Tess Holliday / Ryann Maegen Hoven - Beached Landwhale model, Body positive and social justice snacktivist, and gigantic fraud

How much does Ryann weigh?

  • 300-350lbs (Panda Bear)

    Votes: 26 1.0%
  • 350-400lbs (Bull Caribou)

    Votes: 146 5.5%
  • 400-450lbs (Heart of a Blue Whale)

    Votes: 379 14.2%
  • 450-500lbs (Pigmy Hippo)

    Votes: 545 20.5%
  • 500-550lbs (Domestic Pig)

    Votes: 394 14.8%
  • 550-600lbs (Baby Grand Piano)

    Votes: 318 12.0%
  • 600-650lbs (Vending Machine)

    Votes: 192 7.2%
  • 650+ (A Fucking Planet)

    Votes: 661 24.8%

  • Total voters
    2,661
Man, that was a n unnecessarily shitty UC experience.

My province of Ontario in Leafland relies more and more on urgent care to bridge the gap between primary care and emerg using the same criteria: too much to take care of at home but not the life or death or really, really sick reasons to go to emergency.

Something else our province is doing which I like and would like better if some pharmacy chains weren’t screwing over their pharmacists.

Years ago, our pharmacists were authorized to give flu, then CoVD shots after a quick course on stabbing people with sharp needles. That took some of the load off our primary physicians.

Now pharmacists can diagnose and prescribe for about 30 things including UTIs, ear infections and other simple stuff. That’s taking a big load off an even more stretched medical system.

Had an ear infection in the fall. My local pharmacist, when I z told him, entered a code into my phone which brought up a questionnaire. The right answers on that generated a quick exam and an Rx. The whole thing took 45 minutes and 10 of those were spent waiting for him to be free.

I have no primary practitioner and the urgent care clinic I use opens at 0700 but is booked solid for the day by 0710. I would have been a good 10+ hours waiting in ER.

Our system is badly broken and not getting better. CoVD caused a lot of early retirements among doctors and nurse practitioners and we haven’t been able to replace them. The private providers we have left are buried in paperwork, on top of huge patient loads.
 
Just keep calling me beautiful while my body breaks down faster than a 2003 Cavalier.
Hey, that's an unfair comparison.

Properly cared for, a 2003 Cavalier has fantastic staying power and can be a perfectly good vehicle. It's easily more reliable than Messy Tessy's joints.
 
Tess mad at filter

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This is what she's referencing

 
Oh geez, that's tough.
I had a partially torn MCL (and a dislocated patella) - result of an exceptionally bad fall. For a whole month I couldn't muster any more than a zombie-like gait (and I needed a walker even for that), and then it took a few more weeks before my knee felt stable again. But still, I recovered. I don't like her chances though.

Interesting how it didn't hurt much, at least not initially - I thought I just sprained my knee, and managed to shuffle my way home. The gravity of the situation didn't sink in until next day, when any attempt at moving my leg caused horrible pain. I guess adrenaline does things like that.
 
Feels out for all my fellow leg-injury kiwis. Healing is a bitch, but thankfully we didn't have to do it at Tess sizes!

The proper amounts of rest and gentle movement are critical, but of course Messy Tessy won't do anything like that. It's either nothing or her full 500lbs on the injured leg. I don't even think she'll be able to elevate it properly with all the belly fat. Too bad she can't afford home health aides to come in and take care of her. That would get pressure off Bowie.
 
She says she fell. As you can imagine, it doesn’t take a really hard fall, ending up with smashing your knee and twisting her leg when you’re Tess’s size. It might have been more of a stumble with a twist thrown in just as the ligament was being used to the max. If she truly fell, how did she get back up again… on her own? I can’t see it.

I’m sure she’s genuinely injured and on a regime of bed rest and very gentle mobilization but she’s too ponderous to allow for gentle movements.

And her attitude is a bit sus. She’s too smug, smirky and superficial for an injury with that high a potential to fuck get up long term. Either she’s not too damaged, (brace argues against that), or she’s not absorbed what the doctors told her or they didn’t make it clear.

Whatever; she’s put herself in a hole. She can’t complain about how hard everything is because “Fuck Your Fat Standards”. She may endlessly bitch about how super fats are treated but in the meantime, her body is probably telling her in no uncertain terms that whatever her delusions, all the excess weight is going to make this much harder for her.
 
Not to distract from Tess's injury and all the thrilling urgent care talk, but here's an archive of the full 11 mins of her TED Talk. Previously only the first three and a half minutes had been posted in the thread. The video is currently unlisted on youtube, and was uploaded a month ago.




Highlight at around 6:18 where she expected people to laugh, but no one did, so she says she "I know people are laughing because it was funny, right?" to almost no reaction. Oof.
 
It's finally here! Time to cringe.

Edit: I managed to watch her whole talk. I'm gonna regurgitate some points that kiwis have already made based of the previous clip.
  • Right off the bat, you can hear her breathing hard and it continues throughout the whole talk. Girl, you're just standing and pacing a little bit while talking, not running a marathon.
  • Her makeup looks terrible under the lights. The highlighter is way too much and makes her look extra greasy, I mean, dewy. Plus, compared to her neck, it's a couple of shades lighter.
  • We know her dress and shoes are extremely unflattering. I just noticed her belly button hangs on her pubic region.
  • She keeps looking down to the teleprompter and fumbles a lot of words. She chalks it up to being nervous. You should be used to this. You've been on national TV.
  • If you follow Jude Valentín, you know about her whole "taking up space IRL", the whole talk was basically just that.
  • She mentions her UN speech . She also mentions on how she has worked with these big brands about inclusivity, mentions H & M and Pinterest.
  • At some point she goes: "when was the last time you've judged someone? Because of their clothes, education? Was it me when you were watching my talk this evening?" I'm paraphrasing here, but yes, that's exactly what I was doing this evening, you land manatee :story:
  • She shows a picture of the last time she looked normal, when she was a little girl. She also shows some covers of magazines she's been in, including that terrible cover where her fuchsia dress was cut to make her fit, and the one with Bowie and Rylee.
It was a very boring talk. She had a script and she followed it, that's it. It was all very unnatural. The applauses and some cheers she got were definitely out of pity whenever she started to tear up because "I'm so nervous and so grateful for being here y'all!".
 
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Couldn't even speak coherently for 3 minutes without losing her train of thought, begging the audience for applause... Claiming nervousness

Paraphrasing:

"Beauty around me was something that is that is something I designed around me in the mirror" ... English?

"Society taught us that in order to fit in, we must shrink ourselfs"

"I went into beauty pageants like every girl at age 6 (🙄) and they all had talents like gymnastics and I was the only one who couldn't do anything BC I was fat"

...

"That little girl on that stage is the reason IM standing on this stage today 😭 because belonging isn't something society decides for us! We can decide that for ourselves"


Tldr: I'm fat and it's everyone's fault but mine, let's go cry about it before I start spouting mushrooms left right and center out of my rolls.
 
And her attitude is a bit sus.
Tess is a big fat liar and her whole thing is that she can do all the things skinny bitches can do even though she’s likely well past four bills. Now she’s dealing with something that is entirely due to being fat at her age. So what’s she going to do, admit that being fat has caused this injury? She’s going to lie, pretend, and lie some more that it’s totally not a big deal. Except when she was clearly high and talking about how it’s because of phat ass 🍑🍑🍑
And why does she squeeze her tits twice at 10:54?
She pulled that shit too at her last runway. She really thinks she’s a hot piece of ass and resorts to what she knows best, especially when it’s inappropriate to do so.
 
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