DarksydePhil / TheyCallMeDSP / Phil Burnell: General Discussion #2

[dent_whisperer]

Phil's perfect stream would be looking at the camera and coping/begging for several hours while multiple goals are being met and the LARPers keep telling him how awesome he is.

Nah his perfect stream would be checking his phone to see about 300 in tips in his paypal while never getting out of bed.

 

[neger psykolog]

Phil's perfect stream would be looking at the camera and coping/begging for several hours while multiple goals are being met and the LARPers keep telling him how awesome he is.

Nah I think he gets the most actual enjoyment from lying about stuff. So basically what you described but he's constantly lying to his board members (dents) and the press (detractors) about some totally trivial thing like owning a bird, having a WWE Champions account or that Derish is one of his private zoo animals and he keeps him in a cage.

If there wasn't lying involved then I'm not sure he'd give a shit. The lying literally seems to give him zest for life and the money that comes from it seems secondary to that.

TBH I would be very curious to see how DSP would do at poker. He's good at lying but does he have a poker face?

 

[Lloyd Outremer S.A.]

Even though it's been said before, Phil's whole cope about being a blue collar or a simple working man always reminds me of what his life should have been: Either staying at Sikorsky and moving into one of the cheaper towns along Connecticut's Gold Coast. Or maybe he'll pick up a job around one of the corporate parks around Greenwich or some other NYC suburb and become some normoid salaryman if the helicopter grift didn't workout. Even if he's a bum from Bridgeport, Connecticut (total dump of a town) his grug-brained nature makes him perfect for some Long Island living - he can LARP it up it with the Italians and other wiggers over there too. Maybe even Phil could have snagged a nice job in NYC and he could have done the daily ritual of commuting by train. Granted, knowing DSP, he probably can't even figure out how to use the train or even how to navigate the city on foot. Driving would be even worse for the ol' pigroach.

Instead he clocks in for his shift at Burnell Productions 6 days a week, 40 hours a day (like Warski said, 40 hours a day), and plays make-believe CEO with his daily dented boardroom meetings.

 

[DerelictOnion]

TBH I would be very curious to see how DSP would do at poker. He's good at lying but does he have a poker face?

He is very predictable though. Once he gets figured out (probably after a few hands) he'd be done.

 

[neger psykolog]

Instead he clocks in for his shift at Burnell Productions 6 days a week, 40 hours a day (like Warski said, 40 hours a day), and plays make-believe CEO with his daily dented boardroom meetings.

It'd be pretty entertaining if Burnell Productions was actually a stock ticker.
Then DSP could make LinkedIn posts about effective corporate leadership and other CEO-type bullshit.

 

[dent_whisperer]

TBH I would be very curious to see how DSP would do at poker. He's good at lying but does he have a poker face?

He'd get caught trying to mark cards in the most retardedly obvious way possible and get booted from the casino in under an hour.

 

[Kheapathic]

From everything I read it looks like he just spends 2 fucking hours prestreamin' then goes into the game for like 45 minutes at most and never gets into most of the games.

I'd say it's closer to 2.5 to 3 hours pre-streaming; when Comma said you could watch any of the Lord of the Rings movies and still beat his pre-stream, they weren't lying. I never watched it, but I often heard Seinfeld was the TV show about nothing; well Phil fucking one-upped that, but you get an entire week of Seinfeld in a single day, six days a week with Phil's pre-stream. What does Phil talk about; well donations and goals mostly, and then there's his schedule so you know what he's doing, and then it's just random shit, a majority of which is related to shit that's already happened on stream. He doesn't even have the television courtesy to make each pre-stream episode its own unique adventure or to bring in new characters, or even get Kat as a special guest from time to time.

When it comes to gaming, it's the same old few talking points over and over, when he's not begging, and most of these are pre-cursors to begging;
1. I love this game / I grew up with it
2. I'm loving this game, as you guys can see
3. You guys are loving this game
4. Look at my tech / new toy

He really can't come up with different talking points or vocalize the specifics of how/why he/audience are enjoying said game, outside of tips. I don't want to say he's right, because people do tend to support shit they like; but Phil doesn't think it's unreasonable to get $300 a day ($150 across two streams) from the same small group of people. And what is his meaningful robust sandwich style content; mostly getting his hand held by chat and fucking wasting time to either force a tip or quit. I could go into detail about how he burned a good hour or so in Suikoden today, I won't, but could; and mainly it involved him fucking around, and then sidetracking the main quest and an important boss, to go chase recruits because someone from his chat told him to; and then spent damn near 20 minutes running around the castle begging for tips instead of taking care of the Neclord problem. Not to mention his fast-food goals, which fuck what the audience wants, because even though they allegedly already paid for it via meeting goals, he needs money to perform said reward, and certain types of food apparently draw in more people than other types of food, so the audience doesn't even get what they met goals and paid extra for. If Phil ran a sandwich shop, it'd go out of business because the proprietor, on top of being a mental retard, is slow and fails to give his patrons what they may want, on top of chasing them out for talking about sports or anything else he doesn't like.

He says he wants to pivot away from gaming content, but the real question is, what is he gonna do; talk about shit that isn't relevant anymore for 6-8 hours a day. Do it Phil, drop gaming, it'll be hilarious watch you fucking claim your content is meaningful when all you do is talk about food and a gaming tournament from 20 years ago.

 

[GameratePTSD]

TBH I would be very curious to see how DSP would do at poker. He's good at lying but does he have a poker face?

"Uhm... oh nuts! Darn what a terrible hand tuhuhu... I raise"

 

[Lloyd Outremer S.A.]

It'd be pretty entertaining if Burnell Productions was actually a stock ticker.
Then DSP could make LinkedIn posts about effective corporate leadership and other CEO-type bullshit.

Some of those LinkedIn goons are so far up their own ass that Phillip might actually make a few friends, if he can keep them.

 

[Brother Wind]

This faggot is so fucking helpless, someone tells him about a character to recruit and he ditches a storyline dungeon to fucking go. You're a soulless fucking husk without an internal monologue Phil; if you were to kill yourself, nothing in the universe would change.

Edit: Won't fucking fight Neclord, says next stream; he could've, but chat told him to go get all the different characters; and now he's fucking stalling and just running around the castle and whining about the goal. Fucking starve yourself and your fat wife, faggot.

I wonder how he does. Suikoden 1 is a pretty easy game until the Neclord. Then if you are a 12 under levelled idiot child he gives you a little grief. So its possible Phil is hosed.

 

[Pargon]

He says he wants to pivot away from gaming content, but the real question is, what is he gonna do; talk about shit that isn't relevant anymore for 6-8 hours a day. Do it Phil, drop gaming, it'll be hilarious watch you fucking claim your content is meaningful when all you do is talk about food and a gaming tournament from 20 years ago.

Don’t forget his favorite topic: how he could have been God-King of the universe except a few dozen idiots on the Internet decided to start laughing at him over ten years ago and it ruined his life so badly that he’s now a protoplasm.

Hitler wasn’t deterred by jokey-jokes, Phil! Stalin didn’t stop the purge of a nation full of potential opposition because people said his mustache made him look like a faggot! You wanna achieve your ambition you gotta drive straight toward the basket, not stand in the middle of the court and shit yourself like you do every time life hands you an opportunity.

 

[Kheapathic]

I wonder how he does. Suikoden 1 is a pretty easy game until the Neclord. Then if you are a 12 under levelled idiot child he gives you a little grief. So its possible Phil is hosed.

He's not using what I'd consider built-in cheats of the castle shops stocking everything from any store you visit plus Gaspar, who is an infinite money cheat if you're willing to save scum (and you should be, everyone does). He's not really gravitating towards specific characters and keeping gear up to date, he's choosing weird groups, and thinking that grinding is a thing; instead of realizing that exp comes quickly depending on a character's level and the level of the are you're in. So what does he do when he gets to the Lorimar area; drops Kuromimi, Gon, and Fu Su Lu in his party, explores the map and zones, and then "grinds" for exp and money. Even going to Neclord's Castle before the story events, eventually wanders over to Warrior's Village, runs the storyline, goes to the Qlon Cave, runs the story, decides there are more characters to recruit, so gets the 3 Pirates and a few others, which involved power leveling Tai Ho and Yam Koo in Neclord's Castle (which he didn't need to do). He then puts around the castle for 20 minutes, talking about tips and goals and how Neclord can wait till the next stream. His save timer was almost at 15 hours when he quit, I imagine he'll beat the game, but he's so fucking retarded and aimless it won't happen till June or July.

Edit: And just Suikoden sperging for anyone not in the know;
You may see people say Suikoden 1 is easy and short, and it is, I'd like to think Konami was trying something new and so were just kinda winging it. But it's easy, because the idea of building a castle with different NPCs with different jobs, means you have everything you need in a central space. You have the Inn to heal/save, you have the shops which will carry anything you see in other shops, you have the blacksmiths to upgrade your weapons, and you have Gaspar (or other gamblers) which you can save scum into infinite money. Sure exp and levels are important, but you can outfit anyone in your party without leaving the castle; and leveling weapons to the higher levels get really expensive, especially when you have six characters in your group, and certain ones you'd never think of using are forced into your party in a late game dungeon (like Krin). It requires a lot of in game money, but in every game you have your infinite money NPC there, ready to finance your entire war effort, all you need to do is save scum a bit; and Phil loves his game from his childhood, but can't remember the most basic part of it.

 

[Brother Wind]

He's not using what I'd consider built-in cheats of the castle shops stocking everything from any store you visit plus Gaspar, who is an infinite money cheat if you're willing to save scum (and you should be, everyone does). He's not really gravitating towards specific characters and keeping gear up to date, he's choosing weird groups, and thinking that grinding is a thing; instead of realizing that exp comes quickly depending on a character's level and the level of the are you're in. So what does he do when he gets to the Lorimar area; drops Kuromimi, Gon, and Fu Su Lu in his party, explores the map and zones, and then "grinds" for exp and money. Even going to Neclord's Castle before the story events, eventually wanders over to Warrior's Village, runs the storyline, goes to the Qlon Cave, runs the story, decides there are more characters to recruit, so gets the 3 Pirates and a few others, which involved power leveling Tai Ho and Yam Koo in Neclord's Castle (which he didn't need to do). He then puts around the castle for 20 minutes, talking about tips and goals and how Neclord can wait till the next stream. His save timer was almost at 15 hours when he quit, I imagine he'll beat the game, but he's so fucking retarded and aimless it won't happen till June or July.

Well thats neat and all but I was speculating on if Neclord filters him or not. He was kinda tough on me as a kid. So I have a sense that Phil might actually lose to him

 

[neger psykolog]

Some of those LinkedIn goons are so far up their own ass that Phillip might actually make a few friends, if he can keep them.

 

[Kheapathic]

Well thats neat and all but I was speculating on if Neclord filters him or not. He was kinda tough on me as a kid. So I have a sense that Phil might actually lose to him

Sorry, I'm a bit of a sperg. I wouldn't be surprised if Neclord does filter him a bit; but he has chat holding his hand. While the money didn't come in this stream, it was reliably coming in until today. As long as chat continues to baby him and he gets tips, I wager he'll power through Neclord, eventually, even if chat needs to tell him to gamble and gear up; because he isn't gearing properly, and I reckon if he does get filtered, that will be the reason.

 

[Brother Wind]

Sorry, I'm a bit of a sperg. I wouldn't be surprised if Neclord does filter him a bit; but he has chat holding his hand. While the money didn't come in this stream, it was reliably coming in until today. As long as chat continues to baby him and he gets tips, I wager he'll power through Neclord, eventually, even if chat needs to tell him to gamble and gear up; because he isn't gearing properly, and I reckon if he does get filtered, that will be the reason.

No need to apologize, I have a lot of fond memories of the summer I played that game. Your sperging has been taking me back. Its also kinda fun to talk about this retards gameplay for a change.

 

[Lloyd Outremer S.A.]

Is anyone thinking about establishing a thread for PWR? He's a real cow in the making in the DSPverse. Casino is gonna start alogging him on Friday.

View attachment 7142246

Phil would crush it working or leading some small 100-employee firm in the NYC suburbs, I'm telling you. He could also be one of those construction contractors (just like his fellow italians) and hire only dents and illegal immigrants.

 

[neger psykolog]

View attachment 7142246

(last one, I just had to see what one dealing with Derish would look like)

 

[Balr0g]

Sorry, I'm a bit of a sperg. I wouldn't be surprised if Neclord does filter him a bit; but he has chat holding his hand. While the money didn't come in this stream, it was reliably coming in until today. As long as chat continues to baby him and he gets tips, I wager he'll power through Neclord, eventually, even if chat needs to tell him to gamble and gear up; because he isn't gearing properly, and I reckon if he does get filtered, that will be the reason.

I think he will beat Neclord. I finished the remake yesterday and honestly you don't need much. I did grind a bit of money for the charatcers I absolutely wanted for the final battle but my characters were all below Level 60 when I klled the last boss (I even made a mistake there and still managed to beat it in one go) Suikoden 1 is in essence the idea Konami build and in 2 they expanded the base idea of the game by adding the ability for characters to carry more runes or having personal and party items. Plus extra side stories for certain characters (Clive being the most outstanding in that regard). And don't get me started on Suikoden V which was one of the best games of the series (besides 2)

 

[Elite Kipchak]

TBH I would be very curious to see how DSP would do at poker. He's good at lying but does he have a poker face?

I'm very confident you could determine the quality of his hand by measuring his APS (Acks Per Second)