@Spiny Rumples It's easy to have rage in the teens and 20s because that is when your drive to be with a woman is most strong, once you hit the 30s it dies down and you don't care so much. I have hope that soon I'll not care at all about women, it will like an irritating voice suddenly gone from my mind.
Don't get me wrong. It's super frustrating. But I think it's better than the alternative, meaningless fading pleasure that makes any romance ring more hollow.
Reasons to have casual sex:
- Instincts compel it.
- Experience in bed and with relationships gives skills and context (level up).
- Caring less about sex and scoring with women over time makes women think you're more confident (stakes feel lower, easier to relax and take the lead, "confidence" = rejection doesn't hurt if success doesn't matter much either).
- Lose your virginity.
Reasons not to have casual sex:
- Potential for messy one-sided attraction from you or her after.
- Potential for STI's and pregnancies.
- Caring less about sex and scoring with women over time makes sexual relationships less meaningful to you (my guess, it's hard to get a clear answer out of people on this topic).
- Lose your virginity.
Women do have soft skin don't they?
No, that's the opposite of what I said. Some women do and some women don't. Some women feel good to the touch and some uncomfortable, in my experience. I suspect that your imagined version of reality doesn't line up with how you/your body would react in real life. My preferences IRL don't line up with my preferences in porn, I've found.
I don't think women do high fives or like to be touched. They are usually very careful not to get too close.
Differs from culture to culture, but I doubt that she will be crying at home that night about how some guy offered her a high-five. If you care that much about doing it "morally," I guess just look in the mirror and see if you look like the kinda guy you would high five if he offered it on the street (or after chatting with for a few minutes in a cafe or something). But the stakes are low, if they accept or reject it doesn't mean anything.
Why did it have to be you that organized most things though, did you have the personality type for it?
I don't know. I have learned this from painful experience. No logic or morals apply, but experimental observation beats the hypotheses, right?
Just make sure it is an event that you would want to go to too. Women (and people in general, by more woman) are like cats, in that they're generally skittish and defensive, but if you relax and get comfortable first they can sense that and feel less stressed themselves.
I've not got any women I know to try practicing talking to someone I don't find attractive, that is a good tip though.
Well maybe some day you'll find someone you aren't very attracted to.
Huh, he takes pictures of their dogs and uploads it??
Hell yeah. He isn't attractive either (I think, but I can't rate guys' looks that well). He started with the pro photography skills & experience petting dogs and then he made a goal tot to tackle his social anxiety by doing daily reps.
Any pub i've been too has been a place where you get a table with your family and everyone sticks to their own groups, I've never seen a place where people freely intermingle.
Ah, British? I'm over in America so different things to do. Maybe rock climbing, art, meitheal (or is that just Irish?), fishing, church?
While it's true that it isn't happening just to you and there are other dysgenic freaks such as yourself that don't have talent or charisma to fall back on, most men are capable of compensating for a lack of certain traits.
You said something about women being able to spot genetics at a glance. I'm not sure how true that is but they do have a sixth sense which has been developed over billions of years to identify sexual predators. If you're cumming in your pants at the mere thought of a woman's touch
On this topic, but I think you could consider that women aren't objectively great decision makers who all have excellent senses. Some people, including women, have bad taste or are making quick judgement calls. Just keep in mind what they're (maybe unconsciously) using to make those judgement calls:
- Are you well-groomed, not smelly, wearing shoes? = Physically and mentally healthy enough.
- Were you just chatting casually with someone? Does that person look okay? = Able to chat comfortably with others.
- Are you closed or open in your body language? Closed resembles an MMA stance. Open opens yourself up to a gut or throat punch undefended. = Are you guarded and ready to fight, or are you unguarded because you don't expect to be attacked (trusting) or can shrug off hits easily (badass).
- Do you seem anxious or like you're aiming the conversation somewhere = "Are you trying to get me to buy something?" High motivation for unknown motive is sus. If you have a goal, say it plainly so they can respond. i.e. "Excuse me, I'm collecting 2 high fives a day to work on my social anxiety. High five? (after a second or so) yay/alright. Got any tips that you think would help me going forward?"
That's all I've got for now. It got me to the level of having multiple friend groups and social skills. Just keep in mind that there is a lot of bullshit and lies out there, from all walks of life, so practical experience leads to the truth that can be found in your local area.
