🐷 Ethan Ralph's Twitter / Tweets - A collection of thoughts, insights and musings from the internet's favorite gunted hobbit

[Rage Pig]

Amy Swinehouse ​

"Rehab"

They tried to make me go to rehab, but I said "oink, oink, oink"
Yes, I've been fat, but when I come back, you'll know, know, know
I ain't got the time and if my daddy Dax thinks I'm fine
He's tried to make me go to rehab, but I won't go, go, go

I'd rather be at home with Ambien
I ain't got thirty days
'Cause there's nothing
There's nothing you can teach me
That I can't learn from Master Milo

 

[You're MDNWU]

He has no money, is addicted to pills/alcohol/his thread, and needs to stream every day to even afford to live.

He'll give up within a week, act like he's clean, and then start getting noticably drunk and high again within a month.


Allassuming the Mexican detox center just doesn't take his money and kick him out after a day or two because they're unable to manage pigs.

 

[Divorced Wifejak Groyper]

Yet again Ralph downplays his own misdeeds, his own callous and evil behavior - threatening to kill women, making his children cry, releasing revenge porn, cheating on his pregnant child bride, trying to force her into being the bottom bitch of his harem... - as nothing in comparison to Dick. When in actuality, he is a monster.

To be fair Ralph is just a terrible person and these things have nothing to do with his addiction problems. He has a family history of addiction as well as severe mental illness like his papa Ronnie the schizophrenic which Ralph also probably has or is developing as he even said he has head mates.

Addiction makes his personal failings worse, but they are not the cause of the addiction. His depression and shame for being a fat three-tittie'd little piggy also have prevented him from seriously seeking help. If he thinks a short 30 day stint in rehab is going to be a magic fix all for his addiction he is just setting himself up to fail and will relapse within months if not much sooner.

I guess my point is that evil people can still get sober and they'll still be pieces of shit, and good people can have addiction and struggle with it even unsuccessfully.

 

[Mahavitchnu Orchestra]

Piggertits cycling again, yawn.

I'd say don't even afford him the dignity of bumping this thread, but there's too much potential for injury, arrest, or both, so let's keep the party going!

 

[Vibralldo]

To be fair Ralph is just a terrible person and these things have nothing to do with his addiction problems. He has a family history of addiction as well as severe mental illness like his papa Ronnie the schizophrenic which Ralph also probably has or is developing as he even said he has head mates.

Addiction makes his personal failings worse, but they are not the cause of the addiction. His depression and shame for being a fat three-tittie'd little piggy also have prevented him from seriously seeking help. If he thinks a short 30 day stint in rehab is going to be a magic fix all for his addiction he is just setting himself up to fail and will relapse within months if not much sooner.

I guess my point is that evil people can still get sober and they'll still be pieces of shit, and good people can have addiction and struggle with it even unsuccessfully.

Ralph is id style evil:
He just does what he wants, when he wants regardless of the consequences to himself or others. No impulse control, no planning. He's a bull in a china shop that fucks up everyone who associates with him.

Juju is super ego style evil:
He's calculating. He plans his actions, making sure he gets what he wants and that nothing bad happens to him, but everyone else around him is a disposable tool that can and will be used to forward his agenda, and once he screws them over he laughs at them and turns them into content.

 

[Mr E. Grifter]

To be fair Ralph is just a terrible person and these things have nothing to do with his addiction problems. He has a family history of addiction as well as severe mental illness like his papa Ronnie the schizophrenic which Ralph also probably has or is developing as he even said he has head mates.

There are lots of risk factors when it comes to addiction. A family history of addiction is one of them, but poor mental health and personality disorders are too.

PTSD is a great example of this, it's very common people use substances to try and deal with the intrusive thoughts brought on by the disorder. Sufferers have a much higher rate of substance abuse than the general population.

Even if we just consider the hypothetical that Ralph has a trauma that he abuses substances to try and deal with, he would need to be able to introspect to heal and to take away that reason he drinks. All treatments of the root cause of trauma involve revisiting that memory, in a sense you are doing manually what the brain should be doing automatically but hasn't - it's why exposure therapy works.

The point is, whatever is eating this nigga up he needs to be able to look at it. He can't even look at himself.

 

[There She Glows]

To be fair Ralph is just a terrible person and these things have nothing to do with his addiction problems. He has a family history of addiction as well as severe mental illness like his papa Ronnie the schizophrenic which Ralph also probably has or is developing as he even said he has head mates.

He has the most textbook case of borderline personality disorder I've ever seen on this website, and that includes head banging legend Alison Rapp. He doesn't really have a chance in hell at addiction treatment without treating his BPD at the same time.

 

[Cucktry Roads]

Honestly, what good is rehab going to do? If he is sober for these 45 day time periods and isnt lying, well rehab is only like 1 month. It will do him no good. Like I've said before, Ralph only has 2 good options:
1)Take a shotgun and violently guntset himself
2)Become a mukbang streamer where he eats large amounts of food and slaps out songs on his gunty.

 

[Lolcow78]

Love seeing the diversity of opinions here. You're all really smart

 

[Ultrapenguin]

Yes some desperate people get clean, but most of them aren't living alone in a shack in a foreign country.

I'm rather confident that so long as Ralph is online, he won't ever clean up. The lifestyle of sitting by himself in his house, with no one to be accountable to or rely on for support, no real motive to stop, trying to get money from internet weirdos (who in fact encourage him to get plastered), is absolutely not any way someone's going to straighten out.

That means the only real option is for him to completely change his lifestyle; he apparently sees no problem with his lifestyle though, he just thinks he can excise the drug use and keep going on the exact same way he always has.
Hell, most regular people would probably turn to liquor and drugs if they led that type of existence. Introspection only does so much.

Either Ralph drops offline and stays in the US or he never stays clean. Simple as.

 

[Capt. Jean Luc Ritard]

He doesn't want to be sober he just wants sympathy and to give the appearance of trying to straighten himself out so people will stop making fun of him. He's playing the pity card "oh woe is me, all the issues I've caused is simply my addiction! once I fix that everyone has to forgive me!"

I saw a comedian one time talking about how people treat alcoholism like a disease and say shit like "you wouldn't get mad at someone for having cancer would you?" and he said "if cancer made you an obnoxious asshole, then yeah."

 

[Null]

no one to be accountable to

I mean ralph has had the opportunity to get sober and be a part of his children's lives twice now. He even had a horse slave he couldn't get clean for.

 

[LiquidChrisRespecter]

He's never been able live independently. That's why he's always on the lookout for a new fuck mommy as soon as he scares the previous one off.

What's waiting for him when he gets out? A boiling shack full of cat and human piss, no car, a community he can't speak to and still being completely unemployable?

Even if he completes a program, he'll treat it the same way Chantal treats all of her dramatic lifestyle change announcements. It's purely temporary until the paypigs congratulate him and get back to paying.

 

[God's strongest milkman]

I mean ralph has had the opportunity to get sober and be a part of his children's lives twice now. He even had a horse slave he couldn't get clean for.

Oh important information. I have spoken to my contacts in the Chinese spy agencies and the Confucius temples and 2026 is the chinese year of the horse! May WILL be back in Ethan's life again next year! Either that or she will be her own thing and you'll have to talk about her again!

 

[Daddy's Angry Juice]

Now I'm not an expert on substance abuse and how to curb it, but I have been through a lot of substance abuse programs and can point out 2 reason why I believe rehab will do jack shit for Ralph.
1. These programs only really work if you take them seriously and put in the effort to commit to them. You can't just go in for 30 days and expect to be cured.

Now there's a lot of words I could use to describe Ralph, committed is not one of those, he doesn't even commit to his lazy ass stream goals, so that's off the table.

2. Most if not all of these programs recommend that you change your lifestyle drastically (specifically the activities that you would normally do while abusing said substance) to take your mind away from the substance and put it towards something more positive to prevent a relapse.

Think about what Ralph is going to do once he gets out of rehab. Do you see him going out for a jog to get some fresh air and exercise? Maybe find a hobby that interests him and helps his creativity? Perhaps he'll find a new job that he can apply himself to and make a reliable income?
Or do you see him sitting in his crackshack all day, yelling at the Internet, with the occasional trip to a strip club?

 

[Rage Pig]

It's really a pity how Dax turned from being the best bro in May 2024 into this obnoxious, drug addiction inducing asshole in January 2025. Poor Piggertits, he couldn't see it coming, complete 180 turn.

 

[Um...]

I hope he goes through with it and gets well. Ralph is a dumb mother fucker, but he wouldn't be retarded if he got off drugs.

He’ll still be a ghastly misshapen repulsive blob, just not a drunk one.

 

[Devious Dave]

I hope the rehab works but there's only so many chances you get in life and I think he's already mentally fucked

If he wanted to do the right thing with what he has left he would be working towards leaving his kids something when he dies

 

[MirnaMinkoff]

Now I believe Dax ghosting Ralph triggered this whole thing. Ralph figured if he declared war on Dax on Twitter Daddy Dax would finally respond to his DMs and stop ignoring him. He’s even resorted to “Dax doesn’t really care about muh soberity” to try get any sort of reply. Maybe it worked, maybe Dax sent “luv u bro, good luck in rehab. Talk 2 u when ur out” and Ralph wept and thanked Dax for his support.

Spoiler

Ralph is a BPD trainwreck. Dax might like Gunt okay but it’s mostly a parasocial relationship built on content benefit. He isn’t, and never has been, Ralph’s friend. The “Dick” character might hang with the “Ralphamale” but Dax Masterson is not friends with Ethan Ralph. Ralph has always been a content clown clown, but being a LA guy Dick is better adapted to maintaining fake friendships if they offer him some benefit.

Ralph thinks because they’ve hung out and dropped acid together they have a deep friendship, when that’s a totally casual thing to Dick. Dick has partied and dropped acid with hundreds of guys, he goes to burning man ffs.

Gunt has a very minuscule social circle IRL so Dax has outsize importance. But to Dax Gunt is nothing more than a z-list show biz acquaintance of the wack pack variety. Ralph trying to force more out of him isn’t surprising. Ralph’s BPD requires black and white, all or nothing, thinking. It’s either unwavering loyalty and support or you’re a blood enemy that he hopes dies. He has no ability to navigate the large gray areas which make up 99% of life and esp interpersonal relationships. I’ve noticed one of the most common red flags for BPD ppl is the use of “ride or die” when they take about others.

Dax has managed to keep Ralph at arms length and giving him the occasional head pat or show appearance kept him in line. It kept Ralph in line for years but his neediness has been ramping up and all the other parasocial friends have dwindled.

Ralph started demanding more, like another stay or visit to the Barbie Mansion, and Dax finally noped out. How long do we think Ralph has been trying to visit Dax again? The last trip was the “goodbye horses” spectacular and I’d assume Ralph was blacklisted from Dax’s house after that, but ofc Dax would never tell Ralph that.

Now Dax is trying to decide if he should just give Gunt another head pat to quiet him down or finally cut the cord because Gunt is dead weight it’s no longer of benefit to his “LA comedian” career. Also Dick might actually be Ralph’s longest friendship by a long shot, which says a lot about Ethan.

 

[Windy Moors]

He's not going to rehab, I predict the good ol' cat excuse will be deployed.

"Ah just littlley remembered bout my cats, I can't leave em alone that long."