Melty Butter
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Aug 15, 2024
My headcanon is that Assistant County Attorney Kari Dehlen called Kayla. And called again. And again. One day, on the 5th try, Kayla forgot to look at the ID on her phone and picked up.
Kari: Hey, oh HEY! Mrs. Rekieta, I finally got you. It's Kari from the Stearns County Attorney's Office.
Kayla: My husband told me not to talk to you.
Kari: Okay, okay. I know this is hard. {Launches into victim-splaining about her rights and compassion for the abuse she's suffered.] But, here's the thing. You're going to need to testify. I need to know if you're going to be okay with that.
Kayla: WHAT?! NO! This was my ass-brained husband's idea. See, he's been doing whippets. Have you heard his voice? Gross. Total faggot. I LOVE showing my body! I got pics getting railed by Jamaicans. Y'wanna see 'em? Do you have Signal?
Kari: [Clears throat] No, thank you. Mrs. Rekieta -
Kayla: - they're REALLY hot, Kari, c'mon!
Kari: NO! Sorry, no. Please, no.... So, Mrs. Rekieta. In Stearns County, Minnesota, we take these matters very seriously. There's no perfect victim. But if you refuse to testify, I must let you know that this will be pled down to a petty misdemeanor. You need to understand that, considering the abuse you've suffered.
Kayla: Oh, sweetheart. No need to lecture. I LOVE ABUSE! We've got whips, chains, and St. Andrew's crosses 'round here, a wide selection of dilldos, Balldos. Wanna come over? We're only an hour away.
Kari: Mrs. Rekieta, I am proceeding with the misdemeanor settlement. Do you understand that?
Kayla: Ya! [in Minnesotian]
Edit: Various spelling etc.
Kari: Hey, oh HEY! Mrs. Rekieta, I finally got you. It's Kari from the Stearns County Attorney's Office.
Kayla: My husband told me not to talk to you.
Kari: Okay, okay. I know this is hard. {Launches into victim-splaining about her rights and compassion for the abuse she's suffered.] But, here's the thing. You're going to need to testify. I need to know if you're going to be okay with that.
Kayla: WHAT?! NO! This was my ass-brained husband's idea. See, he's been doing whippets. Have you heard his voice? Gross. Total faggot. I LOVE showing my body! I got pics getting railed by Jamaicans. Y'wanna see 'em? Do you have Signal?
Kari: [Clears throat] No, thank you. Mrs. Rekieta -
Kayla: - they're REALLY hot, Kari, c'mon!
Kari: NO! Sorry, no. Please, no.... So, Mrs. Rekieta. In Stearns County, Minnesota, we take these matters very seriously. There's no perfect victim. But if you refuse to testify, I must let you know that this will be pled down to a petty misdemeanor. You need to understand that, considering the abuse you've suffered.
Kayla: Oh, sweetheart. No need to lecture. I LOVE ABUSE! We've got whips, chains, and St. Andrew's crosses 'round here, a wide selection of dilldos, Balldos. Wanna come over? We're only an hour away.
Kari: Mrs. Rekieta, I am proceeding with the misdemeanor settlement. Do you understand that?
Kayla: Ya! [in Minnesotian]
Edit: Various spelling etc.
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