TJLC - The JohnLock Conspiracy - Fine Whine Tasting Session

[Southern Belle]

If the BBC do respond I hope it's to tell them to fuck off and grow up.

The last time shit like this happened the BBC didn't have to buy coffee for a while. (They killed off the bisexual coffee boy from Torchwood. People started mailing them protest bags of coffee.)

 

[Echo_Ender]

I unfortunately know a few of these sorts of exceptional individuals IRL.

They are, without exception, either a middle-aged, heterosexual female with a massive and creepy yaoi fetish that live on Fanfic forums

OR a high school/college-aged, female special snowflake, usually claiming to be "non-binary" despite being virgins, who frequent DeviantArt.

The former are far more common than the latter because, unless something changes (Usually getting a boyfriend, realizing that the "Totally boring and gross" hetero sex is actually more fun than writing slashfics on Gaia Online with a group of 50-year-old Tumblrinas), they all become the former.

This shit has been around forever and won't be going away anytime soon. These are the same hags that, to this day, hate Harley Quinn because "Batman and the Joker are totes gay for each other and the writers used her to cop out and not show it!"

They're just louder and more obnoxious these days because of Tumblr.

 

[Varg Did Nothing Wrong]

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The one that gets me is the fujoshi squealing about how they cuddle on the couch. That's... that's not how men act.

This is nothing like the characters in the series.

If you're a fan of something, shouldn't you at least try to approximate the original?

This is the same level of retarded as writing fanfiction where Jason Bourne is a pizza delivery guy and never became a secret CIA hitman super agent. He just delivers pizza. What's the point of making it Jason Bourne fanfiction if there's no actual traits from the Bourne series?

 

[Android raptor]

This is nothing like the characters in the series.

If you're a fan of something, shouldn't you at least try to approximate the original?

This is the same level of exceptional as writing fanfiction where Jason Bourne is a pizza delivery guy and never became a secret CIA hitman super agent. He just delivers pizza. What's the point of making it Jason Bourne fanfiction if there's no actual traits from the Bourne series?

So he can have buttsex with everyone he delivers pizza too, duh. Possible also get butt pregnant by dog dick as well.

 

[Varg Did Nothing Wrong]

So he can have buttsex with everyone he delivers pizza too, duh. Possible also get butt pregnant by dog dick as well.

Well yeah, but then what makes it different from anyone else (John Watson, Jason Bourne or just Jeffery Fuckface Jr.) having buttsex and getting buttpregged by dogcocks?

That's the thing I don't get. Wanna write weird yaoi sex fantasies, go for it. But why make it specifically Harry Potter yaoi sex fantasies, and then have the characters act nothing like they would?

 

[Elysian]

Well yeah, but then what makes it different from anyone else (John Watson, Jason Bourne or just Jeffery Fuckface Jr.) having buttsex and getting buttpregged by dogcocks?

That's the thing I don't get. Wanna write weird yaoi sex fantasies, go for it. But why make it specifically Harry Potter yaoi sex fantasies, and then have the characters act nothing like they would?

It's so they don't have to spend any extraneous imagination imagining new characters; they can just keep the originals (if only by name) and spend the rest of their brainpower thinking up new and exciting raunchy sexcapades for the characters to embark on. Kinda like how Steve Jobs wore the same outfit all the time so he wouldn't contribute towards decision fatigue by having to decide on a new outfit, but with more :autism:. It's not fanfiction, it's outsourcing character creation.

 

[SPARKLETWAT]

The Sherlock fandom is full of retarded buttmad babies and it's messed up so bad I almost compare them to bronies that baaaww because coloring books are aimed at kids.

 

[Vitriol]

at a time when muslims are murdering homosexuals in their hundreds, is this really the most appropriate focus for outrage from the tumblr lgbt community?
Just for a bit of perspective. It is easy to get lost in these people's strange rants.

 

[Flareon]

What sad, empty lives these people must lead.
Shipping is the most retarded shit

 

[Elysian]

"unintended harms"

This is loudest-subtext-in-television by the way, (now known as loudest-subtext-in tv since they deleted blog #1 due to "hate"). She is a Gracee-tier well known figure in the TJLC scene, and the main producer of TJLC "meta" - essays about why Johnlock is totally gonna be canon. Her meta on "M-theory" (the theory that Mycroft is working for Moriarty, Mary is Pure Evil and will soon die along with the babby leaving John and Sherlock with ample time to discuss Plato *wink wink nudge nudge*) is 177 pages long.

https://loudest-subtext-in-tv.tumblr.com/metas

 

[Piga Dgrifm]

View attachment 177001
177 pages long.

And to think, she could have written a short story that actually meant something with that time.

 

[Elysian]

And to think, she could have written a short story that actually meant something with that time.

But that 177 page meta isn't the only one.

Spoiler

Spoiler

I met a Farmer from an autistic land,
Who said—“Two vast and boundless pillars of salt
Stand in the Tumblr. . . . Near them, on the Twitter,
Half sunk a shattered genderspecial lies, whose frown,
And wrinkled lip, and sneer of cold command,
Tell that its director well those passions read
Which yet survive, stamped on these salty things,
The hand that mocked them, and the heart that fed;
And on the blog, these words appear:
My name is Loudest Subtext In Television, Autist of Autists;
Look on my Works, ye Mighty, and despair!
Nothing beside remains. Round the decay
Of that colossal Wreck, boundless and bare
The handsome and hetero scenes stretch far away.”

 

[Twrx]

I love Sherlock, I've watched the show since it finally premiered in the US. There has never been any inkling that John nor Sherlock were gay. They even insulted the shipping freaks on the episode when Sherlock came back. If that wasn't enough of a hint about it, I don't know what is.

 

[Piga Dgrifm]

But that 177 page meta isn't the only one.

Spoiler

View attachment 177021 View attachment 177023 View attachment 177026 View attachment 177027

Holy shit. Not even the people who write the show could be this obsessed with it.

 

[Elysian]

"I actually made her go silent"

I doubt that's since you were so moved and vunerable because not getting your gay ship fulfilled was literally on par with dead unborn babies and more because the mom just realised their kid is a basket case and is silently regretting every life choice that led her up to this particular conversation.

 

[Piga Dgrifm]

View attachment 177033

"I actually made her go silent"

I doubt that's since you were so moved and vunerable because not getting your gay ship fulfilled was literally on par with dead unborn babies and more because the mom just realised their kid is a basket case and is silently regretting every life choice that led her up to this particular conversation.

I REE'd my mom into stunned, depressed silence. Therefore, JohnLock is real.

 

[Elysian]

Not seeing a gay relationship literally everywhere = literal gaslighting,

This "u aren't crazy <3 u are valid, everything is wrong except u uwu" bullshit is starting to annoy me a little, it's not even just contained to this niche it's just everywhere nowadays.

 

[breadandcircuses]

People have been shipping Sherlock Holmes and John Watson since the first book came out. The only difference is that these morons post it on the internt.

 

[Aperrentis]

View attachment 177033

"I actually made her go silent"

And then the furniture clapped.

 

[Lorento]

I REE'd my mom into stunned, depressed silence. Therefore, JohnLock is real.

Her mother should JohnLock her out of the house and not let her back in until she stops being so utterly autistic.