DarksydePhil / TheyCallMeDSP / Phil Burnell: General Discussion #2

[neger psykolog]

Just going by the order of how things went, I think Phil's brain turns off more than usual when he's on the spot. You notice how passive he is when he's with PPP, when it's live, he won't rock the boat; you get him in some other scenario, and he's gonna huff and puff and put his foot down. Dollars to donuts, you get him on a livestream with PPP and he'll become more docile/submissive. Also willing to bet he never even considered standing up for his wife until he saw other people talking about it. If history has shown us anything, one of Phil's biggest problems is how vaccuous his brain is when it comes to other people; whether it's friends, non-friends, or his wife. He'll get mad at the trolls saying Kat's fat because the trolls are an ephemeral faceless entity that he can bludgeon; but PPP, he can't stand up to him on the spot, whether it's because Ashton has that much more presence than Phil or because Phil really doesn't get the shit he's allowing. He'll retcon the fuck out of it, but no way in hell would he have even said anything if others didn't bring it up first.

I know the main situation here is sticking up for his wife but you mentioned how he doesn't talk in other situations. There is something in early life that is a potential indicator of autism but doesn't always result in autism but has strong correlation to some of its traits: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Selective_mutism

Most children and adults with selective mutism are hypothesized to have an inherited predisposition to anxiety. They often have inhibited temperaments, which is hypothesized to be the result of over-excitability of the area of the brain called the amygdala.[17] This area receives indications of possible threats and sets off the fight-or-flight response. Behavioral inhibitions, or inhibited temperaments, encompass feelings of emotional distress and social withdrawals.

 

[CopingSneedingDentractor]

I don't like to make predictions since it will make me look like a no load mouthdrooler if I'm wrong and Phil usually does something so fucking dumb you can't see it coming like yesterday, but I think we are very close to the end of this arc. Not sure I'd even call this the KC arc anymore since he hasn't been on their show in like 4 months anyways, but this doesn't seem like it can go on. PPP genuinely seemed to be offering real advice last week and Phil is plainly rejecting it and going back to the same old shit. I think that's why we are seeing PPP be this blatant. I think he is just pushing as hard as possible for Phil to either end it or just embarrass him further tonight.

As for yesterday, he has totally lost it. His mind is fucked and he will never improve or recover. Phil might I present a different option 3?

 

[Need Help With Tips]

Wow, that narc rant was something else. One of DSP's traits I find the most unlikable, he sincerely thinks he's relevant enough to "ruin" anybody or that he can just flip a switch and become super successful, but is just choosing not to (lol)
He sees three paths in front of him and none of them involve finding an actual job.

 

[Factual OST Aficionado]

She's fat. Get it?! SHE'S FAT.

 

[neger psykolog]

As for yesterday, he has totally lost it. His mind is fucked and he will never improve or recover. Phil might I present a different option 3?

This isn't true. He just has to experience actual failure.

The only failure modes he ever experiences are when his accounts actually get suspended or banned - and when he gets an actual failure mode, he freaks the fuck out in ways that are nothing like you're seeing:

https://kiwifarms.st/threads/2018-06-06-dsps-youtube-channel-disappears-because-his-google-plus-account-got-susp-for-spam.44046/post-3434407

https://kiwifarms.st/threads/2018-06-06-dsps-youtube-channel-disappears-because-his-google-plus-account-got-susp-for-spam.44046/post-3433588

The reason he never experiences actual failure modes like these is because whales etc always come up and prop him up with super unrealistic amounts of money - $10 troll tips don't do anything but when people are paying him $5000 a month for some weird fucking reason it means this whole shitshow is actually sustainable. Out of all the people involved in the DSP saga, including DSP himself, khet, "detractors" and hardcore alogs who try to SWAT and attack him: the whales are the single worst group of people because they keep enabling his delusions.

 

[johnkimble123]

To add some credence to #TeamHealth and/or @neger psykolog's Tax theory, there's been a lot of foreshadowing for this mini-arc. Remember, Phil couldn't do the marathon on Tuesday because of personal stuff; on Tuesday, he's noticeably distraught after cancelling them for personal stuff; then, on Wednesday, he said that Tuesday was a bad day for personal reasons.

This "personal reason" has to do with an appointment or scheduled event of some sort. Whatever it is, it's something that he knew about in advance, and depressed him enough to go to his safe space. Stuff like August and even PPP are red herrings: they added fuel to the fire, but ultimately they didn't start it.

The funny thing about taxes would be... after at least 10 years of doing this where you make good money, you really should know what your taxes are going to be by now. Every 1099-K statement went out digitally at the end of January, and Phil has to know what he spent on all his RGBs. It's really not a mystery if you make more you pay more, until that starts to flatten out a bit.

And you're right that no one wants to get to know DSP - he has relied on people asking him stupid shit like "what are you having for dinner tonight?" and probably made $50k just from that question alone over the years. DSP needs to figure out how to branch out and make some excitement beyond his normal ebeggin' routine.

He thinks his podcast is about him and people wanting to hear his opinions. He's so fucking deluded that he thinks that shit is interesting. I mean, he does Q&A every fucking day. Imagine the most interesting person you can think of, and them doing Q&A sessions for 30 minutes 300 days a year. Even they'd run out of fucking things to talk about, and this fuck has no life experiences and does it.

SammyClassicSonicFan had the ultimate redemption arc — completely left Lolcowdom and got a job and girlfriend. People were ready to make him CWC 2.0 and he turned it around completely

It really isn't that hard... there's a common theme around most lolcows, inability to realize that being entirely too online (whether that's streaming, making videos, tweeting too fucking much) attributes to a lot of their lolcow-ness. I know some people say this isn't possible, but if Phil really just left the internet, got a job and stopped tweeting, 1) nobody would care after a few weeks and 2) he'd have his peace & quiet.

Streaming isn't a fucking constitutional right. It's a choice, with side effects, as in you can beg tards for money but you put yourself out there to be laughed at, right or wrong. You don't get to exist in a bubble and anybody who tries to penetrate said bubble is a detractor.

 

[CopingSneedingDentractor]

Listening back to Tevin watching yesterday's nonsense and I forgot to mention his weird rant about one of the options being full leaning into being the king of hate and "LEAVING PILES OF FUCKING BROKEN BODIES BEHIND ME". He clearly had more passion for that but it's also harder than just sitting there and continuing to fall asleep on stream in-between begging for money. Tevin put it perfectly "I just realized this is just some guy yelling his fantasies at us". He even said if he chose that path it would be some of the most entertaining content the internet has ever seen, but it would also ruin lives. Delusions of grandoor in full swing. Phil you are a lolcow who is now streaming to less than 250 viewers daily. You can't do anything but have a fat guy come on your show every week to split your cheeks.

 

[neger psykolog]

It really isn't that hard... there's a common theme around most lolcows, inability to realize that being entirely too online (whether that's streaming, making videos, tweeting too fucking much) attributes to a lot of their lolcow-ness. I know some people say this isn't possible, but if Phil really just left the internet, got a job and stopped tweeting, 1) nobody would care after a few weeks and 2) he'd have his peace & quiet.

Streaming isn't a fucking constitutional right. It's a choice, with side effects, as in you can beg tards for money but you put yourself out there to be laughed at, right or wrong. You don't get to exist in a bubble and anybody who tries to penetrate said bubble is a detractor.

Sadly in this day and age people like SammyClassicSonicFan and DSP would have hardcore alogs who try to phone up the companies they work and shit. But I think that only really happens if they get a public facing job position or still blast about what they're doing on the internet. If they shut the fuck up about it then it would be way harder.

And DSP is a unique case compared to any other similar person because he has made ludicrous amounts of money. At any time in the past few years he could've saved up a slush fund called the "youtube exit fund" with enough money to live off for a year or two (or even 6 months) which would've given him breathing room to go offline for a while and start building a different life. But he didn't.

 

[DerelictOnion]

Listening back to Tevin watching yesterday's nonsense and I forgot to mention his weird rant about one of the options being full leaning into being the king of hate and "LEAVING PILES OF FUCKING BROKEN BODIES BEHIND ME". He clearly had more passion for that but it's also harder than just sitting there and continuing to fall asleep on stream in-between begging for money. Tevin put it perfectly "I just realized this is just some guy yelling his fantasies at us". He even said if he chose that path it would be some of the most entertaining content the internet has ever seen, but it would also ruin lives. Delusions of grandoor in full swing. Phil you are a lolcow who is now streaming to less than 250 viewers daily. You can't do anything but have a fat guy come on your show every week to split your cheeks.

Gotta remember, he could beat the shit out of detractors if he felt like it

 

[Elite Kipchak]

Gotta remember, he could beat the shit out of detractors if he felt like it

hell yeah, show these detractors the real KING of HATE, just like he did to Jaha

 

[Balr0g]

Phil you are a lolcow who is now streaming to less than 250 viewers daily. You can't do anything but have a fat guy come on your show every week to split your cheeks.

Not to mention his channel in genereal is dying faster then I can make this posts

I mean fuck me when was the last time he slipped below 300k views on his main channel without deleting shit?

But then we come to the DSP Paradox. Any other content creator would probably have packed up by now. But Phil gets propped up by a couple of whales week after week. It is basically failing up in a sense

 

[BPD Gunt Rider]

I know some people say this isn't possible, but if Phil really just left the internet, got a job and stopped tweeting, 1) nobody would care after a few weeks and 2) he'd have his peace & quiet.

It isn't for Phil. As we've seen with Wings, there's a small but steadfast contingent that have made Phil their eternal enemy and will always want to destroy him.

One thing I agree with Phil on is that its not as simple as he should just go get a real job. He and his employer will be fucked with, along with being mentally defective and unable to work with anyone.

Not that I empathize with any of these beggar streamers taking advantage of parasocial loners. Play stupid games for your living, too bad if you win stupid prizes.

 

[Rabbi Palpenstein]

Call me autustic turbofaq but remember when Leanna gave him the ultimatum and DSP tried to save da relationship by making a gesture to her, announcing he will spend more time with her? Im getting those vibes...

Oh man, that brings back memories. The whole mini-arc when Leanna bought a FAKE ENGAGEMENT RING to get her friends to shut up about "when is Phil gonna propose to you", Phil learning about it mid stream and coping about it, before deflecting hard and banning anyone talking about it
Punished Panda was such a joy to watch, Phil had literally no answer to it

 

[Very Honest Content]

Detractors keep hoping for the divorce arc because it's the one thing that breaks Phil's foundation as a Mature Adult.

"Give her a pill and leave her on the sidewalk next time," is the peak plot point that a proper sequel to would be even more fun to watch, basically, yeah.

Also had a cat a couple years ago that got bit by something and inside of 20 minutes it went from walking through the flour I was using to make cookie dough to being on the bed having a seizure and dying.

Sounds like pit viper bite, maybe? My condolences on them both passing in distress, to you.

One night last year my 2yo cat literally dropped dead. Woke up and noticed she wasn't responsive, rushed her to the clinic and they said she'd died in her sleep from a heart condition. I was at the vet's the week before and they said she was perfectly fine.

Oh that's terrible, my condolences to you for that one as well certainly.

but remember when Leanna gave him the ultimatum and DSP tried to save da relationship by making a gesture to her, announcing he will spend more time with her? Im getting those vibes...

This is the basis for my theory that on top of the seasonal tax related bullshit that of course applies with tax lout Phil Burnell when April is coming up in the new year, there's an overriding relationship related source of problems, whether health related or just flat out trying to head off exit from the marriage by his wife. I am definitely getting those vibes back too, same pigroach energy again, just older, bigger tits and more grey being dyed on his receding hairline between begs.

How exactly he can reclaim khet's honor I'm not so sure, but maybe he should call PPP fat or something on screen.

He needs to give the fat tranny an ultimatum, treat his wife off screen during streams with respect or he'll go right back at him every time he cracks wise with his effeminate voice at her, then, when Asston crosses the line, and you know he will, you live up to it and call him a fat ugly dipshit who hangs out with a child porn streamer, which is worse than putting on weight. After a few of those back and forths, if you want to use the ancient three strikes and an out rule go for it I guess, fatty will roll his ass into line or Phil will be hosting a wrestling stream on his own, either way, problem will solve.

What is the level of irrelevance Phil will need to realize he's reached with his channel to crawl over to Dan Keem and become the third lolcow on lolcowlive or whatever it's called there?

 

[shekelshoah666]

Not to mention his channel in genereal is dying faster then I can make this posts

View attachment 7087022

I mean fuck me when was the last time he slipped below 300k views on his main channel without deleting shit?

But then we come to the DSP Paradox. Any other content creator would probably have packed up by now. But Phil gets propped up by a couple of whales week after week. It is basically failing up in a sense

"Augusttheduck video didn't go viral! The views aren't good! He's a no load content creator who can't make his own stuff" - DSP yesterday

"wow this McDonalds DSP tries it is doing numbers!!!!!!!! almost 1k views in a day!" - DSP 5 times in the last month

Always funny to see him get so happy about 1k views like the special needs kid in school getting a candy bar.

 

[Dr Pavel I'm CIA]

there's a small but steadfast contingent that have made Phil their eternal enemy and will always want to destroy him.

And again Phil did that to himself by being an asshole in every community he tried to infiltrate. I swear if Jaha did hit Phil back in the parking lot back in CT it would have helped him realise that by talking shit you attract shit.

But what am I saying, Phil is stuck at 15yo mentally antagonizing everything that isn't directly kissing his butt.

 

[Burl McMillan]

Phil said he doesn't want to clap back to PPP with a fat joke because it's low hanging fruit. Plenty of things to razz him back with such as the fact that ASHTON PARKS SHOWED HIS ASSHOLE LIVE ON STREAM and he makes a living streaming with ANDY WARSKI WHO STREAMED CHILD PORN ON 2/28/2019

 

[spacko]

I Dark Side Phil have three ways that I
can continue and I think all three ways
I can be successful okay okay I feel
like if I don't take one of these three
paths I see three roads before me one
goes left one goes right and one goes
right up the middle and I see all three
roads I don't know what the right course
of action is and to be quite Frank with
you I don't actually believe there is a
right choice but allow me to present to
you the three paths based on my
observations recently okay path number
one would be a path that many content
creators changed two course corrected
two over the years course number one is
a simple course but it's a course that
would mean a lot of changes for me just
give up on the fact that I've been this
stubborn [ __ ] for the last 10 to 15
years of my life and career and say I
give up on trying to be different I give
up on trying to do things in a different
way I should just do what's best for
myself and my family and say [ __ ] all
this this Stop Standing on my own
Laurels my own values my own uh loyalty
all my honesty what does it all really
mean anyway oh Phil's a scammer and Phil
took the money that he said was for
taxes and he did it to pay for a
wedding right at the end of the day does
any of it actually matter or does what
matters is that I have the ability to
provide for my family so when I say this
what do I mean I mean immediately I
start reaching out to every major
company that makes games all those PR
managers in between indie game companies
game peripheral companies every single
[ __ ] company and I say hey let's make
a deal send me your game send me your
product send me this and I will shill it
right I will shill everything possible
I'll use your referral code I will play
your game early and I will not break the
street date and I won't say a negative
word about your game I'll kiss its but
I'll do exclusive stream previews for my
audience so they'll see games ahead of
time and I'll get everything early and
I'll do Advanced reviews and sneak peeks
and you can fly me out to events where
you can smooze me in person and fluff me
up so that I can get hype for your game
and say the game is the best game ever
everyone should be excited for it
everyone should buy it and you in turn
will give me money or you will give me
exclusive access to that so that then I
will benefit from it and then it'll be
the you Pat me on the back I Pat you on
the back unspoken rule that we will keep
this in the loop and we'll all just keep
helping each other in a circle and
that's how we all make bank and that's
how we all get by so to find out that
you might get harassed by trolls for
like a week after I promote your product
even if you sell some but then your
social media gets destroyed and harassed
for for an extended period of time
that's not a a a a risk benefit that
they a risk benefit assessment they want
to make you see what I mean so as soon
as any company hears oh man I might get
harassed on social media if you promote
my product they say forget it um
so it sucks I I can't get the same
opportunities to everybody else because
of the trolls ladies and gentlemen any
content creator that you see that is a
gamer or influencer who abides by
everything that I just mentioned has
sold out they don't make content because
they're passionate about it they don't
make content because they care about
what they're putting out they make
content because they want to make money
to make a living to support their family
to make bank to get rich and to
essentially take the bag that's it now
is there anything wrong with that that's
up to you to decide all right that's
path number one that's the path going to
the left I feel okay now there is
another path going to the right and that
path ladies and gentlemen is the path of
drama the path of hate the return of the
old school Classic No Holds Barred no
punches pulled say whatever the [ __ ] I
want do whatever the [ __ ] I want because
I'm the big dog in the yard and no one's
going to [ __ ] with me the Return of the
King of hate Dark Side Phil uh that
makes me
cringe I [ __ ] on everything I make fun
of everything I Raz everything and I
cause drama I talk [ __ ] and everyone
hates me and I hate them back so I'm
constantly arguing with people we've got
arguments we've got fights we've got I'm
going on podcast and I'm [ __ ] tearing
people a new [ __ ] but then they're
tearing me a new [ __ ] and we got
people at each other's throats and I'm
appearing on LCA live and Kino casino
and I'm screaming at the host and
they're screaming back at me and we're
going crazy and there's just drama left
right up and down Dark Side Phil always
causing problems for everyone he just
won't keep his [ __ ] mouth shut cuz he
bothers everyone and he talks [ __ ] about
everyone why can't he just shut the [ __ ]
up ah but it's very entertaining when he
opens his mouth and you always want to
hear the next thing he's gonna say
because you don't know how crazy it's
going to be and you don't know who he's
not afraid to piss off
next I'm ignoring I mean I'll still play
video games sure but this would be
leaning completely and utterly into the
drama internet Blood Sport I'm coming at
all these [ __ ] who've come
after me for the last 10 to 15 years I'm
going to destroy every single [ __ ]
one of them and then when I'm done with
them cuz it won't take long to go
through these [ __ ] schlubs who shhot
on me for so long when I'm done with
every one of those [ __ ] losers and
there's just a pile of broken [ __ ]
bodies at my feet then I'm going after
everyone else no one is [ __ ] safe
from the
[Music]
king I have been incredibly resistant
and I don't I keep telling you guys I
don't want to go down that Vortex I
think that it would be destructive to be
quite Frank I think that would result in
some of the most interesting most
entertaining content the internet has
ever seen and also it would destroy
people's [ __ ] lives okay I'm just
being honest I think it would be
incredibly entertaining and Incredibly
toxic and destructive at the same time I
see people losing their jobs I see
people losing their livelihoods I see
people getting completely destroyed
really
that's that direction if I do that
that's the end of me seriously covering
games every once in a while maybe I'll
pull a game out and play but it's going
to be drama all day all day every day
drama drama drama and by the way I fully
believe truly believe that either of
those paths which are the easy paths
would make me more popular more
financially successful and secure a
future for my family I firmly and
utterly believe that and the third road
is the hardest and the Third Road is the
most challenging and the toughest all
right because the Third Road is the road
that no one travels it's the road don't
sell out but don't become a drama queen
you know person here but the third road
is the road where listen directly to my
viewers and I do my best to take
constructive criticism and change for
the better in the future but I be my own
person I don't become the shill sellout
I don't become the drama queen king of
hate but instead I'm just me I sit here
every day and I hang out with you and we
have honest fun conversations about
gaming about news about other stuff I do
Branch out from time to time and do
different kinds of content but it's not
always my major Focus if new Hot Games
come out we can go back and enjoy them
if a chill Indie game's out we can hang
out and like it but we can also adjust
and pivot on the Fly I'm not going to be
the king of hate or the king of anything
I'm not going to be the shill king where
I make a ton of money but I'm still
going to be and I Lose Myself and I
won't have to change and take the easy
way out like everyone else has all right
but there is a caveat to all of it all
right and here's the caveat here's the
kicker here's the catch here's the trick
here's the thing that so many people
seem to have issue with when I take that
third row all right the road far less
traveled I have to do things differently
and because I'm doing it differently and
I don't have sponsor money and I don't
have drama money I have to ask my
viewers for money beg beg beg beg beg
for money because I'm asking you daily
if you like the third road the road
that's the hardest out of all of them
where I'm not going to get big
corporations backing me and a bunch of
people who like internet blood Sports
throwing their money at me I'm going to
need those who want that different kind
of content to actually come and support
it and I'm going to be asking you every
day and I'm going to be asking
you Jasper
because this is The Road Less Traveled
because this is the one that no one does
right everyone makes bank one way or the
other and everyone wants me to go one
way or the other I keep getting told go
this way or go that way go this way or
go that way what about my way and what's
wrong with my way all right honestly
what's wrong with my way the major
complaint everyone says you just ask too
much well when I ask I receive when I
say Let's Get Hype for an event let's
get hyped for this and that people
actually support it because they like it
if they didn't like it why would they
support it when people say things like
oh your reward is you're going to eat

option 1: evolve my content, be "fake" but make mad money
option 2: evolve my content, truly be myself and make mad money
option 3: do nothing and continue scraping a living e-begging

 

[Coke Zero]

Listening back to Tevin watching yesterday's nonsense and I forgot to mention his weird rant about one of the options being full leaning into being the king of hate and "LEAVING PILES OF FUCKING BROKEN BODIES BEHIND ME". He clearly had more passion for that but it's also harder than just sitting there and continuing to fall asleep on stream in-between begging for money. Tevin put it perfectly "I just realized this is just some guy yelling his fantasies at us". He even said if he chose that path it would be some of the most entertaining content the internet has ever seen, but it would also ruin lives. Delusions of grandoor in full swing. Phil you are a lolcow who is now streaming to less than 250 viewers daily. You can't do anything but have a fat guy come on your show every week to split your cheeks.

Phil tried the king of hate thing just last year, he went after reviewtechusa, cog, ethan ralph, and probably some others I'm leaving off. He was constantly jumping in the kino casino chat- "hey who are we making fun of today?", "he looks like a pile of poop", etc. He was all about trying to make fun of other lolcows, he just really sucked at it. It's completely disingenuous and delusional for him to say he could be a successful drama streamer, when he already tried and failed at it.

Actually same thing with sponsorships. He used to take them and tried to shill anything he could, he just sucked at it so he had to come up with the cope that he's morally above it once he failed at it. He saw other streamers getting opportunities that he wasn't given, so he had to come up with this whole good vs evil thing to soothe his ego for being skipped over by the better streamers. Phil would love to be on stage introducing a new game trailer at e3 or something like that, he was just never picked to do it so he had to come up with the cope that the people who do it are morally reprehensible.

Phil has no unironic entertainment value and he never will. He's not going to suddenly in his mid 40s learn how to be personable or charismatic or funny or anything like that.

 

[neger psykolog]

"Augusttheduck video didn't go viral! The views aren't good! He's a no load content creator who can't make his own stuff" - DSP yesterday

"wow this McDonalds DSP tries it is doing numbers!!!!!!!! almost 1k views in a day!" - DSP 5 times in the last month

Always funny to see him get so happy about 1k views like the special needs kid in school getting a candy bar.

The duck video got 100k more views (350k so far) than DSPs entire channel got in the last 30 days.

That's insane.

DSP has 66,000 fucking videos. That's means each of DSPs videos averaged 3.7 views in the past 30 days.

It must really be reaching the point where hosting DSP video catalog costs more than it is worth for Google (I'm not including livestreams in that).