🐷 Ethan Ralph's Twitter / Tweets - A collection of thoughts, insights and musings from the internet's favorite gunted hobbit

[Truly Rural]

It really is poetic. Ralph made it utterly impossible for anyone who ever actually did care about him to stay around. Who ever would honestly wish him well and who ever wanted to help whether able to or not he chased away. Now he is remembering people like Harry Morris who at the time would wish him nothing but health and happiness and good life. He burned every bridge with everyone who cared, and the last bridge he had remaining was with a guy who likes to be fucked in the ass while dressed as a cow who never EVER gave a shit whether Ralph lives or dies (he just didn't want him to die in his house)

 

[Niggs Monaghan]

Ralph knowing he has a problem and willingly checking himself into rehab before Rekieta lol.
RALPH MALE W

I know, I know, it's Ralph, but just the idea of it is funny to me.

 

[waffle]

He can do it but it's gonna be hard, he'll have to come to terms with the fact that he essentially has no life because he's alienated everyone. The good thing is Xander is young enough that if Ralph gets it together now Xander will probably never remember the bad times. Do it for your boy, Ralph.

 

[MunsterCheeseJr]

There is nothing to salvage, Ralphs life is not worth living really and it will be only worse without drugs

Ralph has two children. And when sober can be an interesting and very competent talk show host. Hell, Ralph doesn't even have to resort to looking like a gutter clown to do well with his shows.

It would mean one hell of a lot to his kids if he cleaned himself up. I am sure his exs and their families would appreciate a cleaned up Ralph.

It would be hilarious if Ralph cleaned up and grew into a better man than Harry Morris. But that may be setting optimism levels way too high.

 

[Average Thulean Man]

I will never shittalk someone who is taking the needed steps to improve their life, especially someone with young children who still has a chance to be a positive influence on their life, but I have my doubts that he'll make the full 30 days. I genuinely and honestly wish him the best of luck! He'll need it. Assuming he even goes, which I'm 50/50 on.

 

[mister fireworks]

imagine drying out in a mexican rehab and hearing the unabridged origin story of the gunt told autobiographically during group talk therapy.

 

[LiquidChrisRespecter]

First of all, you don't have any "work".

Secondly, it's nobody else's responsibility to get you clean. Certainly not Juju's. Nevertheless, King Harold was extremely gracious to look out for you considering everything you've put his family through.

The majority of this "epiphany" is the usual pig squealing about how shitty everybody else is despite claims of having attended AA, being sober and having an unbroken stream record (lol) for some time now.

Even if you attend this alleged rehab (), even if you obey the rules and last the duration (), even if you engage with the process and acknowledge what a bag of shit you've been your whole life and start making genuine apologies (, too late for Sandra anyway), you will always be a lonely, unsightly Ragepig. And that is a certain recipe for relapse.

 

[alan thicke]

Ralph is going to turn around 360 degrees and moonwalk away from the rehab place the moment they tell him he can’t bring in his buckets of ambien and xanax.

“These are prescription so I can’t be abusing them, if you want to know the truth.”

 

[Cucktry Roads]

So, important question:

Does Juju lose his place as the only person in the killstream hall of fame since they're no longer friends?

 

[GamerGateSurvivor]

There's no way he'll finish. Those kinds of places have rules, structure, order. First time he gets told "no" or a nurse/therapist tries to introduce him to the concept of personal responsibility for one's own actions he'll start hollerin'. This is an exercise in futility and he's going to take up bed space from someone who actually might benefit from it.

And within an hour of walking out the door he'll get hammered just to spite the poor medical people who tried to help him with the thoughts of "can't tell me what to do bitch".

And here I was hoping they'd lock him in a closet for a month where they'd slide tortas under the door.

 

[alan thicke]

So, important question:

Does Juju lose his place as the only person in the killstream hall of fame since they're no longer friends?

Ralph said no when asked, but I hope he does because I want to see a clip of juju saying “who the fuck wants to be in that anyway?” Followed by that stupid donkey laugh he does after everything he says

 

[des Pudels Kern]

I hope he goes through with it and gets well. Ralph is a dumb mother fucker, but he wouldn't be retarded if he got off drugs.

 

[MaltVinegarRespecter]

And here I was hoping they'd lock him in a closet for a month where they'd slide tortas under the door.

Maybe they do it different in Mexico. Perhaps they use sticks to beat the liquor out of him like a pinata.

 

[AltisticRight]

Histrionic little piggy with triple titties. Watch this 15-30 days turn into 10-15 days, 7 days, and then zero. He's not going to rehabilitation, unless there's some senorita there he wants to (and will fail to) impress and impregnate.

Put your money where your snout is and actually show us the enrollment. Nobody believes you.

 

[MunsterCheeseJr]

Ralph is a dumb mother fucker, but he wouldn't be retarded if he got off drugs.

Maybe when he was younger. But I fear he has done permanent wet-brain damage to himself by being such an alcoholic for so long. I have no clue what damage the other drugs may have done to him beyond crippling addiction.

 

[LiquidChrisRespecter]

Put your money where your snout is and actually show us the enrollment. Nobody believes you.

If he keeps paywalling the breathalyser again and not using it in full view, you know it's bullshit.

 

[xX_rAcE_wAr_420_Xx]

I give him like a 10% he turns his life around. Ralph had this bizarre habit of framing things like he's cracked the code, figured the whole situation out, and now he's explaining it to you because he's so smart. "Truthfully I've been spiraling for a while, even though I had some good times, so I'm going to rehab; people told me to before, but they didn't unnerstan the situation, so they might have been right but only accidentally".

If he washes out in like two weeks, it'll be "naw I realized that program wasn't gonna work for me and actually what I need is this 200iq custom at home treatment where I just don't buy any beer then I'll be okay", and instead of a failure and big warning sign it's just another epiphany he's had because he's so smart.

 

[Capt. Jean Luc Ritard]

Histrionic little piggy with triple titties. Watch this 15-30 days turn into 10-15 days, 7 days, and then zero. He's not going to rehabilitation, unless there's some senorita there he wants to (and will fail to) impress and impregnate.

Put your money where your snout is and actually show us the enrollment. Nobody believes you.

Appreciate you changing quad-titties to triple titties. Good to be accurate.

I give him like a 10% he turns his life around. Ralph had this bizarre habit of framing things like he's cracked the code, figured the whole situation out, and now he's explaining it to you because he's so smart. "Truthfully I've been spiraling for a while, even though I had some good times, so I'm going to rehab; people told me to before, but they didn't unnerstan the situation, so they might have been right but only accidentally".

If he washes out in like two weeks, it'll be "naw I realized that program wasn't gonna work for me and actually what I need is this 200iq custom at home treatment where I just don't buy any beer then I'll be okay", and instead of a failure and big warning sign it's just another epiphany he's had because he's so smart.

He's going to be like every other social reject in rehab and think that somehow simply not being able to touch substances for X amount of time will fix the problem. That's if he makes it through the entire program, which he won't. That is if he actually goes, which he also won't.

 

[Wash away the rain]

Piggertits is going to Rehab.
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You know I’d believe this if he hadn’t done a million previous come to Jesus moments in the past. At this point barring having a dedicated tard wrangler who’s paid to unfuck his life I doubt he will ever be sober more then 6 months let alone a year.

 

[parsnip]

I hope he gets so clean and so healthy we have to invent an anti-lolcow of the year award just for him. Who doesn't love a good redemption story?
Show them all! Living well is the best revenge etc.