Modern Torture Methods For The Petty Individual

[BradeRunna]

I find this humorous. But I will also find it humorous if it backfires one day and you have to pay for a bunch of food. Let us know if that happens.

Get a bike and ride it in the lanes meant for traffic. You can do that. It really pisses people off.

 

[A Cardboard Box]

Take an empty two liter and fill it about a quarter of the way with piss and shit. The easiest way to do the shit is to use a funnel and either have diarrhea or just shit in the funnel and ram it down with something. Anyway, then you just stuff some rods of dry ice in it and make a dry ice piss and shit bomb.

 

[Prokhor Zakharov]

People say to use burner phones bought with cash. But that trick seems so old school, and I don’t think it works anymore.

It doesn't. No such thing as a true "burner" phone in this day and age. You can buy a phone with cash, but if you want to put credits on it, even if you buy the credits with cash, to setup the account so you can use the credits, you are required to give a valid ID. The only way around it would be if you had a really good fake ID that matched another living person, and that is a an entirely different set of crimes.

Take an empty two liter and fill it about a quarter of the way with piss and shit. The easiest way to do the shit is to use a funnel and either have diarrhea or just shit in the funnel and ram it down with something. Anyway, then you just stuff some rods of dry ice in it and make a dry ice piss and shit bomb.

Use cat or dog, not your own, there is DNA in piss and a whole bunch in shit. People have actually been ID'd when they used their own shit. Science run amok I say.

 

[cybertoaster]

For years, someone has been tossing/spraying soda on my parked vehicle. At first, this was terribly concerning, and with time the amount of fluids developed a jam/gum inside my door making the lock freeze shut all winter. And all summer it builds up these dirty tarballs wherever the syrup dries out. Sometimes, the soda sprayer stops spraying my truck for a month or more, but eventually, they start back up again. It has become one of the constants in my life.

All it costs this asshole is one or two mouthfuls of soda per day... which, if taken in total... must amount to over 100$ of pepsi by now.

There are dashcams that record when parked too now.

 

[Colon capital V]

Swatting streamers is funny and I'm tired of pretending it's not.
Fuck streamers, actual subhuman faggots making cash from doing jackshit, TSD.
[Note to Jannies: this is not an admission that the poster behind this engages with swatting individuals, he does not, in case your autism meter flicks a meter too close to glowposting]

 

[MarvinTheParanoidAndroid]

OP is a piece of shit, good to know.

 

[Cornfed]

This is really confusing to read but I think they never actually get the food.

People who act like this tend to be terrible to low wage workers in person as well. I get he doesn't not get the food delivered, but imagine what an insufferable asshole he is at the drive through, and that is where someone will fuck with your food.
Which is...to answer the question of this thread a very satisfying way of torturing people without them ever knowing.

 

[Autistic Spergout]

I put shopping carts back in in the cart bay incorrect just to annoy the jeets that collect them. For example put it it diagonally so it takes up a lot of room or put the cuck cart in where there is full sized cart and visa versa

 

[Lapsus of the bepsus]

op is unfathomably based and his idea is genius and most of you niggas itt are all seethin on behalf of pajeet uber drivers youve never met. be sure to tip your driver extra next time to counteract his devilish tricks
my favorite doordashing exploit is ordering pizza from a specific place that makes 10/10 pizza (kinda expensive) but is a bit far away, their app consistently underestimates the time to delivery so it marks the delivery as late each time by which point i raise a complaint saying the pizza arrived late and cold and get a 40% discount on it which makes it a god tier fucking bargain.

 

[Cat tit bingo]

Don't fuck with hardworking smos just trying to earn a buck, instead fuck with elites snobs by unplugging every single charging electric car you see.

 

[roblox gay nazi sex club]

so im not the only one that does the uber trick

I don't replace the water jugs at the watercooler when they're empty

go one further, don't replace the toilet roll either

 

[Apochrypha]

I will never understand why people value social hierarchy so much they're willing to go to such petty sociopathic lengths to establish it - and it's always from people you'd expect to be on the bottom rung, who put way too much stock into their own worth. Is it a sign of low IQ?

 

[MarvinTheParanoidAndroid]

op is unfathomably based and his idea is genius and most of you niggas itt are all seethin on behalf of pajeet uber drivers youve never met.

Funnily enough, OP is acting exactly like a pajeet.

 

[Iron Jaguar]

I had an asshole neighbour whose fat Boomer wife would smoke outside my bedroom window in summer, so I couldn't have the window open. I wonder if he ever figured out how all those dog turds ended up in his roof gutters?

 

[Lapsus of the bepsus]

Funnily enough, OP is acting exactly like a pajeet.

pajeets arent smart enough to come up with this scheme. also instead of simply inconveniencing the driver, a pajeet would try to get the driver fired so that his nephews stepbrothers cousins friend (who is somehow also in the country but under the radar and unemployed) can take his job.
i will not have you watering down the very special kind of cancer that pajeets are with your false analogies

 

[Oliver Onions]

A classic is turning up to the bank with a gigantic sack of pennies to be converted into bills. This doesn't really work any more since you've more chance finding the Ark Of The Covenant than an operational bank branch in current year, and unless you're old as fuck they'll probably tell you to go fuck yourself any way.

OP is gonna know all about it when he gets this Uber driver:

 

[neger psykolog]

Spoiler

 

[HansKlokBier]

How old are you? You act like a kid, this is some highschool shit.

 

[Sexy Senior Citizen]

Have you considered the jeetshaker?

 

[Hamsteroid]

I have a very odd sense of humor. I've always wanted to lockpick some person I hate's house, move all their furniture, and leave. Locking the door behind me of course.

Pro tip: Don't move all the furniture, just some and then only a little bit. Make it just enough to confuse muscle memory but not so much that they'll realize it.