Dude. You can't... you don't know that you need to capitalize each word in a title? Or how to use a colon? Or the fact that you don't put your author name in the title field? Some of the mouth breathers over on r/selfpublish can barely string together two words yet they all somehow manage to not mess up
the literal title of their book.
The back cover's marginally better.
I mean, it seems this guy can, at least, write a complete sentence with a subject and verb (third graders can, too, but that's beside the point). Although, we have this random capitalization of "Award-Winning." And he's missing the "A" in "About the [A]uthor." And "years" should have an apostrophe. And "writes journals and fiction" makes no fucking sense. Is he trying to talk about the pages-long screeds against transphobia that he scrawls in his diary every day? Who the hell would care about that?
Now let's check out the actual content... I'm sure it's well-written and engaging.
He opens the book with this very bland and boring explanation of his writing "career". Again, the sentences all have subjects and verbs, and are generally easy to read and understand (and again, a third grader could manage to do that, too). But you'll notice that every single goddamn sentence is nearly the
exact same length. How in the hell are you an award-winning journalist if you can't even demonstrate the most basic writing techniques? You get told to vary your sentence lengths in high school, dude. Come on.
We get to the actual story on the next page.
Again, he can't manage to capitalize titles properly. It's "Lancasters", not "Lancaster's". And again most sentences are the exact same length, (so the whole thing reads pretty choppy). Plus, I mean, God, you can't write a more boring opening. It's like he
tried to put the reader to sleep.
Blah, blah, blah, some more grammatical errors, some more really boring exposition no one cares about.
He doesn't... He doesn't even know how to punctuate dialogue. Buddy, you said you took creative writing classes. That's the
first thing a professor would point out. Did you just not pay attention to anything anyone said? Did someone tell you your dialogue was cheesy and you covered your ears and went "I'M NOT LISTENING I'M NOT LISTENING" like an autistic toddler?
And the dialogue's bad, too. It could be written properly and it'd still be shit.
Wow. I've seen some delusional self-published authors before, but he does, in fact, rank at least in the top 3. It's not like this is just poorly written and it has enough audience appeal (popular tropes, good cover, best-selling genre) to overcome the abysmal prose. No, this is just boring trash.
He could give this away for free and people
still wouldn't read it.
No reviews so far. Wonder why.
If anyone cares enough, I can look at his other works, like that goldfish thing, too. But I think this is enough to say he has hardly ever cracked open a book. (Or maybe he has exclusively read fantasy books aimed at middle schoolers.)
