- Joined
- Jun 17, 2024
Alex Hogendorp / Lunar Eclipse Paradox / Solar Eclipse Paradox / BetterSkatez / depechemodefan1999 / KermisVoyager / KermisVoyager97 / KermisVoyager1997 / lainrenaissance / Rankin Inlet / ariaoftrauma / Funky The Clown / Vukmir Cilley / Chords of Brazil / Ebola Hunter / The Ushuaia Project / Johnny4Twenty / Poopy Farts Band / MC Ankaa / Shitinyourlitterbox / SakuyaisBestName / SuperHypercane / Norilsk / AngelMorningStar / FortniteFan 232
Now, allow me to introduce you to Alex Hogendorp, AKA @Lunar Eclipse Paradox, or his tranny name "Ankaa". Alex here is a Canadian weeb, autist, and schizophrenic retard, just like fellow Canadian Mike Thurlow! Like the other Angry Canadian, Alex has wildly inconsistent and varying beliefs, a bad habit of oversharing, and a terminal inability to log off and touch grass. Some of his beliefs include the idea that the government fakes space images, Flip-flopping between whether or not the earth is flat, Holocaust denialism, and in a complete 180, developing TDS and deciding that Trump was coming for his Canadian tugboat.
On top of being a complete schizo, Alex is unsurprisingly a massive degenerate. From amputee fetishism to a love for lolis, this faggot is an extensive encyclopedia of some of the most depraved and fetishistic material out there. So much, that he constantly powerleveled about being in contact with his idol Noushintou Hoshi, an extremely obscure and mentally ill yaoi mangaka who has become the apple of Alex's eye. With all of that out of the way, let's get on with the shitshow, shall we?
This thread was a major collaborative project and could not have been done without the assistance of many, many people. Thank you to everyone who assisted in the creation of this thread!
Early Life Eclipse Paradox
[a]Alex Hogdendorp is a 25-year-old bisexual autistic Canadian from Winnipeg, Manitoba. Alex moved to Airdrie, Alberta, in 2001 and was diagnosed with Autism that same year. In school, Alex was required to have a school aid (see: Tard Wrangler) throughout school. Despite this, Alex still struggled. According to Alex, he trolled Roblox players before he made a YouTube account. Alex is autistically obsessed with anime and lolicon.
On April 18th, 2024, Alex came out as bisexual. The only reason we know this is that he wrote an entire Wikitubia page on himself.
. After Alex got phonebooked by @Sperg Spectating and @Bad as Can . KiwiFarmers started looking into his public Facebook account for more information on him. As of right now, we know that Alex has 2 sisters, a mother, and a father (whom he really hates because they both align different politically). One of Alex's sisters, Katie is a lesbian that got married to some ugly dyke. The other one is Alex's little sister, who has cancer. Alex's sister is doing fine and has since recovered.However, people on the KiwiFarms started alleging that Alex was inspired by his sick sister to dive deep into his fetishes. There is no concrete evidence for this, but it's something to keep in mind as we go deeper. If it isn't obvious from the opening images, Alex has struggled with mental health issues, such as admitting himself into a psych ward.
Lunar Exposed ParadoxAlex arrived at the Kiwi Farms in the spring of 2021 under the username Solar Eclipse Paradox before changing it to @Lunar Eclipse Paradox. His reason for joining are unknown, though he was likely trying to get more attention for his silly autistic obsession. During the downtime of 2022, he tried bringing negative attention to his YouTube channel, kermisvoyager1997:
And he'd do it again during the downtime of 2023:
This would be lost in the downtime and chaos of those years, until our glorious autist @dick brain arrived on the scene. See, Alex, being an autistic retard, could not stop posting about an obscure mangaka named Noushintou Hoshi:
Interestingly enough, he cannot decide if he loves or hates Hoshi-Senpai over here.
Mildly annoyed and quite curious, @dick brain looked into this mangaka. Turns out they were very obscure, with only a handful of references- all from the same three sources. Only @Lunar Eclipse Paradox, kermisvoyager1997, and someone named @ariaoftrauma were talking about them.
Deciding to dig into the YouTube channel (archive), @dick brain made the usual discovery: this is some obscure autistic weeb with interests across the board: precious metals, obscure mangaka, and some videos where he pretends to be a clown (we'll get to that in a moment). All of these were not only archived before @dick brain got there, they also overlapped with @Lunar Eclipse Paradox's posting history. And, well well well, what do we have here?
It's his Kiwi Farms pfp, of course, pretty much solidifying the connection between these two retards.
Curious, our glorious autist looked into the name kermisvoyager1997 on Kiwi Farms, and discovered it was here- mentioned exclusively by @Lunar Eclipse Paradox. Nobody else had even heard of this channel. So he technically qualified for the Easy to Track Username thread, but @dick brain decided to look into some of the other names mentioned in this post:
First, the username Ebola Hunter led to a Spotify channel, where Alex filled his catalogue with wannabe-Sewerslvt album covers and
The next step was to look deeper into kermisvoyager1997, as he allegedly collaborated with Ebola Hunter. It led to an abandoned YouTube channell called MarkhamKermis (A). But guess what was found?
THIS RETARD WROTE HIS OWN WIKITUBIA PAGE (A), COMPLETE WITH A PHOTO OF HIMSELF, HIS REAL NAME, HIS POLITICAL VIEWS, AND HIS SEXUALITY.
lol. lmao, even.
Now let's circle back to the clown thing. See, this guys nuttier than squirrel dung, so he sometimes pretends to be an ub3r-1337 hacker named Funky the Clown (archive) and... I'm sorry, but you need to see this to believe it.
This would lead to other channels being discovered, as described at the end of this post. It also led to his email, which has been featured in a number of security breaches:
Since his discovery, Alex has continued to lurk on Kiwi Farms, but rather than reply to posts here, he pumps out as many autistic responses as possible on YouTube at a lightning pace.
Lunar Eclipse MeltdownAlex would not take his induction into the Hall of Shame lightly, and would proceed to have one of the greatest meltdowns ever witnessed on this website.
His initial approach to being exposed was an attempt to pitybait and appeal to farmers, hoping we would go lightly on him.
Of course, that didn't work, so his next genius plan was to go "I WAS ONLY PRETENDING TO BE RETARDED".
(Post)
He even decided to make public posts saying that he's leaving the forum.
(Profile Page)
After most of us thought he would take his own advice and log off, he then decided to claim that whoever makes fun of him are "MAGAcultists".
(Post)
He even co-signed his own halal thread! How sweet.
(Post)
He then went into his self-deprecating rant against himself.
He then started glorifying his own behavior.
(Post)
He even claimed he was dead on his own YouTube channel, but that was of course a "social experiment", much like how his retardation is "satire".
(Post)
Even referencing his pink triangle.
(Post)
If you need reference, this is why he was given one.
(Post)
(Profile Page)
This is what he had to say about it.
(Profile Post)
It's especially ironic considering he was a prolific poster in the SamanthaPrater / Emily Nicole Cassidy thread.
(Post)
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In a great moment of hypocrisy, he wished cancer on the only open troon to use the Kiwi Farms, @Omori Boy
(Post)
Even though, he made this video.
Incase you were wondering why Alex is as retarded as he is, it's because of Mycotoxicosis or black mold poisoning.
(Post)
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He would be banned from the Easy to Track user thread, due to a dedicated thread to contain his autism appearing.
When Alex gained a thread ,he ultimately decided that he hated Kiwi Farms so much that he was deliberately getting himself banned.
(Post)
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Even though he said he didn't hate the farms during the initial slapfight.
(Post)
Alex decided that since he was phonebooked he will phonebook other users (Post), so a user by the name of @PurpleH4ck3rz. This user signed up to the forum the day after Alex was halal'd and immediately said he had information on Alex, while expressing they weren't Alex.
(Post)
This user then posted a link to site called exstat.ru, which is an IP Logger site (Post 1, Post 2).
(Post)
While everyone was expressing that it was a malicious link that no one should ever click, Alex kept saying it wasn't his alternative account but used the same exact site to create his own IP logger.
(Post)
He then faked his own screenshots from a supposed friend that obtained several IPs that people did click his link.
(Post)
He then posted the IPs.
(Post)
As it turns out a lot of those come from public IP addresses so whoever did click weren't phonebooked because the IPs didn't correlate with their usernames (Post). However, as it turns out that Alex clicked on his own malicious IP link and @notorietus correlated one of the IPs to his own address, confirming he lives in Canada.
(Post)
Even after everyone commented that he didn't have a proper phonebook on his hands, he still claimed victory.
(Post)
He decided to post his own "IP" in order for people to believe its not his (Post). He then claimed that Kiwi Farms will be offline due to the cirumstances all presented (Post). The situation was so hilarious to several users that start phonebooking fake IPs to get Alex to try to phonebook the location (Post). Alex was ultimately banned from the forum for multiple reasons, the key one was the IP logging but also for slapfighting and thread creation spamming that included one fedpost that was ultimately jannied because he expressed his desire into wanting the assassination of Vladimir Putin.
(Post)
(Screenshot was attached to this post.)
Spoiler: Archives of all of this threads, thank you to @PaperRoads.
How was Alex possibly behind this account? He shared that he wants other users to phonebook their own addresses as well.
(Post)
In conclusion, he made a public video after getting banned from Kiwifarms.
(YouTube Link + PreserveTube)
Lunar Art-clipse Paradox
(One of Alex's drawings. I'm sure that girl is so smart, considering her 6head and all)
In the vein of Chris-Chan, Andrew Dobson, and every single Artcow on the Farms, Alex likes drawing in the Japanese manga style. He's not very good at it, but that's not why it's featured here. It's the subject matter that's more concerning.
You see, Alex has a particular fetish for underaged amputees.
His love of such subject matter directly led to his pink triangle:
As his art leaves a bit to be desired, he's comissioned artists on Pixiv to draw his fetish art for him.
His Pixiv account appears to have been deleted, though it's an open question why he deleted it, or if he even was then one who deleted it. All that being said, the records- chat conversations, comments, ratings, etc.- still exist.
Lunar Eclipse Threads
The OPs: Although at a first glance Lunar may seem like an absolutely worthless poster, and a total waste of bandwidth for this website (much like how his IRL self is a waste of oxygen), Alex actually made a handful of lolcow OPs and Happenings threads that became fairly popular. Despite that, most of the former never left PG due to their subpar quality, and due to their brevity, will be the ones first discussed in this sub-section:
- Dan Sobel thread:
Lunar’s first lolcow OP, made on the 13th of December 2022 and last updated on the 9th of August 2024. The subject of this thread is Dan Sobel, a run-of-the-mill fat pedophile manchild from New York, member of the GoAnimate community. This OP was notably barebones even for the standards of 2022, and one of its aspects that stand out the most are its severe lack of photo and video archives, which, after Sobel’s channel was terminated/deleted, caused some of the videos in it to be lost due to the fact that they were directly embedded to KF instead of locally archived. Alongside with this, the OP suffered from a very disjointed structure and a non-descriptiveness of the individual it tried to cover, so much so that a janny even pointed it out
Despite the advice given to Lunar by numerous posters and its aforementioned 2024 update, the OP barely improved, causing it to never leave PG, much to Lunar’s dissatisfaction, only garnering a total of 3 pages as of writing.
- Ministry of Otaku thread:
Lunar’s second lolcow OP, posted on the 24th of August 2023 and last edited exactly one week after, on the 31st of August of the same year. Ministry of Otaku (henceforth referred to as MoO) is a porn-addicted nigger weeb lolicon, and the archetypical Grift Wars lolcow, similar in many ways to other GW cows such as RGE. This OP, apart from suffering from the same problems as the Sobel OP like the lack of archives and terrible structure, is also marred by a fairly large number of typos, grammatical errors, and overall inadequate sentence structure, something especially egregious for someone like Alex, whose first and only language is English and who has one of his life’s objectives to learn dozens of them.
Spoiler: Collection of fail
To top the lack of self-awareness that comes from a porn-addcited lolicon amputee fetishist making a thread mocking a porn-addicted lolicon weeb, Lunar goes as far a to mock MoO's frequent typos :Story:
Spoiler: Referenced tweet
Due to the aforementioned problems, the OP never left PG, having a total of (as of writing) only 28 posts, with Lunar making 2 requests for it to get moved, which were either ignored or overlooked by the jannies.
- Tailasy thread:
Lunar’s fourth lolcow OP, made on the 7th of June 2024 and last updated on the 6th of July of the same year. The subject of this thread is Tailasy, a Taiwanese pedophile (you are starting to see a pattern with Alex’s thread subjects, aren’t you?), MAP advocate, MLP and Splatoon fan who caused some minor drama in the HRPC (Hitler Rants Parodies Community). The thread on him, once again, has the same problems as Alex’s other threads who stayed on PG: Lack of archives, weird structure, general laziness, as well as in this case a very overuse of screenshots without any text to describe their relevancy to the thread as well as almost no archives to back them up. The thread only managed to get (as of writing) a total of 19 posts. Alex cared so little about this OP that he even fucked up the cow’s name on his Request to Staff post.
Setting them apart from the previously mentioned, Alex had two lolcow OPs which were able to leave PG, and a Happenings thread who (as of writing) has almost managed to garner over 1,000 posts and over 100k views:
-Jack Doherty thread:
Alex’s third lolcow OP, and the first one to get moved out of PG (more specifically to Internet Famous), posted on the 7th of March of 2024 and last updated on the 2nd of June of the same year. This time the thread is about Jack Doherty, a Zoomer e-celeb who engages in your typical zoomer e-celeb things, like speeding, trespassing, assault, intimidation and general antisocial behavior. The original OP seemingly containing little more than just a link to his socials and an intro.
However, as the moths passed (and almost definitely due to the subject’s relevance rather than the OP’s quality) the thread managed to get moved thanks to significant feedback from the jannies
Quickly becoming a regular IF thread after getting moved on the 12th of July 2024 thanks to both the OP’s subject popularity, continued insistence and improvements on Alex’s part as well as interest from other users.
As of writing, the thread has over 200 posts and 11 pages, having been essentially abandoned by Alex since he last edited its OP.
-Johnny Somali thread:
Alex’s last lolcow OP, posted on the 11th of December of 2024 and last edited the next day. Johnny Somali is basically Jack Doherty, but a nigger and gone international, with many of his most famous doings occurring in places like Japan (where he proceeded to fight with the locals and make fun of the atomic bombings that the country suffered from during WW2, being arrested twice and essentially being fined and deported after the second one), Israel (where he put up images of famous Jewish criminals, which caused him to get kicked off Kick) and South Korea (where he was arrested for disrespecting an statue commemorating Korean comfort women among other things). Alex’s OP is fairly much better than the rest of his OPs, being of an average quality for IF and being decently structured, getting moved on the 28th of December thanks to its relevancy at the time.
The thread however didn’t turn out to be as popular as expected, having only a total of 45 posts as of writing.
-Plummeting Birthrates Watch thread:
Lunar’s most popular thread by a wide margin, and ironically one in which he was barely involved in apart from the extremely brief OP. Posted on the 25th of October 2023, during Alex’s white nationalist/holocaust revisionist/”alt-right” phase, it was posted on the Happenings board, mainly to discuss, report, and talk about the current trend of declining birthrates across the entire world and more specifically about the falling tfrs in first world countries. It has 930 posts and over 100k views as of writing.
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