Celebrity Meghan Markle / Rachel Meghan Markle / Meghan, Duchess of Sussex / Meghan Sussex / The Alliterate One - Markle Snarkle

[John Andrews Stan]

Meghan is supposed to launch her first products this week. Great timing, Dr. Sophie!

One thing I want to point out is that Meghan’s “fruit spread” comes in a tiny jar — 7 ounces. A standard jam jar is more than twice as large. I can’t wait to see what she charges for it. My guess is $12.99 but only if someone has talked her down from $19.99.

He would kill himself.

He’s a shitty enough person that I think he’s probably fantasized about how sorry his family would be if he did so. But I don’t think he has it in him.

Now I don’t think Meghan WILL talk him into necking himself so she can get the moron out of the way and reap all the sympathy for commercial gain, but I could see her doing so.

EDIT: I think I mentioned this over the weekend ITT:

 

[pink cigarettes]

Meghan is supposed to launch her first products this week. Great timing, Dr. Sophie!

One thing I want to point out is that Meghan’s “fruit spread” comes in a tiny jar — 7 ounces. A standard jam jar is more than twice as large. I can’t wait to see what she charges for it. My guess is $12.99 but only if someone has talked her down from $19.99.


He’s a shitty enough person that I think he’s probably fantasized about how sorry his family would be if he did so. But I don’t think he has it in him.

Now I don’t think Meghan WILL talk him into necking himself so she can get the moron out of the way and reap all the sympathy for commercial gain, but I could see her doing so.

EDIT: I think I mentioned this over the weekend ITT:

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Tbh gourmet fruit spreads are costly because they contain real ingredients (primarily the actual fruit and juice on the label) and more fruit overall, hence the name. A big jar of jam is cheap AF because it has a bunch of fillers, cheaper juices (like apple and pear), often use corn syrup, and so on.

What's laughable isn't the existence of gourmet jams. I could eat Stonewall Kitchen sour cherry out of the jar with a spoon, tbh. What's laughable is the fact that Meghan seems to think of herself as a Martha Stewart type, someone who could actually market an aspirational and tasteful lifestyle and be looked up to, and thinks that people will pay good money for THAT.

 

[John Andrews Stan]

What's laughable isn't the existence of gourmet jams

No shit. Hers isn’t “gourmet” (cringe word). She’s had zero to say about the ingredients and she shared a video of it being made by machines in a factory. But for over a year she’s been acting like she made this shit herself.

She’s going to try to sell basic bitch products at Flamingo Estate prices. Should be fun.

 

[Major]

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would certainly explain his attraction to meg

 

[HairyBadger]

I'm not up on the lore but wasn't there some story of like, Harry and Megan in Africa going camping or some shit and that's when he fell in love with her? I remember reading something like that years ago and thinking "Is this seriously just the first normal chick he's met and it was that impressive, or is this all fake?"
I think now that the story I heard must have been fake, and was written by someone very out of touch with reality to explain away her yachting.

The "camping" element happened after they were married. It was more African Safari Glamping with an unlimited budget.
This was when Markle started to interject herself into the charity stories.

 

[obsdj]

The "camping" element happened after they were married. It was more African Safari Glamping with an unlimited budget.

No, like I mentioned upthread it was when they first started seeing each other, he went on about it in his stupid Waaaugh book. They went to Botswana, and this was the beginning of his years of "Trust me. I'll keep you safe" conceit, repeated several times in the book.

N.B. she brought a yoga mat in her luggage.

 

[Free the Pedos]

would certainly explain his attraction to meg

Sicilians are more African than she is.

 

[JambledUpWords]

The "camping" element happened after they were married. It was more African Safari Glamping with an unlimited budget.
This was when Markle started to interject herself into the charity stories.

I couldn’t see Meghan actually camping like a middle class family despite the way she portrays herself in WLM. Having to sleep in a tent you set up yourself, with a standard sleeping bag, and food all cooked on a fire that isn’t just a gas powered fire pit would probably bother her. Not to mention most of the activities being stuff like hiking, fishing, swimming (in lakes), and looking at wildlife. I know she did a hike on one episode of WLM, but it was just outside her (fake) home, and any footage from that didn’t even make it to the final cut. She didn’t even look sweaty/tired at the end of the hike (got to keep up the impression she’s a real life Mary Sue that never sweats/gets messy). Meghan actually camping and not just “glamping” would be actually entertaining television, but she’s too insecure to ever portray herself in a way that’s less than perfect.

 

[HairyBadger]

Not the biggest expert on the British royals, but something along the lines of:

-Lady Di, her charitable work, divorce and death to highlight how the Firm has dealt with people breaking ranks before.

-Prince Andrew, and his assorted crimes and punishments to highlight that/how the Firm usually handles matters in-house

-Princess Kate and/or Anne, to demonstrate how a member of the Firm is supposed to conduct themselves.

That's how I'd play it anyway, assuming this is supposed to be normie-accessible.

Princess Kate,and Anne, are prime examples of how to conduct thenselves. I would add to that Sophie Duchess of Edinburgh who has stepped up and taken on a difficult role.

Add to that Zara, Annes daughter, and her husband ex England ruby player Mike Tindall.

No, like I mentioned upthread it was when they first started seeing each other, he went on about it in his stupid Waaaugh book. They went to Botswana, and this was the beginning of his years of "Trust me. I'll keep you safe" conceit, repeated several times in the book.
View attachment 7164414
N.B. she brought a yoga mat in her luggage.
View attachment 7164420

My appologies, I was not aware of this.

 

[John Andrews Stan]

New Telegraph article has Harry and the trustees accusing Chandauka of “playing the race card” and “forcing” them to hire her. It’s behind a paywall so here are the highlights (Telegraph subs are very cheap, I think 50 cents):



Two important data points:

1. Harry had not been to Lesotho to visit Sentebale for five years until he finally made a trip in October 2024. Pretty strange considering how much he dines out on his self-applied “humanitarian” label.

2. Harry NEVER took Meghan with him to Lesotho. Again, that’s odd. Sentebale was what he touted as his proudest achievement apart from Invictus and his military service. It was dedicated to his mother’s memory. He and M have made multiple trips to Africa but never made it there. They’ve been a stone’s throw away and didn’t bother with a side trip.

I suspect he really didn’t want her picking up any gossip from the locals about his pre-marriage exploits in Lesotho. Or perhaps her arrogance meant she didn’t even care about appearances. At least one trip for the sake of optics would have been advisable.

I couldn’t see Meghan actually camping like a middle class family despite the way she portrays herself in WLM.

What’s funny is her father released old home videos where the two of them do exactly that. Meghan as a kid rolls her eyes at her father when he’s trying to be funny while she’s trying to fish. It’s hard to believe she ever carried herself without all the airs and graces she’s been putting on for so long.

ETA: Products launch tomorrow. Meghan is on her IG doing her mom dancing and pretending to pore over packaging and marketing collateral. Someone else can post it, I’m nauseous.

 

[JambledUpWords]

 

[duckling]

Two important data points:

1. Harry had not been to Lesotho to visit Sentebale for five years until he finally made a trip in October 2024. Pretty strange considering how much he dines out on his self-applied “humanitarian” label.

2. Harry NEVER took Meghan with him to Lesotho. Again, that’s odd. Sentebale was what he touted as his proudest achievement apart from Invictus and his military service. It was dedicated to his mother’s memory. He and M have made multiple trips to Africa but never made it there. They’ve been a stone’s throw away and didn’t bother with a side trip.

I suspect he really didn’t want her picking up any gossip from the locals about his pre-marriage exploits in Lesotho. Or perhaps her arrogance meant she didn’t even care about appearances. At least one trip for the sake of optics would have been advisable.


What’s funny is her father released old home videos where the two of them do exactly that. Meghan as a kid rolls her eyes at her father when he’s trying to be funny while she’s trying to fish. It’s hard to believe she ever carried herself without all the airs and graces she’s been putting on for so long.

ETA: Products launch tomorrow. Meghan is on her IG doing her mom dancing and pretending to pore over packaging and marketing collateral. Someone else can post it, I’m nauseous.

Meghan’s failure to attend the oct 2024 Sentebale trip was a huge deal at the time, for those who weren’t watching her then. Meghan tacked herself on to all of his charitable ventures and then suddenly for this one … silence? Harry keeping her away is one good theory. That trip also coincided with her major disappearance off the radar for a few months so I personally believe she was convalescing following various cosmetic procedures (upper bleph, bruising from fillers, etc).

Her nose job is starting to age really weirdly. The tip is starting to look like Pinocchio.

In the reel jambledupwords posted just above, you can really see how the tip of her nose is just…. Going.

New A Sever Posts:





That photo with her in front of all the women is an old one.

 

[John Andrews Stan]

That trip also coincided with her major disappearance off the radar

No, while he was gone she attended the LA Children’s Hospital Gala in the deflated red windsock dress and celebrated International Day of the Girl at Girls Inc. of Greater Santa Barbara.

That photo with her in front of all the women is an old one.

It’s from the NY trip she took to do the Drew Barrymore talk show the week WLM launches, less than a month ago.

I hope a journalist finally picks up on the fact that the “What color will Archie’s skin be?” conversation Meggot alleged was in fact a hypothetical question that came up — in Harry’s words — “right at the beginning, before we were even married.” Some media outlet needs to compile a comprehensive list of their lies. It would be a devastating record and the timing is right.

 

[obsdj]

I hope a journalist finally picks up on the fact that the “What color will Archie’s skin be?” conversation Meggot alleged was in fact a hypothetical question that came up — in Harry’s words — “right at the beginning, before we were even married.”

Chris Rock addressed this and other Meghan BS in his last standup special, "Selective Outrage." He tore her up, actually, pointing out that she won the light-skin lottery and said most of her complaints about the royal family were just in-law shit. As far as wanting to know how brown the baby was gonna be, he was all, "That's not rayciss! Cause even black people wanna know how brown the baby gonna be! Shit, we check behind them ears!"

 

[John Andrews Stan]

Chris Rock

Yeah, he did good. My concern is that Meghan has managed to skew the timeline despite Harry invalidating it right then and there. Some media critic will eventually do a major post mortem on all this someday. It would be very marketable now. But very few want to take on Oprah and co.

 

[John Andrews Stan]

Front page of Wednesday’s Sun:



Boom.

Meanwhile the Daily Mail is burying all the most interesting content behind a paywall now. It’s only $1.99/mo for the first year so I got it. This is a VERY misleading headline:



No message is revealed, of course.



I hate the Daily Mail more than Harry and Meghan do.

 

[Fapcop]

Curious to see how big of a fail her jam will be.

Their “independence” has been exactly the kind of fiasco I expected. People weren’t interested in them because of Harry and Meg, but because they were royals. Without the title, they’re just two more socal millionaires. And not even particularly interesting: A goofy looking ginger and his B list actress wife.

The jam might have sold if they had bought some orchards in the UK and called it “The Royal Preserve” or some shit like that. Charles made a pretty penny on his agricultural ventures.

But she has zero authenticity to sell these kinds of things. The Tig sorta worked because it was believable. This however isn’t.

 

[Sho'nuff]

I know all the women in the Royal family are just doing their best Princess Diana impression, not that I'm demeaning them for that, Princess Diana and Queen Elizabeth II are the pinnacle of what it means to be Royal family in the eyes of the world.
But when Meghan does it, she just seems like fucking Waluigi.

 

[duckling]

I know all the women in the Royal family are just doing their best Princess Diana impression, not that I'm demeaning them for that, Princess Diana and Queen Elizabeth II are the pinnacle of what it means to be Royal family in the eyes of the world.
But when Meghan does it, she just seems like fucking Waluigi.

You're sleeping on Anne, Princess Royal. Diana was a mess.

 

[Sho'nuff]

You're sleeping on Anne, Princess Royal. Diana was a mess.

You are right, she is her own woman in the family.