Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[Falcon Sebben]

Used to do this a lot as a kid, it's also a very popular treat that's sold on the beach, either just fruit or some varieties with milk, we call it a geladinho

View attachment 7152688

Ice cream and derivatives are super straightfoward and once again Jack surprises us by fucking up something simple

Fatty is always going to fuck things up because he doesn't understand cooking. Anybody who's done this for as long as he has and adds a cup of cocoa to that monstrosity is an idiot.

And just mixing up dairy and fruit puree to freeze is the easiest freaking thing in the world. But even he'd fuck that up.

 

[Pig Cups]

Yeah it might not mean the end of Disney as people have predicted but so far it's not had the opening that Disney would have hoped.

Spoiler: Snow White sperging

The film (and Disney’s recent reliance on belching out live-action remakes of old classics) was already reduced to an object of ridicule long before it was released. Namely, due to Disney trying to boost its DEI cred by casting a Latina actress to play Snow White, changing to a girlboss storyline, and releasing that promo photo showing the 7 dwarves replaced by a diverse group of “magical creatures” of various races and genders. The backlash to the “7 box-checkers” was so severe that Disney hurriedly switched to CGI dwarves, which like the costumes/music/visual effects/choreography/performance of Gal Gadot, were fucking atrocious upon viewing the finished product.

It’s not going to mean the end of Disney (which is on its own, slow, self-inflicted decline), but it will *definitely* have a deleterious effect on Rachel Zegler’s career, which we’re already seeing. Her sole next project is the lead in a West End production of Evita, which doesn’t exactly ring as a positive next step for someone who just starred as the titular character in what should have been a blockbuster reboot of a epochal classic. Her career is either going to fade away, or enter a transient period of dormancy. And it has very little to do with her leftist political beliefs. It’s because:

1.) She crapped on the source material, which many found highly distasteful, and shrunk the audience.

Never underestimate the power of people’s sense of nostalgia, especially diehard Disney fans. Even those cringey “Disney Adults” with leftist politics of their own, who might have agreed with her on Palestine/disagreed that her being Latina was problematic, had a major OH HELL NO moment when she trashed the 1937 film. Regardless of modern sensibilities, the original film from 1937 is an iconic piece of film history. And when you’re an actor who’s been tapped for involvement in a continuation of something so monumentally historic and beloved, you understand the honor and significance of such a calling. Could you imagine Anthony Hopkins, Bryan Cranston, Willem Dafoe, or Sean Penn doing what Rachel Zegler did? Fuck no.

2.) The degree of financial failure being so extreme, with Zegler and her big mouth being seen as the primary culprit.

It’s one thing for an actor to star in a flop that comes as a result of poor production choices totally separate from their performance- an actor can recover from that. But when an actor makes poor choices of their own that lead to cataclysmic financial and critical failure? That can really hemorrhage one’s credibility and turn into a career-ender (that’s what happened to Mike Myers after he wrote/produced/starred in 2008’s The Love Guru, a critical and financial disaster). Disney could lose hundreds of millions from Snow White when all is said and done, and the fact that everyone can accurately point to Zegler as the prime reason for it will make her poison to any studios, producers, or directors moving forward. Nobody wants to think about losses in the hundreds of millions when you walk in for an audition, and that’s what she’s going to be associated with.

I think she had potential to launch her career into the stratosphere with this movie, but ended up stupidly destroying her career in its infancy by not knowing when to keep her mouth shut, or to not be a cunt in front of the cameras. What a dope.

Totally dead eyes. You could tell me this is a dude in a coma and I'd believe it. Just a mindless, brainless animal staring emptily into space.

I’m reminded of the sculptural depiction of Ariel Sharon after his 2006 stroke that rendered him a vegetable until he died eight years later.

 

[AltisticRight]

He managed to fuck up lime eggs though.

Eggs, water and calcium hydroxide.
He fucked up a recipe that consists of 3 ingredients mixed together, no cooking involved.

He's just that retarded.

That's when I decided Trump was a moron, an opinion I've never abandoned.

Spoiler: OT

He was also a hedonist who slept around and initially he was only approved by less than 2% of Christians. That's before he solicited the services of various megachurch televangelist scammers to brainwash the niggercattle masses, calling him the next Messiah or some utterly abominable shit like that. Never underestimate the power of edaddies.

 

[Pig Cups]

You didn’t need to post that.

I disagree. That was a fucking work of art.

Bravo, @Marc. Always a pleasure to read your piquant, slice of life depictions of the daily antics of Jack and Tammy Scalfani, and the hell-on-earth existence they lead.

 

[Marc]

You're kind for saying so, @Pig Cups, and condemned to hell for encouraging it. It seems inevitable that the cow subject being a broken record will result in my becoming one, as well. For better and (often) worse, nearly everything to do with Jack seems, at most, only a step removed from loose stools (with many of his video thumbnails managing to be downright indistinguishable from cancer patient diarrhea).

 

[Atypical Dog]

With all of the things Jack does/says, a minor consistent one that always annoys me if how he always uses "we" when referring to any of his channels. He wants this image where he has a production crew and a kitchen studio.

He conceives of the different Jack Scalfanis running the different channels as different people. Jack, Jacques, Juan, and so on.

Eggs, water and calcium hydroxide.
He fucked up a recipe that consists of 3 ingredients mixed together, no cooking involved.

He's just that retarded.

One of the other members of the crew was on duty that day! And in the redo! Jack Prime can still cook!

So they think.

 

[Uber driver reviewer]

I want to note for context that Chef John of Food Wishes, a contemporary of Jack as an early youtoob chef going back 16+ years, has secured a very nice partnership with Aldi. (Maybe he will partner with Lidl next)

Now, unlike Jack….Chef John has consistently improved his cooking, his production, and his business skills. Everything is very professional and designed to advanced the skills of the home cook while simplifying skilled techniques.

Chef John is a very likable , friendly, affable guy that reportedly knows how to party.

Meanwhile, Jack hasn’t done any of the above and is a no-fun prude that would have fun loving adults locked up under Christian Sharia.

Jack also has zero sponsorships or partnerships besides a handful of former MLM affiliate marketing for chinesium white label kitchen gadgets that go unwashed right into the grill graveyard or back to Amazon.

After all…Chef John is the Margrave of his Lebensmittelgeschäft, while Jack is the ham burned onto his non-stick pan.


Edit: Chef John recipies have never failed us. Definitely try some.

 

[Doctor of Autism]

Jack posts this while he's at a literal megachurch

 

[Hollywood Hulk Hogan]

Jack posts this while he's at a literal megachurch

View attachment 7155427

Megachurches definitely do the latter

 

[Tiresome]

Now, unlike Jack….Chef John

Let's not forget Chef John also has most of Jack's middle age physical traits but they work for him because he's visibly not a complete and utter douche.

 

[Falcon Sebben]

I want to note for context that Chef John of Food Wishes, a contemporary of Jack as an early youtoob chef going back 16+ years, has secured a very nice partnership with Aldi. (Maybe he will partner with Lidl next)

Now, unlike Jack….Chef John has consistently improved his cooking, his production, and his business skills. Everything is very professional and designed to advanced the skills of the home cook while simplifying skilled techniques.

Chef John is a very likable , friendly, affable guy that reportedly knows how to party.

Meanwhile, Jack hasn’t done any of the above and is a no-fun prude that would have fun loving adults locked up under Christian Sharia.

Jack also has zero sponsorships or partnerships besides a handful of former MLM affiliate marketing for chinesium white label kitchen gadgets that go unwashed right into the grill graveyard or back to Amazon.

After all…Chef John is the Margrave of his Lebensmittelgeschäft, while Jack is the ham burned onto his non-stick pan.


Edit: Chef John recipies have never failed us. Definitely try some.

Yeah he's a good guy but I find his sing-song voice irritating. I'm sure he's a nice guy and everything but I can only listen to him for so long.

I tried his "braided holiday bread" one year and it was a huge hit.

 

[p1138]

That makes slightly more sense, but still. Was this big in the '80s? Steakhouses that doubled as nightclubs?

Yes, technically. Black Angus(and there were a couple other chains as well) used to have part of the restaurant that was clearly a dance floor. Move the tables out of the way and be a lame "club" sometimes with live music, and of course the promo reel is using clips from music videos and concerts to make it look like big time musicians were showing up to do concerts

https://www.facebook.com/groups/blackangusfunbar/

So the fact that Fatty reminisces in his head about being a fucking club DJ at a god damned Black Angus is hilariously pitiful and makes a lot of sense. So yeah, chain steakhouse that wasn't particularly great. Still exists, don't know if they do the pretend club shit though.

 

[Slavic Patronym]

Yes, technically. Black Angus(and there were a couple other chains as well) used to have part of the restaurant that was clearly a dance floor. Move the tables out of the way and be a lame "club" sometimes with live music, and of course the promo reel is using clips from music videos and concerts to make it look like big time musicians were showing up to do concerts

Thank you for the information! That's interesting and it tracks; the way he talked about hittin' up the Steakhouse Clerb didn't sound as much like one of his typical lies as did it him reliving a very era-specific memory.

 

[p1138]

Thank you for the information! That's interesting and it tracks; the way he talked about hittin' up the Steakhouse Clerb didn't sound as much like one of his typical lies as did it him reliving a very era-specific memory.

Yes, and it also explains why he thinks that night clubs were some wholesome activity that never had people doing coke, and being willing to listen to whatever lame shit he wanted to play because after an hour they were just all drunk after an hour. A better description would be a chain restaurant that becomes a dive bar with a dance floor and Fatty as a DJ. It also tracks with the country music station he worked for because there was a big wannabe cowboy push in the 80s on the west coast.

edit: I didn't catch this till just now.

Jack spends $$$ on some fancy real podcaster's mic then looks to the side to read his food news.

He didn't spend shit on that mic. It's the turnstile audio garbage his brother convinced the marketing department at Adorama to give to his dumb ass a couple years ago.

And even then, the one he's using is this

https://www.adorama.com/tap300.html

 

[Doctor of Autism]

Jack thinks the democrats invented paying people to be violent



Jack malds about the mean comments in his podcast



Jack shocked that the show about the mafia is not for children



Jack has a new show

 

[Hollywood Hulk Hogan]

Jack malds about the mean comments in his podcast

The "fuck your feelings" crowd sure gets upset when their fee-fees get hurt

 

[Uber driver reviewer]

Edit: Chef John recipies have never failed us. Definitely try some.

Follow-up. we did the bistro style NY strip tonight. The sauce uses clarified butter, you know....Beef tallow.


It's a damn tasty recipe! It came out awesome. We had fries made in beef tallow (no for real) and the sauce really made that meal. It's a brine salty and satisfying hunk of meat with some really crispy fries. It takes a few hours for the sauce but it's not hard at all to make. Hint buy organic onions for this, and make you you chop them up fine like Chef John says.

Jack would fuck this up so bad if he would be assed to try it. He hasn't improved AT ALL.

 

[Major]

Let's not forget Chef John also has most of Jack's middle age physical traits but they work for him because he's visibly not a complete and utter douche.

View attachment 7155496

both of his arms work too

 

[Marc]

Jack would fuck this up so bad if he would be assed to try it. He hasn't improved AT ALL.

Even if Jack hadn't always been allergic to effort, no one rises to the occasion - They revert to their training; and Jack had not a single skill to fall back on (even before he lost the capacity to develop any of them), simply because he refused to. Which reminds me to ask if this post in another thread happens to remind folks of anyone, in particular:

I know this is all psychobabble to most people, after leaving the military and before I switched to safety and security in mining I did a degree in Occupational Therapy and worked for 2 years in Neuro rehabilitation. Teaching people how to redo things, or new ways to do them, after a stroke, brain damage or other form of neurological condition. Some people would pick things up really quickly, learn reasonably quickly and understand why something was being done a certain way. Some would even get ahead of you, pre-emptively understanding where you were going and what needed to be done. Most however, would fight you every step of the way, because they didn't understand what was being done, they couldn't comprehend that the neurological injury had fundementally changed the way they needed to approach life, and they resented having to approach things in a different way than they always had. They were confident in their way of viewing problems and the world and despite a lifechanging injury they would steadfastly refuse to change (even if it meant condemning themselves to a life as a sentient bedshitting cripple) because they'd always had that group consensus that they thought correctly and didn't need to change a thing. That fucking mindset, it just ensures somebody remains feeble and crippled, but you can't shake people off of it.

It was this type of thing, and thinking about this type of thing, which forced me to change careers. You have a narrow window of time to start recovery from a neuro injury, and it was depressing to see so many people fuck that up because they'd locked themselves into a way of thinking and approaching problems that they refused to deviate from because up until that point in time they'd been rewarded by society for being and thinking like everyone else.

 

[The Grimace]

Jack thinks the democrats invented paying people to be violent

Why would he think this when the truth is worse? Leftoids are retarded enough that they'll be violent for free.