🐷 Ethan Ralph's Twitter / Tweets - A collection of thoughts, insights and musings from the internet's favorite gunted hobbit

[Tiny Chinaman]

D

Ralph doesn’t have shit to drop on Masterson, at least not any receipts. Ralph was even whining about how he sends Dax walls of text in DMs and gets three word replies. Dax, OTOH, could drop some hilarious DMs that Ralph sent him over the years. Hell Dax even got Ralph to put the phone down and not take selfies at their big Las Vegas NYE party…that’s an amazing feat and shows the power he held over him. Ralph takes photo of his cheap Mexican lunches ffs.

Dax has always held Ralph at arms length. He was only willing to do a bit of IRL bro time when he felt he could gain from Ralph’s show. Dax saw audience overlap and figured he could market himself to KS viewers.

Dax started giving the hard cold shoulder to Ralph once he was kicked off Cozy. Ralph has no upside for Dax anymore and was spiraling on top of that.

I think people understand Dax is an LA guy to his core. Ralph didn’t understand it was business for Dax, but in LA they will drop acid and “soul bond” with dummies to milk a little market value if they are in the same demo. This is why LA and Hollywood has earned its reputation for being slimy and sleazy.

For all Ralph’s yammering about Tony Soprano and the mafia he apparently missed the “it’s not personal, it’s strictly business” lesson. If Ralph gets his numbers up I’m sure Dax will start taking his calls again.

Dax the type of nigga that don’t let u use your own phone in his house

 

[GaryGray]

The Yucatan is known for having loads of expatriates and tourists, so a lot of the customer facing workers speak English. Ralph made a point of bragging about this when he was trying to court/stalk his physical therapist.

I'd wager health workers/specialists are pretty fluent in English down there, the same way that most health workers in the American south west speak proficient Spanish.

The American centric services tend to have closer to American prices. Ralph was bragging about food but a burger still cost $15. For $900 I doubt much is covered. Wouldn't be suprised if food and medicine is billed al carte.

 

[AncientPhosphur]

He’s not going to rehab. At best he’s going to hole up in a hotel and tell his supporters he’s in rehab

 

[Dixieland Buckaroo]

Ralph doesn’t have shit to drop on Masterson, at least not any receipts. Ralph was even whining about how he sends Dax walls of text in DMs and gets three word replies. Dax, OTOH, could drop some hilarious DMs that Ralph sent him over the years. Hell Dax even got Ralph to put the phone down and not take selfies at their big Las Vegas NYE party…that’s an amazing feat and shows the power he held over him. Ralph takes photo of his cheap Mexican lunches ffs.

Dax has always held Ralph at arms length.

Ralph bitching about this was a highlight of the interview (up there with the cow outfit to a rave reveal and Milo running Vito off). The other thing I picked up from it was that Ralph didn't understand how he sounded like a woman (at least to Dax).

Ralph sending walls of text to Dick, simply responded with, "Wow, that's rough!" is prototypical man behavior. Dax wrote a book about it (nearly 20 years ago). Ralph never really understood their relationship, and is only now starting to realize the power dynamic.

Dax the type of nigga that don’t let u use your own phone in his house

I mean, if Ralph's correct and Dick has a drug drawer in his kitchen, I certainly wouldn't want the Ragepig taking pics of it either. Ralph almost always ends up posting private info of himself and/or his location.

 

[Capt. Jean Luc Ritard]

The American centric services tend to have closer to American prices. Ralph was bragging about food but a burger still cost $15. For $900 I doubt much is covered. Wouldn't be suprised if food and medicine is billed al carte.

I guarantee Ralph did 0 research and Perpsifaggy or whomever just said "it's probably like $900" and Ralph's piggy brain went "Jackpot! For only $900 all my problems will be solved for me!"

Once he finds out it's more than he can afford, like $901, he'll back out and have some cope about how he decided it was better to do it himself because he really does have the willpower and doesn't need the kind of support rehab would provide. And then he's gonna get fucked up again and fall over in his chair again and poop his pants again.

 

[Cane Skretteburg]

Oh my god, Ralph is on Pregabalin. For those who don't know Pregabalin has a somewhat nasty side effect of making you drowsy and dizzy which is worsened by alcohol and weed. If Ralph hasn't taken it before and can't stay sober (which is a guarantee) we may see a zombie Ralph next stream.

This guy called it.

 

[MirnaMinkoff]

mean, if Ralph's correct and Dick has a drug drawer in his kitchen, I certainly wouldn't want the Ragepig taking pics of it either. Ralph almost always ends up posting private info of himself and/or his location.

Why did Ralph know where Dax’s drug drawer was is the better question. You lock up your medicine and liquor cabinet if you have someone like Ralph coming over.

I guess Dax kept his coke and pills elsewhere but figured Piggy wouldn’t bother his drawer full of acid and designer psychedelics. You cant OD, and generally can’t abuse psychedelics like you can pills, booze and coke. I mean you’d have to be a turbo retard to just guzzle some liquid LSD on a whim in someone else’s house, so ofc Ralph did just that.

Now Ralph is stunned Dax didn’t want his very obviously inebriated ass showing up at his doorstep again. I’m shocked Dax even considered letting Piggy come to his house again, if he even did. I get the idea Dax didn’t give a hard no to the idea of Ralph and Milo coming over to record a show because he’s desperate for content for his dead gay show with Vito. But seeing Ralph off his tits just reminded Dax he didn’t need the views bad enough to let the pig monster in the door.

Ralph must have them started “I need a W bro, plz” and Dax got even more squicked out and uncomfortable, forcing his GF and Vito to try and tard wrangle Ralph and take the heat off himself. I wonder if Vito got a bonus this week for being Dax’s representative to Gunt and handling all the messy sweeping and wetwork.

You can tell Vito’s instructions for PodAwful was to keep Ralph calm and kiss his ass as much as possible. I think both Jesse and Vito were tardwrangling Ralph for Dax. Jesse was supposed to pretend he was anti-Dax and on Ralph’s hurt feefee side, while Vito jannied. Everyone has to handle Ralph like a grumpy toddler.

I’m still LMAO at Vito going so low as to say, “Dax and 80’s girl are always watching your show when I come over. They think you’re a very talented broadcaster”. Someone needs to clip that shit and play it as a superchat sound bite over Ralph snoring through Fox News clips.

 

[jewsernotfound]

This guy called it.

interesting catch. ralph did mention within the last 3 streams, i wanna say it was the new years stream, when speaking with chat about his ambien that gabapentin might be an option.

i've done my fair share of fuckin around with neurontin and they absolutely wreck you if taken correctly, which is to say i popped 4-6 initially and 2 more every 30-45 minutes, topping out around 15-20 of them until i pass the hell out.

 

[Sam Losco's Wife]

Ralph's best, most iconic, most triumphant moments are when he's intoxicated. Imagine Hunter S. Thompson going "I'm gonna stop doing drugs and switch from gonzo journalism to writing romance novels for women and fags." Dax isn't going to magically start being a friend to Ralph after years of treating him like shit, especially if he's only got 100 people watching him.

Alcohol and drugs are an investment into the show as the return in superchats is greater than if he's sober. Ralph made $500 taking a header into a bunch of piss bottles. If you're sober you're not even going to have piss bottles laying around.

 

[porkWellington]

I guarantee Ralph did 0 research and Perpsifaggy or whomever just said "it's probably like $900" and Ralph's piggy brain went "Jackpot! For only $900 all my problems will be solved for me!"

Once he finds out it's more than he can afford, like $901, he'll back out and have some cope about how he decided it was better to do it himself because he really does have the willpower and doesn't need the kind of support rehab would provide. And then he's gonna get fucked up again and fall over in his chair again and poop his pants again.

Ralph couldn't even stick with AA and I'm pretty sure that's free. I think Ralph's more likely to fail because he's terminally online and he doesn't want to tackle that addiction which is exasperating his other addictions.

 

[hawkisnight]

Why does he even need rehab? Just do what Nick does. Stop taking drugs. It's that easy piggy. Nick Rekieta told me so!

 

[UCantCCPMe]

The idea of Ralph actually going and completing rehab is both laughably ridiculous and mathmatically absurd. You don't need to be a MIT graduate to know there is a statistically better chance that Scarlett Johansson will show up at Null's door over in Switzlevania with a hot pizza and a pair of kneepads on, than for Ralph to ever complete a rehab program that he isn't forced to comply with by order of the state.

 

[Ratso Bronum]

The American centric services tend to have closer to American prices. Ralph was bragging about food but a burger still cost $15. For $900 I doubt much is covered. Wouldn't be suprised if food and medicine is billed al carte.

Medical care for most Mexicans is provided by IMSS which is a single-payer system similar to that of Canada or the UK. It is only available to citizens or permanent residents. Ralph is on a temporary resident visa and you must live in Mexico for at least 4 years to apply for permanent residency. Additionally, services are provided strictly in Spanish only.

This means he will have to use the private healthcare system which is about par with the US in both quality and price. For example, a hospital bed can run $1,000/night USD.

 

[AnOminous]

But seeing Ralph off his tits just reminded Dax he didn’t need the views bad enough to let the pig monster in the door.

My favorite was when he left him alone with a shotgun. The pure love.

 

[ChadBrazilian]

he'll go to rehab, come out, do a clean party stream, relapse by 3 months absolute tops.

ralph's biggest problem is he has zero healthy ways to handle stress. the moment he's stressed out he becomes a violent binge monster.

Rejection seems to be the main thing that bothers Ralph. Specially when it comes from women. Some of worst binges come from Pantsu, Pantsuella and/or Faith giving him a cold shoulder. Hence the theme of 'loyalty' in his drunk rants; complaining that everybody "backstabs" him. He needs not only to be more resilient towards stress; but he needs to learn to be less needy. He needs lo be less emotionally dependant; to care less about attention of random hoes.

 

[GeorgeHWBush]

Was the PodAwful stream interesting or was it as boring as everyone assumed it would be?

 

[UCantCCPMe]

Rejection seems to be the main thing that bothers Ralph. Specially when it comes from women. Some of worst binges come from Pantsu, Pantsuella and/or Faith giving him a cold shoulder. Hence the theme of 'loyalty' in his drunk rants; complaining that everybody "backstabs" him. He needs not only to be more resilient towards stress; but he needs to learn to be less needy. He needs lo be less emotionally dependant; to care less about attention of random hoes. to stop acting like a moody 14-year-old girl that writes angsty gay poetry and burns herself with cigarettes.

Giving Ralph genuine advice is a waste of time, he will do the exact opposite just to spite you, even if it hurts himself in the process. Better to just bully him into more incoherent hollarin fits.

 

[Capt. Jean Luc Ritard]

Rejection seems to be the main thing that bothers Ralph. Specially when it comes from women. Some of worst binges come from Pantsu, Pantsuella and/or Faith giving him a cold shoulder. Hence the theme of 'loyalty' in his drunk rants; complaining that everybody "backstabs" him. He needs not only to be more resilient towards stress; but he needs to learn to be less needy. He needs lo be less emotionally dependant; to care less about attention of random hoes.

Yes, Ralph thinks loyalty is something he is entitled to and not dependent on his actions. He doesn't think that people's feelings towards him are allowed to change based on his behavior. If you said you loved him once, you're "betraying" him by not loving him anymore even though he made your life hell and threatened to kill you. It's your fault and you're a bad person for leaving.

It's probably because his ugly mom stayed with Ronnie even though he was a psycho retard and that's the only model he has to go off of.

 

[AncientPhosphur]

I’m just waiting for the inevitable Ralph falls in love with the Mexican therapist he pays money to talk to him at rehab arc

 

[4090 Chad]

Was the PodAwful stream interesting or was it as boring as everyone assumed it would be?

The highlight was an eventual mini bloodsports session between Milo and Vito.