- Joined
- Feb 3, 2013
Thought we had a thread on this, but apparently not.
Mundane over here. Was depressed at some point. Got over it.
Mundane over here. Was depressed at some point. Got over it.
Mental Illness Thread
- Thread starter Mourning Dove
- Start date
L
LM 697
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kiwifarms.net
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- Feb 3, 2013
L
LM 697
Guest
kiwifarms.net
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- Feb 3, 2013
I have a few symptoms of aspergers (which explains why I'm so spergy), and a massive inferiority complex. Don't know if that can be considered a real mental sickness, though.
- Joined
- Feb 3, 2013
I have to use the search function before making new topics. Does that count?
E
EI 903
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kiwifarms.net
Look to the forum member on your left. Then to the one on your right. They're both autistic. You're normal though.
- Joined
- Jan 27, 2014
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- Feb 3, 2013
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- Jan 27, 2014
PopOfColor
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Dec 27, 2013
I have ADD/HD but it only gives me a lot of issues when driving. I was in special ed till 5th grade then got tossed into "normal" classes because I could learn as long as you let me shake my feet and not really set still in my desk.
- Joined
- Feb 3, 2013
@Himawari posted this in another thread, and I found it to be quite good:
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- Joined
- Oct 1, 2013
I have Aspergers, so Chris would probably hate me. More so because I actually have a job and act like I'm not a self-entitled baby.
- Joined
- Apr 4, 2014
PTSD, although thankfully it's not quite as bad as it used to be.
Oh, and also gender identity disorder, but y'know... "duh".
Oh, and also gender identity disorder, but y'know... "duh".
- Joined
- Jan 27, 2014
We're certainly glad to have you here! I've been in similar situations, but in my case I was too depressed to even follow through with several suicide attempts. But that's the great thing about bipolar disorder---your highs are great! Sure, you might be hallucinating & not sleeping for days at a time, but what the hell! Then your lows are. . .well, really low.
. . .did you seriously meet Anna, though?
Posting in this thread makes me feel... Weird. I mean a lot of you guys have been formally diagnosed, so me moaning about my problems seems off somehow. Not that I didn't try to get a fucking psych evaluation.
When I was a teenager I was convinced I was totally insane, whenever I went to any professionals they just shrugged me off, which was frustrating and I didn't understand why they wouldn't help. They kept referring me to this place called "share" which was utter bullshit. It was one of those "youth advice" places where anyone could drop in whenever and "talk" to people about their problems. The people who worked there were often people's mums who had spent 6 weeks on some shitty counselling NVQ so they could make a bit of money.
I went in there once asking if they could refer me to a proper doctor about getting an evaluation or something, anything, and their response was "fuck off it's our lunch time come back in a few hours."
I did come back in a few hours, and they told me "to contact my GP" - the one who had referred me there.
I went to my GP about 3-4 times before realising they were full of shit. One of the last times I went it was because of insomnia - I'm sure you guys know how difficult it is for me to sleep. The bastard referred me to share because "in teenagers the leading cause of insomnia is stress and you need someone to talk to."
I have very little faith in this place, I probably did have severe depression but noo because I was teenage they assumed it was just me being angsty.
The more time that passes, the more I start to doubt my self-diagnosis; it's a medical professionals job to pick up on all this shit and if they didn't, then it surely wasn't there.
I tried to kill myself a couple times, once through tablets (cocodamol, I took like 15, made me puke my guts up, made me a bit delirious for a bit, taught me a fucking lesson), once through hanging. That hurt, a lot. We have a lot of nautical rope in our house and I decided it'd be a good idea to tie it to the curtain rail, that'd be sturdy enough for my weight!
It wasn't, and it was a very surreal moment. Bracing yourself for an eternity of nothing just to come crashing back into reality, really fucking hard like. The curtain rail snapped in two and I fell to the ground. It was the first time I had felt any subconscious will to live, I can't really remember those seconds when I was falling or hit the ground, I just remember being on the floor with rope burn on my neck and a sore arse
I think I've gotten over it now though, maybe. It might be just because I self medicate. I gave up trying to be formally diagnosed because it's obvious I'm never gonna find out off medical professionals; I have a theory to what causes it and something to fix it, that's all that matters.
My totally unfounded theory is that I have a problem with seratonin. Like it doesn't get distributed properly or something. Or I'm not producing enough. To be honest the "why" doesn't bother me, knowing how to de with it is the part I focus on.
MDMA makes you overproduce seratonin, which is why there's a euphoria. However people are supposed to crash, as my psychology teacher said it "you burn out all your seratonin and then feel really grumpy."
But it doesn't work like that I don't think. The first time I took MDMA I was being destructive, but I can hands down say it was the only thing that has ever helped. Some may get offended or whatever from my glorification of illegal drugs but I had felt this kinda numb weirdness for as long as I could remember, it left me after I took MDMA. Ocassionally it comes back, but only temporarily, I imagine that's just normal ups and downs and I don't mind that much. Well, if I go longer than 6 months without MDMA it starts to come back, but I dunno, maybe it's just cuz I'm naive, that doesn't seem like that bad a trade.
Holy fuck, Melchett. D: I really don't know what to say, other than I hope you're doing a little better now, at least? I think clinical trials are being done on MDMA's "therapeutic potential," but who knows when we'll see those results.
Also, I had been to several different psychiatrists for years after my bipolar diagnoses---from the time I was seventeen to now---& I've only had one really good psychiatrist. She diagnosed in five minutes what three doctors hadn't figured out in seven years. One of them I'd been seeing for five. So don't give up, okay?
I totally didn't know there was a search function I am truly an exceptional individual
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- Joined
- Mar 22, 2014
Hi
I wasn't sure if if wanted to share my mental illness with you all, but I'm glad there are many people here that have the same. I've had people judge me because of this, friends, family, ousiders and it's kind of hard to know who to trust.
But I will start, I just hope this isn't too heavy for people to read as I'm sure I am going to end up writing my whole life story. I am really sorry if this upsets people, annoys you, upset you, or makes you think I am only trying to get attention. I've had plenty of people tell me that over the years, Just let me know.
I have depression, well a lifetime of depression, I think I was born with it because I have never been happy, truly happy. Then my step brother sexually abused me from the age of 11 to 16 while being bullied at school. I went into a really deep depression, but managed to continue normally until 2007 when I started to get deeply depressed again, I was raped by my sisters boyfriend who told me he has wanted to do this to me since the age of 12. I got better, but in 2009 I woke up unable to move my body, I've been diagnosed as having PTSD, conversion disorder, anxiety (which I have had for years, and has been very overwhelming to the point it has stopped me working, because I faint.)
I am thankful I am slowly getting better, but I still have times when I have falshback, or dreams about what has happened. I can walk a little better than I could after having therapy and physio, though I am still not 100%.
I know these will never fully go away, but I am working on controlling them.
Again I am sorry if this has upset anybody.
I wasn't sure if if wanted to share my mental illness with you all, but I'm glad there are many people here that have the same. I've had people judge me because of this, friends, family, ousiders and it's kind of hard to know who to trust.
But I will start, I just hope this isn't too heavy for people to read as I'm sure I am going to end up writing my whole life story. I am really sorry if this upsets people, annoys you, upset you, or makes you think I am only trying to get attention. I've had plenty of people tell me that over the years, Just let me know.
I have depression, well a lifetime of depression, I think I was born with it because I have never been happy, truly happy. Then my step brother sexually abused me from the age of 11 to 16 while being bullied at school. I went into a really deep depression, but managed to continue normally until 2007 when I started to get deeply depressed again, I was raped by my sisters boyfriend who told me he has wanted to do this to me since the age of 12. I got better, but in 2009 I woke up unable to move my body, I've been diagnosed as having PTSD, conversion disorder, anxiety (which I have had for years, and has been very overwhelming to the point it has stopped me working, because I faint.)
I am thankful I am slowly getting better, but I still have times when I have falshback, or dreams about what has happened. I can walk a little better than I could after having therapy and physio, though I am still not 100%.
I know these will never fully go away, but I am working on controlling them.
Again I am sorry if this has upset anybody.
- Joined
- Oct 31, 2013
Bloody Hell, you've had a hard life there. All I can say is good on you for surviving and keep on trying.
- Joined
- Mar 23, 2013
That really sucks. But you know, don't convince yourself that those things can't ever fully go away. I mean, of course you're never going to forget that they happened, but that doesn't mean that they have any bearing on you as time goes on. You might not ever be able to "move on", but you can absolutely move forward to the point where those things, for all practical purposes, basically happened to another person.
- Joined
- Jan 27, 2014
Goddamn, what sick fucks. I'm sorry you had to go through all that. I've been on the receiving end of numerous sexual assaults, but I've never actually been raped. D: But while I've never dealt with exactly the same trauma, one thing I do know is that while those nightmares may never go away, they do become less frequent with time (& intensive counseling). & I think the hardest thing is having to relive those memories over & over in therapy. Not even just in therapy---in everyday life. I can't even watch Law & Order anymore, because depictions of sex crimes or child abuse of any sort makes me flip my fucking shit. & certain situations just exacerbate these flashbacks. My dad was super abusive, & even after being away from him for years, shit my mom or siblings would do would send me into an episode. The best thing I was able to do was get away from that environment, even though it meant a stay in the psych ward, a group home, & now a mental health recovery complex.
Was the paralysis due to physical trauma, or something else, if you don't mind me asking?
I know how frustrating it can be to deal with mental illness, & trauma on top of that. I actually had to stop working & drop out of school because I would start experiencing anxiety-induced psychotic episodes. So you're not alone, trust me. But everything will be okay. Stay strong. Seek help, take your meds (if applicable), & keep doing what you're doing. You've managed to make it this far already! It takes amazing strength & courage to deal with what you've gone through, & to tell your story as well! You can only keep getting better. No one can control you---they will only if you let them. You're in charge of your life. Take it back, one step at a time. Everyone else can go fuck off or choke on a dick.
Hang in there! You've got DING DANG DIRTY TROLLS in your corner, rooting for you!
