🐷 Ethan Ralph's Twitter / Tweets - A collection of thoughts, insights and musings from the internet's favorite gunted hobbit

[BigPeanut]

Is Ralph now admitting he fell off again and was still drunk? (x/a)
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Are you retarded?

 

[3MMA]

The Ralphamale wants

The Ralphamale wants
The Ralphamale needs
The Ralphamale rages
The Ralphamale speaks
The Ralphamale hungers
The Ralphamale repeats
The Ralphamale wants.

 

[Rage Pig]

He's in a perpetual state of seething anger, replaying his feuds with his enemies over and over and over. What a miserable cunt. He also begged Bigtech to let him on his show, most likely because he hates doing his own shitty podcast for 10 hours to earn a few pesos. He wants to go back to 2018, which is understandable considering how much better his life was 7 years ago. Sorry Piggertits, there's no going back!

 

[Bixnood]

I fear this old dog has lost the fight in him, the old Ralph would just drink and go on stream shirt off and hollaring, he is (was) the ralphamale and he can do whatever he wants, no on gets to push him arround, the new modern ralph just doesn't have it in him no more. his "fans" told him to stay sober so now he will never drink again, Sad, Pathetic.

 

[LiquidChrisRespecter]

He can't have kids

How do you know? Being selective about where you deposit your children doesn't make one infertile.

Why are you spending your "sobriety" (lmao) cockwatching?

Extremely womanly behaviour.

 

[Webby fuckin leave dude]

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archive

sober as a judge

 

[O Puffers Where Art Thou?]

I fear this old dog has lost the fight in him, the old Ralph would just drink and go on stream shirt off and hollaring, he is (was) the ralphamale and he can do whatever he wants, no on gets to push him arround, the new modern ralph just doesn't have it in him no more. his "fans" told him to stay sober so now he will never drink again, Sad, Pathetic.

I don't envy Ralph's current predicament. We only have so much information but he's clearly doing a better job of getting healthy than he used to. It's crippled his professional life though. He badly needs to set aside a couple months a year for pillstreams but that would be hazardous for obvious reasons.

 

[FiveStarAce]

Imagine consuming drugs to stop you from consuming drugs. It's the miracle of modern medicine!

 

[Lidl Drip]

The Ralphamale wants attention and for a rare occasion he had Null's reply to one of his one sided beef:

Get some new material, Ralph. You posted all this before at least a dozen times. Well, probably hard to find something embarrassing on someone whose life isn't a total trainwreck ravaged by vices and baby momma drama. Gotta project those mommy issues for the 10th time. The Ralphamálé just hasn't been the same since his mother, who washed his underwear and babied him for his entire adult life died and he has been unsuccessful in replacing her. Now he just shits his pants and sobs in the arms of underpaid sex trafficking victims.

 

[AltisticRight]

Multi-decade drug habits don't die easily, especially when you've been taking exponentially more than prescribed for years on end.

HARRROOOOOOO YER LYIN WHOREE I DIDT JUST DO 20MG OF XANNIES AS A MADDAH OF FACT I DID 20MG XANNIES SINCE I WAZ 12 BISH
BUT I WAS TOTES LEGIT ABLE TO QUICK MIXING XANNIES WITH BOOZE AFTER 2 WEEKS VAYCAY BISH
AND I FUCKED MY BABY MAMA'S MAMA

psilocybin

Piggytits is already a connoisseur of truffles. The black truffles scooped out of a teenager's starfish.

Still drunk then Ralph?

The vet needs to do a hair follicle test to see if there is Alprazolam.

 

[REGENDarySumanai]

Get some new material, Ralph. You posted all this before at least a dozen times. Well, probably hard to find something embarrassing on someone whose life isn't a total trainwreck ravaged by vices and baby momma drama. Gotta project those mommy issues for the 10th time. The Ralphamálé just hasn't been the same since his mother, who washed his underwear and babied him for his entire adult life died and he has been unsuccessful in replacing her. Now he just shits his pants and sobs in the arms of underpaid sex trafficking victims.

He's a deeply broken buck. It didn't take long for Ronnie to slip two fingers in.

 

[Mahavitchnu Orchestra]

Lot of ebidanse of womanly behavior, Ethyl. I suggest you take cheap Mexican pills and gunt about it.

 

[Oliver Onions]

Except when he's whimpering after reading mean messages on Kiwi Farms in Faith Vickers' lap.

I swear there were a couple times he nearly cried when Metokur came on the Killstream to buck break him. It was a lot like Revenge Of The Sith but if Obi Wan did nothing while Anakin threw himself into the lava.

sober as a judge

If it's the district judge in Russel Greer's case, I agree completely.

 

[UCantCCPMe]

A true and honest Ralphahollar will always contain 6 main elements; think of them as the podunk, white trash infinity stones in a wrassle wrassle wiggerfied infinity gauntlet. The first two are coping and seething. No hollaring is complete without session of coping over all his Ls and seething at his enemies. Along with that comes projection. Ralph doesn't just project his attitude and intention, but his insecurities as well. So you can be sure, as a matter of fact, it's probably YEW that is a hog looking, little dick deadbeat dad that got beat up in Portugal twice buddy.

Number 3 would be spin. You can expect the Ralphamale to twist the facts on any given subject about him. Okay, don't you kiwifags understand? He didn't make his mother walk to dialysis, he gave her the opportunity to walk to dialysis. Number 4 is threats. Despite Ralph having the physique of an old toad and the fighting ability of a blind retard, Ralph will insist that he is capable and willing to commit all manner of violent crime, up to and including murder.

Number 5 is bating. Ralph is constantly trying to bait Josh, Jim, Andy, Cog, ect. into coming on his show to argue with him so he can gain a sliver of interest and clout, which he hopes will lead to donos. Unfortunately for Ralph, Cog is a rat eating cuck with a poo wife, and still boring, Jim is busy shilling hats on his deathbed and PPP has Andy properly wrangled. We can only hope that Null won't do this fat retard any more favors.

Finally, number 6, the most crucial element: impotent bragging. Whether Ralph is bragging about meager plates or mediocre pussy, he always finds a way to broadcast exactly how trailer park his standards really are. This is a man that would think Banquet meals from the dollar store are fine dining. Look, Kiwifarms, look at my chicken salad sandwich on a paper plate. You never eat this good. Along with his bragging comes the only form of exercising Ralph gets; mainly running his mouth, stretching the truth and jumping to conclusions. The tales that Ralph weaves would put 17th century sea captains to shame.

 

[Dixieland Buckaroo]

A true and honest Ralphahollar will always contain 6 main elements; think of them as the podunk, white trash infinity stones in a wrassle wrassle wiggerfied infinity gauntlet.

Expert analysis, just one note:

Number 5 is bating.

Sometimes bating will take the form of pity bating (or even suicide bating), especially if he's trying to hollar at a woman. He's been trying that with the dad-fucker recently, to no effect. This inevitably leads to the cycle starting anew.

 

[FiveStarAce]

Damn i almost forgot that ralph was beaten up TWICE in Portugal!

 

[Mahavitchnu Orchestra]

A true and honest Ralphahollar will always contain 6 main elements; think of them as the podunk, white trash infinity stones in a wrassle wrassle wiggerfied infinity gauntlet.

Lolcows like himself and Cyraxx have been taught to sell themselves by a lifetime of professional wrestling. They themselves do not perceive of these elements--they just embody them, without understanding them (brilliant post btw.) It's reflexive.

Gunt may have a thumbnail understanding of this, fancying himself a reader and STUDEND UF DA GAYME, but his lack of understanding in all other aspects of life is what brings him to the table, so to speak. That's what brings him to the point that he feels he has to loudly bloviate in the manner of which you speak--life fuckups that he could have prevented, but can't control after the fact.

In that Southern, gunted xannybrain, life is booked like a pro wrestling show. He expects everyone to forget, the way him and his fellow cumbrained hillbilly idiots would forget that Macho Man was Hulk Hogan's friend a month ago.

Drunk, gunted, and stupid is no way to go through life, son.

 

[niggercattle]

Being selective about where you deposit your children

You can only be selective when you actually have options to choose from.

 

[porkWellington]

4 hours in, 277 viewers, $162, can't wait for that $88 dono to come in

An hour and a half later, no donos, still $162/$250 lmfao

Now he's coping about the cooking stream because a viewer asked: "look I have to kitchen setup but can't do it now, oh actually I need gas because in Mexico, oh actually I could just go to a food truck and have them cook something for me" Jesus all that to say "I'm not ready"



@Spectre_06 That's a fucking take if I ever heard one

 

[Trigger Me Timbers]

Here's what I think Ralph actually did during this "rehab" arc:

• One of his long-time hangers on paid Ralph to go to rehab.
• Ralph takes the 2k (or whatever), goes in to a pharmacy (maybe a doctor) and gets a script for some, maybe several, things to help him not drink or do pills
• Ralph runs off with the rest of money and takes a 2 week siesta, getting shittered off-stream. Locals will speak of these shittered Ralph rampage for ages (La leyenda del cerdo borracho)
• Ralph comes back after 2 weeks, declares himself clean
• At first, keeps the drinking and pills off camera
• Uses the pills a bit to drink less, starts learning the hard way about what happens when he drinks with Antabuse (or whatever else)
• Starts mixing and matching, trying to take more pills to drink less
• The cracks start show as Ralph lacks any support, starts raging in voicemails, IRL streams, getting tossed out of restaurants. (I really wish Juju would drop the voicemails)
• We are here now
• It's going to get worse

Edit: some grammar

I just wanna plus +2 this kino schizo theory with three things I’ve personally noticed and mentioned before.

1) this time when he got “sober“ he’s not acting the same way as he normally does. Ralph has gotten sober before, but after his usual “getting sober”, he acts very differently. He normally acts quite meek and he’s not as easy to get into a rage and tries to be amicable with people. however, this time, almost the same day he got out of rehab. He was already rage pigging at people over Twitter.

2) As soon as he was out of rehab he was already like pseudo dating/seeing someone. People assume this was like a fucking junkie from the rehab, but I don’t know if they put men and women in the same rehab facilities together for inpatient treatment. It’s more likely that he was going to like some bars or hotels whatever and just meeting women that way.

3) Him making that weird slideshow that he told people that it was done by his lawyer. Again, I’m pretty sure he just did that when he was bored before he came back and had to make up the lawyer line because otherwise his “work” would fall apart.


The only part of the story doesn’t make me believe this is the fact that he managed to stay off Twitter and Kiwi farms for 2/3 weeks. That seems like the most impossible thing for Ralph to do.