Stephanie Cianfriglia / Sapphire Crimson Claw / Yarrow Brown / the-ghost-fucker / transmascdruid / anarchoenby77 / darktwistedpussy / Druid of Endicot - Xe/xyr ghost-fucker, womb wizard, hand sanitizer sommelier, trans-boomer, violently abuses her elderly parents, has sexual fantasies about raping children

[Pee Your Pants]

I dunno, you would think Revolutionary soldiers would like a rest, rather than being called up by some fat sped to help keep her SSI.


Aren't you an all knowing druid plantkin? Surely you should know how to date how old a tree is. Also x to doubt that she is 220 pounds. More like 220 inches around her waist.


Surely she must know that you can just buy mead, right? Unless it's rare to find some in the US, I have no idea. I would love to see Staph actually get shitfaced on anything alcoholic. I doubt she's been genuinely drunk in her whole life.

 

[Meowzers]

Surely she must know that you can just buy mead, right? Unless it's rare to find some in the US, I have no idea. I would love to see Staph actually get shitfaced on anything alcoholic. I doubt she's been genuinely drunk in her whole life.

at liquor stores, at least in my neck of the woods, you can usually find one or two brands of mead hiding in the wine section. i'm sure it's not hard to find speciality liquor stores or wineries that sell more of it.
she obviously just wants to drink mead for viking points so i don't think the quality really matters to her. personally i'm meh about mead. not bad but it's too sweet for me, which means staph would probably love it (lol fat). i'm the type of viking to fill up my drinking horn with ale

speaking of of filling up your drinking horn with viking brew, that brought to mind the thought of staph at a ren faire. she could waddle around with her cloak and staff and eat 10 turkey drumsticks in a row and no one would think it's odd. she could even buy a higher quality axe and sword from a real pagan craftsman!

 

[JaneThough]

View attachment 7084063
I dunno, you would think Revolutionary soldiers would like a rest, rather than being called up by some fat sped to help keep her SSI.

View attachment 7084064
Aren't you an all knowing druid plantkin? Surely you should know how to date how old a tree is. Also x to doubt that she is 220 pounds. More like 220 inches around her waist.

View attachment 7084065
Surely she must know that you can just buy mead, right? Unless it's rare to find some in the US, I have no idea. I would love to see Staph actually get shitfaced on anything alcoholic. I doubt she's been genuinely drunk in her whole life.

Staph, the community organizer, has noticed the graves of our great revolutionary soldiers has overgrown and are broken. Choose your Staphventure:

A. Make a point to do some basic pruning and care to start, then learn the skill of grave stone restoration, an act of service to her community

B. Ask who she needs to complain to to get someone to do the thing she could do herself.

 

[BoobWhiskers]

Make a point to do some basic pruning and care to start, then learn the skill of grave stone restoration, an act of service to her community

Jane, no, please don't encourage the retard to go desecrate graves. Stapphy is bad at everything she does and those are historical monuments. Plus she'll start leaving them toenail clippings or something.

 

[Aunt Carol]

Jane, no, please don't encourage the retard to go desecrate graves. Stapphy is bad at everything she does and those are historical monuments.

We had this (brief, aborted) arc before in this thread. Stephanie was watching some TikTok people who used non-approved, harmful cleaning products on historical gravestones. There was controversy, but one side was normal historic cemetery volunteers and the other was hyperactive TikTok influencers, so nobody got all social justice-y.

Easiest thing to do would be to check online for friends of X cemetery groups and join a work party where they give you a rundown and the supplies. A couple of similar groups out here advertise before their regular cleanups, to get stragglers and one-off volunteers.

 

[BoobWhiskers]

Easiest thing to do would be to check online for friends of X cemetery groups and join a work party where they give you a rundown and the supplies. A couple of similar groups out here advertise before their regular cleanups, to get stragglers and one-off volunteers.

You just know she wouldn't though, we'd just be getting posts about how she's furtively performing ~pagan~ rituals and talking to their ghosts and shit. Also we've all seen her crack-addict patches, those are not hands I trust with gentle restoration work.

 

[Aunt Carol]

those are not hands I trust with gentle restoration work.

Any (real, existing, consists of more than one person) volunteer organization would look at Stephanie and put her on rake duty, if not on "holding the bag for the person raking" duty.

Another Watsonian question: why do the dead people care so much about their graves? Is it because that's their only physical legacy now (in which case the plaque restoration concern makes sense) or is it because that's where their bones "live?" Wouldn't someone who died as a Revolutionary soldier (and had that as their one-note personality now...) be urging Stephanie to go do something useful in that vein, not farting around with cleaning a headstone and bringing organic 4Loko for everyone in the cemetery?

 

[JaneThough]

Jane, no, please don't encourage the retard to go desecrate graves. Stapphy is bad at everything she does and those are historical monuments. Plus she'll start leaving them toenail clippings or something.

You’re right, my point was mainly she could be the solution or she could call up some underpaid civil servant to yell at about how dare they not clean graves. What’s more likey, Staph, that people are actively avoiding cleaning the graves of 200+ yr old dead guys or that there is no one to do it because they’re overworked and 200+ yr old graves aren’t priority. Which is where local volunteers come in.

 

[AfghanBlue]

Jane, no, please don't encourage the retard to go desecrate graves. Stapphy is bad at everything she does and those are historical monuments. Plus she'll start leaving them toenail clippings or something.

 

[Womb Wizard Victim]

Jane, no, please don't encourage the retard to go desecrate graves. Stapphy is bad at everything she does and those are historical monuments. Plus she'll start leaving them toenail clippings or something.

Don't worry. Staph doing that would require her to A) do something physical, B) do something for the good of people of people other than her, and C) actually do something. No chance of any of that.

 

[nuno bo2no]

Don't worry. Staph doing that would require her to A) do something physical, B) do something for the good of people of people other than her, and C) actually do something. No chance of any of that.

If the stupid factor exceeds the exertion factor, guaranteed she will do it (don’t do it!)

I bet she would google “what are revolutionary war era gravestones made of ?” then she would google “how do I clean “that substance?””
instead of googling “how do I clean a revolutionary war grave?” and being told “DON’T DO THAT! LEAVE IT TO THE FUCKING PROFESSIONALS!”
Or, she would google it correctly and then decide they don’t know what the fuck they’re talking about.

 

[pink cigarettes]

View attachment 7084063
I dunno, you would think Revolutionary soldiers would like a rest, rather than being called up by some fat sped to help keep her SSI.

View attachment 7084064
Aren't you an all knowing druid plantkin? Surely you should know how to date how old a tree is. Also x to doubt that she is 220 pounds. More like 220 inches around her waist.

View attachment 7084065
Surely she must know that you can just buy mead, right? Unless it's rare to find some in the US, I have no idea. I would love to see Staph actually get shitfaced on anything alcoholic. I doubt she's been genuinely drunk in her whole life.

There are multiple brands of mead at the liquor store by her beloved Wegmans. Or at least, there were when I had to live there for work.

I think you're right, I'm sure Stephanie has never been "shitfaced." But before she goes out and slams 4 tallboys: she doesn't understand that what makes you an adult isn't getting wasted- nobody is impressed by drunkeness. However, being an adult does mean 1. you aren't afraid of absolutely every experience you can't control or fake, and yet, 2. you don't try and impress people by claiming you'd get drunk.

I know it has a lot of moving parts, Stephanie. Try reading it a couple more times.

 

[brooky]

Wouldn't Revolutionary War soldiers be overwhelmingly Christian, and therefore her enemies?

 

[fatcock burgerking]

There are multiple brands of mead at the liquor store by her beloved Wegmans.

There's a meadery about 45 minutes east of her in Coventry. There's a TON of mead production in NY, especially along the FLX wine trails. Out of all the places mead could be a mysterious magic-drink, it AIN'T New York. I get that she's a retard, but why can't retards use search engines?

 

[JaneThough]

There's a meadery about 45 minutes east of her in Coventry. There's a TON of mead production in NY, especially along the FLX wine trails. Out of all the places mead could be a mysterious magic-drink, it AIN'T New York. I get that she's a retard, but why can't retards use search engines?

This bitch lives on the outskirts of one of the cultural epicenters of the world, and has nothing to do all day. But never thinks to like, go to NYC. She’d probably make money doing her Druid stuff in a park in NYC. Union Square comes to mind.

 

[Bunny at Law]

This bitch lives on the outskirts of one of the cultural epicenters of the world, and has nothing to do all day. But never thinks to like, go to NYC. She’d probably make money doing her Druid stuff in a park in NYC. Union Square comes to mind.

new yorkers are second to none when it comes to ignoring smelly weirdos screaming on the street; she’s more likely to get an address for a homeless shelter thrown at her than cash

 

[FuckMeGentlyWithAChainsaw]

buttons on the hat, most notably, a large one front and center of a Viking yelling at a crossed out swastika

Bitch, please.
What religion do you think you're in?
Also

a full, reddish beard

You're lying to blind people, that's fucked up!

 

[DatBepisTho]

Speaking of druid-y shit and it starting to warm up, Staph hasn't said shit about plant magicks lately. She could have ramped up plantgod karma by transplanting native wildflowers/plants into dead and unused spaces instead of growing shit in her apartment that could sicken (or at worst, even kill) her absolutely necessary life-saving cat.

 

[Aunt Carol]

Speaking of druid-y shit and it starting to warm up

...it's time to step up your cat-brushing! Even a short-haired cat will appreciate the help.

"Time to take off your winter coat~~" I say, and brush her until she attacks the brush.

 

[Bitch I eat people]

Damnit Staph, this is ruined by your idiotic potty time song.