DarksydePhil / TheyCallMeDSP / Phil Burnell: General Discussion #2

  • 🔧 At about Midnight EST I am going to completely fuck up the site trying to fix something.

Where is DSP?

  • He is in Connecticut visiting family/funeral

    Votes: 213 47.9%
  • He and Khet are on a honeymoon style trip

    Votes: 12 2.7%
  • He has an issue (s) with the HOA requiring immediate fixes

    Votes: 27 6.1%
  • Comcast/ISP/Internet Issues

    Votes: 16 3.6%
  • He is taking a Kino Casino style break by not announcing when he comes back

    Votes: 30 6.7%
  • Phil and/or Khet Health Issue

    Votes: 48 10.8%
  • This is a social experiment from DSP

    Votes: 99 22.2%

  • Total voters
    445
  • Poll closed .
I think this year is gonna be interesting in terms of the ramifications of KC and the ludicrous spending on his e-girl gaming set up.

My prediction for this year will be that he will beg for a 50 series GPU then proceed to have a "Installing my NEW 50 SERIES GRAPHIC CARD" tech support stream only to fuck it up and have it not work. Alternatively he will just buy a new pc with the 50 series gpu installed.
 
I think this year is gonna be interesting in terms of the ramifications of KC and the ludicrous spending on his e-girl gaming set up.

My prediction for this year will be that he will beg for a 50 series GPU then proceed to have a "Installing my NEW 50 SERIES GRAPHIC CARD" tech support stream only to fuck it up and have it not work. Alternatively he will just buy a new pc with the 50 series gpu installed.
Might even see another PC beg he is having serious issues with using too many USB devices that draw too much power and a different thing malfunctions each stream. He COULD just buy a legit powered hub and set it up but we all know that whatever he buys is gonna be crap.

I'd recommend this prestream to anyone if you want to see how fucked up his tech situation is getting it's comical at this point. He manages to ignore any good suggestion and shit on them while taking the shit ones seriously which makes it even funnier.
 
So I was just watching him stream Dark Souls. I've been watching Phil since way before he was on the radar as a lolcow because back in the day he was one of the very few people on youtube doing lets plays of games I was interested in. I've watched him butcher just about every gaming franchise I enjoy and laughed along.

I haven't followed him much for the last few years because he's been so damn boring but Dark Souls 1 is one of my favourite chill out games and I've watched him play pretty much all of the series including the rage quitting and the redemption runs and he's more hilariously inept at Souls than most games so it's something I can still muster some interest in watching him play. I'm going to sperg about Dark Souls and Phil so I'm going to spoiler it.

So he's at the Four Kings. Considering Phil's sole (no pun intended) boss strat in the Souls franchise is DPSing every boss (unless it's cheesing from a distance or letting an NPC do the work for him) I was thinking 'well at least he should be fine here. He's played this game a bunch of times and it's one of the few bosses where running up to the boss and hitting it as hard as you can as fast as you can is a viable and even preferable strat'. But no. Phil seems to have a dodge build with low poise and stamina and only 10 estus flasks. He's using a heavy weapon. He's using heavy attacks. Uh-oh.

He ended the stream after several brief failed attempts but it kills me and tickles me at the same time that this is one of the very few bosses in Souls where his strat of just running up and wailing on a boss while tanking damage (or, you know, using a shield to block, or dodging and resuming your attacks) is actually viable and preferable (if you have the build and weapons to do so ofc), and is usually considered one of the easiest bosses in the series and he's STILL struggling after playing the game at least 4 times I can remember.


Since Phil still doesn't know how to build stats or about things like scaling or soft caps after years playing the series he's attempting builds and strats he hears are strong but doesn't realise the people using those things (except for when they're noob cheese strats) actually know how to dodge, how to parry, how many hits they can get in without getting greedy. They know the movesets and can successfully dodge attacks so they don't need to rely on shields or higher stats to achieve a quick and easy win.

Phil is like newbies to Dark Souls who complain about how hard it is because they always do the same thing: Try to DPS, dodge spam blindly, and spam attacks until they get hit. Usually those people learn 'spamming dodge wastes stamina and can make me get cornered or roll into attacks',. Usually they realise 'I can only get in 1-2 hits safely unless the boss is doing -insert action here-'. Usually they realise that timing is really important and that if they can't rely on their timing that shields are the best way to safely be able to run in and attack and make mistakes without being too badly punished most of the time. I think the biggest virtue you can have in Souls is patience: the patience to learn patterns, the patience to wait for openings, the patience to do safe hits without getting greedy, and the patience to use reliable and balanced builds and weapons instead of gimmicky ones. Once you acquire the skillset and knowledge to play riskier builds and try riskier strategies then the world's your oyster. Until then, just learn the damn game.

The players that never realise those things generally rage quit Souls and think it's dumb. Not Phil, though. He persists with the series, never learning ANYTHING from replaying the same game, let alone the franchise as a whole, and blames the game the whole time. It's fascinating. My husband finds it infuriating but I honestly think it's almost impressive as well as fascinating how you can sink so much time into Souls and never learn a single thing.
 
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Just saying...
 
Sorry Phail but you can't help but give shit away for free. You're that much of a dumbass. As long as you're on the interwebs, people will get free laughs.
It stops being a fucking meme when you start charging 300 bucks for something.
He can stop it being a meme when he leaves the interwebs
He can't keep his story straight, he's losing his fucking mind.
He can never keep his lies straight.
You’re absolutely right. I just wanted to point out that something so mundane as not actively choosing to save a few bucks shows his whole philosophy on money. We’re talking about someone that didn’t know what a ‘rainy day fund’ meant, after all.
And it's been a cyclone lately.
I like how there a couple second delay to him reacting to the mic falling down. Even irl, the cannon brother are fucking with him.
Rollback miccode
Hairmuda Triangle
 
He's beyond desperate tonight. Ten minutes in and already at least three begs and also explained that it's normal that when people enjoy a streamer they contribute.

What's it been, three of the last four streams where he didn't hit the goal? And he's already cracking. If ICS actually disappears (doubt it) then he is going to get extra pathetic.
 
I love his argument when it comes to smaller streamers doing 100x more work than he does while not expecting instant gratification in tips. "They stream cause it's a hobby! I stream cause it's my job!" As if he's the only smuck who thinks he can stream and make a living? He's so fucking delusional, you don't know if his takes are ragebait or not.
 
Phil said the screw 'is a peice of garbage that stripped itself'. Much like the glass of water that 'decided to spill on him' we once again have phil giving inanimate objects agency just so he can blame them and not himself.
He was missing the nut, right? That’s why it couldn’t tighten?
"Fem- female cop...white female cop being...most...competent cop on the sce- oh god...!"
Phil is exhibiting Mersh (stroke babbling) and Tomlinson (threats to neutralize and imprison people on highly questionable grounds) behaviors. I’m new to the game (less than a year) but he seems to be declining. Putting his life on display is absolutely driving him insane and deeper into alcoholism. It’s all fascinating and appalling.
 
'I didn't, I didn't over torque it or anything its just garbage, you know... made in some fucking... awful... you know... quality product awful...awful ing(redient?) you know, low grow(n), great metal'

So I think he was trying to say the 'ingredients' for the screw is awful low quality/ not great metal and thus not a quality product. Of course you don't really say ingredients for non food so he stopped himself and then said great metal instead of 'not great metal'. I have no idea where the 'low grown' came from. Did his gin brain combine the idea of bad ingredients with food thats not home grown being low quality, and thus the screw is 'low grown'?
 
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