🐷 Ethan Ralph's Twitter / Tweets - A collection of thoughts, insights and musings from the internet's favorite gunted hobbit

[hawkisnight]

Counter point: he’s retarded. All his tech issues are because he’s a retard. You’ve seen him play video games. He’s a retard

You mean that gamer gate legend can't play video games? Say it ain't so.

 

[Oliver Onions]

DSP is a better gamer than Ethan Ralph.

Better grifter, better legal expert, and a better father too (having no kids is automatically better than having two you choose to abandon).

 

[deeman]

The time he started a game of civ 6, accidentally captured an AI settler, tried to attack the AI with his own settler, then lost without ever founding a city (all while never understanding what had happened) is one of the funniest things the sektur ever produced.

I heard about this, is there a video of it somewhere? Please tell me he did a Spoony and hyped it up beforehand (Spoony claimed to be a master at Fallout 2 and we all saw how good THAT went )

 

[LiquidChrisRespecter]

is there a video of it somewhere?

I'm assuming this is the same playthrough.

Wonder if it'll be worse than when Ralph played civ 6

Guntcivfail

Strategic Genius Ethan Oliver Ralph

odysee.com

 

[AltisticRight]

Better grifter, better legal expert, and a better father too (having no kids is automatically better than having two you choose to abandon).

It wasn't just TAX FREE BISH, he utterly raped the taxman.

 

[AncientPhosphur]

Better grifter, better legal expert, and a better father too (having no kids is automatically better than having two you choose to abandon).

Better streamer too. There’s hardly a moment of dead air or silence. Sure what he says might not be the smartest but he’s constant. He’s not silently watching and just sitting there letting Fox News play.

 

[Sam Losco's Wife]

Better streamer too.

Don't forget better husband. DSP has never threatened to kill his wife then forced her to clean up the piss bottles he knocked over.

 

[Die For Me!]

I wish Ralph would play video games more often. There's a lot of games that would be fun to watch him fuck up.

During the sober spring, Ralph promised a NBA2k stream once he figured out how to plug a PlayStation 5 into a power outlet. To this day, the puzzling, alien technology remains buried underneath bags of garbage and hair balls. So while it is hard to accept that Ralph is a mere 1-5 IQ points away from delivering 5 star gameplay, I still feel the need to make a wishlist of gaming streams our supposed gamer gater will sadly never deliver onto us

• Donkey Kong Jungle Beat

Ralph has claimed several times on his show that he's the dirtiest ape in the zoo. If das trooly the case, a game that requires a special bongo drum controller that the player must slam their palms on and make loud, audible claps in order to move around shouldn't be a problem for a man who proudly smells like shit.

• Mother 3

If Ralph plays this game in it's entirety and doesn't once mention his brother, I might die of laughter. If you know, you know.

• Wario Ware: Smooth Moves

Unlike it's previous entries, you have to actually ged up and physically perform actions to complete "micro games" that have about a 5 second window to a.) figure out what you're supposed to do and b.) perform the correct action. It's a game that challenges both your mental and physical capacity, something Ralph struggles with severely in his old age.

• Dragon Quest VII

An RPG game that is known more for its quantity over its quality, it can take a gayduh gamer over 100 hours to complete. Since Ralph is expiring at such a rapid rate, there is zero chance he could finish this game without passing away IRL. I mostly included this as a reminder of how little time Ralph has with us.

• Silent Hill

Everytime I hear stories about Ralphs upbringing, I see that game: Silent Hill. I believe a lot of things would start making sense if Ralph concured that he confused his hometown of Silent Hill with West Memphis. Maybe Ralph was supposed to be a necrophiliac cryptid pig monster that lurks the abandoned town of Silent Hill, instead of a podcaster.

• Persona 5

Can Ralph bury the hatchet with Sektur renowned gay-log Haru Okumura in order to save the world and secure a future for his kids?

At least we can't say we didn't try

 

[Oliver Onions]

I still feel the need to make a wishlist of gaming streams our supposed gamer gater will sadly never deliver onto us

Any of the Souls games would be great, but only under the condition he's not allowed to rage quit until he successfully defeats at least 3 bosses in any game.

 

[Mynameisdark]

Ralph's inability to learn from his errors is why he sucks at games. Ralph's most recent game stream was a Mario game. He was stuck on a tutorial level wandering the edges of the screen for 45 minutes until he gave up in a huff.

 

[Berrakh]

Ralph's inability to learn from his errors is why he sucks at games. Ralph's most recent game stream was a Mario game. He was stuck on a tutorial level wandering the edges of the screen for 45 minutes until he gave up in a huff.

Where does the personal pathology end and the xanax damage begin? Now that would be an interesting debate.

 

[AltisticRight]

Any of the Souls games would be great, but only under the condition he's not allowed to rage quit until he successfully defeats at least 3 bosses in any game.

He had the arduous task of downloading 5 pirated copies of Elden Ring because he's a broke irrelevant piggy just to die repeatedly at the tutorial.

Truly an embarrassment. His "gaming" starts with finding working pirated copies. I hope he gets a ransomware next time.

 

[Oliver Onions]

He had the arduous task of downloading 5 pirated copies of Elden Ring because he's a broke irrelevant piggy just to die repeatedly at the tutorial.

Was this in a bid to compete with Vickers buying PS5s for the ayylawgs or did it take him 5 attempts to find a working pirated copy? Either is funny imo.

 

[AltisticRight]

Was this in a bid to compete with Vickers buying PS5s for the ayylawgs or did it take him 5 attempts to find a working pirated copy? Either is funny imo.

After he was done he flashed his downloads and there were 4 or 5 different pirated copies. He's just that broke. He can't even afford tranny genocide wizard game for Pantsu.

 

[Oliver Onions]

After he was done he flashed his downloads and there were 4 or 5 different pirated copies. He's just that broke.

I found some footage of the event:

Absolute state of the sektur.

 

[LiquidChrisRespecter]

Ralph's short lived gaming career is documented in the Game Gunts thread for anybody interested.

 

[AncientPhosphur]

• Silent Hill

Everytime I hear stories about Ralphs upbringing, I see that game: Silent Hill. I believe a lot of things would start making sense if Ralph concured that he confused his hometown of Silent Hill with West Memphis. Maybe Ralph was supposed to be a necrophiliac cryptid pig monster that lurks the abandoned town of Silent Hill, instead of a podcaster.

Preferably Silent Hill 2. He’s practically Eddie: fat, grotesque, gets laughed at, killed a dog for no reason, wears a Chris Chan esque shirt and hat

 

[Rage Pig]

Piggertits has started to SHOUT into the VOID on X.

FAUX OUTRAGE from the PIG that doesn't give a SHIT about his own children.

MORE FAUX OUTRAGE from PIGGERTITS gets 52 LIKES on his 95k followers account.

POLITICAL SCIENCE EXPERT weighing in on the TRUMP speech.

 

[Cyberpunk Meta]

Piggertits has started to SHOUT into the VOID on X.
View attachment 7058496
FAUX OUTRAGE from the PIG that doesn't give a SHIT about his own children.
View attachment 7058510
MORE FAUX OUTRAGE from PIGGERTITS gets 52 LIKES on his 95k followers account.
View attachment 7058517
POLITICAL SCIENCE EXPERT weighing in on the TRUMP speech.

Never voted for Trump (but he did for Obama), fled America 3 years ago to hide in Mexico, and never worked a job. Perfecto.

 

[Die For Me!]

With no e-daddy in sight to bail him out of single digit engagement, Ralph is now quote tweeting himself on a second account he pays a premium for, then switching back to his main to retweet the retweeted tweet.

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