Community Munchausen's by Internet (Malingerers, Munchies, Spoonies, etc) - Feigning Illnesses for Attention

[Flourishing Pinecone ❧]

oh Tilly you wonderful idiot.

I'm so confused about this hospital needing to bring in an oxygen concentrator, why isn't there oxygen plumbed into the walls?

Also the rebreathing bag is sort of stupid if they really believe she's in metabolic acidosis with the high lactate - the reason people with metabolic acidosis breath faster is the body trying to breathe off CO2 which will help raise the blood pH (make less acidic).
(Also if you're wondering why you give someone a paper bag to breathe into if they are panicking, it's because if you start hyperventilating with panic you will be inadvertently breathing off too much CO2 and therefore accidentally going into a respiratory alkalosis. However in reality the worst that will happen is you might faint, which will stop your panic, and you'll start breathing normally.)

The plasmapheresis is obviously stupid and again a huge waste of precious blood products.

I have no idea what the fuck the apple juice was all about but yeah Tilly/Kate your piss will be clear if you're chugging 6L of fluid a day, and then look better when you stop doing that.

She will absolutely come up with some new problem, but the book coming out will give her plenty of attention so she might be 'well' for a while.

I also hope it's leprosy next.

 

[Suspicious Activity]

In honour of our (not so beloved exactly) but cherished for their creamy milk and their infinite ability to entertain, I know that some of us feel a loss…of sorts lately after a Chelsea, Rose, and past loss in general. I feel it fitting to provide a little tribute (mostly to ourselves for having to curate all of this, but I like to feel the hymn is apt and sweet to commemorate any losses we may feel. Milky or otherwise.

My little tribute to those we have lost and to those we may be feeling a little MATI at right now. Let’s step back and have a little break….with some pretty music. The Welsh Cradle Song is a veiled piece encompassing life, love and eternal sleep. Enjoy….or not. But I hope you do.

(I posted this for poor Timbit…I feel that our sorrow over loosing a few milky cows deserves a little musical thoughtfulness.

 

[latter day taint 2]

Potential legit uses... hm.....I can see grounding true PTSD victims during episodes, herding autistic kids to prevent elopement or self harm, or maybe even alerting to bipolar mania before something drastic happens.

Spoiler

I used to work with veteran college students so I saw a lot of shit on campus. One thing I did see was how a few of my students had their lives saved by PTSD service dogs.

Professionally trained PTSD service dogs can be very helpful for those who are struggling with flashbacks and nightmares. They can be trained to create space around someone, push a panic alarm, ground someone, lead them out of a crowded space, and even wake them from nightmares. They are an incredible tool if they are properly trained and the handler is properly trained.

 

[Quack_Quack]

Professionally trained

And here are the two words our pack of idiots seem to forget. Professionally trained, not partially trained by some abusive cunt in bumfuck nowhere breeding ugly inbred pups for dope money.

 

[Aunt Carol]

In woo-world, Florida Water is a citrus based cologne, one of the original mass-produced ones, which ended up getting used in American black folk magic for mostly gambling luck. It smells nice, so when grifters started grifting out hoodoo and shit online, the wider woo-world got hold of it. The more you know!

Beat me to it. The woo people are really missing out on the cool vintage label on the hoodoo version of Florida Water.

 

[Jupiter Doughnuts]

Potential legit uses... hm.....I can see grounding true PTSD victims during episodes, herding autistic kids to prevent elopement or self harm, or maybe even alerting to bipolar mania before something drastic happens.

A dog alerting to bipolar mania would be a hilariously useless task - mania tends to spin up over weeks and everybody in the manic person's life is warning them about it. There's no way in hell they'd believe a dog if they didn't believe the fact they were only sleeping 3 hours a night and felt great. If anybody ever tells you they've got a service dog for bipolar disorder, 99% of the time they've got borderline personality disorder.

Interesting thing on legit service dogs - I searched r/blind for threads on guide dogs, and actual blind people seem to be pretty ambivalent about getting one. They agree that they're very useful, but also it's a huge pain to have to organize your life around your dog.

 

[Aunt Carol]

A dog alerting to bipolar mania would be a hilariously useless task - mania tends to spin up over weeks and everybody in the manic person's life is warning them about it.

Maybe they could train the dog to take the phone away from them in a manic episode so they don't post on social media or make impulse purchases. Landline until they spin down.

 

[latter day taint 2]

Beat me to it. The woo people are really missing out on the cool vintage label on the hoodoo version of Florida Water.
View attachment 7051165

It's also super popular among certain communities of perfume nerds. I actually like to add it to my mop water because it smells great. Floral and citrus.

 

[Polychromos]

I know this is irrational, but Tillys feet are honestly second to Roses degeneracy for me. Just why?
But instead of my usual sperging, I tried to be useful and looked into the first two German doctors. I'm sorry that some of this might not be comprehensible. I kind of had to drink the pain away.
Dr. Thomas Scholbach
He used to be a regular pediatrician and the reviews parents left don't sound suspicious. The munchie stuff seems to have been a side-gig until 2023. His current website doesn't mention him working as a pediatrician - just the munchie stuff. He also leans really hard into it. A lot of the pages focus on how somatic symptoms are not necessarily a thing and that there is usually an undiscovered real physical illness responsible for them.
Some years back he had an official talk at a real university, but it seems like he only talked about how the blood flow measuring device he works with works. So none of the quackery.

Dr. Wilhelm Sandmann
I'm pretty sure, that's her first surgeon in Düsseldorf, he specifically works with Dr. Scholbach. Maybe I just didn't look into it enough, but it seems like, he used to be a respected doctor, before he originally retired at 77. He used to be the director of a legitimate state financed university clinic. He has worked at the super sketchy private clinic Tilly was probably operated at since 2020. He tries to link compression syndromes to not just hEDS, but to hypermobility in general. Even though it lists his controversy, his Wikipedia seems very curated. I also want to mention that he is now 82 years old. Maybe I'm ignorant but it's hard for me to imagine, that most people could be a good surgeon at that age.

In 2022 the magazine "Spiegel" published an article how both of them are scammers and work together. It's mentioned in this KFS screenshot:


In December 2024 a local newspaper (and also Spiegel) published another article condemning him for the same things. And they mention, that he is being sued for manslaughter and negligent harm (those are probably not the correct English legal terms). It is claimed that he operated on both of those patients without indication. It is not clear if or when they will start the legal proceedings.

Both of those articles are paywalled and I couldn't find a working archive. One of the authors posted a shortened version on her linked in: https://archive.ph/bERXI

tldr: She talks about several victims, who endured high levels of pain because of the surgeries and also had to have several revisions and a British mother of two who died. Dr. Sandmann was asked to comment and he just questioned why they're focusing on two bad outcomes instead of over 200 great reviews on his website. The author notes, that he didn't even try to provide any actual people they could interview.

This is the sketchy clinics website for compression syndromes: https://archive.ph/HXBP7

The symptoms listed are ridiculous, if you didn't translate the site yourself, they all boil down to anorexia or deconditioning. None of those symptoms will affect your life too bad, but I'm sure unimaginable pain and several revisions are totally worth it, if it means you don't get "bulimia headache", diarrhea or anxiety anymore. Also these symptoms only vaguely match up with Tillys claimed symptoms.



Here he tells you, that if you have these symptoms, you might be misdiagnosed (he provides a list, it doesn't include anorexia, but equally amazing things like burn out and relationship troubles) and if you come visit him, he will be able to provide you with a second opinion if you were "misdiagnosed" before.


Here he claims that people with hypermobility are more likely to have not only one, but several compression syndromes and that most patients are female. He makes it sound, as if this was based on science but he is very careful with his wording.


The clinic posts reviews from the Facebook Group "Dr. Scholbach/Sandmann Guidance and Recommendations" on their instagram, but I can't tell if that's their official Facebook group (the group describtion doesn't state it).

I also wanna mention that there are lots of private doctors and clinics in Germany, that don't take regular insurance, that are completely legitimate. However, the scammers also only ever take private insurance.
I think it's kind of funny, that both of these used to be somewhat respectable doctors and the second they went private, they became scammers. I'd be so interessted in knowing what Tillys Mum paid for all this. Someone on reddit said, the diagnosis alone costs 6000$.

[I also wanna mention that his current workplace defends Dr. Sandmann and he still actively works there. His last workplace is cited on Wikipedia as defending him, but the article they cite, doesn't really support that. The doctor that took his place just says that they are not operating patients without indication and that they are only operating on people that are locals, nothing to do with Sandmann.]

 

[Smellee Cat]

TThis

This makes me miss Ren, and her sellotaped on "IVs".
I wonder what shit she is trying to pull now...

You’ll just need to get into the musician “ren” to fill the void.

 

[Flourishing Pinecone ❧]

The symptoms listed are ridiculous

I know it means something different in German, but it's so funny to me to go to your doctor and say "I have angst, please give me surgery"

 

[Otterly]

her pee is very dilute all the time

Yes drinking a couple of bats of apple juice a day will do that

they said it would be because heavy metal toxicity

Ok, now I’m intrigued. Are these real, actual results? I saw cobalt and gadolinium but is there somewhere she actually lists what was found? Gadolinium toxicity is actually something people are finding is a thing. For some reason some (not all) patients seem to retain nano particles of it in kidney and brain, and it causes an immune response that’s basically fibrosis. Contrast agents are not terribly good for you and they seem to build up. I wonder if one of her German munchies docs shot her up with a wrong dose or aomething? But we’ve got a source for the gadolinium - MRI contrast agent, known mechanism for retaining it.
But did I see tungsten and cobalt as well? Tungsten contrast agent is niche stuff, it’s only used for looking at calcified coronary arteries (please correct me if it’s now widespread.) cobalt based agents exist as well but again I don’t think they’re common.
IF those results, wherever they are, are real, it’ll be contrast agents she’s been objected with.
I also wonder about her mother. I suspect more than a spot of munchie mum on this duo.
She’s such a fun find. The boyfriend appears to be fading into transparency as she goes along.

 

[blue gopher snakes]

if I were to fall very ill on one of these trips Mrs. Shill could not afford to take the time off or commute back and forth to be by my side

@Kate Farms Shill has this all been the elaborate lead-up to your eventual villain arc as King Munchie Grifter?! Truly diabolical.

In all seriousness, I gave money to KiwiFarms simply because it is the only place where I can say the no-no words with total impunity other than the consequences I earn through my own shitposting. Clearly I am terrible with money and a poor judge of character. I’d 100% give money to your poor wife to get her ass out of Florida to be by your side in whatever shithole you were unlucky enough to be trapped in when the piñas finally do their last colada.

Make sure to set up a dead man’s switch with your KF login details so she can post your dirty feet pics to verify herself so we can donate to her GoFundMe.

Professionally trained PTSD service dogs can be very helpful for those who are struggling with flashbacks and nightmares

Snuggles from dogs feel good and medicalizing it is just one more concession to the munchie attention seekers. It’s my uninformed and unprofessional opinion that nearly all “service dogs” and “emotional support animals” be retired and replaced with 6 months’ hard labor beautifying the national parks or something.

 

[Oracular Slug]

It’s my uninformed and unprofessional opinion that nearly all “service dogs” and “emotional support animals” be retired and replaced with 6 months’ hard labor beautifying the national parks or something.

Idk, I'm fine with rubber stamping well-behaved doggos as ESAs so they can stay in a normal hotel room. I'm fine with animals in public in general though, please bring your well behaved pets where I can pet them.
Keyword(s) there being well-behaved.

 

[Polychromos]

I know it means something different in German, but it's so funny to me to go to your doctor and say "I have angst, please give me surgery"

I feel like "I have fear, please give me surgery." is just as ridiculous.
It's really funny that he didn't even specify "Angststörung" (anxiety disorder). It literally just says fear.

 

[SaltyButter]

Dani's fucking custom wheelchair arrived, I almost laughed until I cried. I wonder which unnecessary disability aide she will purchase and pretend was needed next!

 

[The Jewel of the Nile]

I don't know much about wheelchairs, I have only used one for a week when I had my leg in a cast and that's the extent of my knowledge. Can someone more knowledgeable explain what's wrong with Dani's chair? I mean, it looks pretty basic? It doesn't scream "custom job for custom needs" to me. But it's Dani so...

 

[fagnarok]

Late to commenting on the latest Hawk Tuohy installment, but I couldn't let it go ...

This one is so utterly terrifying that I laughed out loud. She looks like she's wearing a Hannibal Lecter-style spit mask to keep from gnawing Ansel Elgort-Lite's jugular out; I think she should wear it all the time, it's such a fantastic accessory that really accentuates her best physical features (the insane eyes and crazed grin).

Her Klaus Kinski-as-Nosferatu-ish hand pose just ices the cake.



And this one is peak Hawk Tuohy for me. The caption makes it seem like a deranged abomination has stolen her skin, which checks out, IMO.



InB4 some poor bastard says "idk, fagnarok, maybe you're just jealous of her long-limbed blonde youthfulness; as a virile man, I just look at her and think 'oo she's purty.'"
For any man that unwary and unaware: may this exact creature appear wearing the Lecter spit mask and sit on your chest as a sleep-paralysis BPDemon, every day for the rest of your life. Because, damn. I've known some legitimately cute blondes and this ain't one. She's stomach-turning levels of scary.

Also, she still looks exactly like a posh Jill Noyes-Rodrigues. That's not a compliment either.

* Sorry for my gay screen caps! Please refer to KFS's most recent Tuohy post for the original, better images.

 

[Kate Farms Shill]

King Munchie Grifter?!

Help help I've been misgendered. Hate crime, TERF erasure.

Mrs. Shill is under explicit instructions to post the most embarrassing photos and stories of me on this forum after I croak so that I may suffer humiliation in death as I did in life.

 

[The Jewel of the Nile]

Mrs. Shill is under explicit instructions to post the most embarrassing photos and stories of me

Better start working on your feet pics collection, the-other-Kate style!