMonk]

Not familiar with this fag - just scanned the thread briefly. He doesn't have the balls to go toe to toe with Hardin the Retard Annihilator.

Well.. He no longer has the balls, but don't hold it against him, it doesn't make him any less of a man.

 

[Sparkletor 2.0]

The tragedy of all this is that these hot goth dommy mommies all want a man. They're not into transbians. Just because they are goth doesn't mean they actually like the smell of death that emanates from Colton's rotten putrid stink ditch.

I cry every time.

 

[Xev]

The only way Colton is getting a dommy mommy is if he pays a sex worker. That was also true before the chop. He would have been better off keeping his dick and simply getting a job.

 

[PS2 Nishiki]

if he pays a sex worker

That requires a job, which is "ewww, yucky!!!!" to Colton.

 

[Bill Evans 45]

He has been thirsting for random goth OF whores on Twitter.

We need a 'Dear Lord, that's fuckin' woeful' react just for Colton.

 

[Spunt]

Spooky chicks want spooky penis, Colton. You cut yours off because you're an idiot.

Let's do some maths. You are too retarded and poor to drive, so your bae has to be within the city of Woodburn, OR, with a population of 26,000. Half of those are male, so that's down to 13,000 women. Let's say 1/3 are too young and 1/3 are too old, so that goes down to 4333 women in your age range. 90% of people are straight, so that goes down to 433 lesbian or bi women. According to a 2014 UCLA Williams Institute study, 51% of lesbians in the United States were married or in a cohabiting relationship, so that's down to 216. I'd guess that half of those again are in some form of more casual relationship, so that's down to 108 single bi or lesbian women that you can get on your fat legs and wobble towards.

Now we have to look at the "goth dom" aspect. There aren't many surveys on how many goths there are, but this one found that in a sample of 1300 teenagers, 25 described themselves as "goth", or 2%. So of that 108, 2 will be "goth". This survey found that 47% of women have sexually dominant fantasies, meaning that there will be only one single, goth, dominant lesbian in all of Woodburn.

I've spoken to her. Her name's Claire, she knows who you are and she says you're a man and a particularly stupid and unpleasant one at that. Sorry mate, you're SOL.

The only way forward now is suicide. You'll have to get your carers to tie the noose for you because you're too retarded to figure that out, but I'm sure they'll be more than happy to help you.

 

[CallmeCicada]

Spooky chicks want spooky penis, Colton. You cut yours off because you're an idiot.

It's a phantom limb. Pfft~

 

[Spunt]

It's a phantom limb. Pfft~
View attachment 6822602

The irony is that the ghost of Colton's penis probably has lots of hot, spooky sex with the ghosts of pooner vaginas up there in Genital Heaven, while Colton himself rots fatly in his tranny cave.

 

[Woggie's child bride]

Let's be honest, even if he didn't troon out he had basically no hope of getting a woman.

 

[FireAddictedPsychopath]

Idk what Colton's/Zoey's big deal is (I have no idea how that disgusting thing started out as). Working a job that pays you fairly is awsome! Especially if you busted ass in college or a trade and have a very niche high skill job that pays you a high salary for fuck all hard labor and get to be a boss with a corner office? Best thing ever. Well at least he/she is comfy bitching about getting no goth lesbian bitches to peg his/her unwashed asshole instead of doing anything meaningful with his/her life at the bottom of the social and financial food chain.... where he/she belongs.

 

[Bill Evans 45]

Idk what Colton's/Zoey's big deal is

Loneliness, delusions and crippling mental illness?

 

[Xev]

Loneliness, delusions and crippling mental illness?

They are just useless, lazy fucks. Their parents failed them as they are adults with zero work ethic or any sense of social responsibility.