- Joined
- Jun 25, 2013
Fair point, maybe the vast quantities of Oestrogel destroyed Crystal Weston Chandler before she could be conceived. That is, if she wasn't already dumped into Fanta and drank on camera.
Orbiter "Flutter" / "Egg" / "Cabbage Patch" / "Meryl" / "Food Lion lady" - Modern Christory's biggest mystery
- Thread starter Zeus Blue Thunder
- Start date
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🔧 At about Midnight EST I am going to completely fuck up the site trying to fix something.
- Joined
- Mar 29, 2014
There's millions of women in Burgerland alone, so even if there's only a .0001% chance of a woman being attracted to that disgusting freak, that still means 1 in a million. So several women in this country could still find mother-raping "Chris Chan" attractive. And these days there's the internets, and of course that lolcow is rather infamous.
Bootsy
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- May 16, 2024
Right? Reminds me of those women who obsess over serial killers like Bundy, lining up to see them when they go to prison, holding signs that say "marry me". Terrifying shit.
- Joined
- Jan 12, 2019
Oh, women just need to eat some corn flakes and get their guy a beer
Bootsy
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- May 16, 2024
Or in flutter's case, a plate of spaghetti and some aquarium gravel.
- Joined
- Jan 12, 2019
Yeah weren't they seen buying aquarium gravel when they were pet browsing in that one picture?
Any corner Chris can cut he will and and then blame other people if he thinks they're doing it whether they actually are or not.
Pink-Over-Nail
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Jul 3, 2024
Chris confirms the “Law of Attraction”, a NewAge belief based on the realization of a thing according to a wish expressed in its favor.
“We attract what we are.”
In Chris's case, it has to be said:
- His person and his comics have become iconic figures in Web culture.
- He seems to have ended his long quest for love by finding a “boyfriend-free girl”.
Chris won, the trolls lost.
The Chris after the incestuous drama is not the same as before. The drugs and the protagonists around him (Caden and Flutter) could be the cause of this miraculous change. What's more, his time in prison could have made him aware of the consequences of his actions, which would explain why he's been so quiet.
For the usual Chris to return to the limelight, these orbiters would have to abandon him. We could then witness the return of our favorite lolcow, as new sagas approach. But for the time being, we can only speculate on how his life might turn out in the years to come. Although it's hard to imagine, let's be patient.
“We attract what we are.”
In Chris's case, it has to be said:
- His person and his comics have become iconic figures in Web culture.
- He seems to have ended his long quest for love by finding a “boyfriend-free girl”.
Chris won, the trolls lost.
The Chris after the incestuous drama is not the same as before. The drugs and the protagonists around him (Caden and Flutter) could be the cause of this miraculous change. What's more, his time in prison could have made him aware of the consequences of his actions, which would explain why he's been so quiet.
For the usual Chris to return to the limelight, these orbiters would have to abandon him. We could then witness the return of our favorite lolcow, as new sagas approach. But for the time being, we can only speculate on how his life might turn out in the years to come. Although it's hard to imagine, let's be patient.
- Joined
- Jan 12, 2019
Yeah, that's got to be the reason right there.
Bootsy
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- May 16, 2024
yes I believe they were. I'm surprised they just didn't go to a park or something and steal it from there for free.
They could at least buy a rock polisher and make them look nice. It's literally just these ugly scratchy rocks that you would find on like a gravel road or something.
- Joined
- Jan 12, 2019
Because they're fucking morons.
Caden isn't smart but he does have some business/technical prowess.
- Joined
- Mar 10, 2013
Sadly the old Chris who regularly made entertaining content seems to be long gone, now it’s all e-begging and extremely boring delusions.
I think part of the charm of classic era Chris was him being somewhat relatable but in a comedically over the top way, like most people have probably experienced unrequited love or have gotten angry at a perceived injustice but being a CPU goddess who wants to bring about a universal merge so you can live in your daydream land where everyone worships you is so Chris-specific that I find it hard to believe anyone enjoys hearing him ramble on about that nonsense.
And even if you treat it as a fictional story it’s now basically devoid of all threat since he’s the ultimate Mary Sue who can easily defeat any villain so there’s nothing pushing the plot forward, it’s just ‘The merge is going to be here..any day now..’.
Allseadem
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Dec 11, 2021
I don't know if anyone was confused when I stated in my previous post that Alexis had changed her surname multiple times - I'll clarify she did so multiple times since childhood, not since my original post.
Since I managed to rule out literally the only Finnish-American family I know of in this area as being related to Flutter, I personally have three primary theories:
No matter the theory, I believe that Flutter likely either knows of or is acquainted with the Marttila family and knows that they are of Finnish descent. (There are actually multiple Marttila family members who either work at or have graduated from Liberty University, proving its almighty influence over this tiny city.)
Here's an interesting article I came across when doing research; this was written by Mika Roinila and takes seven whole pages to tell us the glaringly obvious - that all of those of Finnish descent in Virginia moved here from elsewhere. Shocking! If you're interested in that kind of stuff, I also attached it to this post.
Since I managed to rule out literally the only Finnish-American family I know of in this area as being related to Flutter, I personally have three primary theories:
1. Her Finnish heritage is either extremely far back in her family history or being Finnish is some sort of myth in her family (e.g. how Bob and Chris both believed they were descended from the Cherokee people when they really weren't).
2. She is/was an international student or moved to Lynchburg from Finland (or elsewhere) for higher education-related purposes (such as employment as a professor). Liberty University is both Lynchburg's largest employer (by a long shot) and big economic driver, but there are other colleges and universities in the area that provide a good chunk of area employment. Those institutions are Randolph College, University of Lynchburg, and Virginia University of Lynchburg (despite the similar names, those last two are very much separate). The women's-only Sweet Briar College is also in nearby unincorporated Amherst County.
3. She is lying about being Finnish or of Finnish descent. I honestly think this one is more likely than the others.
2. She is/was an international student or moved to Lynchburg from Finland (or elsewhere) for higher education-related purposes (such as employment as a professor). Liberty University is both Lynchburg's largest employer (by a long shot) and big economic driver, but there are other colleges and universities in the area that provide a good chunk of area employment. Those institutions are Randolph College, University of Lynchburg, and Virginia University of Lynchburg (despite the similar names, those last two are very much separate). The women's-only Sweet Briar College is also in nearby unincorporated Amherst County.
3. She is lying about being Finnish or of Finnish descent. I honestly think this one is more likely than the others.
No matter the theory, I believe that Flutter likely either knows of or is acquainted with the Marttila family and knows that they are of Finnish descent. (There are actually multiple Marttila family members who either work at or have graduated from Liberty University, proving its almighty influence over this tiny city.)
Here's an interesting article I came across when doing research; this was written by Mika Roinila and takes seven whole pages to tell us the glaringly obvious - that all of those of Finnish descent in Virginia moved here from elsewhere. Shocking! If you're interested in that kind of stuff, I also attached it to this post.
Ctrl + Z
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Jul 13, 2024
- Joined
- May 31, 2021
Pure speculation on my part;
Maybe now that the authorities are aware that they can’t return Chris to his elderly mother and it’s certainly going to be an issue if an unmedicated, unsupervised Chris goes back to wandering malls and such, even if Caden threw him out and flutter vanished, that lawyer who effectively saved Chris from prison might be enlisted again to find another caretaker or situation where Chris is not a problem?
Yes, I know this is not the done thing in normal circumstances but Chris isn’t “normal”.
He is a village idiot who became the internet’s village idiot.
The local authorities are almost certainly aware that he has a following of other retards and autists, so they perhaps realized that this could lead to bad publicity if Chris wound up homeless.
If it happens, maybe I will be wrong and Chris will be found dead in a macdonald’s dumpster, but so far he has been handled as a special case with seemingly unprecedented treatment.
- Joined
- Oct 14, 2015
- Joined
- May 31, 2021
At least Chris got out in the world and tried.
Took him years, but he has made far more effort than the average incel.
Captain Ahab
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- May 12, 2018
Isn’t the issue with incels that they want women way out of their league? Chris went for a cabbage-patch-kid-faced minion.
- Joined
- Feb 23, 2022
I mean...I don't think he did. You can't just go out and talk to her bro when you're locked up in prison for raping your fucking mom.
If I had been single for my whole life and saw this literal motherfucking sped have a girlfriend fall into his lap after a life of driving women away due to his behavior, I'd assume it's some sort of Jobian trial if I didn't just rope.
- Joined
- Dec 1, 2015
Chris's entire effort was fucking his mother and running his mouth about it. Had those events hadn't occurred, him and Flutter most likely would not have hooked up if she's True & Honest and not a Praetor thing.
- Joined
- Jan 12, 2019
Of course. Haven't you seen Megamind?
Brilliant movie. Highly do not recommend the series.
As we know next to nothing about cabbage, we can only guess at her motives and how she's able to deal with Chris.
I will see that she never seems truly excited to be with Chris, even as she does seem to enjoy some of their activities like looking at pets and everything.
Without knowing who she is, I would even say she's way too out of Chris's league.