🐷 Ethan Ralph's Twitter / Tweets - A collection of thoughts, insights and musings from the internet's favorite gunted hobbit

[LiquidChrisRespecter]

For once JuJu has got his priorities straight while the state is smouldering and he has a baby on the way.

I can only imagine the flurry of demented shit Ralph is sending to him in private.

Ralph's alienated himself so thoroughly he has to cry on the shoulders of Jesse PS. The man who was literally terrorising his horse and child with unsolicited diapies!

How is it that JuJu has been an enabler this whole time, but not the viewers who had you on the 2nd monitor waiting until you were drugged out of your gourd to start barraging you with super chats?

You and I both know the second you feel a little bit uncomfy, the premature congratulations donos dry up, you can't woo your therapist or you can't get a restful night's sleep, you'll be back to square 1.

 

[FiveStarAce]

I just remembered that just a month ago, Ralph tried to charm his physio therapist who treated his gimp arm by leaving Hunter S Thompson books on her cars Window. Let's not forget that alltime banger.

 

[( ◠‿◠ )]

Ralph is the kind of guy who celebrates his decision to go to rehab and get clean by getting absolutely wasted.
His liver should find somewhere safe to hide.

 

[Don'tAnalizeMeBro!]

I am still amazed that this all happened because Dax couldn’t deal with a pregnant girlfriend, another girlfriend who has been slurring his speech like crazy for the last few weeks and, oh yeah, LA seems to be ablaze.

 

[Rage Pig]

Piggertits wanted to know why he has three titties and claims that the devil's lettuce is to blame.

 

[niggercattle]

Piggertits is going to Rehab

"Uh oh, my thread has actually been an entertaining read for a couple days, better start content cucking."

 

[T00L Nigger]

Piggertits wanted to know why he has three titties and claims that the devil's lettuce is to blame.

View attachment 6856126

Ralph's physicality would of been a hell of PSA statement about the dangers of Marijuana abuse on Drag Net, But instead of a baby drowning in the bathtub it's just a big gay baby suffocating from being fat.

It think it has less to do with the pot and more to do with you being a gluttonous Fat Body whose only proof of getting physical is getting your ass handed to you. That or you beating your horse.

 

[Trigger Me Timbers]

Piggertits is going to Rehab.
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"waow i hope ralph pulls through and gets it together this time"

How do you motherfuckers not already know the ending to this story?

Sobriety Arc #37 will totally be different this time, guys!

I honestly think this is what kills the Ralph.

And I don’t mean in the sense of “people who are so addicted to alcohol die from withdrawals“.
What I mean is, the only thing (I believe) keeping Ralph from completely being a drug abusing alcoholic 24/7 is the fact that his pride is still such a big deal to him that he will pretend to be sober & not have a problem, during which he would at least try to not get so fucked up that he can put on some resemblance of a show.

I genuinely believe that if Ralph accepts the monicker that he is just a fucked up alcoholic who is doomed to constantly fall off the wagon, he will give up all pretenses of any sobriety and will just drink until he dies.

His fragile ego and self image are the only things that let his liver have the occasional siẽsta .

 

[Elmo]

Ethan Ralph going to rehab will be a waste of his money. Give it a couple of weeks being sober and he will be back to washing down Xanex with a bottle of Makers Mark.

Ralph's poor impulse control is always his undoing. At the first sign of stress, he maneuvers to drugs and alcohol. Addicts also frequently relapse when they think they are doing well and somehow "invincible" or "cured" from their addiction, so they think they can have just one toke or drink and everything will be fine which just further leads to being back on the wagon. It's a never ending cycle because Ralph has no support or healthy coping skills, not to mention that Ralph openly admits to being made of vice. And why wouldn't he be? It's his only means of temporarily escaping the nightmarish Hell he's built around himself. He shit the bed so now he has to lay in it, but the jokes on you, haterz and aylawgz, he loves shit!

 

[AnOminous]

Men like Milo and Dax get together all the time in California, bigot!

Milo is into dudes, not fat women like Juju.

 

[GaryGray]

Isn't a huge part of rehab therapy? How can Ralph make any progress when he doesn't speak Spanish?

 

[Vernon Dozier]

Isn't a huge part of rehab therapy? How can Ralph make any progress when he doesn't speak Spanish?

He can use his phone to translate like on 90 day fiancé, with equally disastrous results.

 

[Trigger Me Timbers]

Isn't a huge part of rehab therapy? How can Ralph make any progress when he doesn't speak Spanish?

El Therapist:
“La tristeza que sientes en lo más profundo de tu cuerpo de cerdo obviamente se debe al hecho de que tu padre abusó sexualmente de ti, y desde entonces has estado tratando de llenar ese vacío con drogas y alcohol para olvidar. Estás profundamente decepcionado por no poder mantener una relación y tienes un control deficiente de tus impulsos. Creo que también eres extremadamente homosexual y este es otro mecanismo de defensa para reprimir esas heces, los hábitos alimenticios que has desarrollado.”

Ralph:
“Uhhhh… Grassy-ass Ah-me-go. I feel uhh… mucho better. Uhhh, uno torta pour-favor? Oh and can you refill my Xanax script please”

 

[porkWellington]

El Therapist:
“La tristeza que sientes en lo más profundo de tu cuerpo de cerdo obviamente se debe al hecho de que tu padre abusó sexualmente de ti, y desde entonces has estado tratando de llenar ese vacío con drogas y alcohol para olvidar. Estás profundamente decepcionado por no poder mantener una relación y tienes un control deficiente de tus impulsos. Creo que también eres extremadamente homosexual y este es otro mecanismo de defensa para reprimir esas heces, los hábitos alimenticios que has desarrollado.”

Ralph:
“Grassy-ass Ah-me-go. I feel uhh… mucho better. Uhhh, uno torta pour-favor? Oh and can you refill my Xanax script please”

La therapista:
"Hola"

Ralph:
"What's your email address bish imma send you a PDF of Fear and Loathing?"

 

[MirnaMinkoff]

Isn't a huge part of rehab therapy? How can Ralph make any progress when he doesn't speak Spanish?

No therapists want to deal with BPD, much less BPD addicts. BPD is incredibly difficult to treat, but just like with addiction, Ralph would have to recognize he has a problem and commit to a long, slow, process to try and change it.

Easiest solution is to have another drink.

 

[Pale Empress]

Isn't a huge part of rehab therapy? How can Ralph make any progress when he doesn't speak Spanish?

The Yucatan is known for having loads of expatriates and tourists, so a lot of the customer facing workers speak English. Ralph made a point of bragging about this when he was trying to court/stalk his physical therapist.

I'd wager health workers/specialists are pretty fluent in English down there, the same way that most health workers in the American south west speak proficient Spanish.

 

[Capt. Jean Luc Ritard]

No therapists want to deal with BPD, much less BPD addicts. BPD is incredibly difficult to treat, but just like with addiction, Ralph would have to recognize he has a problem and commit to a long, slow, process to try and change it.

Easiest solution is to have another drink.

Pretty sure BPD is impossible to treat. If you have it you're just fucked for life.

 

[Schpoots]

It's funny how dax is just cutting him off and letting vito do the wetwork. He knows ralph will go skitzo mode and drop tons of DM's and other incrimating stuff if he gets into a slapfight. And unfortunately ralph is taking the bait and being steered off target. Since when does masterson NOT want drama for his show? He can't go as low as ralph so he just has to hide behind vito. Ralph is too dumb to realize that's why he was blocked. He doesn't want to directly engage the ralphamale and risk all sorts of shit being dragged into public.

 

[Ethan Ralph Is 5'1"]

Isn't a huge part of rehab therapy? How can Ralph make any progress when he doesn't speak Spanish?

He'll be fine, tbh.
He knows the essentials:

 

[MirnaMinkoff]

It's funny how dax is just cutting him off and letting vito do the wetwork. He knows ralph will go skitzo mode and drop tons of DM's and other incrimating stuff if he gets into a slapfight. And unfortunately ralph is taking the bait and being steered off target. Since when does masterson NOT want drama for his show? He can't go as low as ralph so he just has to hide behind vito. Ralph is too dumb to realize that's why he was blocked. He doesn't want to directly engage the ralphamale and risk all sorts of shit being dragged into public.

Ralph doesn’t have shit to drop on Masterson, at least not any receipts. Ralph was even whining about how he sends Dax walls of text in DMs and gets three word replies. Dax, OTOH, could drop some hilarious DMs that Ralph sent him over the years. Hell Dax even got Ralph to put the phone down and not take selfies at their big Las Vegas NYE party…that’s an amazing feat and shows the power he held over him. Ralph takes photo of his cheap Mexican lunches ffs.

Dax has always held Ralph at arms length. He was only willing to do a bit of IRL bro time when he felt he could gain from Ralph’s show. Dax saw audience overlap and figured he could market himself to KS viewers.

Dax started giving the hard cold shoulder to Ralph once he was kicked off Cozy. Ralph has no upside for Dax anymore and was spiraling on top of that.

I think people understand Dax is an LA guy to his core. Ralph didn’t understand it was business for Dax, but in LA they will drop acid and “soul bond” with dummies to milk a little market value if they are in the same demo. This is why LA and Hollywood has earned its reputation for being slimy and sleazy.

For all Ralph’s yammering about Tony Soprano and the mafia he apparently missed the “it’s not personal, it’s strictly business” lesson. If Ralph gets his numbers up I’m sure Dax will start taking his calls again.