Tess Holliday / Ryann Maegen Hoven - Beached Landwhale model, Body positive and social justice snacktivist, and gigantic fraud

How much does Ryann weigh?

  • 300-350lbs (Panda Bear)

    Votes: 26 1.0%
  • 350-400lbs (Bull Caribou)

    Votes: 146 5.5%
  • 400-450lbs (Heart of a Blue Whale)

    Votes: 379 14.2%
  • 450-500lbs (Pigmy Hippo)

    Votes: 545 20.5%
  • 500-550lbs (Domestic Pig)

    Votes: 394 14.8%
  • 550-600lbs (Baby Grand Piano)

    Votes: 318 12.0%
  • 600-650lbs (Vending Machine)

    Votes: 192 7.2%
  • 650+ (A Fucking Planet)

    Votes: 661 24.8%

  • Total voters
    2,661
I watched that My 600 Pound Life video that was linked here a couple pages ago, and it’s pretty damn heartbreaking what those kids have to go through because their parents are so fucked. It also makes me sick how Tess is “Like single mom life! My baby’s taking such good care of me!” No, he shouldn’t have to. Eight year olds should be going to school, hanging out with friends, having some easy chores to learn responsibility. Not having to do all the housework with an iPad as respite because you happily let yourself get to a point where a bad injury is most likely going to lead to you rotting in bed, unable to even get up to take a shit. One of the moms in the video couldn’t even squeeze through the bathroom door, and I’m sure Tess isn’t far behind that now. She is actually robbing Bowie of his childhood, and I don’t think she cares a bit. I don’t think she even cares that he’s probably going to have to attend his mom’s funeral before he turns 13.
Tess don't care - Bowie is just a prop, a bargaining chip against Nick, and a free indentured servant, nothing more.
We already saw this routine with the older son. Barely cared for him, let him eat garbage like her to the point that he ws on his way to becoming a hamplanet like her, and plasterd his face on her socials for asspats and attention. When he got old enough to put his foot down and say, STOP FUCKING USING ME AS A PROP, MOM!, Tess dumped him on some dude they weren't even related to! Tess only let him back into her orbit briefly so Rylee could pose with her and Bowie for the cover a magazine, to let everyone know what an excellent MAWM she was....then back to his "foster dad".

Normally, dumping your kid on some guy you barely know ends of very, very badly, but considering what Bowie is now stuck with, it was actually a vertical move.
 
There’s no way this selfish narc is going to have any incentive to get up and do anything for herself. Like these fatties are addicted to food, they get off on having others wait on them and do everything for them. Learned helplessness and/or power tripping. Addicts gonna addict.

Poor, poor Bowie. I hope someone rescues this kid out of this 600 lb life hellscape.

If Tess wants a live in nursemaid, she can get some feeder fetish freak from OF to move in and do it for her (but only after the kid is safely taken away). I hear that ALR’s recent ex is single. She’s a nurse, or nurse’s aid, or something like that and LOOOOVES big women. Loves them to death.
 
It will be interesting if she loses weight because of the need for surgery. A lot of doctors are requiring people of Tess' girth to take Ozempic or some kind of semiglutide adjacent thing to get them to a size where operating isn't so bad for everyone involved.

My superfat family member back years ago wanted to get knee replacement and did actually lose like 100lbs to get it. In one knee. Then gained it all back plus some and as such had one titanium knee and one crumbling bone-on-bone knee. The waddle was interesting.
 
She just uploaded a video where she's back home swaddled in a blanket, claiming that she needs bedrest and that Bowie is indeed caring for her. Poor kid.
I watched that My 600 Pound Life video that was linked here a couple pages ago, and it’s pretty damn heartbreaking what those kids have to go through because their parents are so fucked. It also makes me sick how Tess is “Like single mom life! My baby’s taking such good care of me!” No, he shouldn’t have to. Eight year olds should be going to school, hanging out with friends, having some easy chores to learn responsibility.
No one has to give me hats. I have my own.
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This fucking bitch. There aren't even any pro-Bowie comments (that I can find) on that TikTok either.

It's amusing how both Tess and Glitternlazers have entered their immobility era at the same time.
Blood moon got 'em
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Young children should never be expected/forced to be caretakers, it can cause deleterious effects on their mental health in both the short and long term.


My 120lb mom slipped on the ice six weeks ago and ended up with a distal femur fracture, which was surgically repaired with a bunch of titanium hardware. She's generally taking care of herself and cooking dinner for herself and her husband every night, but I'm still over there at least every other day to help her with little tasks, doing her shopping, and taking her to appointments. I love my mom and helping her is the least I can do...but man, I can't wait until I'm no longer on call.

I can't imagine being the sole caregiver for a bedbound parent at EIGHT. As much as I think kids are coddled these days and are capable of much more than their parents think, this ain't it.

Find a way to hire some help, Tess. You've already got some weird covert incest vibes going on with Bowie, don't make it worse.
 
It's a meme video. CWC was convinced to do his own version. We don't have any proof Tess was cake farting for her Johns, but it's funny to imagine she was doing just that.

She did also buy that cake that said "FAT" or the like on it, probably to eat in front of a client.

IIRC, the cake farting jokes really ramped up after Tess started going to the Madonna Inn every other week to eat cake during the pandemic, leading to rumors of a Cakejohn that was paying for the visits and cake in exchange for sex acts. The joke that it was to fart on a cake went from there between that and the FAT cake.

This fucking bitch. There aren't even any pro-Bowie comments (that I can find) on that TikTok either.

I wanted to smack her smiling face from the first second, but her joking that Bowie was on his union mandated 15 minutes pissed me off even more. This isn't letting the kid play games and bake nuggets for himself while Mom's sick for a day. She's going to make this kid do everything for her like the average My 600 Pound Life patient. I agree with whoever said that she's enjoying this right now. What a cunt. #FreeBowie

EDIT:

FUCK.

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THIS.

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BITCH.

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Find a way to hire some help, Tess. You've already got some weird covert incest vibes going on with Bowie, don't make it worse.
It's called "Covert Incest" or "Emotional Incest" and while we don't know what happens in the home, I actually do agree with you given the warning signs we see publicly.

e.g.
  • Rather than mirroring the child, the parent uses the child to mirror themselves.
  • Being emotionally dependent on the child: The parent burdens the child with the weight of their stressors and depends on them for emotional support and security.
  • Oversharing with the child: The parent confides in the child about adult matters, which can be overwhelming for them.
  • Being over-involved in the child’s life: The parent wants to know everything about the child’s life and doesn’t respect their personal space or boundaries.
  • Monopolizing the child’s life: The parent expects the child to restrict their friendships and activities to meet the parent’s emotional needs.
  • The child feels like they have to care for the parent’s emotional needs, sometimes at the expense of their relationship with the other parent and/or siblings.
  • The child seems overly mature for their age due to parentification, where the parent treats the child as their parent instead of the other way around.
  • The parent panics or seems jealous when the child has a romantic partner or close friendship that doesn't involve the parent.
There is some controversy over the use of the term "incest" for these relationships, but what we do know is that the effects on the children affected are similar to those of overt incest in adulthood (including issues of addiction and damage to one's ability to build healthy emotional and sexual relationships).
 
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Young children should never be expected/forced to be caretakers, it can cause deleterious effects on their mental health in both the short and long term.


My 120lb mom slipped on the ice six weeks ago and ended up with a distal femur fracture, which was surgically repaired with a bunch of titanium hardware. She's generally taking care of herself and cooking dinner for herself and her husband every night, but I'm still over there at least every other day to help her with little tasks, doing her shopping, and taking her to appointments. I love my mom and helping her is the least I can do...but man, I can't wait until I'm no longer on call.

I can't imagine being the sole caregiver for a bedbound parent at EIGHT. As much as I think kids are coddled these days and are capable of much more than their parents think, this ain't it.

Find a way to hire some help, Tess. You've already got some weird covert incest vibes going on with Bowie, don't make it worse.
Being a caregiver-- especially to a family member-- absolutely affects you mentally, emotionally, and even physically at times.

It is cruel to expect a child to do that.

Also ... Called it: I said this bitch was on her way to becoming bedbound at some point in this thread, and all it would take is a knee injury to do it.
 
IIRC, the cake farting jokes really ramped up after Tess started going to the Madonna Inn every other week to eat cake during the pandemic, leading to rumors of a Cakejohn that was paying for the visits and cake in exchange for sex acts. The joke that it was to fart on a cake went from there between that and the FAT cake.



I wanted to smack that smile on her face from the first second, but her joking that Bowie was on his union mandated 15 minutes pissed me off even more. This isn't letting the kid play games and bake nuggets for themselves while Mom's sick for a day, she's going to make this kid do everything for her like the average My 600 Pound Life patient. I agree with whoever said that she's enjoying this right now. What a cunt. #FreeBowie

EDIT:

FUCK.

View attachment 7103004

THIS.

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BITCH.

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Jesus christ, bitch YOU SAID YOURSELF YOUR KNEE IS FUCKED BECAUSE YOU'RE A FAT ASS!

Sorry guys... I just can't. The audacity of this idiot makes my blood boil! Yes RYANN, YOUR MORBID OBESITY IS THE REASON FOR YOUR HARDSHIPS!

Tophat me, I deserve it.... *sigh*

Edit. Ninja'd by @Chongqing
 
I didn't even consider the possibility that she hasn't had surgery yet. I thought that's what the bedrest was for. Ligaments of the knee, like the MCL, ACL, and Meniscus, simply don't heal on their own.
Ok good question for any local medkiwis - Google AI says that MCL tears under grade 3 and without separation from the bone might heal with RICE and physio therapy (in a normal human), but if it's above that it needs surgery.

Would surgery happen immediately, regardless of Tess' size or would a doctor put this off to make her more fit for anesthesia? I guess I'm wondering if it's considered emergency surgery or if there's a chance the anaesthesiologist will nope out like they did for Juliana Aprileo's tiddy chop.
 
Ok good question for any local medkiwis - Google AI says that MCL tears under grade 3 and without separation from the bone might heal with RICE and physio therapy (in a normal human), but if it's above that it needs surgery.

Just curious, the leg looks pretty heavily wrapped/braced in her hospital picture. Would they do that if it was something as minor as something that could be resolved with RICE? I have no idea though, I could be wrong. Would like to hear other thoughts.
 
Just curious, the leg looks pretty heavily wrapped/braced in her hospital picture. Would they do that if it was something as minor as something that could be resolved with RICE? I have no idea though, I could be wrong. Would like to hear other thoughts.
From what people are saying in the comments here, this is much worse than your standard rice situation, she may need to have surgery and physical therapy, this is a major life changing event, not just an inconvenience.
 
5 people in my family had the same injury. The 3 who needed the surgery/rehab/physio route all had braces just as large.

Surgery or not, recovery from this is… unpleasant and at her size… shudder.

It’s hard to motivate yourself to do your at home exercises when you know it’s going to hurt. Tess has to, (as eventually specified by physio), move an injured leg that may weigh as much as I do!

Just the bed rest part… think, (or try), shifting in your bed without involving 1 or both legs. And she’ll be trying to move all that weight without being able to turn.

The weight factor in moving around is 1 reason she’ll be at a risk for bedsores and blood clots.
 
Guys. It's not complicated. She's going to pivot to "disability influencer" "advocate" "activist" content if she doesn't miraculously recover perfectly as all our cows seem to do.
I know that in a rational world, ectopic pregnancies and CVIs and marriage to Hila Klein shouldn't be considered trivial or 100% survivable, but we are not in a rational world. We're on a scoreboard whose leader is Nick Rekieta. Tess is going to "keep islamic and cockroach on" as the deathfats say (I assume that's what they say).
So pause on those stories of tragic NFL-career-ending kneesplosions because our very observance of Tess's medical journey has changed the outcome thereof to one in which her MCL heals completely.

Jabba the slut
it's perfect
 
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