Tess Holliday / Ryann Maegen Hoven - Beached Landwhale model, Body positive and social justice snacktivist, and gigantic fraud

[Turquoise]

Hustling extra hard ain't gonna cut it, Tess. You're gonna have to seduce Jordan Peterson and take a photo of his custom design jacket on your bedroom floor as proof.

It's the only way back to the big time.

 

[JesusChristSuperstar]

She is blaming her "big juicy ass" for ripping a ligament in her leg, whatever TF that means.

Archived videos:

 

[NoReturn]

She posted this on Tiktok before those two ER videos.

Guys... do you think it's possible she broke herself by kicking a Tesla for clout?

I called this. Not too long ago, myself and a few other farmers. She was going to snap her ankle/knee etc or something and become bedridden for an unknown amount of time. If you thought she gained a significant amount of weight in the last year just you wait.

She is blaming her "big juicy ass" for ripping a ligament in her leg, whatever TF that means.
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Archived videos:

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Owie.

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The fact she expresses concern about "being canceled" for the Balenciaga wallet means she's aware of the controversy, so that's interesting.

 

[Cherry Milk]

Good grief, those comments are as dumb as shit. eLoN iS a pOoPy pAnTs

 

[verymuchawful]

Just thinking out loud. Wouldn't an injury like this that impacts mobility lead to a figurative death spiral for a person this size? Fat person is already too fat to have comparable mobility to a non-fat person. Injures themselves in a way that is surely going to leave them bed-ridden while recovering. They move less and less during this phase. They burn less calories. They get fatter. The atrophy of muscles combined with more weight gain leads to an unrecoverable state.

 

[The Hardest R]

Just thinking out loud. Wouldn't an injury like this that impacts mobility lead to a figurative death spiral for a person this size? Fat person is already too fat to have comparable mobility to a non-fat person. Injures themselves in a way that is surely going to leave them bed-ridden while recovering. They move less and less during this phase. They burn less calories. They get fatter. The atrophy of muscles combined with more weight gain leads to an unrecoverable state.

Yes. It is very much possible to spiral to being bedridden from this. I think this is the thing that will ba-reak her after 2024 nearly ba-roke her.

 

[Chapalapachapa]

papa johns has less grease than homegirl here

 

[NoReturn]

Just thinking out loud. Wouldn't an injury like this that impacts mobility lead to a figurative death spiral for a person this size? Fat person is already too fat to have comparable mobility to a non-fat person. Injures themselves in a way that is surely going to leave them bed-ridden while recovering. They move less and less during this phase. They burn less calories. They get fatter. The atrophy of muscles combined with more weight gain leads to an unrecoverable state.

Yes. It is very much possible to spiral to being bedridden from this. I think this is the thing that will ba-reak her after 2024 nearly ba-roke her.

If you want to get kind of Zen about it, it's not inherently a good thing or a bad thing.
If this were not Tess then there are several good things that could come of this:

• Wake-up moment for Not-Tess to realize how dangerous her fat has gotten.
• Use the decreased mobility to her advantage by putting herself mentally into a place where "Oh no, I can't go to the store as often and get sweet treats. I better ration what I have now." and wean herself down from the sugar addiction gently.
• Take advantage of the changes your body goes through after an injury to change your diet and eat nutritious food (Pro-tip, if you ever have a surgery or injury - doesn't even have to be a major one - eat the most nutrient-dense things you can during recovery because your body is in a state to not just use them for healing, but it will redistribute your existing stores from your fat cells, too.)
• Nice, clean, natural opportunity to shift the type of content she makes from washed-up super waddle "recovery and physical therapy".

 

[DefCon Dumb]

Torn MCL? Ooooooooh, shit. She is fucked. Has she explained in any of her socials what happened? Did she slip and badly twist the leg or fall? I haven’t seen any specific explanation on the Farms.

I wonder if it tore completely or is a partial tear. Is surgery something that would be considered although her weight would clearly make that way more high risk.

Some second hand experience with this in my family and whether it’s total or partial, surgery or not, she’s in for a world of hurt.

It’s a longish, painful recovery process that can lead to a lot of discouragement and depression even if you have lots of support and I’m not sure she has any other than poor little Bowie.

The physio regime for optimal recovery is usually a bitch; the physio sessions and the exercises you’re supposed to do at home.

Getting back on your feet with crutches, walkers… whatever her case calls for, is full of opportunities for falls and re-injuries. Return to pre-injury levels of functioning is not guaranteed and even if she manages that, the risk of mucking up that knee again is high.

Does she have medical insurance? Even if so, can she afford the copays and deductibles?

She’s going to need a lot of support, especially when it comes to groceries, laundry, caring for Bowie, not least of which is getting him to school and back.

Did I mention she’s fucked? I have zero confidence in her using this to change her life for the better.

 

[The Hardest R]

The smart thing to do, which means Tess won’t do it, is leave her ghetto Long Beach apartment behind, go back to Laurel, Mississippi to lose weight and have her family look after Bowie. This will require introspection she’s not capable of. My guess is she will milk this as long as she can and then demand taxpayers subsidize her fabulous disabled lifestyle. Think about all the hot queers she’ll be able to pull on her book tours riding around in a scootypuff! Now that’s taking up space, y’all!

 

[I'mma real anime gurl]

For Halloween she could dress up like Jabba the slut and find a gay man to dress up like Slave Leia. It'll at least entertain people while she's bedridden.

 

[multiverse]

I called this. Not too long ago, myself and a few other farmers. She was going to snap her ankle/knee etc or something and become bedridden for an unknown amount of time. If you thought she gained a significant amount of weight in the last year just you wait.

She is blaming her "big juicy ass" for ripping a ligament in her leg, whatever TF that means.
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Take a moment to pray for the orderlies who had to hoist her fat ass on that gurney and wrassle that stinking ham hock into the largest leg brace known to man.

Archived videos:

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What's in her hospital bag? Why, it's food, food, food, and food! She's easily got four meals worth of calories in "bag snackies". Welcome to your 600 pound journey, Ryann!

Does she have medical insurance? Even if so, can she afford the copays and deductibles?

She probably has the cheapest form of Obamacare possible, the kind that makes sure you don't get in trouble for not having coverage but with sky high deductibles. She's going to be begging Jolene for houseroom in no time flat.

I agree with others who have said this is the sign for her to move back to Laurel. She can't afford LA, and now she's in need of medical aide that none of her TikTok acquaintances are ready or willing to provide. Unfortunately, not many people in her family are willing to deal with Tess. Her dad's side might help her out if she were local, only because they don't know her well.

 

[PatrickButtmanJr.]

JFC if you think she's fat now, just wait until she spends a good few months on bed rest with special little treats to cope with the frustration and depression. We are going to look back on everything before this as Tess' "thin days." In a few years, they could very well have to cut the wall out of her apartment to get her out of there.

This is going to be Tess by the end of this year. Only the most degenerate of fat fetishists will become her paypigs, constantly hitting her up for video of her yeasty folds or her shit-caked ass due to being unable to wash herself.

I feel sorry for Bowie, since he's still too young to care for himself, and Tess will expect him to heavy lifting of being her maid and nurse. Poor kid never stood a chance,

 

[toilet_rainbow]

Guys... do you think it's possible she broke herself by kicking a Tesla for clout?

Interesting. She posted something very similar on Threads around the same time



Also this, although I think this is more slacktivism than anything. The Tesla stuff is far more intriguing

Archived videos:

Christ, that’s a lot of food and makeup for an ER trip that she was very calm about before going in. You’d think that if she tore a ligament that she would be in too much agony to do anything but cry, let alone able to film herself showing off her snacks, tweezers, and AirPods. Yeesh.

She just uploaded a video where she's back home swaddled in a blanket, claiming that she needs bedrest and that Bowie is indeed caring for her. Poor kid.

Spoiler: i'm a great mom y'all

Comment on screen: This is the realist solo parenting TikTok, when you have to pack all the things for your beloved so you can get the help you need. < 3 Glad you're ok!

Tess: Oh my god! Literally this! You know, I'm, my helper right now is my eight year old! He is taking his union 15 minute break in the other room playing Roblox! Um, and yeah! He's been so wonderful, but when you're a single mom, like, you have to just have everything to make sure your kid's good while you're handling stuff! And it's fine, I've been a mom for 19 years now! So you know, it's kind of like second nature for me!

But, when the doctor's like, you need bed rest or you can't walk on it, or you can't drive, it's like, who's taking my kid to school? So that's the, you know, one of the only cons of living so far from my family. But whatever! You know! I will figure it out, as one does! And I will drink my boba tea that's about to be delivered um, from a cutie! And... yeah! Thanks for all the love, guys! I'll be fine! *smooch*

 

[PatrickButtmanJr.]

A CAR PASSED BY ME TODAY! SOMEONE PLEASE HELP MEEEE!
These are the sort of people who Tess surrounds herself with, that alternate between "afraid of their own shadow" and "I AM A STRONG UNBOTHRED QUEEN WHO NEEDS NO MAN!"

 

[Chongqing]

Just thinking out loud. Wouldn't an injury like this that impacts mobility lead to a figurative death spiral for a person this size?

Yes. It is very much possible to spiral to being bedridden from this.

I think what the first user here and I are asking goes beyond that.

Will she die? Is being bedridden a death sentence for someone this size?

Because it seems like she will probably die, not just have a new lazier lifestyle.

 

[PatrickButtmanJr.]

She just uploaded a video where she's back home swaddled in a blanket, claiming that she needs bedrest and that Bowie is indeed caring for her. Poor kid.

Called it. The damn kid is only 8. It's not his job nor within his capabilities to care for a land manatee. Is he going to school, or has Tess continued to lock him in a room with an iPad and called it "homeschooling"? Because he needs to be in school, not scrubbing the crust off of his mother's creases or running several blocks away to the nearest 7-11 because Tess has a hankering for a "sweet treat".

Rylee really lucked out when he was able to get out from under Tess' hoof.

 

[Stardust_Ziggy]

The smart thing to do, which means Tess won’t do it, is leave her ghetto Long Beach apartment behind, go back to Laurel, Mississippi to lose weight and have her family look after Bowie. This will require introspection she’s not capable of. My guess is she will milk this as long as she can and then demand taxpayers subsidize her fabulous disabled lifestyle. Think about all the hot queers she’ll be able to pull on her book tours riding around in a scootypuff! Now that’s taking up space, y’all!

>Lose weight
>Mississippi
Uh…

Seriously though, that probably is the best bet for her and poor Bowie. So she won’t do it. Selfish, delusional cow.

 

[Cheesegirl78]

Called it. The damn kid is only 8. It's not his job nor within his capabilities to care for a land manatee. Is he going to school, or has Tess continued to lock him in a room with an iPad and called it "homeschooling"? Because he needs to be in school, not scrubbing the crust off of his mother's creases or running several blocks away to the nearest 7-11 because Tess has a hankering for a "sweet treat".

Rylee really lucked out when he was able to get out from under Tess' hoof.

If Mess wasn't such an insufferable bitch, she could've made friends with the mothers of Bowies' school friends and offered to pay for gas and hassle if they could pick Bowie up for her, and drop him off after school.

And what 40 year old packs an Uncrustable as her hospital snack? For Bowie, OK. For her?

 

[Umaibae]

Riley, come save your brother. Pick him up and drive or fly him to Mississippi. Hell, get on the TickyTok, spill the beans about Mawmaw, and people would probably throw money at you to do so.

Guess this also confirms Tess is not doing her OF lol. Another failed venture.